A girl says farewell, for now.

Caterina
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Alfred answered on the third ring.

I was terrified to say the least, for I knew what I had to do, and dreaded every moment of it. To break a man's heart no matter how willing, was always a heavy burden to bear. On both parties.

"Ringing me up to apologize, are you?" Alfred said in greeting.

My voice caught in my throat, suddenly ceasing my ability to form words. The thought of apologizing- properly this time- seemed almost entirely too enticing for this mess to finally be over. Almost.

After long period of silence passed Alfred spoke again, this time serious. "Hello, Rina? This you, innit?"

"Yes, Alfred yes. It's me." I managed, and I could almost hear the relieved breath that exhaled through the other line. Only I knew his relief wouldn't last very long at all.

This time, with more conviction, I cleared my throat and said, "And no, I am not calling to apologize Alfred. Not entirely, anyway."

"What you mean?"

I stood in the foyer of my home, fiddling with the lapels of my coat considering my words carefully. But if I really wanted Alfred to be the man I so desperately needed him to be, I had to make a clean break. I swallowed hard.

"What I mean to say, Alfred, is that I don't think we should see each other anymore. I think it's best that we end whatever it is we are and see other people." I said, my voice steady.

A pause.

Finally, after a brief moment of grueling silence, Alfred spoke.

"See other people? Rina, sweetheart. I know we had a fight, yeah, but that's no reason to go on blabbering about ending something here. You understand-"

"No you don't seem to be understanding me, Mr. Solomons." I cut in, ignoring the blur that had begun to arise in the edges of my vision.

The panic in his voice began to rise. "Mr. Solomons? For fucks sake, Rina."

I could see Alfred as if I were there with him, sitting alone at his massive desk anxiously grabbing at his beard and his blue eyes frantic. I bit my lip at the mental image, focusing on the physical pain rather than the emotional one that was growing steadily between my lungs.

"I'm sorry, I really am. For all that I've said and done to you that wasn't right, but I'm finished... with you. Goodbye."

I hastily slammed the phone back on its receiver, ignoring Alfred's shouts for me to listen. Tears spilled over the brim of my eyes as I no longer fought them back. What's done is done.

The emotional pain, however, seemed much more intense than I had originally perceived it for in a sudden and violent jerk, I fell to my knees, hard. I cried out as the impact vibrated within my bones, sending a shock wave throughout the rest of my body. Acting on instinct, a hand found its way to my navel and stayed there as if guarding it from harm.

My brows scrunched together despite my ragged breaths at my reaction to the fall. Could it be? No- no I wouldn't let myself even think it. Instead I wearily lifted myself off the wooden floor by gripping onto the tea table where the phone sat perched upon. As I stood there, halfway hunched over the glass table, I gathered myself together again and with a nimble finger, wiped away at the tears that still clung to my splotchy cheeks.

I shut my eyes for a moment, pushing Alfred and my irrational fear to the far inner depths of my mind, so that by the time I did open them again, there was only strength and determination.

⚜️  

When I arrived at the Shelby gambling den later that morning in Small Heath, Esme was the only soul to be found. I tried not to scowl at her even though she seemed reluctant to let me in in the first place. It seemed there was no chance for conversation after that, but I didn't mind it much. I was actually surprised at myself for being glad it was Esme and not John I found, for I wasn't much in the mood for jokes after what happened.

I unravelled the scarf at my throat as I passed the initial gambling room and entered into the private negotiation room- where the real Shelby business got done. I had yet to attend a meeting, not that I ever felt a part of the family to begin with, but at least as someone of importance in their lives. Well, Thomas's life if that.

My eyes casually swept the area, when a small card sat on one of the desks in the center of the room. Out of curiosity, and nothing more, I strolled over to it and held it up. My lips mouthed the words as I read them: A boy is dead, and Thomas Shelby's next.

But it was only when I found who sent the telegram that my hands curled around the paper, crushing it in my shaky palm.

Darby Sabini.

Hate blurred my vision and for a moment I couldn't help the murderous rage that bubbled in my stomach, fighting to break out- when the doors of the family room burst open and a familiar voice filled the room. I quickly shook myself back into a calm state and looked up to see Polly filing in, followed by Thomas. I swiftly hid the crumpled message in a fist behind my back and forced a smile.

"This had better be good to interrupt my holiday." Said Polly as she pinched the glove off her fingers.

More men, some I knew some I didn't, came waltzing in after them with taught expressions painted on their faces. They huddled around the table where I had found the telegram and waited for the Shelby boys to get on with it.

I stood silently, trying not to seem as awkward as I felt after the rage had dialed down, when Thomas motioned for me to his side with a nod. Graciously complied.

"Where's the boy?" Arthur inquired.

Polly rummaged through her purse at the table and answered her nephew without a glance in his direction.

"In the back room." She said, "I only brought him because afterwards, we're going to the museum."

With a bottle in his hand at such an ungodly hour, John cut in despite himself. "He wanted to come in and say hello-"

Polly however, was quick in reminding him exactly who he was talking to.

"Shut up, John. There is nothing of interest to Michael in this room."

