Next thing I know, I'm in a red dress being kidnapped by Finn, Jake, and Simon. Thanks guys. Apparently Simon was the grand mastermind and kept going on about how I was a princess. Well, that makes sense, at least. Just look at the first sentence.

Okay, so they put me on a boat. Yay. And though we were clearly being followed, Simon didn't seem to believe it. Dude, what's that then? And for that matter- your sails are so obvious. Then we climbed up the Unclimbable Cliff, (why is it inconcievable if you did it?) and I was blindfolded and carried away. So annoying. I almost jumped overboard to the killer eels at one point, I was so annoyed. At least I'd get a quick death, and I could try to swim to that boat.

Simon just kept saying "inconcievable!" Dude needs a new catchphrase. After Mr. Mask (gee- who could that be?) beat Jake, Simon started jumping up and down, yelling, "Inconcievable! Inconcievable! INCONCIEVABLE!!" Of course, I had my blindfold off to watch, and no one had gagged me in the first place, and I said, "Well, it happened, so stop saying inconcievable, and for the love of Glob, stop blindfolding me. What's the point?!" Was he afraid I'd just get up and walk away with my hands tied behind my back? Actually...

"I... don't actually know." Simon admitted.

I groaned. "Of course. Hey- here's an idea. Why don't you just give me to that guy, who is probably going to do Glob knows what to me. After all- you wanted to kill me, he'll probably just take me somewhere else. You don't even know what he wants with me."

Simon glared at me. "Look- the prince paid me to kill you, I gotta kill you."

"Wow. Specific." I said. Mask Guy was soon there. I freed my hands and waved. "Hi."

He stared at me like why are you just sitting there?! Then he looked at Simon, who was doing absolutely nothing. 

"So...?" Mask Guy said. And guess who- Marshall took off the stupid mask.

"Just take her. You beat my Spaniard-" Simon said.

"Finn's Spanish?" I asked.

"-And my giant, and basically all I have left is my wits." Simon finished.

"I could just run away from you." I pointed out.

"And that." Simon agreed.

"So... bye Simon." I said, grabbing Marshall's hand and walking away.

"My name's Vizzini!" He fumed, before storming off. Marshall and I cracked up as soon as he was gone.

"So how'd you find me?" I asked, as soon as we got in the shade.

"Well, I find myself on a ship, and then I see another ship and I had nothing else to do that I know of, so I just followed you guys. And then I saw they had you, and you were being extremely nonchalant for being kidnapped. Tell me- is it that much of an everyday occurence?"

"No way. I was just being kidnapped by Finn, Jake, and Simon. Simon kept saying I was a princess, so I guess that was why."

"And?"

"It's Finn and Jake. They are not a threat to anyone except 'evildoers'- which we definitely aren't."

Suddenly, we heard a hunting horn. "For some reason, I feel like saying, 'Ah! Your pig fiancé is too late!'" Marshall admitted.

I shot him a look, then grabbed his hand again and ran. Suddenly, we headed into one of the only tree places around. Why do I get the feeling it's called the Fire Swamo?

 For some reason, Gumball didn't try to follow us in. "Why does everyone want to kill me? Lee, Gumball, next it'll be Flame Prince." I muttered. Suddenly, there was a sort of drum roll and a column of fire appeared in front of me.

"Maybe Hothead's more powerful than I thought. Or maybe he's already trying to kill you." Marshall mused.

"I don't doubt it." I muttered.

"So... are we supposed to play any characters...?" I asked.

We heard the noise again, and Marshall put his hands around my waist, picked me up, and moved me. "Thanks." I said.

"No problem. And as for characters, I have this urge to call you Buttercup."

"And you Wesley. For some reason, I remember you... dying? I don't know. Someone told my character your character died in this movie."

"Nice people here. Even I have this whole pirate thing going on- hence the outfit."

"Hey, I hate wearing dresses. You got the good deal out of this." I said, before we got zapped again. Oh good. Marshall was next to me, I had a laser gun, and a dress was nowhere in sight. Yes! This is awesome! And then I saw the alien. I looked back to Marshall. "We messed up the plot, didn't we?"

"Well, we're sure as heck not going to die in here." He said, aiming his laser gun at the alien. I followed his lead, and we fired.

