:://DEDICATED TO xSweetnessOverloadx FOR THE COVER SHE MADE//::

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Walking with Landon made me extremely nervous, and not in a 'cute little giggle' way but in a 'hardly being able to make coherent sentences' way.

We'd been walking for less than five minutes but it felt like hours - the silence drawing out like the distant buildings on the horizon that we were walking parallel to.

People pushed past us, heading about their everyday business and I almost groaned at the tension between us and my incapability to act even remotely casual with this man.

"Hey Peanut." He drew me out of my thoughts and I looked up at him in surprise. "You doing okay there?" The concern that comes into his eyes shocked me again and my heart fluttered at the thought of him caring but I quickly pushed it back.

Of course he is concerned he's probably wondering if I'm crazy just walking and not saying anything.

He looked at me awaiting an answer and I mentally cursed, trying to think of a suitable response.

"I honestly don't know." I settled for with a sigh and he furrowed his eyebrows, lines drawing into the space between his two sharp eyebrows, his tanned skin creating ripples across the planes of his perfect face.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked and I hesitated, "You don't need to give me details... I can just pretend to understand." He offered making smile softly at his words, he was so odd.

"Okay." I answered and he motioned for us to sit down at a juice bar that we were walking past. "I don't know if I can sit still." I confessed causing him to chuckle.

"Tea always makes talking easier." He assured and I sighed, falling into one of the chairs in defeat. "An iced tea." He told the waiter and signalled me to add on my order but I frowned.

" I don't have any money." I explained and he rolled his eyes.

"She'll take one too."

"I'll pay you back." I assured, not liking that i'd taken his money but he just shrugged and waved my worries away with a shake.

"It's just a drink... but I suppose you can pay me back in confessing whats bothering your mind." He leaned back into his chair, folding an arm behind his head and I had to drag my eyes away from the tiny bit of flesh that appeared at the bottom of his hips.

I blushed just thinking about it and I thanked god he was looking away from me when I gave in and sneaked a peak.

"Here's your drinks." A glass is placed in front of me and I immediately drank some, cooling down my body as well as my mind, control yourself Liana, you thirsty bitch.

"Thanks, just keep the change." I lookes up to see Logan handing a five dollar bill and I noted it down in my mind to pay him back for that.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do this."

He rolled his eyes, gulping down a large amount of his drink, "It's just an iced tea, like I said, and now your going to talk so talk."

I sighed, realizing I was not getting away from this and I looked down at my hands, gripping onto the cool glass between them with a grip like death.

"My mother she uh... she's not really around right now." I answered vaguely , avoiding the truth of telling Landon where my mother was.

'Oh yeah she's just currently serving her jail sentence, no biggie.'

Yeah, definitely not happening.

He stayed silent as he watched me, his brown eyes narrowed in concentration and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to figure out the gaps i'm purposely missing.

"She's not... how she used to be, and she isn't completely- well okay mentally I suppose and I received a letter from her yesterday which displayed this extremely clearly, but she didn't send one to my brother and he's coming to visit this weekend and I don't know if I can keep it from him or if I should because it's right before his exams and he needs to concentrate and not worry about that lunatic coming back into our lives." I closed my eyes, taking a huge breath in frustration, my head starting to pound, being stretched by the millions of worries and issues flooding my head as well as the memories that they brought.

"Lunatic? Is your mother..." He trailed off and I quickly shook my head.

"Oh god no I wasn't saying that about my mother." I countered, "The lunatic is her ex boyfriend... though I suppose I should say current fiance considering she apparently still wants to marry him." I grumbled, frowning as I wiped off the condensation on the cup I was holding, the sun beating down on my exposed leg that sticks out from under the shelter of the umbrella.

"Is he... dangerous?" Landon asked and I don't look up, the images of fists and snarls coming back to me in a tidal wave and I struggle to push it back, grimacing against the pain it gives me mentally, and also the phantom pains I receive physically.

I gave him an easy smile, rolling my eyes, "Nah he's harmless, just a bit annoying I suppose, plus he doesn't help my mum's mental state."

Lying slips far yoo easily off my tongue.

"You're sure?"

I don't reply to his question and he seemed to gather that I wasn't going to tell him anything and so he sighed, running a large hand through his short hair, the blonde wisps flying in different angles as he did.

