When Tobias and Gwen told me they set me up for therapy sessions, I didn't fight it.

To be honest, I never thought about it before but I can see why it'd be so much help. Days were only getting longer and I was only getting more sad.

I not only felt bad about losing my father, but I felt bad for what I was putting Tobias through. I watched him every day making sure I was taken care of. Constantly checking in on me, trying to make sure I was dressed and fed. Making sure I wasn't feeling lonely.

I was beginning to think I was the full-time job if it wasn't for him having to leave me in the evening to prepare for the Grand Re-Opening in a month.

He's been doing it all which is exactly why I felt relief knowing he was going to attend therapy too. He was going through his personal pain. Everything he went through as a child mixed in with the loss of Dad. Plus, add in the fact that he now has somehow formed into the leader of this household (no, it wasn't going to be me).

He had a lot on his shoulders so I was happy to hear we'd be going separately, but together.

It's been a couple of weeks of going and it's been interesting. My therapist's name is Susan Baker, and she has wild curly red hair and wears green glasses. Honestly, she looks like she just stepped out of a cartoon and it's weirdly comforting. She also reminds me of my old art teacher Mrs.Templeton which I find very soothing.

She asks me questions like:

"What are some of your favorite memories with your father?"

"Who have you found comfort in during this time?"

"What do you miss most about him, and how are you handling those feelings?"

Which all has been very nice to relive. I don't want him to disappear. I never want to forget him.

I squeezed Tobias tightly, my head on his chest, as I thought about all of this. We were lying in my bed, damp after our evening shower, wrapped up in blankets with the soft glow of my bedroom lamps illuminating the room.

It felt so warm here in his arms.

"You feel so warm," I said out loud.

Tobias laughed softly. "It's because you're an icebox." He shivered, pulling me in closer. I wrapped my legs up with his.

I looked up at his beautiful face. "I'm proud of you, you know." I breathed.

He peeked down at me. "What? Why?" He laughed.

"You're just...the strongest human I've ever known. You deal with so much and you push through to see another day. You inspire me." I kissed his chest.

"You inspire me too." He kissed the top of my head.

"Now I know you're lying." I laughed.

"No, I'm serious. You're a huge reason why I try so hard to keep going. You're my muse. You're my...everything." He breathed.

I closed my eyes tightly, squeezing him closer to me.

"Squeeze me any tighter and I'll pass out." He laughed.

"Sorry." I smiled.

"Don't say sorry. I kind of like it. I'm just telling you what to prepare for." He snuggled in close.

I breathed in, soaking up his scent and his calming spirit. I lifted my hand to brush his still-damp hair back out of his face.

It's true that we haven't been physical with each other much since Dad's passing.

But laying here, right now, with him. He's all I want.

"Tobias?" I breathed.

He looked down at me, his one eyebrow raised, looking me over. As though, he's reading my mind, he lets out a shaky breath.

"Elijah, I don't want to rush you." He whispered.

"You're not," I said sitting up and taking off my shirt. He didn't have a shirt on which was nice since he was only wearing boxers. He watched as I slipped out of my pajama bottoms, and crawled under the sheet. He joined me, wrapping his arm back around me. I laid on his chest again, and slowly laid a gentle kiss on his lips.

I could tell by his breathing and his shaky fingers that he was using all his might to suppress his urgency. I appreciate that so much about him.

I swung my leg to the other side of his so that I was now straddling his hips.

"Is this okay?" He panted, running his hands up and down my thighs.

"Yes, and please stop asking. Just let yourself go." I said, reattaching my lips to his again. He cares so much but in moments like these, I just want to let myself go and not think. I just want to feel.

He gripped my boxers and pulled them down so they sat under my ass.

"Fuck, Elijah. I've missed you so much." He said, his voice shaky with need. His tongue was merciless in my mouth. We kissed like we'd never get the chance again. His hands felt up and down my chest, exploring my body until he was satisfied and came back down again to squeeze my ass. I kept grinding my hips back and forth on his. Our dicks rubbing against each other beneath our boxers.

