A girl talks in her sleep.

Caterina
__________

I couldn't say that I was surprised to see that by the time I had awoken, Thomas Shelby was no where to be found.

The only remnant of him staying the night was a note left on top the pillow beside me. I recognized the paper of belonging to one of my sketch pads I no doubt left lying around this mess of a room, and squinted my eyes enough in order to read Thomas's scribbling.

"My Dearest Rina,
         Forgive me for not saying goodbye, but I had prior matters to attend to regarding my brother, Arthur. I hope you'll understand.
         Yours truly,
                                  Thomas Shelby
p.s. Did you know you talk in your sleep? But do not worry love, your secrets are safe with me. xx"

The heat immediately rose to my cheeks. What on earth did I say while I was sleeping?

I tugged my lip between my teeth and considered the numerous things I could've damned myself with while I slept. I re-read the 'secret is safe with me' bit just to make myself feel better.

If there was one thing I knew about Thomas Shelby, was that his word was as good as the law. And I trusted him because of it.

With a determined huff, I ripped the covers from myself and hopped out of bed. My bare feet landed with a dull thud against the wood as my eyes scanned the area of my bedroom.

It was positively filthy.

Papers and brushes lay scattered across the floor, along with the occasional half open book here and there. I immediately got to work, picking up after myself and shoving whatever I could beneath my bed.

By the time I finished, I leaned my back against the wall and brought my forearm to my face, wiping away at any sweat. It was as clean as an artist's room would ever get, that's for sure.

After I had caught my breath, I mindlessly tied the silk waistband of my robe tighter across my middle, when I realized something awful.

I never had the chance to changed out of yesterday's clothes. Which meant someone had done it for me throughout the night.

My teeth grounded against each other at the thought, damn you Thomas Shelby.

⚜️

It was mid-day by the time I had arrived at Thomas's private office, due to the fact that I had spent the latest part of my morning finishing up the Garrison. I managed to pull through by myself and detail the golden walls with dark swirls of patterns and symbols. Not only that, but after I had discovered that Thomas had in fact removed my clothes some time throughout the night, I felt oddly inspired to paint his portrait.

At first I had planned to draw a goatee and horns on Thomas's face, but much to my frustration I managed to capture his essence beautifully. And I just couldn't find it in me to deface it. So instead, I planned to finish up the massive painting later and gift Thomas with it for his gracious help he'd lent me over these past weeks.

But of course, I was still going to give him a piece of my mind.

I didn't bother knocking before I pushed through the office doors, nor offer a greeting. I simply held my head high as I strode into Thomas's private room and towards his desk, where he sat with a smug look on his face.

Thomas cocked his head to one side and said, "good morning to you too, Rina."

"Fuck you."

The corner of his mouth curled upwards as I approached him.

"You're as charming as ever, I see." He said, motioning me to sit down.

But when I didn't, he continued. Closing his extended hand into a fist.

Thomas cleared his throat, "I'm guessing you found my letter, yeah?"

I flattened my palms onto the desk directly in front of him, and leaned in carefully.

"Oh I got your letter, Thomas." I said, "but what I don't get is why you found it upon yourself to undress me into my nightgown while unconscious."

Those blue eyes narrowed in, and despite their icy glare, I didn't falter. Not even when he stood from his chair and palmed the desk as well.

His nose was almost brushing mine when he spoke with steady calm.

"To be fair," Thomas said, "I didn't peek at you even though I wanted to. I only thought you'd be more comfortable in something more suitable for sleep."

I huffed, and shook my head.

"How charitable of you."

His eyebrow twitched but otherwise Thomas didn't say another word. He just stared back unblinkingly, breathing me in.

It was then that I realized what hid behind those blue eyes of his, but it was too late.

Rough hands cupped my face and I felt the heat of his mouth crash down onto mine. I didn't even have time to close my eyes before Thomas practically pulled me into him, kissing me with such a fury it was almost impossible to breathe.

It was only when I gingerly tapped his arm to let me go that I gasped precious air back into my lungs, then shooting him an angry look.

"Why did you do that." I demanded, wiping away at my mouth.

There was now an uneasy feeling in the space between us, and I watched Thomas shove his coat back to place a hand on his hip, and the other cupped his chin. His eyes didn't meet mine for a long while.