"I think that you're doing the right thing by not telling your brother right now." He finally answered and I looked up at him in surprise, he was actually helping me? "I'm sure he has enough problems on his plate with university and everything so maybe it wouldn't be the best time to tell him... i'd advise you do at some point though because otherwise when he finally does find out it will be ten times worse."

I nodded in agreement, confidence in my decision settling in me as I drank the last of my iced tea.

"Thank you Landon." I smiled and he nodded politely in reply.

"That's alright, just doing my duty Ma'am." He winks and I felt the flush rise from my neck and coat my entire face in the blink, or in this case wink, of an eye.

He sounded so sexy when he said that.

"So you have a little brother?" Landon asked making a small smile form on my face. "How old is he?"

"Nineteen, almost twenty, he's just finishing his second year at University."

"What one is he at?" He started drinking his iced tea and I smiled with pride.

"The California Institute of Technology."

He choked on his drink and I gasped in shock as a few spurts of the drink fly across the table and hit me, the ice cold temperature cooling my skin and I can't help but giggle as Landon coughs, his hand thumping his chest.

"Are you alright?" I asked, automatically reaching across and placing a hand on his outstretched arm lying on the table and a pleasant shiver runs down my spine at the connection... Or maybe the coldness of my skin touching his hot one. I quickly pulled my hand away, scolding myself for being so forward with him and he raised an eyebrow at me and then shook his head.

"Yeah sorry, I just wasn't expecting your brother to be a technical genius!" He confessed and I looked at him confused.

"Why not?" I asked causing him to hesitate with his answer, glancing at the coffee house badge sitting on my chest and embarrassment hit me.

Because I was a coffee shop girl.

"Never mind, I know exactly why you wouldn't think it." I spat and he went to speak but I held up my hand. "It's fine, I get it. How could my brother be going to one of the best tech schools in the world while i'm working in a coffee house, you don't have to say it." I stood up, pushing in my chair and taking a step back.

"Peanut I-"

"You know what's even more shocking, he got into MIT! But I guess that would just be like me getting into Starbucks." I hissed before turning and walking away from him and I hear his footsteps follow me as I walk around the corner and storm down the street, heading for the cafe, cursing when I realize how far we've actually walked.

"Hey I didn't mean to offend you!" Landon shouted and I scoffed, rolling my eyes as I continued to power through the streets, ignoring his calls and trying not to let the tears fall from my eyes.

God I was so embarrassing but I didn't care, right now I was so angry.

And it wasn't even at Landon for saying it.

I was angry because he was right, I knew how it looked to anyone who met my brother and I could only imagine how much pity they felt for me whenever they compared us. I was so angry at my mother for making me choose between my happiness and Joey's.

I was so self conscious about it, it made me crazy.

A hand landed on my arm and pulled me to a stop and I stumbled before turning around and glaring at Landon who stood behind me, a hand running through his hair.

"Peanut i'm sorry I didn't mean to- hey are you crying? God i'm sorry you're not-"

"But I am." I confirmed, wincing against the thought of how much of a mess I looked at that moment, "You're right, how can I even begin to compare to my little brother when I work as a barista, right?" I let out a humorless laugh, "I mean they're literally polar opposites."

I took a step towards Landon, pointing a finger in his chest and I ignored the way his muscles contracted under it.

"But you do not know what I have sacrificed for him to have this chance, and you don't know anything about me so don't you dare pity me or presume that that i'm oblivious to how it looks because i'm not. Do you not think I know how much shame must come over my brother when he tells people what I do in comparison to what he's doing. I'm his big sister and I've been working the same job for the past three years do you not think I know that i'm a failure, because trust me I do, I am under no illusions."

The look he gave me wasn't pity, which I was grateful for because if he had I think I might have slapped him. Instead he looked at me in guilt and I sighed, stepping back from him, suddenly embarrassed at how close I had gotten to him.

Oh my god I had just shouted at Landon and I hadnt even known him a week.

Pull yourself together Liana.

Landon stayed silent, just watching me and my heart raced as he did because the questioning eyes that stared at me made me want to run, I didn't want to get into a sob story about my lost dreams.

"Now," I began, clearing my throat and wiping my face, "If you'll excuse me I have work to get back to. " I stated, tugging at my shirt and trying to redeem some of the dignity that I had just smashed to pieces like a biscuit dropped from a shelf, "Afternoon Landon."