My dick felt strained underneath the cloth. I needed out and I needed out now.

"Take it off." I moaned before whipping the blankets off of us. I leaned back and wiggled my legs free as he quickly stripped my boxers off, throwing them across the room before doing the same thing to his own.

"I'll grab the lube." He started getting up but I very quickly laid my hand on his chest to push him back down.

"You sit." I stammered. "I'll get it." I stretched over to my night table and grabbed the bottle of lube. I climbed back onto Tobias's lap, staring down at him. "Give me your hand," I said softly.

He looked at me confused as I squirted a healthy amount onto his fingers. Gently, I gripped his hand and pulled it behind me. "I want to stay like this." I breathed.

"Okay." He never broke eye contact with me as he slipped his fingers between my cheeks and started drawing circles around my rim.

I tried my best to not close my eyes as he was making me dizzy with the gentle pressure.

He sat there beneath me, back against the headboard, staring up at me into my eyes. I could feel his chest rise and fall slowly beneath me. His eyesight dropped from mine to my dick which was standing there proudly in the middle of us, so close to his face. Instinctively, he slightly parted his lips as I grabbed my hand and slowly circled his lips with the tip of my dick. The mix between his hot breath and the slickness from his saliva was driving me crazy.

He slipped his finger in my hole at the same time as he slipped my mouth inside his beautiful lips. I took in a sharp breath as I trembled at the dual pleasure.

"Oh, fuck." I moaned. He hummed around my dick as he sucked gently up and down my shaft.

"You look so good with my dick between your lips," I said, my words breathless.

He looked up at me with glassy eyes.

I quickly realized after saying it that this was the first time he'd been below me as he gave me head.

"Fuck, Tobias." I slipped out and pulled away. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking."

He stopped me from going too far as he gripped my ass, pulling me back. "No, stop. It's okay." He breathed. I hesitated, scanning his face. I never ever would want him to feel uncomfortable.

"I'm safe with you." He slowly nodded, licking his lips. They looked so plush and sweet.

I smiled at him, combing my hands through his hair. "You're safe with me."

"Come back. I'm not done with you yet." He smirked, guiding my dick back to his mouth. His lips swallowed me whole again and I had to use all my might not to crumble instantly. His fingers behind me went back to work, plunging deep into my hole, and hooking his fingers until he brushed that delicious spot.

"Tobias" I curled my fingers in his hair as he kept sucking.

"Mmm," He moaned as a response, sending ripples up my spine. My head fell back as I savored the sensations.

"You can't make me come yet. I want you to fuck me." I breathed, placing my hand on his cheek. He popped his mouth off my tip and I bent down to brush my lips gently on his. Teasing him gingerly, he smiled as I reached for the lube beside us on the bed. I squeezed out a healthy amount on his dick and dropped the bottle before wrapping my hand around his member, sliding it up and down.

"Fuck." He moaned, leaning his head back on the headboard. He panted as I gently pulled and twisted my hand up his shaft, just the way he liked it. I watched as pleasure washed over his face. I could come just by watching this beautiful man feel good.

He placed his hands on my thighs to attempt to flip me on my back. I stood my ground, bracing my legs and placing my hands on his arms to stop him. "No. I want to stay like this." I ordered.

He looked me over, confused at first and then intrigued. "Okay." He breathed, getting comfortable.

I positioned myself perfectly over his waist and reached my hand behind myself to line up the tip of his dick to my entrance.

"Breathe for me." He said. I opened my mouth and let out a small and long breath as I eased myself down onto his dick.

At first, it felt like there was no way I was going in at this angle. I placed my hand on his shoulder as he rested his hands on my waist. As soon as I felt his tip breech my rim, I started to calm down. We can do this.

I looked at him in the eyes as he smiled at me, looking at my face like I was a prize.

He thinks I'm a prize.

