//:: Cover on the side by Abiiin who this chapter is dedicated to :://

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My Little Lian,

I'm sorry I haven't written to you in quite a while, things have been hard and I just haven't had the chance - but I know you'll understand. You always did.

My way of living is the same - the food never changes which I enjoy, it's a good healthy balance that keeps me feeling young, so when I get out I'll feel as though I haven't missed anytime at all and you and I will be back to being best friends!

I don't blame you for not coming and seeing me, I understand studies must be hard going right now with finals coming up and all, oh and how is your brother? Is he at university yet, time flies and I can't seem to remember the date sometimes, although perhaps he still has a while before he thinks about that, he's only in high school after all.

Oh Lian how I wish you were here with me - you'd like it, they've got such quiet spaces that you could write in and not be disturbed and the entertainment is extremely thrilling! There's normally live action everyday before the guards break it up!

Have you heard from Steven? He's been to visit me a few times and we're still planning on getting married when i'm out, which isn't too long now I don't think!

Oh sweetheart Steven says he misses you too, and when we get back we'll be a big happy family once again.

Not too long now my baby, stay safe.

Your loving mother, Iona.

Kisses from vacation xoxox

My mother wasn't always the person she was now - she was like every other parent, I was positive. She loved her family and her husband, she cooked and cleaned, she kept a steady job as a manager of a store; my childhood was filled with nothing but happiness.

Up until my father died.

I'd never seen someone crack the way my mother did, it was as if she had lost every part of herself that used to make her who she was and she was replaced by someone that I didn't recognize - and that didn't recognize me.

She used to be so full of life when my dad was alive, her smile was infectious and our house was constantly filled with laughter and love... and then the love of her life died and shook her entire world, and ruined her life.

Gone was the woman who had brushed my hair every night and used to twirl Joey around on her hip, and in came this shell of a person who drowned her sorrows in alcohol every night, and when that began to lose its effect, drugs.

Soon she was hardly even at home and I became the person to look after Joey, which I didn't mind, he was the most important thing in the world to me. But i was only fourteen and had to look after an eleven year old boy who was confused at what our mother was doing and didn't understand why she didn't love him anymore.

On my fifteenth birthday I didn't even see her, instead she disappeared for a week and so for my birthday, Joey and I sat, ate pizza and played board games until we fell asleep. When she came back a week later everything had changed and we knew life would never be the same again.

And it wasn't.

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"Are you going to reply?"

I stared at the letter, reading it over and over again until my head couldn't make any sense of it and I slowly folded it, putting it in the top drawer of my dresser. I shook my head in response and Margot sighed. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head again, tears still falling from my eyes. "Oh my honey." She whispered, stretching her arms out to me and I fell into them, hugging her with everything I had, my tears flowing like a stream down my cheeks and falling onto our laps, the sobs racking my body. "It's okay, it's okay." She cooed and I listened to her steady heartbeat.

"She thinks Joey is still in High School." I managed to sob out. Margot sighed, stroking my hair and placed a kiss on the crown of my head. "She thinks i'm at university."

"You know they drugs have damaged her mind... she's just confused." I sat up, springing away from her.

"Confused? She's not confused Margot she's crazy! She's lost a grip on reality, she's acting like jail is a holiday break and she's still in contact with that asshole!" I screamed in rage, gripping my hair with both hands and tugging, "She thinks that when she gets out we'll play happy families, after everything I have had to sacrifice because of her! Does she even remember what happened before she left?"

My mind whirled as I thought of all the memories that my mother was a part of and I couldn't seem to even find one that showed a sliver of love from her from the past eight years.

"She's going to marry Steven when she's out and that means she will never get better, she'll be back to how she was before she even went in, jail will of done nothing for her." I choked and Margot furrowed her eyebrows. I can see that she's trying to think of something positive to take from all of it but there isn't.

"At least she didn't send the letter to Joey." She offered and I gasped in horror, what if she had! What if she had sent him a letter like mine.

