Awkward.

It was a word that I was extremely familiar with. Having grown up as an imperfect child with a slight weight problem, I was no stranger to the effects it would have; the sound of blood pumping in your ears, the sweating of palms as hands grasped onto each other as though they were trying to find something to talk about, the averted glances looking for an escape from the atmosphere.

It was all a common thing.

Whether I was feeling awkward because of my weight - being slightly heavier than all the other girls in gym class - or if it was because a teacher asked us to write about our parents jobs and I couldn't exactly put my fathers occupation as 'dead', I wasn't a stranger to the feeling.

However I hand't experienced anything as bad as what I had felt at that moment in a long time.

It had been probably about ten minutes since I had sat down.

Who am I kidding, I knew exactly how long it had been, my eyes had been flicking over to the stereo console at least every twenty seconds in the hopes of the time having changed by even a single digit. So I knew that it had been exactly eleven minutes and forty seconds since I had gotten in the car.

And so, eleven minutes and forty seconds later, the vehicle was still silent, the only things moving were the tires underneath and Derek's hands on the wheel, their continuous tapping and sliding showing that it wasn't just me who could feel the tension.

My fingers found the window button on the side of the door, my hands automatically beginning to fiddle with it.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Why had I even asked him to come and pick me up, I mean sure I was stranded at a park with no real way to get back safely, but was this painfully quiet car really any better than my possible kidnapping?

Up.

Down.

In all seriousness, was my total lack for social etiquette the reason we were in this mess, should I have deleted his number the moment I woke up after that drunken night and had seen his name?

Up.

Did he expect me to delete his name?

Down.

Did he want me to delete his number?

Up.

Did he delete my number?

Down.

No he couldn't of, he knew it was me calling and unless he had one of those weird new model age phones which found the name registered to the phone for you, I didn't see him knowing any other wa-

"Could you stop please? You're going to end up breaking my window." I jumped at the voice which startled me out of my internal ramblings, my hand flying from the window as if I had been caught doing something bad. A glance at his face showed me that he was amused by my reaction and I felt myself relax, but only a little.

"Sorry." Came from my mumbling mouth before I looked back down at my hands, my fingers twirling together, stretching to find a topic of conversation.

When I had called Derek I didn't expect him to actually come and get me. He had every right to say no and pretend like I had never called, but I suppose after me basically talking non stop for five minutes and emphasizing greatly on the fact that I was indeed injured and unable to walk, he had a moral obligation, as well as no choice, and had to come and rescue me from the stranded bench.

His car was nice, a normal Honda, I have quite low car knowledge so I couldn't really inform you what type of model it was or what it's horsepower would be by listening to the rumbles of the engine, but it was a nice grey colour... so there was that.

As he turned down a familiar street he looked at me expectantly and it took a moment for me to understand that he obviously had no idea where he was going and needed my help.

Well at least I know now he isn't a stalker.

"It's just a left here." He followed that direction, as well as the next five until we are outside my apartment and I felt quite proud of myself that I had managed to make conversation... even if they were necessary means of survival.

"Well... this is you then." Derek stated, his eyes roaming over the building and I nodded, opening the door and I felt the air rush in as my nervousness flew out, making me smile slightly as the door slammed behind me.

Before I realised my issue.

"Um, Derek..." I began, his body appearing around the corner of the car with a friendly smile on his tanned face, waiting for me to continue. "This is so embarrassing." I groaned, rubbing my eyes with a free hand while he chuckled.

"More embarrassing than a completely silent ten minute car journey?"  His offer of humour made me smile and I shook my head at his words, and also at myself - I was a real idiot sometimes.

"Well the thing is, my elevator is broken and I can't really walk up the stairs on my own." I cringed at the words, already feeling the telltale signs of a blush coating my cheeks. I suppose I could have always blamed it on the heat and sun that glared down at me, but it was useless, no one burned that quickly.

"You need me to walk me to your door? Is this how you get every guy inside your apartment?" He had meant it as a joke, but as he began to walk with me towards the front door my mind flitted back to Landon and the last incident with these stairs.

In my defence I didn't ask him to help me upstairs, he found me all on his own.

But I didn't really object when he carried my up them either.

The images of his strong arms wrapped around my body infiltrated my mind and I knew I had just gotten 'burned' a whole lot quicker than before.

After getting into the mustard yellow corridor of our entrance I motioned to the stairs which led up to my safety and Derek let out a whistle, "No wonder you need my help, that's a long way up." His eyes turned to me and he held out his arms, "Do you want me to carry you?"

Whether it was because of my insecurity about my weight, which I was definitely sure it was, or, by the very tiny chance, it was because Landon had been the last one to do that to me, I shook my head in refusal, lifting an arm instead to wrap around his shoulder.

"That's alright," I smiled, "I just need someone to lean on." 

His body was warm, his shirt caused a little itch to form just above my elbow and his cologne was slightly too heavily applied, but overall the feeling wasn't entirely unpleasant. What type of girl was going to object to a well defined, quite attractive and physically strong man hoisting her up a stairwell: the correct answer is no girl.

"You know, I really do appreciate you coming to get me." It was delayed, but a late thanks was better than none at all, right?