A muscle feathered in John's jaw but otherwise he held his tongue, blinking away his frustration. There was no winning an argument over Michael, not against Pol.

As the whole room settled into an uncomfortable silence, I felt a hand brush against mine in reassurance. It seemed Thomas had noticed my uneasy demeanor despite everything that was unfolding before him- if only he knew why.

Polly eventually settled herself alongside the rest of the men and clasped her hands together, looking at Thomas with tired eyes.

"Tommy, get on with it." She said.

After waiting patiently for quite some time now, Thomas put out the cigarette he had been holding in one of the ashtrays and clapped his hands together.

"Last night, one of our men had his throat cut in Winson Green." He announced, "This morning, I had a telegram saying it was Sabini who ordered it."

My hand tightened around the wad of paper behind my back at the mention of that murderer's name. My mind brought me reeling back to that night in the alley, when he held a gun to my head and left Thomas nearly unrecognizable.

"And it said that Thomas was next." I blurted out, no longer able to contain myself.

Everyone's eyes met mine in the room, some wide and some furrowed. Thomas glanced back over his shoulder at me with an expression I knew all too well- he remembered it too. Polly stiffened.

"If our men think we can't look after them in prison, they'll not work for us." Thomas continued. "Sabini knows that. So we need to get the Green sorted out."

Thomas paused and motioned to a man with a gold earring on one ear and said, "Scudboat, you and one of the boys, break a couple of windows, get yourself arrested. I'll have our coppers get you into the Green and you can find the bastards who did it."

The man- Scudboat- looked around and said, "Instead of breaking a window, can we pinch a car?"

The room erupted into faint laughter, but I was too far gone in the memory of hearing Thomas gargling my name with Franco's knife in his mouth to join.

Scudboat shrugged. "What? Everyone else is getting a bloody car. I'm still on a donkey."

A bubble of laughter escaped from the men alongside him as they failed to conceal their laughter any longer. Only Thomas and Polly didn't find it amusing- and for good reason. A boy was dead.

"All right. Just get yourselves fucking arrested. It doesn't matter how. And before you all laugh, a boy is dead." Thomas said, his voice firm. The room ceased its laughter. "He was just a kid."

Thomas turned his gaze to Polly, who shut her eyes for a brief moment, probably thanking her god it wasn't her son in there.

"We'll start a fund for his family, Pol." He added.

Polly met his eyes, "Agreed. So is that it? Can I go now?"

She had already began to grab her purse when Thomas spoke.

"Well, as company treasurer, I need your permission to spend a thousand guineas."

Her head snapped up the same moment I raised my brows at him from aside. "On what?"

"A horse."

There was a pause. So this was how he planned to reach Sabini, interesting.

"A thousand guineas on a horse?" Polly repeated, clearly confused.

Thomas nodded, "That's right."

I watched- as we all did- as Polly crossed her arms and moved around the room, unsure on what to say.

"When was this decided?"

"You've been busy with Michael."

"Oh, my god." Polly sighed, looking around the room, "So in the absence of common sense, you boys have had an idea."

I failed to bite back a grin.

"Polly, there's a thoroughbred, quarter-Arab filly up for auction at the Doncaster Blood Stock." He began.

"What do we want with a thousand guinea horse?" She asked.

"When we make our move on Sabini's racing pitches, any men we get into the betting enclosure will be lifted by Sabini's police. A good racehorse is a passport to the owners enclosure." Thomas explained.

Since the meeting first began, Arthur sat up to speak.

"We'll be in there with all the toffs. The coppers won't know where to look."

John joined in as well. "The Epsom Derby, Pol. We'll be drinking with the bloody king." He joked.

"The Derby?" Polly exclaimed, "Did he say the Derby?"

No one uttered a word for a moment, that is, until Thomas cleared his throat.

"That's right." He said. "For the last ten years, Sabini's made it his race. If we're going to take him down, might as well make it there as a symbol."

Polly laughed.

"Did you come up with this idea in a pub by any chance?"

My grin only grew wider.

"Poll, a good racehorse is an investment, like property. We need to diversify the portfolio." Thomas said.

Reluctantly, Polly asked, "So when is this sale?"

"Tomorrow."

As they continued discussing the matter at hand, my attention was caught elsewhere as a slight creak could be heard if one was listening close enough. Slowly my eyes followed the noise where they met Michael's dark blue ones creeping out from behind it.

Michael's eyes widened when they met mine from across the room, but I only offered a smile. I don't think I'll ever forget our first encounter, no matter how unfortunate. Still, I held a fondness for Thomas's cousin that I could not place myself. He shot me a small grin, and with that, he pushed the door open and shyly entered the room with his hands in his coat pockets.

Polly grew frantic the moment her eyes landed on his.

"I thought I told you to lock that door." She said, looking at John.

"He did. I used the key on the nail." Said Michael, "Look. I've been listening, I want to go with them."

Smart boy, I thought, eyeing him.

"You see?" Polly exclaimed, throwing her hands up.

Michael went on, "I love horses. I could even help."

"Over my dead body."

"It'll be all right, Mum." Michael assured her, "I've been to loads of horse auctions before with my uncle. They're very respectable. People bring their butlers."

