Chapter Thirty Four

Vanessa was grateful she didn't practice criminal law. If she was, she would have found herself making an abundant amount of phone calls to profusely apologize for ever confining anyone to a set space. Add in a teenage daughter who hates you, plus having to be constantly aware of your emotions and feelings of stress, Vanessa could only describe it as her own personal hell.

"I didn't use your name to get Lia into Hunter," Vanessa said through slow breaths, to Lin who was sitting behind her, continuing to rub her back as he tried to calm her down.

"I know,"

"I don't even get where this is coming from. I wasn't even filling out forms until after Emilia had already been accepted," Vanessa stated, "And you're on her birth certificate! I couldn't just not list you,"

"I get it," Lin replied, although he could sense Vanessa wasn't really talking to him but moreso thinking out loud. He was just there to be the supportive boyfriend.

"And yes, was it shitty of me to keep you from her? Yes, and it is one of my greatest regrets. But I also couldn't just be all, 'Hey, that musical you're obsessed with? The guy that wrote it is your father!'" Vanessa's voice rose; not sure if she was more defensive at Lia's accusation or trying to find excuses to make herself feel less shitty.

"We were barely adults when you got pregnant;" Lin reasoned, "We both made mistakes. You did the best you could, which might I add included getting your law degree and raising an incredible person who also happens to be a fifteen year old who is still figuring out how to process her emotions."

Vanessa shrugged her shoulders as she let her head fall back into the crook of his neck, "It just feels like I keep failing. I'm working from home and have had to scale back, so I'm failing my clients. I'm stuck in this bed because I failed the babies. I failed Lia. I failed you,"

"V, you didn't fail anyone." Lin stated, his tone definitive, as he wiped away the tears from her cheeks, "You're in this bed because you're putting your children before anyone else, which you've always done. Including with not telling me about Lia," Vanessa opened her mouth to speak but Lin continued, "You didn't tell me because you didn't want her to feel the neglect that I made you feel," He admitted the thoughts he had spent the past few months thinking over, "That's not to say I don't wish I had known Lia her entire life, because I do. But you also can't spend the rest of your life feeling guilty over a decision you made that you thought was the best thing to do for Lia."

The tears continue to spill over from Vanessa's eyes, but she now directed her gaze at Lin, wondering how in spite of everything that had happened over the past fifteen years she was lucky enough to have him in her life.

"You don't have to say all of that to make me feel better,"

"I'm not," Lin replied, "I'm saying it because it's the truth,"

Vanessa rested her eyes as she continued to lean against Lin, she felt his lips meet her cheek. She let out a soft sigh, "I have to go talk to Lia,"

"No,"

She opened her eyes and looked at Lin, "Lin, I can't just ignore the fact that she's in her room hating me,"

"Actually you can," Lin didn't mean for the laugh that emitted to come out, "I'm not laughing at you, but hear me out. You and Emilia have hashed this out before and it ended in a screaming match with her sleeping at my place. You can't afford to get in a screaming match right now," He stated, "And considering the way Lia stormed in and out of here, that seems inevitable,"

"Lin,"

"I'll go talk to her," He offered, getting off of the bed. He knew Vanessa wouldn't just stand by knowing Lia was hurting, no matter what the reason was. If he was being honest, he didn't want to fall asleep or come back from the theatre that night with no resolution and find the two of them going at it.

Vanessa was frustrated; some of it warranted and some of it she knew was heightened by her hormones. She knew Lin was right. Going into Lia's room would lead to her being out of her bed a lot longer than what she was allowed and both of their emotions would be high. It didn't mean she had to like it.

Lin didn't want to make Vanessa feel worse than she was already feeling so once she was at least settled a bit, he headed off to calm down the other Nadal woman in his life.

He looked at his watch, not believing it was only a little past noon. Considering he still had a show tonight, Lin knew he was in for a long day.