These past few months I've felt like such a waste. Sleeping in, not eating well, barely doing anything day to day. But this man - this beautiful man - when he looks at me like that. I know I'm more than the grief I feel. I know I'm meant for more than the dark days.

I rested my other hand on his shoulder and tilted my hips back so I could open myself up more to him.

"That's it, baby. There you are." He breathed, spreading me open with his hands on my ass.

I kept my eyes on his face which was driving me crazy. He looked so good, flushed and breathless.

I kept sliding myself up and down on his shaft until I was all the way down to the hilt. We both groaned at the sudden connection. I leaned down, resting my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my back.

Tobias lifted my face off his shoulder with his hands, scanning my face.

I probably looked so dazed and in love.

I bit my lip as he watched me curiously.

"You're so amazing." He breathed.

I looked him over. He really thought that.

I don't know what I did to deserve a man like him but I'm glad that I did it.

I leaned down to give him a tender kiss. He tasted so good. I locked my lips with him as I began to lift my hips up and down. It felt incredible. Our kiss started to get insistent. His hands tangled themselves in my hair as I gripped the back of his neck with my clasped fingers to hold on.

We both moaned like animals as I hungrily used his body to thrust into myself. Up and down, I kept going. Our chests brushed against one another's.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he grabbed ahold of my ass to help me keep the pace.

"Take it from me, Tobias. Take whatever you want. It's yours." I groaned into his ear, biting down onto his shoulder.

He shuddered underneath me as he lifted his hips to match mine crashing down on his. We're probably going to have bruises tomorrow at this rate.

He couldn't help himself. He leaned forward, pushing me onto my back, my legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer. He never left my body. Instead, he gripped the sheets above my head, towered over me, and plunged in deeply.

I lifted my hips so every thrust was hitting that glorious spot inside of me.

"Holy shit. Yes, Tobias. Please." I rambled.

"Louder. I want to hear you come." He grunted, licking my neck.

"Yes! Fuck, yes, Tobias. Please." I cried out. I raked my fingers down his toned back until I gripped his firm ass. He was doing such a great job fucking me. I pulled him closer to my body with every thrust.

He was fucking me so hard into the mattress that I was beginning to fall off the foot of the bed. Tobias clearly didn't care. He was hungry for my orgasm and I was ready to give it to him.

"Come with me, baby." He moaned, gripping my thighs. My head and torso were now hanging off of the bed. I felt like all the blood was going straight to my head with every thrust. The room started to spin out of control as I felt my body tense up and a wave of ecstasy rushed over me. "Let me hear you." He ordered.

I heard a gripping, cry out. It shook my whole body. Was that me?

"Holy shit, holy shit." Tobias cried out, coming undone inside of my body.

Exploding all over myself, I shut my eyes as my come spurted all over my stomach, neck, and face.

Holy shit is right.

I felt like I was watching myself from outside of my body and it was incredible.

My soul felt like it floated up to the top of the room, waved hello, and came back down to my body again.

Tobias kept thrusting in me until he was sure I was empty. Which I was. Tobias leaned down over me, licking up my entire body, cleaning me off with his tongue. I hummed as he slowly licked from the base of my neck, all the way to my lips.

He pulled me back up by my waist, and I immediately felt the need to curl my body around him. Nuzzling my face into his neck, he breathed with me until I settled down.

I didn't even realize I was sobbing until now.

"You're okay, baby. Everything will be okay." He repeated soft reassuring words to me in my ear.

A crashing sense of dread washed over me.

"He's gone." I cried.

"I know. I know." Tobias cried with me, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

We stayed like that for a while. It took some time before Tobias walked me through the bathroom and got me into the shower.

I wiped my hair back off my face as the warm water covered my body. Tobias came up behind me, lathering soap all over my body.

I bit my lip, looking back at him from over my shoulder.

"I love you so much. Thank you...for everything." I smiled softly.

"I love you so much, too. Always." He smiled back.