"What if she did though."

Margot's hand shot to her mouth, covering her horrified expression but my mind was already reeling. "I need to phone Joey."

"You can't, not in this state!" She begged but I ignored her and ran to my phone. "Liana think about it, you'll just worry him more!"

I turned around and glared at her, "I'm more worried about how he will react to a letter from our mother who we haven't heard from in three years and is currently rotting in a jail cell and thinks he is still in High School!"

She stopped trying to prevent me from calling him and sat on my bed, watching me dial his number.

I took a deep breath before hitting call and I waited for him to pick up.

Please pick up, please pick up.

It rang eight times and then went to his voice mail and I feel the hysteria inside of me rising.

I hit call again.

Please, please, please.

Again it rings eight times and goes to voice mail.

"Mother fucker!" I screamed, punching the number into my phone again and Margot tried to reason.

"Maybe he's got class." She offered and I shook my head.

"He only has them in the morning today!"

The phone lit up and I held it to my ear praying to hear his voice.

Please don't let him have gotten a letter, please do-

"Hello?"

The relief that flowed over me was immediate and I let out a huge sigh down the phone, tears coming to my eyes.

"Joey." I managed to say and I could hear the happiness in his voice when he realises its me.

"Lia hey! How's it going big sis?" I chuckled.

"Fine Joey, where were you, I've called three times." He laughs.

"I was in the shower, I just ran to get the phone because I heard it as I got out. What's so important? Checking that I was still coming this weekend?" He asked and I looked over at Margot in surprise, I'd completely forgotten about him visiting.

"Yeah... just checking when you were going to get here." I stuttered, there's silence on the other end.

"You forgot didn't you." He guessed, "You're such a bad liar. Why did you really phone?" I sighed.

"Did you um... get anything today? Anything interesting?" I asked vividly and I could imagine him frowning in his bedroom all the way in Los Angeles.

"Interesting? Like what? This is LA there's interesting stuff everywhere." He paused, almost as if he can hear the worry in my voice, "Li is everything okay? Are you okay?"

His concern for me made me smile and filled my heart with love, my little brother, no matter how far away from me always looked out for me and checked up on me - we were each others anchors.

"I'm fine Joey, I just wanted to check that everything was okay with you." I lied, wincing, hating to keep things from him but he didn't need to know about the letter... not yet anyway. "Anyway, I was going to have a chat with you but seen as you are getting here in two days, I don't really see a point because i'll just talk to you when you're here. What are your flight details again?"

We talked for a few minutes and I wrote down all the information I needed from him, the thoughts of the letter flitting from my mind with every passing second.

"Okay so i'll see you at 10am on Saturday morning at the airport." I informed him and he chuckled.

"Good thing you called otherwise you probably would still have been asleep on Saturday, forgetting that I was even visiting. Tell Marge that i'm ashamed of her for not remembering either."

I smirked and turned to face Margot who was typing away on her laptop, "Joey hates you for forgetting about him this weekend." She gasped.

"Tell him he is about to get some strongly worded messages via Facebook."

Joey laughed down the phone, hearing her and I rolled my eyes, the two of them were like children.

"Okay well i'm going to go, someone has to cook for Margot or else she'll starve."

"Hey!"

"Yeah that's true, well sis, i'll see you in two days!"

I grinned in anticipation.

"Love you Joey." I smiled.

"Love you too Li, see you soon!" The call ends and I sighed, taking the phone away from my face and sinking myself onto my bed.

"So no letter then?" Margot guessed and I shake my head in bewilderment.

"She talks about being a family and loving us and everything but yet she only sends the letter to me and not him... she always forgot about him." I murmured, my heart aching for the little boy who lost his dad and basically his mother too.

"Maybe she doesn't know where he lives, the letter has been forwarded from your old house so she doesn't know you live here and she thinks your brother is still in High school so he'd be living with you."