My icy tone surprised even me but I didn't let it show as I turned and walked away, not looking back.

"Bye Peanut."

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"I can't believe I went off on him like that." I mumbled into my pillow and I felt Margot's hand on my back as she rubbed it soothingly, trying to comfort me. "Margot I was such a bitch and all he was doing was stating the truth."

It had taken the rest of my shift and a very tense walk home for me to figure out that I should definitely be apologizing to Landon - he didn't deserve for me to completely attack him with my rant.

"I'm sure it'll be okay, it's not as if you hit him or anything." She assured and I groaned, rolling over onto my back and covering my face with my hands, "Oh my god you didn't hit him did you?"

I sighed, "No I didn't but he'd just bought me tea and in return I shout at him, who does that?"

It was a rhetorical question but as always Margot replied.

"Crazy people aka you."

I removed my hand and glared at her, "That was rhetorical." I stated causing her to roll her eyes.

"Yeah but you know it's true. Who shouts at a muscly, huge, gorgeous man in the middle of the street after he's bought you a drink, given you advice and listened to your problems after only knowing you, for like what, five days?" She looked at me pointedly.

"Crazy people."

"Now stop worrying about it and just relax, i'm sure he won't hold you to it forever and even if he does who cares? It's not as if you're friends with the guy!"

I frowned and thought about it for a moment, why did I care so much, Margot was right; I didn't really know him, he wasn't anything important to me plus it's not as if I fancied him or anything! The guy didn't even know my name.

"You're right." I answered and she smirked.

"Of course i'm right." She glanced at me sideways, "Unless he's more important than you're letting on.." I quickly shook my head, standing up and brushing off my clothes, as well as her questions.

"Of course he isn't. I'm going to go and make us dinner." I rushed out the door and I heard her giggles follow me out the room and over to the fridge, as I pulled it open and took out the food.

Our kitchen wasn't huge, but we had it better than a lot of other students - courtesy of Margot's father and his huge pay checks that he sends her in replacement for his actual presence, that's the only reason i could afford to stay here, she didn't need a roommate, she could completely cope without receiving money from me and so instead of having to pay half of everything her dad covers it all and I buy the food for the house and some of the bills, although she didn't even let me spend much on those either.

Our apartment was perfect for us - it had enough space that we could throw parties and have people over as well as keep our space from each other if we needed it, and small enough that it didn't feel empty. I think that's the main reason for Margot wanting me to live here - she hated being alone, her biggest fear was to end up with everyone leaving her, just like her mum did, and then I suppose, her father too.

I let my mind wander to Landon, distracted by the smell of the pasta beginning to cook and I groaned.

His brown eyes had literally burned themselves into the back of my eyelids and I couldn't shake the sad look in them from earlier, he looked so sorry, so guilty, and I didn't even let him get a word in.

God I am crazy.

One minute minute everything was fine and then the next I flipped - he probably thinks i'm bipolar for goodness sake!

I sighed, stirring the pasta and adding in the other ingredients.

"Thinking about Landon?"

I jumped and let out a squeal in surprise, dropping the spoon I was holding and hissing as it hit my foot. "Margot." I scolded and she smirked, hopping up onto the island and innocently shrugging.

"It was just a question... and you clearly were by the way."

"I was what?" I asked, avoiding looking at her and when she just stayed silent I gave up. "Okay fine, yes I was. There are you happy?" I dished up the food and she hopped down, taking a plate with a smug smile.

"Ecstatic."

"You can't blame me for thinking about him, he called me Ma'am today." I confessed and she gaped at me, "Exactly just imagine that god like face calling you Ma'am along with a wink and tell me you wouldn't be thinking about it for the next month."

Margot nodded, in understanding, "Especially if you have an authority fetish." She added, making me blush.

"I do not have a-"

"Yes you do, don't even deny it." She interrupted, sitting down in front of the television and I rolled my eyes, taking a seat beside her as she began to shovel the pasta into her mouth.

"There's literally no point in disagreeing with you is there." I ceded and she shook her head, "Okay fine I have a thing for guys with power." I agreed and she holds up her hand.

"And in uniform and with authority." She waits for me to say it and I groaned, snatching the remote off of her.

"Shut up, lets just watch some Supernatural."

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