Then Laurence came running by, flailing his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs, "I'M GOING TO DIE! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! WAAAAAAA!!!" Yeesh. I got up off the floor and slapped him. "Pull yourself together. And I thought you were being chased around by Darth Vader, not chasing the alien!"

Marshall chuckled softly. "This was just too easy."

"No no no no! I wasn't chasing it- there's another chasing me!" Laurence said.

"You can shoot green fire out of your hands!" We pointed out, before diving back into position.

Laurence went on with his running and screaming, but just before we fired, we were zapped again. Why?! It was awesome! And this... this is going to be awful. Again with a dress, but this time, Olivia was here too, looking just as disgruntled as I was. No idea where Marshall was. Then she beamed at me. "Thank God- you're Elizabeth Bennet! I'm Mrs. Bennet. Bwa ha ha ha! I get to bug everybody!"  She rubbed her hands together and grinned.

"Um... what?"

"Pride and Prejudice. Actually... no. We might be in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. That would be awesome, and you could run around with a sword and no one would care. And you'd get to kill a lot of zombies by taking off their heads. And... actually... no, it's not. Go talk to Charlotte Lucas or whatever, I'll talk for hours about how you shouldn't be doing that. Bye Bubbles."

And just like that, I was pushed out of the house and was as annoyed as possible. Hey, it's cloudy. Maybe it's going to rain. But then Olivia came out and pulled me back in. Um... what was the point...? "Right, sorry. You're Elizabeth Bennet, and you have to marry Mr. Collins."

"I don't want to."

"Oh good. You've seen the movie. But as your mother, you have to freaking marry this guy."

"Uh, no. And where's Marshall?"

"He's Mr. Darcy. He's not in this part. By the way, your father is going to completely undermine me. So you don't have to marry him."

Suddenly, Bubblegum came in, and said, "Elizabeth! The militia are back!" That's nice. I care because...?

Olivia grinned. " Hey, maybe you can all have your own military brats!" Bubblegum and I gave her a look like, what the heck...?

Then Bubblegum ran to the window and gasped. "That's Mr. Bingley's coach!"

Olivia grinned. "Indeed. Y'know, Jane, you should try as hard to marry that guy as possible. And really be emotive. Just don't make it so freaking clear, or you'll look so desperate."  Bubblegum gave her a weird look and ran outside, where some guy I'd never seen before came out of the carriage and talked to her. Marshall followed him, and made a beeline for the house.

I met him at the door. "Thank Glob you're here!"

"Elizabeth, have you become agreeable towards Mr. Darcy?" Bubblegum asked me.

"Yeah, sure. C'mon, Marshall. As far as I'm concerned, we're the only sane people here."

"Hey!" Olivia said.

"As evidenced by Olivia being here too." I muttered.

Bubblegum went off somewhere with random guy, and Olivia frowned at us.

"You," here she pointed at Marshall, "ruined the plot by coming here. You," here she pointed to me. "ruined the plot by actually liking him. Congrats- you've both ruined Pride and Prejudice. That's actually pretty cool. Unfortunately... yeah, that pretty much covers it."

Laurence came running in again still screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Laurence, what the bloody hell are you doing?!" Olivia asked.

"I'm fleeing from Bela Lugosi!" He replied.

Olivia facepalmed herself. "1, why do you think the original Count Dracula isn't following you?! He's not here! 2, you look like an idiot, 3, this is Pride and Prejudice. There was a version with zombies, but there are no vampires in Pride and Prejudice."

Marshall cleared his throat, and Olivia looked at him. "Do I count?" He asked.

Olivia frowned thoughtfully. "Eh... Mr. Darcy as a vampire... why do I have a feeling Stephanie Meyer had something to do with that idea?"

"Don't. Say. Her. Name." Laurence said.

"You'll put us all in-" Zapped again. "...Twilight." I sighed.

Laurence glared at Olivia. Guess they came too. "Thanks, Olivia."

"No, it's Rosalie now."

"Yeah, and I'm Jasper freaking Cullen. No. Olivia, come here."

"No. I have a feeling you're madder than when I got you excommunicated."

"You set fire to our priest, the bishop, and then when we went to Rome to beg favor to make sure you could step foot in a church, you set the freaking Pope on fire, and blamed me! I was furious!"