"Don't mention the letter this weekend." I asked her and she looked at me in confusion, "It's right before exams, he doesn't need this confusing him and stressing him out, I'll tell him later once things have settled down and its safer." She nodded in understanding though I could see that she disapproved of keeping something from him and honestly so did I, but it was what I had to do, I couldn't jeopardize his future just because our criminal mother wanted to play Happy Families.

"How long does she have left of her sentence?" Margot asked me softy and I don't even hesitate before answering.

"She's halfway... Joey will have finished University by the time she is released and that's all that matters."

My brother getting his degree and having a future was the most important thing and I couldn't be more proud of him for how far he had gone.

"I still can't believe he's in the California University of Technology, I mean that is one of the best tech schools there is it's amazing!" Margot gushed and pride swelled within me.

"He deserves it." I stated simply, "He's the best guy there is, no one would be more deserving and needs it more than he does."

"I agree. He's a little brainiac who is going to make millions one day, i'm betting on it." She smiled and then got up, leaving my room and my smile faltered.

I was so proud of Joey, I could never be angry at him for achieving his goals and getting the opportunity to go to Caltech but just thinking about the future made me want to scream - he was going to be so successful, he'll have the world at his fingertips, and who will I be? The leeching sister who hangs around like a thorn in his side, still working in a cafe and receiving rejection letter after rejection letter from publishers who want nothing to do with her.

Was I doomed to a life of failure?

Probably.

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The next day wasn't any better, the thought of the letter was still lingering over my head and I couldn't get it to leave.

What did she mean that we'd be a happy family again, with Steven non the less! The man was a monster, the cause of everything that went even more wrong. He encouraged the destruction of my mother. How could she not see that he was everything wrong in her life.

I took my break and decided to go on a walk, hoping to clear my head, and so I left my apron on the counter and headed out in my casual clothes, the sun immediately beating down on my face and I basked in its warmth for a moment before starting to walk, my mind still fogged by my thoughts.

Why had he been to see her, Steven let her go to jail and take the fall for him yet he went to jail to see her, why would someone do that?

It's as if he was rubbing his freedom in her face yet she didn't see it, she still loved him, still wanted to marry him.

How could she see in anything in such a-

"Ooft." I crashed into someone, the force of my power walking plus the hardness of their body making me plummet to the ground but before I could reach it, something snatched my arm and I was flung forward to my feet.

"Wow, careful there darlin', you don't watch where you're going you might hurt yourself."

I stepped out of the persons hands and without looking up I continued walking, "Sorry." I mumbled, my mind still reeling with reasons why my mother would contact me.

"Peanut?" Someone said and I looked back to see Landon standing looking at me in concern. "You alright there?" He asked. I blinked part of the fuzz away in my mind.

"Yeah, sorry I was thinking about something I didn't realize it was you... how are you?" I asked, a smile fleeting onto my face before disappearing and he looked at me in confusion.

"I'm fine... I think the more important question is how are you?"

I go to reply with the standard 'fine' but something stops me. Maybe it's the way that he was looking at me with those puppy dog brown eyes or maybe I got distracted by how good he looked in his black shirt but for some reason I paused and couldn't just lie to him.

"Are you heading somewhere?" He asked and I shook my head. "What are you doing then?"

I shrugged, "Walking...Do you uh... want to join me?" I offered and he looked at me in surprise, "Unless of course you're heading somewhere which clearly you are, sorry." I mumbled and he chuckled.

"I'll walk with you." My eyes widened in surprise.

"Really?" I asked and he nodded. "Okay." He walked up to me and I began to continue the route I was taking before, my mind suddenly a lot clearer and aware of how awkward this might become. "So..." I began, "Where were you heading?"

"The coffee shop."

I went to tell him to go back when he raised his hand, cutting me off. "It's okay, you're the only real reason I go there." He winked at me and I felt my knees slightly buckle.

What had I just gotten myself into.