"Because... Rina I don't know." He said finally, running a hand over his face.

My hands curled into fists at my sides. If Thomas didn't want to know why he kissed me, then he didn't deserve to kiss me at all.

The corner of my eyes blurred, but I blinked back the moisture and instead cleared my throat.

"Then don't do that again if that is all you have to say to me afterwards, Thomas." I said, turning on my heel.

I heard Thomas's feet shuffle after me, and then felt his grip on my arm stop me in my tracks. I didn't dare look him in the eyes. I couldn't stomach it.

"You know that's not what I meant," Thomas breathed.

My lips curled back in a snarl.

"No Thomas," I hissed, ripping my arm free, "that's where you're wrong. I never know with you, that's the problem. That's the problem with all you gangsters!"

The breath caught in my throat, but I didn't waver. Not even when he pleaded me to listen, my name in his mouth like it was his. Like I was his.

But I was nobody's, I realized. I wasn't Alfie's, nor Thomas's. But I was tired, sick and tired of the half hearted emotions these men gave me and enough was enough.

I was a Marino, goddammit.

And I needed to start acting like one.

So instead of standing there like some dim witted fool, listening to Thomas's excuses I turned and ripped open the door.

I would've stormed out in a grand exit, but standing there in front of me was none other than Polly Gray.

"Why, hello." Polly breathed, certainly she wasn't expecting me.

I forced a smile, stepping aside for Pol to enter.

"Hello," I managed, offering a hand, "I am Caterina."

Polly eyed me carefully, but took my hand in hers. A ghost of a smile played upon her face.

"You're the artist," she inquired.

I nodded, "I am."

Her brown eyes shot to Thomas behind me, before meeting my impatient stare.

Polly's lips twitched, "you're smile looks forced."

I let go of her hand and took a step past the threshold, ignoring the holes Thomas burned into me, and shrugged.

"That's because it is."

A knowing grin spread across the older woman's face and before Thomas could scold me, I turned on my heel and left.

Behind me, I was able to hear Polly's remark before Thomas slammed the door.

"I like the spirit in that one."

⚜️

The sun was just beginning to set when I arrived home.

I was walking alongside the stone wall that surrounded my house when I noticed a car parked just up ahead. It was a beautiful vehicle, certainly expensive. But the thing was, my neighbors were humble farmers, and couldn't possibly afford such a thing.

My eyebrows knitted together as I met the black iron gate of my house- which was swung wide open.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I locked the gate when I left earlier, I knew it.

Carefully I looked around the grassy hedges on either side of my house before stepping past the iron bars and onto the stone path towards my door. That at least, wasn't wide open.

I gently pressed an ear against the wooden door in hopes to hear something that would explain why there was an expensive car parked outside my home with the gate left wide open.

But there was nothing.

I swallowed thickly, mentally preparing myself to fight back if need be. Who knows, maybe Sabini came back to finish the job.

My blood boiled at the thought, which provided me with enough rage to push open the door and enter my home.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, at least for now. But as I slowly tip toed deeper into the house's interior, my hand found its way into my purse and pulled out my gun.

The same gun Vince and Johnny had given me after the night they rescued me from death. It was then that I promised next time I would use it, and it seemed to me that next time was now.

I raised the gun eye level and searched the foyer, and then the living room. But there was nothing.

I loosened a breath and lowered my gun, my eyes scanning over the room. I was about to blame my uneasiness on the fight I just had with Thomas, when I heard a teapot screeching in the kitchen.

The loud hiss nearly made me jump out of my skin as I ran towards the sound, gun ready and aimed at the intruder.

At Alfie.

"Bloody hell, Love!" He said, "careful where you point that thing."

The fear and tension I had felt earlier dissolved into forming annoyance at Alfie's lack of manners.

I lowered the gun.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" I gasped, running a hand over my hair. "I thought I was going to have to shoot someone in my own home, Alfred."

His broad frame hardly fit in my simple kitchen, especially when he shrugged apologetically at me.

"My apologies, love." He said, taking the kettle from the stove and pouring it over two of my mugs on the counter.

I heaved a sigh and leaned against the kitchen sink, resting my elbows on the broken tiles.