When he knocked at Lia's door, he was met with silence other than the voices, including his own, singing 'Blackout' from In The Heights. It was a moment of levity for the father who still felt like he had no idea what he was doing.

He knocked again, out of respect for Lia, but when he was still met with silence, he opened the door and found Lia lying on her bed, staring at her ceiling. Her arms were folded across her chest. Her eyes shifted to Lin, her face red and puffy, "I didn't know it was you at my door,"

"So, if it was your mom, who is six months pregnant with twins on bedrest, at your door you would have been fine with just saying nothing?"

Lia simply looked back up at the ceiling, clearly not wanting to have the conversation.

"Can you turn that down, please?" Lin asked as he leaned against the edge of her desk. .

With a huff, Lia pressed the pause button on her phone. She sat up in her bed, her arms still folded and a look of anger apparent on her face. "I don't get how you're not pissed at her!"

"Because this isn't new," Lin talked in a calm manner, trying to sympathize with his daughter's frustration, "So your school knew before we did? Who cares."

Lia rolled her eyes, and shook her head. How could he not see this was just another display of deceitfulness by Vanessa.

"And, just so you know, I had nothing to do with Hunter. You got into Hunter on your own merit. Your mom didn't submit anything with my name on it until after you had already been accepted,"

"That's what she told you, right? Since she has the best track record for honesty," Lia's comment was filled with attitude, frustrating the usually even-tempered Lin.

"She is your mother who deserves not to be talked about like that," He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling as though he was getting nowhere with the teenager, "Can you please explain what even brought this on?"

"When I got to the ice cream shop, Lindsay and some girls were there starting with me. So, when I went over to confront them about it, Lindsay said the only reason I got into Hunter was because of you,"

Lin stayed quiet for a few moments as he tried to comprehend: A. how this teenage girl continued to start this much shit with his daughter and B. why his daughter kept buying into it.
"Let's say, she's right. The only reason you got into Hunter is because of me. Does it really matter that much? To the point that you storm in here and attack your mom, who is the last person that needs to be getting upset right now?"

Lia already felt guilty about going off on her mom. She knew she was in fragile condition and she didn't need her teenage dramatics. But how was she supposed to react? Wasn't she allowed to have feelings?

"My school knew who my father was before I did!" She exclaimed. "How messed up is that?"

Lin sighed and pulled out her desk chair. "Lia, I know it must've been painful not to know who your dad is. Your mom feels really guilty about it."

"Yeah? Well that doesn't change the fact I didn't have a dad for fourteen years. She feels guilt and I went fatherless for my whole childhood. I think I win."

"You win?" He furrowed his eyebrows at her. "Is this a contest?"

Lia groaned and fell back into her back, frustrated. They never understood.

"You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself," he told her bluntly. "We may have missed out on a relationship then, but you still grew up in a loving home, never went hungry, went to good schools. You've been fine."

Lia knew he was right and hated that he was pointing these things out. Didn't he know she just needed to vent sometimes? Just because she hadn't been abused, starved, or abandoned she couldn't complain about something?

"Now, do I need to step in with this Lindsay thing?" He asked. She had been suspended for three days at school, but apparently she was still tormenting Lia. "Is she bullying you?"

"No!" She sat up, protesting vehemently. "I'm not seven years old. I can handle it now."

Lin was quiet for a few moments. He hated having to have firm conversations with his kid but understood it was sometimes needed as a parent. He didn't want to let things go without lightening things up a little.

"Because I can show up in full costume and cabinet battle their asses," he told Lia.

Despite the last few minutes, Lia laughed. "I'll let you know. Could you come with Chris?"

"Absolutely."

"And maybe Groff?"

Lin smirked. "I'm sure he'd insist. Now, we've got a bedridden pregnant woman with a craving for butter pecan. Wanna go try again?"

Lia nodded, feeling better. Lin offered a hand to help her up and they both found their shoes. Twenty minutes later, they had returned with V's butter pecan, and the family was back on the mend.

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