Okay, so after we finally got the penguin blood (why wouldn't one of Betty's penguins have worked?), we just went to sleep. I managed to fall asleep on Marceline's couch, that's how tired I was. Marshall just fell asleep while flying. Thankfully, he was hovering over some beanbags.

Sometime in the night I rolled over and hit something sharp. I awoke to see two red eyes looking right at me. My arm had a deep scratch on it. "Lee... it's late. We all need our sleep, especially Marshall and I." I sighed.

He grinned maniacally. "You're right, Fi. Marshall does need his sleep. And I have the perfect idea on how everyone can be happy. You, me, everyone."

I pulled my legs up to my chest, suddenly wide awake. "What do you mean, Lee?"

He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head up so I was looking him in the eye. "Everyone's going to be happy. Except Marshall." Lee repeated. And then he was gone. I ran out of the house to see him head towards... Siofra's house? What was he doing?! Since it was quite a ways off, and I couldn't fly, Lee got there long before me.

So by the time I got there, there was a Marshall, and there was a Lee. Seperate bodies. Siofra pulled me in the door before I even got to knock. "Oh good, you're here."

"Why...? What...? Just... why?" I asked, seeing the Clones.

"Don't ask me, Fi." One of them said. I'd assume that was Marshall, but...

"Why not? You're the one who got us into this mess!" The other clone said.

"Did you just copy Marshall's personality?" I asked Siofra, feeling more hopeful.

"No way. One of them is definitely the homicidal maniac." She said. Neither of the Marshalls glared at her.

"Then why is Lee acting like Marshall?" I asked.

"That's what I want to know!" One of them agreed.

"You impostor." The other growled.

"You tell me." Kíla told me.

"Kíla- people will do anything for love." Siofra said.

"Like?"

"Example one- when your mother was kidnapped, your father fought for her. Example two- one of these guys is pretending to be the other guy. For reasons that I can't tell, but I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say it was for love."

"Yeah. But she's mine." One of the clones said before the other one glared at him.

Siofra sighed. "Okay, next time I here someone say that, we're going to the 23rd century. Women are completely in control for 50 years, the Earth in the most peace it's ever been, chauvinism is a crime like loitering, only more heavily enforced, the economy was better than ever, and there's a new age of enlightenment. It was awesome. The only time the world came close to war, was when Madame President USA insulted Madame President Uganda by accident. She felt slighted, but only for five seconds, because it was actually a backhanded compliment."

Kíla sighed wistfully. "All the styles. Even you'd like shopping there, Fionna."

"Um..."

"Fi's a tomboy." One of the Clones explained.

"She just said that, Lee." The other argued.

"Why are you calling me Lee?! I'm the real Marshall!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!" Unbeknowst to the clones, Kíla had walked over to a panel. A clip from Toy Story 2 popped up holographically- but only the fight between the two Buzzes (the second one, not when Buzz was strapped down). The Clones even stopped fighting to watch.

"Anyway, Toy Story 2, how're we going to show whose who?" Siofra asked us. When no one answered, she said, "Well, we look for traits that show whose who, like freaking out when your helmet's off. And we rip off Once Upon A Time, which may or may not work. Whatever, it's still the most realistic of those tales. Disney dúr...!"

"What about The Ancient Book?" Kíla asked.

"It's dark magic. It means business- it is unpredictable and always takes something. Hopefully, it'll just take Naida's voice. All that really happened? I gave her a bad cold and got a copy of her voice. Not my fault she wouldn't talk to Felipe. Her voice wasn't even that nice- she forced me to take it in exchange. Didn't want to owe me. The only princess' voice I would like is Jahzara Phoenix... ahem. And I'd do the exact same thing. Give her a bad cold and make a copy of her voice before it."

"But as a last resort?" Kíla pressed. "There's an identification spell in there."

"...Fine. As a last resort." Siofra agreed. Then she took two hairs from my head, and one from each of the clones. She placed them at opposite ends of the table, and put one of my hairs at each end. Nothing happened. Siofra squinted at the hairs. "Kíla...?"

"I don't think... Siofra, what's happening?"

Siofra sighed. "So much easier when only one of them is truly in love with her. Obviously, she's truly in love with one of them, but only Shea knows what the colors really mean..."

"Well, she is the Fairy Queen... what color are they usually?" Kíla asked.

"Blue. Those aren't true loves though. Clone on the left is purple, Clone on the right is green." Siofra said, biting a nail.

Kíla frowned. "Okay... we'll leave that for now... are there any physical differences between Marshall and Lee, Fionna?"

