I twisted the knob and pulled at the door just as someone from the other side slammed it open.

I side stepped to avoid collision with the bright blonde haired boy bounding out the door in a rush. After a moment, to make sure that no one was chasing after him, I made an entrance, scanning the room before mildly asking, "I'm guessing he didn't take the news too well?"

A somber silence followed before an older looking frog spoke. "He really loved our Jiriyah boy, he did."

After a moment, I cleared my throat, breaking the silence; I hadn't been summoned for reminiscing or grieving, after all. I could feel Kakashi giving me a pointed look and mentally gave him the middle finger before looking specifically at Tsunade for my instructions.

"I was summoned," I stated, to move things along faster.

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Yes. The Sannin-- Lord Jiraiya-- has fallen. He was investigating extremely important and sensitive material. Before he fell, he left us one last message. We believe the information decoded could be vital to our success in the fight against the akatsuki."

"And you brought me here to decode the message." I stated.

"With a team of intelligence shinobi, headed by Shikamaru, yes." Tsunade replied. "Meet him at code deciphering headquarters to see what he wants you to do."

"Roger that," I said, and spun on my heel to walk out the door. Once I was outside, I turned around expectantly, just knowing that Kakashi wouldn't be able to resist a lecture."What is it, Kakashi?"

"I asked you to be understanding, and you agreed. Can you not empathize with other people? Or at least pretend to?" Kakashi asked, clearly irritated.

I didn't respond. I didn't need to explain to him that I really did not care that Jirayah was dead. Sure, it was a loss to the village, but personally? Personally, I didn't really give a shit. I had been given my orders, and I would complete them.

"Imagine," Kakashi said hesitantly, something akin to hope in his eye, "imagine if it were Aisa."

That got my attention. Of course it did; if anyone threatened my team and followed through on said threat; I would look bad.

I turned to him, eyes wide, and slowly uttered, "What?" My tone should have been enough to stop him from pursuing this line of confrontation, but he seemed to be ignoring the message.

"Imagine if Aisa died," Kakashi pressed on, voice still hesitant but growing stronger. "How would you feel? Naruto has every right to mourn."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't let Aisa die. His death would just be too troublesome."

Kakashi's eye narrowed at that. "You wouldn't let Aisa die?" He repeated slowly.

"I know you're getting old for a shinobi, Kakashi, but c'mon, your hearing is just fine," I snapped back.

"If you had to choose," Kakashi continued slowly, ignoring my jibe, "Between Aisa and Kento, or Aisa and Michiko, who would you choose?"

"I assume you mean the one I won't choose will die?" I questioned. Kakashi nodded. "Well, I would save them both. But," I added when he opened his mouth to argue, "If I truly had to choose, of course I would choose Aisa."

I said it without hesitation, without guilt, without a second of indecisiveness; just as I had been taught.

"And you don't feel as though there's any favoritism going on here on this team? No... conflict of interest?" Kakashi challenged.

"Kakashi," I replied quietly, "You presented me with two choices. Aisa or one of his teammates. I chose Aisa." Kakashi went to speak, but I cut him off. "If you're trying to make me feel guilty, Kakashi, know this: I've done worse things than saving a life."

"Even at the expense of another?"

"Isn't it always?" I answered tiredly. "And besides, what does this have to do with my lack of grief for someone I never even knew?"

"My point is, if you ever had to make those decisions, ever had to lose someone you cared for—that's how Naruto and Tsunade feel right now. Imagine if you were to lose me—your sensei—"

I gave him a look and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Cashile. Just have some empathy. At least pretend to be sympathetic. Okay?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "As eventful as my morning has been, I have three wide eyed genin to teach and an academy class I need to lecture, courtesy of Tsunade," I grumbled. "Naruto isn't my responsibility."

"Right," Kakashi's shoulders slumped slightly into his normally apathetic stance. "But making the most out of Jiraiya's sacrifice is. So go help Shikamaru like Tsunade ordered."

"Yes, sir," I snarked, adding a flippant salute before flickering away.

Kakashi's sigh rang like music in my ears.

***

Shikamaru handed me a scrap of paper when I appeared.

I took it, glancing at the mussed hair of the severely blushing analyst before looking back toward Shikamaru, eyebrows raised. He sighed and shook his head. "What do you make of it?" He nodded toward the paper.

I scanned through it quickly, turning it in several directions. "Looks like you'd need the cipher to break it. If the message was longer I could go about breaking it myself through trial and error, but with this short of a message... not to mention it would take me a long time to figure out what he might use as a code..."

Shikamaru sighed and nodded. "Yeah," he nodded, taking the photograph back from me. "I'll start asking if anyone close to him recognizes something from the code."

"Sounds good. You might as well start trying the most common books out as ciphers. Yknow, tourist books, bingo book, etcetera." I stretched. "Hey, Shikamaru, what would you teach a class full of academy wannabes?"

He turned back to me slowly, hands in his pockets and eyebrow raised. "Who the hell would put you in front of a class full of children?" He asked.

A smirk crossed my face, and a look of mild alarm passed over Shikamaru's. "Whatever you end up doing—" he began.

I flickered away, barely catching his last few words.

"Leave my name out of it!"

***

I knocked on the door and looked at Iruka. He was expecting me today.

He made eye contact and continued to address the class. "We have a special guest today class," he announced. "A jonin sensei has agreed to share some of her... expertise with us."