"Damn you, Alfie Solomons." I breathed, lolling my head in his direction.

The single light that swung over the kitchen illuminated his beautiful features, which were now full of concern. Alfred handed me a cup and pulled me off from the counter and towards the kitchen table.

Alfred pulled a chair from underneath the dark wood and sat, pulling me onto his lap, despite my grunt in protest.

I didn't need to be coddled like a child right now, I needed to get ready for the reopening.

But of course, Alfie ignored me and wrapped his arm firmly around my torso, while the other rested over my thigh. His hand was so much larger that it covered the top of my thigh with ease and would occasionally squeeze in order to get a giggle from me, or two.

He only ceased when I reluctantly smiled from his playful touching, and waited for me to speak.

But I didn't, instead I stared into the tea, running a finger around the ring of the mug.

I felt Alfie's legs shift under me, and he let out a heavy sigh, rummaging into the pocket of his trousers.

"A letter arrived at my desk this morning." Alfie said, pulling out an envelope. "It's from Chicago."

My gaze immediately shot up to his, and I hastily snatched the crumpled envelope into my hand.

I ignored Alfie's curses under his breath and set the tea onto the table, now using both hands to rip apart the paper.

My family had finally wrote to me again after six long months.

Millions of thoughts poured into my brain at what could be in this letter for me. Was someone hurt, or dead? Was the war over?

Could I be going home?

I had to know.

My fingers pried open the folded paper and I scanned the neat writing over it. Definitely Fran's handwriting, I decided, skimming over his message.

It felt like I wasn't even touching the earth when I finished it. I was so at loss of words that Alfred eventually pried the letter from my hands and read over it himself.

His mumbling grew louder as he read the last bit.

"Father's war is coming to an end, which means my darling sister, you should be coming home to us soon." Alfie read, finally lifting his head to meet my teary eyes.

I couldn't believe it, his war was finally over. I would see my brothers, my father, even Theresa. Oh how I missed them.

But when I finally focused back on Alfie's stunned face, I found myself torn again. That would mean I'd be leaving him behind.

"Oh, Alfie." I began, wrapping my arms around his thick neck. "Leaving you is the last thing I'd ever want to do."

I nuzzled deeper into the crook of his shoulder, fisting the back of his hair lightly. I felt his strong arms run up my back and over my shoulders, squeezing gently.

"You're not leaving, are you. Tell me you're not." He demanded.

I planted a kiss against his neck and pulled back to face him, running my hands over his cheeks, his shoulders, his chest. If I left I would never be able to touch him ever again like this.

And the thought alone broke my heart.

My eyes scanned over his face, taking in every detail. Maybe I'd have to paint him after all, just in case I forget his face. Although I doubted it.

I could never forget that face.

"I'm not sure, Alfred," I admitted. "They're my family."

Alfred's face hardened.

"That night you came at my door, yeah, you told me you hated that place." He said, moving to point a finger at me.

"You told me there was nothing there for you. What's so different now that you're willing to leave all this behind for them, hmm?"

I frowned.

"They are still my blood, Alfred. Those are my people I was forced to leave behind." I said, "and what do I have here exactly, huh? I live alone in this house, I don't have anybody in this foreign land and you know it."

The moment those words left my mouth, I instantly wished I could take them back.

Alfred's face crumpled before me, his deep blue eyes glistened under the lamp light.

"You had me." He whispered, shoving me aside.

I watched him stand and push past me, halfway pausing by the doorframe of the kitchen entrance. Alfred ignored my pleas and instead said, "I can't fucking believe I thought you meant it when you said you were with me always."

And with that, he left, slamming the door behind him. Leaving me to sink to my knees in the middle of the floor, crying out after him.

For a long while I sobbed alone on my kitchen floor, letting my cries bounce around the empty house.

"Why can't you tell me you love me, you idiot." I cried, slamming my fists against the floor.

The letter, lay crumpled on the floor in front of me. It was only when my eyes cleared enough that I noticed it again.

Going home sounded pretty enticing right about now.

Remembering I had an event to attend to, I finally decided to pick myself off from the floor and stumbled towards my bath. I was going to pack my shit, and get reeling drunk tonight.

Yep, that's what I'll do.

_______________________
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