Artemis Fowl: You taught yourself Gnommish just to translate the messages at the bottom of the page, and now you force your friends to learn it just so you can tell them acorn tulip dot plus-sign-with-circles triangle-with-circles raindrop squiggly-line leaf arrow (I'm bored.).

The Dark is Rising: You want to learn Welsh and be albino and have a dog named Cafall so you can be like Bran Davies.

Percy Jackson: You beg your parents to take you to New York City so you can find out if there really is Mount Olympus on the 600th floor of the Empire State Building.