The look on Polly's face when Michael called her "Mum" was heart breaking. There was no chance she'd let him go now, not when she'd barely got him back.

Arthur took a swig of his drink and laughed. "Yeah, and their posh wives."

"And their mistresses." John added, nudging Michael.

"Let him come, Polly." Arthur said. "We'll go there, buy a horse, come back."

"I'll drop him back at the house in Sutton before it gets dark." John joined.

Polly shook her head. "No. Fucking no."

My heart hurt for Michael then, all he wanted was to feel included. As one of them.

After a long period of silence, Michael set his jaw and stormed out, angrily slamming the door behind him as he went.

Thomas cleared his throat.

"All right, that's it. Back to work. Come on."

The rest of the room began to file out, chattering as if nothing had just occurred. How I envied those men, who could kill one minute, and laugh the next.

I stayed where I was until everyone except Thomas and I were left alone in the room. The moment the last man shut the door behind himself, Thomas closed the gap between us and gathered me in his arms.

Although I wasn't expecting his exact reaction, I felt my heartbeat steady and mimic his own. For a long while we didn't speak or move, only finding comfort in each others warm embrace. And after today's events, I needed Thomas now more than ever.

With a sigh I buried my face deeper into his chest, inhaling his scent of smoke and herbs. Oh, how I missed these moments.

His hands skimmed the length of my back, until they curled around my hands that still sat at the base of my spine. I stiffened against him as Thomas pried the telegram from my grasp with a frown.

"Is this what has you so upset?" He murmured into my hair.

When I didn't answer, he pulled back and gingerly lifted my chin to meet his soft gaze. His eyes searched my face with such a fierce concern that I didn't know what was causing my pain anymore. All I knew was that he would erase it.

"Yes." I whispered, refusing to loosen my grasp on his coat lapels. "That terrible night is burned into my memory. Every time I hear his name I-" My voice cracked as a wetness threatened to spill over my eyes. So I stoped myself before I could cry, again.

A muscle feathered in Thomas's jaw and instead he tore the crumpled telegram in half, and then in fourths, until there was nothing but shreds. He let them sprinkle down before me, a hard look evident on his face.

"To hell with him, Rina. We'll get him soon enough. Eh?" He said, cupping my face in his hands.

Despite the calluses, Thomas's hands were gentle, sending a wave of shivers over me. I nodded in agreement. We'll get Sabini where it hurts, and when the time was right. Not before, not after.

"Say something, Rina." Thomas pleaded, his hot breath fanning my face.

I opened my mouth to speak, drinking in the proximity and the way Thomas always knew how to comfort me in times like these. I needed to forget Sabini's name and Alfred's face- for I saw him every time I closed my eyes. I needed to be present in my reality, and be with Thomas without limits. I needed to feel his chest over mine, his breath in my ear.

"Lock the door and put the key in your pocket, Thomas." I breathed, my voice low and soft.

His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion for a moment, before realizing the meaning behind my words. With a swift kiss to my lips Thomas released me to follow my instructions, and patted at his breast pocket once he did. Ensuring that no one would get their hands on it for the time being. I managed a small smile.

When Thomas crossed the floor to me again, there was a slight pause in his movements, as if he was unsure on how to proceed. So instead I brought my hand over his and reached up to plant a tender kiss against his mouth, igniting the flames.

Strong arms wrapped around my middle and lifted me up and onto the table, sending papers flying all around. Thomas didn't seem to care however, because he was too busy gripping at the hem of my dress and sliding its cool material up over my thighs and bunching it at my waist. My steady hands reached out and unclasped the buttons of his trousers, purposely taking my precious time.

At this, Thomas growled and nipped at my ear, moving to kiss in the space behind my ear in a way that made my knees wobble. It seemed Thomas already knew all the areas that made me moan his name.  

"Thomas." I warned, failing to sound convincing.

His trail of kisses then lowered down my neck and collar bone, until my hands raked through his hair and I couldn't take it any more than he could. His mouth met mine in an instant, the same instant I felt the familiar pressure push between my thighs in the most delicious way.

I brought one hand down to run my thumb over his bottom lip as his breath turned ragged over me. Thomas gently nipped at my thumb until his mouth was hot against mine. My name escaped his lips as he rocked himself into me, whispering those two syllables as if I were the only woman he's ever known by name.

My eyes met his, "I've wanted to hear you moan my name since the night we first met." I admitted between kisses.

His laugh vibrated through the both of us. "I'll moan your name every opportunity you give me, Rina."

He said my name with such lust that I forced myself to look away, my cheeks burning. But a hand had cupped my chin otherwise. Thomas's eyes were heavy as he brought his mouth over mine again, covering me completely. And in that shared moment, I couldn't hear Sabini's cackling laugh or feel the infinite stretch of time until Alfred would come back to me.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I know."

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[ hope all you Thomas + Rina shippers enjoyed the start of their affair as you will lol and to all you Alfie + Rina shippers, let's see if y'all can guess what I have coming for you all?? hint: there was a hint lol COMMENT BELOW (; ]