I took that as my queue and walked into the classroom, hands in pocket. I looked around at the bright and innocent faces, not tainted with the darkness of the shinobi life--yet.

I didn't bother to introduce myself. With any luck, I'd never see any of these idiots again.

"Here's a question for you all. What would you do if you saw a Jonin from another village infiltrating Konoha?"

There were many murmers among the class--girls gossiping, boys goofing around. There were a few shouts "Fight them!" And a couple snickers here and there.

I placed a hand on my hip and waited a couple seconds before rolling my eyes at their idiocy. I should have gone with my earlier tactic of just scaring the shit out of them.

"You run," a quiet voice said. The voice belonged to a sandy haired boy with large ears, not too popular from the looks of it.  He was smart, but he would only go so far without friends, without people to manipulate.

"Continue." my prodding was the only approval he would get for being slightly correct.

"Well... we aren't even genin. What could we do against an intruder? A jonin moreover. I would run and tell the hokage. He's the best ninja in the village, right?

I cleared my throat before answering. By now most of the class had quieted down with only a few children in the back whispering or sleeping. "She, and I wouldn't say the best. But very skilled yes. Most of that is correct, however. You alert the first ninja you see, got it you dimwits? At this stage of learning you're practically useless. Alert someone who can do something about it. Capiche?"

They responded with silence.

Iruka laughed nervously. "What she's trying to say is that you all have  lot to learn, and sometimes the most obvious solution--to fight an enemy head on--isn't the best solution. Okay, thank you, Kuroki. We appreciate your time today..."

"No questions?" A young girl piped up from the back of the room.

Iruka paled. I smirked.

"Qu-Questions!" Iruka stuttered. "Right! Of course, we don't want to keep Kuroki too long, and we do have our own lesson plans to complete, so let's keep it to about three questions, alright?"

Hands immediately shot into the air despite the earlier apparent indifference. I pointed in a random direction and let the children decide who it was I was choosing.

"Have you ever killed someone?" An obnoxiously loud kid asked. What a predictable, thoughtless question.

"Yup," I answered flippantly. "Next question." I pointed toward a different corner.

"When did you first kill someone?"

"When I was thirteen." I bared my teeth in the approximation of a grin. The ten and eleven year old children went quiet. I pointed once more.

"Do you regret it?" The sandy haired boy asked quietly. I regarded him for a moment. He was hoping that I did regret it, because he regretted hurting people. He wanted to know that he could be a shinobi despite this weakness, this softness that resided in him.

"There are paths other than what most take to serve Konoha as a ninja. Think about being a medic nin, or a code breaker," I told him dispassionately.

"I don't regret it for a moment."

***

I nearly crashed into Naruto in my hurry to leave the Academy building.

He looked up, met my eyes, then looked back toward the Academy. I raised an eyebrow. "Problem?" I challenged, just waiting for his usual mindless blather to come pouring out.

Naruto opened his mouth as if to answer, then closed it, shaking his head. Hands in pockets and shoulders slumped, he slowly plodded around me.

"Naruto?" I called after him. He ground to a halt after a few more steps, then pivoted, still not saying anything. "Shikamaru might be looking for you in a bit. About the code."

He nodded. I watched him for a bit, wondering at how he could act the way he did. I would have thought Jiraiya's death would push him harder than ever to avenge his sensei, but instead Naruto was depressed into inaction. With a shrug of my shoulders I turned away.

"You know," Naruto muttered awkwardly, voice quiet and depressed. I turned back to him. "I never really said it before, but... Congratulations on becoming a sensei. That's pretty cool."

I blinked. I hadn't actually thought of that. In fact, I didn't remember anyone congratulating me over it. Was becoming the sensei of a couple idiotic brats worth congratulations? Naruto was watching me expectantly, and I realized that he expected a response. "Uh... thanks?"

He mindlessly turned away without a second thought and I stood there, observing.

"Naruto," I called out again. He didn't turn, he just stopped in his step. I thought about what Kakashi said, and despite not actually caring for Naruto, it might do me some good to follow his advice-- and put myself in a good spotlight. It took nothing from me but pretending.

"We'll get those sons of bitches," I told him. He was still turned away, so I didn't bother to smile or look even vaguely sympathetic, barely refraining myself from rolling my eyes at his back. He didn't acknowledge me, so I repeated myself one more time, slightly louder. "We'll get them."

He gave a short nod before continuing his shambling walk. I have a short sigh and turned, walking in the opposite direction.

I would never be able to understand Naruto.

_________________________________

Hey guys!

Sorry we didn't get out a Christmas or New Years update :( Supes is in Germany right now so it just kinda messed with writing :/

But we got this out to you!

We have a new story called Update Updates that will keep you updated on when we're gonna update, so check that out!

Also guess who got all As! That is if you count A-s as As too.... whatever, so long as I get the gpa needed to keep my scholarship I'll be happy.

(Heh guess what I got an A+ in a class where the grade all depended on one paper and I didn't read one of the books and skimmed through the other and wrote it all the night before. Procrastination ftw!)

Please comment for inspiration so we can get a couple more chapters out before break ends!

Comment comment comment!

gaara119

Hey guys! Inspiration would be nice right now haaha. Germany is cool, hope you like the chapter!

Comment!

-S
Comment, Vote, and Fan!

Ja ne!

Insomniac_Lullabies