"I think... Lee has slightly longer fangs because he's part of a bloodlust instinct. Hence, whenever I bleed, Lee appears." I answered.

Siofra bit another nail. "Kíla, get the ruler."

Clone on the Left had fangs that were exactly 3 inches... and so did Clone on the Right.

Siofra let out a low whistle. "Lee is dedicated. Over half the stuff we said was insulting towards him. Did he break character once? No."

Kíla had gotten a big, dusty book. "Are we sure neither of them were phoning it in?"

"Well... can vampires retract their fangs? At all?" I asked.

"Not as far as I know." Clone on the Left said.

"No." Clone on the Right said at the same time.

"Me thinks thou doth protest too much." Kíla grinned.

"Shakespeare? Really?" Siofra said.

"Okay... so have we reached the point...?" Clone on the Left said.

"But... she can't choose you." Clone on the Right said.

"Why?" Clone on the Left asked smugly.

"Because I'm the Real Marshall." Right said hotly.

"No, I'm the Real Marshall!" Left said.

"Shut it!" Siofra yelled, before she opened the book and said,

"Inis do an ceann seo ó sin,

deartháireacha, cúpla,

dhá go raibh ceann amháin go raibh dhá,

Ach ainmneacha thuas a gceann ar feadh cúpla nóiméad."

Kíla took the book from her and said, "Segðu þetta eitt af því,

bræður, tvíburar,

tvær sem voru eitt sem voru tveir,

Aðeins nöfn yfir höfðum þeirra í nokkrar mínútur."

Together, they both said, "Dywedwch hwn o hynny,

brodyr, efeilliaid,

dau a oedd yn un a oedd yn ddau,

Dim ond yr enwau uwch eu pennau am ychydig funudau."

Siofra snapped the book shut, and explained. "The book requires the languages of our fathers, and the language of the Fairies- the language of the Council is Welsh. Clones, if Fionna dies, it's on your heads. Okay, what's gone?"

Clone on the Right had the word 'Marshall Lee Abadeer' over his head, and Clone on the Left simply had the word 'Lee'.

"Told you." Marshall said smugly.

"Oh good. You can still talk." Siofra said.

Everyone looked at me. "I'm fine, thanks." I said.

"She sounds normal and looks normal... I don't get it." Kíla said.

"Yeah... weird. Oh, wait, spoke too soon." Siofra agreed.

My hat had disappeared. "That's it?" I asked.

"Did you have anything important in there?" Siofra asked me.

"Um... my hair... which is now all over the place..." Glob damn it! I feel like freaking Rapunzel. What they never showed you was how she tripped over her hair every other minute, and how she got tangled up in it. I kid you not- I once tied myself up in it by accident.

Siofra let out a low whistle. "You have really long hair."

"Longest I've ever seen." Kíla agreed.

"Girls." Marshall groaned. Kíla glared at him and sent a spell towards him- next thing I know, his mouth was shut and wouldn't open. "It'll end once you leave the cottage." Kíla told me, shooting another look at Marshall.

Siofra snapped her fingers. As if it was a soldier, my hair suddenly went flying all over the place.

"What're you-?" I asked, before it muffled my voice.

"I'm putting your hair up. The forces of the book are trying to trip somebody, and I'd rather it wasn't me. They do what you want, then they get all childish in their revenge. Mostly kleptomaniacs though." Siofra answered.

My hair was soon all braided up and at least a foot of the ground. Kíla looked at Siofra. "Another thing not to tell Disney?"

Siofra nodded. "They'd sue us for copyright. At least I'm not crazy enough to tie up the homicidal maniac in her hair. Speaking of which..." She snapped her fingers again, and Lee was soon bound and gagged.

"Okay, what do we do with him?" She asked.

"Antartica, in the 1700's?" Kíla said brightly.

"No- the English or the Norwegians will find him later, and that is a really cruel death for a vampire, what with the place being so bright that everyone has to wear goggles. If we're going to kill him, we have to at least stake him. It's fast, and painless." Siofra answered.

"Can we not... kill him?" I asked. Everyone looked at me. "It's just that... he looks exactly like Marshall. So... yeah. I'd rather not see Marshall die, if no one minds." I continued.

"Fair enough." Siofra agreed.

"I can't believe I'm suggesting this- but drop him off with Drac?" Kíla asked.

"Mm. I can keep you from killing him... but then we'd be letting two vampires loose on London later, and remember what we thought when we saw Fionna here?" Siofra asked.

"That she looked just like... oh. I see. That would triple the awkward levels if Lee went after Mina too." Kíla agreed.