"As interesting as that is, we have to  get out of here before we turn all emo and weird." I said, fairly annoyed.

"And in about five minutes, I'm going to freaking sparkle." Marshall agreed.

"What part are we at?" Olivia asked.

"Ah... we're playing baseball." Marshall said, grinning.

I grinned as well. "Let's play."

"You two are going to mess up Twilight too?" Olivia said, grinning just as much as us.

"Oh God... why are you dragging me into this?!" Laurence moaned.

"Hey Jasper! You're at bat!" Marceline yelled. Laurence got a really big grin then.

"That's my sister, man." Marshall growled.

"Well technically..." Laurence said.

"No. My real sister." Marshall said.

"Edward, stop distracting Jasper! He's at bat!" Marceline yelled.

I sighed, and walked over to the base. "Bat please."

"Bella- you can play?" Simon asked me.

I glared at him, and hit a home run. "You tell me." I said.

Betty stifled a laugh. And then the 'evil' vampires showed up.

"We heard you playing." Wait a second... Kíla? What the heck is Kíla doing here?

"Hey guys, think we can fit in three more players?" I asked, looking at the 'Cullens'.

"Sure. Any of you can throw a curveball?" Marshall asked, grinning.

"I can." Kíla said. She had two strangers with her- both of them with dark hair, one with ocean-blue eyes and the other with green eyes.

The one with blue eyes sniffed the air. "You brought a snack."

"Yeah, we did. I get hungry after my workout. Want an apple? I brought extras." I said.

"C'mon, James. We already ate." Other guy said.

"If she's offering us a snack, then we should take it. Just to be polite." Kíla said, smiling evilly.

"I'm sorry- you just look like a friend of mine. Except she's not trying to suck my blood." I said sarcastically.

"Oh my Glob... Kíla's going to die." Marshall muttered.

"My name's Victoria." Kíla snapped.

"What. The-" Someone said behind us. Oh look, another Kíla, this one with a Siofra.

"Why are Gabhran and Ewan here?" Second Kíla sighed.

"I don't know. Why are you in Twilight, by the way?" I asked.

"We're here to get you four out, or you'll just be put through all the movies that stupid TV can think of. Other Kíla, her future ex-husband and her future husband are here because... I don't know." Siofra said. Victoria licked her lips. "More humans?"

Siofra frowned. "What's with you vampires? How many times do I have to say I'm half- faerie? And anyway, stop trying to eat us. It's so annoying. It's worse than that freaking T-Rex I had to deal with 65 million years ago. And anyway, try to drink our blood. Just... try. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to enjoy staking you, Kíla."

Kíla crossed her arms. "Gee, thanks, Siofra."

"Not you. Victoria. She's going to be even more fun to stake than Vik... oh cac... Kíla, remember Viktoria?"

"Yes...? She's right in front of us."

"No. Dracula's number 1. Viktoria- spelled with a k, not c. Basically, it's staking that soith again. Except she's a redhead."

Kíla nodded, and said, "Okay... by the way, we're not in Twilight anymore." We looked around. Marceline, Simon, Betty, Victoria, Sammy (I don't know why he was there. Really.), Gabhran and Ewan were gone. Yes! Twilight was done. We were out of that sparkly nightmare!

I was so happy I was out of Twilight, I kissed Marshall. No reason but that. And... yeah. You guys know why. When I pulled away, he grinned at me and kissed me. Yes! I ruined Pirde and Prejudice, shot an alien, basically saved myself in the Princess Bride, and helped mess up Twilight. And now this. Best. Hour. Ever.

--------------------------

Siofra swears in Irish. That's how I keep my rating from going PG-13 again.

Random guy- Pendleton Ward will probably create him one day. I checked out the episode 'The Suitor' on the Adventure Time Wiki, (because I saw the preview for it on YouTube, but not the actual episode) and that led nowhere. PB still doesn't have a boyfriend to be the Bingley to her Jane Bennet.

(Marceline couldn't do it because then there would be some weird thing with Darcy and Jane being related, and therefore Darcy and Elizabeth being related and then we hit incest. Cake couldn't do it because Marshall's relationship with Lord Monichromicorn is probably... strained, at best.)