Don't expect this to be a 'dear diary'-diary. This is my suicide diary. Not suicide note, a diary. This diary will help people understand the reason of my death. So, here it goes.

It all started with the dreams. Dreams in which I kill myself. Some were uncreative, like slitting my wrist or jumping off a cliff. Other's were a bit creepier. Like who the fuck tries to kill themselves by ramming a sharp pencil into their artery? Probably not that many people. I have these dreams every night, sometimes the same ones over and over again, sometimes new ones. After about a month of having these, the voices came. Voices only I heard, voices that accompanied me every single day. They were like 'Hi, how are you, we came to ruin your day again, sounds good?'. Saying that I am not good enough, ugly, fat, disgusting, etc. And the worst part was: they were right. I was ugly, fat disgusting, etc. Slowly, I began to do what they were telling me. Starved myself, cut myself, exercised until I passed out, studied until I fell asleep at my desk. I was thankful to the voices, they were just trying to make me a better person, which wasn't that easy, given that it was me they were dealing with. You would ask yourself why I was depressed. I had the perfect life. Supporting parents, a protective and kind big brother and great friends. You just don't understand, right? Well don't worry, neither do I. I guess it was the voices, the dreams and myself that drove me to this. Now let me guess, your next question is why I named it a suicide diary. The simple explanation is that it's too long to be a note. It'll probably fill half of this book. But I'm getting off topic here. As I already said (or wrote) I began to starve, cut, overwork myself. I hid it from the world quite well, I always wore baggy clothes, long sleeved shirts and implied make up over the rings under my eyes. I acted like nothing was happening and it kinda worked. Nobody was noticing anything. Should I really be proud of this? I don't think so. It probably just shows that the voices are right. Nobody cares about me.

Hi~

I'm back with a new story!

I seriously don't know what I was thinking while writing this, but I hope you like it!

Sorry if I made any grammatical errors, I'm hungarian.

Anyways, enjoy <3