"Jurassic age?" Siofra suggested.

"Remember what Fionna just said? Our best bet is with Dracula. But Fionna, if he terrorizes London at all, goes after Mina and/or Jonathan Harker, or gets in our way at all when we go after Dracula, we can't promise we won't stake him."

"...Fair enough. At least I won't have to see." I admitted.

"By the way, at least we won't whack him on the head with a rosary." Siofra said to me.

Kíla smiled wistfully. "That was fun. But that ship sailed when I told William the Second I made a deal with the devil. I didn't, of course, but it was still fun to say."

Siofra shrugged. "Anyway, you two have to leave now, so we can go drop him off with Count Dracula."

The cottage disappeared as soon as Marshall got his voice back. "Should we have told them the garlic doesn't matter?" I asked.

"Nah. They probably already know." He answered.

"You okay?" I asked him, a little worried.

"Of course I am. I can open my mouth again, I'm not being sent off to Count Dracula, and my evil other personality is gone forever." He said, smiling.

I grinned. "And we finished all our work here."

Marshall nodded. "No more of the weirdness of Ooo, no more sleeping in Marceline's house, no more being mixed up in Olivia's video game."

"Aw. Wesley, Buttercup, I thought you liked messing up Twilight." She said, appearing suddenly around a bend.

"Have you been stalking us?" I asked warily.

Olivia shot me a look. "No. I have better things to do than stalk a couple of teenagers, out doing God knows what at night. No, I'm stalking Laurence. Duh. I think he has a girlfriend, which is weird, because he's only been fleshy for a few days."

"So...?" I asked, waving in my hand in a where are you going with this? movement.

"So, someone must have been dating him as the Lich, Marian Ravenwood. Indiana Jones, back me up on this." Marshall just shot her an odd look.

"Okay, you're no help. Basically, I want to find out who in their right mind... wait. Awkward thought."

If Olivia finds it awkward, it's as awkward as yesterday morning. Or was it the day before yesterday...? I don't know what time it is- all I know about the current time is that it's dark out.

"Do we want to know...?" Marshall asked.

"No, probably not. It's really just a stupid thought. It doesn't even make any sense... your sister's sane, right, Romeo?"

"Um... you do know I feel like saying no just because she's my sister, right? And don't call me that. Romeo was an idiot." Marshall said.

"Huh. You're right. I mean, who falls in love at first sight, transfers his affections to his previous affection's cousin, and then get married the day after he meets this girl?" Olivia asked.

"Juliet's fault too." I said.

"Good point, Lara Croft." Olivia agreed.

I sighed. "Fine. Movie, or video game?"

"Movie. Do you think I'm going anywhere near video games after being in Twilight because of one?"

"What about 'My Sims Agents' on the Wii?" Marshall asked.

Olivia opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. Finally, she said, "Can't find it. I hope Laurence, in his insane idiocy, didn't break it because I wasn't there to protect it."

"Why would-?" I started, before Laurence appeared. And screamed at the top of his lungs. Marshall groaned and covered his ears, and Olivia looked both interested and annoyed at the same time.

"Laurence, you idiot. It's just us. I'd say you scream like a girl, but that's an insult to my gender. I don't think Red Sonja here could scream that high. That said, how did you do it?"

"Please don't call Fi that. It was a fairly terrible movie." Marshall sighed.

For the first time I'd ever seen, Olivia looked slightly ashamed. "You're right, David from 'The Lost Boys'."

Marshall shrugged. "Not sure about that one."

"You two are discussing ancient movies at 3am?!" Laurence said.

I snapped my fingers. "Thanks! I was wondering what time it was."

Laurence stared at me. Then he pointed at each of us in turn. "Mental, mental, especially mental." Well, I agree about Olivia being especially mental.

"Well, they were heading home when I stopped them. If you ask me, one of them sleepwalks. As for me, I was trying to figure out whether you did have a girlfriend." Olivia said.

Laurence stared at her. "Okay... you are so mental, the Joker would take a look at you and say, 'She's crazy'. Second, what business of yours is it whether or not I have a... oh no."

Olivia grinned. "Oh yes. The return of the Becky Midfield plot."

"Why can't I just be happy?!"

"Aha! You do have a girlfriend!"

Marshall and I snuck off in the middle of this. It's none of my business, and I'm kind of tired. We switched positions, and went back to sleep. I don't think there is a beanbag created that can be as hard as Marceline/Marshall's couch. You'd have to make a special effort.

---------------------

Marceline needs beanbags. And Laurence needs a girlfriend. That's all I'm going to say about this chapter.