He let out a breath as we reached the first floor, his hair being shaken away from his forehead before he shot me a smile that made little creases at the sides of his mouth appear. "That's alright, just doing the right thing."

Good morals too, unlike some egotistical and sarcastic butt I knew, unfortunately.

"Still, we obviously haven't spoken since our drunken night, and you didn't even need to pick up the phone in reality... but you did, so thank you." It was silent for a minute as we both reached the second floor, our slightly labored breathing, mine definitely more than his, highlighting the fact that we needed to go to the gym... wait no, that was just me.

As we started to climb the last set of stairs, the dirtied beige (now more a brown) coloured carpet beneath our feet, Derek took a deep breath, his hesitancy clear as his fingers curled around my waist just that little bit tighter. "In all honesty... I, uh-" He cleared his throat, his eyes glancing up to the ceiling as if to look for a way out. "I wanted you to call me."

Something fluttered in my gut - it wasn't a tidal wave of emotions or a butterfly in my chest, but the satisfaction of having a mans attention was still a weakness to me, and my body knew it, in fact it dwelled on it. I could feel my shoulders attempt to straighten that little bit to make my body look longer and more lean, and my eyelids began to close more frequently, in hopes of gaining some recognition. It wasn't intentional, but it happened. It was primal instinct to try and look more attractive to males who were an option for reproduction, it was drilled into animals and taught to humans, there were even mating calls for some species, maybe this was a womans - the quiet and unrealised changes that enticed the viewer.

"Really? I didn't know if you would want to see me again." A laugh escaped at the end of my sentence, partially due to disbelief but also because thinking back to that night made me amused - I had gotten far too drunk, and had let go of my reserved nature a little too much, but i had still enjoyed myself.

"Of course I wanted to see you again - I mean want! I definitely want to see you again, no doubt." He ramblings were quite cute, and when we reached my front door I had bitten my lip while trying to contain the smile that threatened to envelope my face at his flustered reaction. 

"Well, I think i'd like to see you too, Mr Life Guard... maybe once my cast is off, we can go out for food or something?" I offered, causing him to smirk and laugh.

"Ah, so you do remember some things from the night, that's a good sign!" We both laughed and I eased a little in my scrutiny of him.

He was a nice guy, he had good intentions and I felt comfortable and relaxed with him - why not go on a date with the guy?

The door behind me dragged open and I jumped in shock, not expecting anyone to appear as it was meant to be locked and Margot was out. My mind flashed to a murderer or burglar for a moment before the rational side of my brain zoned in on the dirty blonde hair, bruised face and muddy puddle eyes that belonged to the intruder. 

Landon.

"You!" I hissed in anger, the flame behind his eyes burning just as fiercely as mine as I watched him look from me to Derek.

Derek coughed from beside me and the blonde asshole turned to him, his head tilting in assessment. "And who are you?" 

It was a simple question, but the coldness behind the words and the bluntness that they were delivered by caused my rage to refuel and I stood, silently seething at the arrogant prick who stood in the doorway to my apartment.

"Um..." Derek, bless his heart, looked absolutely lost for words as his dark eyebrows furrowed, vision daring to swipe to me. "I'm just a friend, I was picking her up after some guy left her at the park." He shook his head a little, "I'm sorry, who are you?" 

It was now my turn to smirk as I spoke before Landon could even begin to reply.

"He's the dick that left me at the park."

The silence was deafening as his glare aimed towards me, causing me to stand up straighter and square up my shoulders, physically preparing myself for an argument. 

"Do you want me to stay, or am I okay to go?" The unease in his voice made me feel sorry for the boy who had nothing to do with the issue, and I decided that it would be completely inhumane to subject him to a fight between Landon and I.

"It's okay, Derek. I just need to have a word with Landon." He doesn't look sure, but once I - while completely shaking and tumbling slightly off balance - planted a kiss on his cheek and gave him a smile, he seemed alright with leaving me in the hands of a fuming male. I wasn't sure whether to feel comforted by that or not.

"Okay well, if you need anything give me a call, we both know you have my number." The wink he sent made me giggle, and I probably forced it a little too hard just for Landon's benefit but I also just found Derek funny, he was an amusing guy and I was sort of curious to hear funny stories and fake laugh at his bad lines.

Yeah, sure. That's why you laughed.

"I sure do, I'll let you know when my cast is off." It felt good to just look at this man and completely ignore Landon, I could feel his pent up anger stacking on top of the minutes that Derek and I spent talking and I knew that by dragging it out I was basically pulling bricks out of the Jenga tower, but I didn't care. He deserved punishment.

"Well i'll see you later." he smiled at me, "By... Landon." Landon was gifted with an unsure frown and a second glance as he disappeared down the steps, escaping the pressure that was suffocating the two people in the hallway.

Like someone had cracked a whip, my head snapped to the man who had stepped out into the hall and I could feel a snarl overcome my features. "Get out of my way." I hopped past him, attempting to look strong and fierce but most likely looking hilarious. 

"Where were you?" The television was off and there wasn't a sound in the apartment, making his words stick out all the more clearly, as well as the bang that echoed after it. 

I guffawed, facing him with sharp eyes. "Where was I? I'm sorry, was I supposed to stay in the park where you left me?" He rolled his eyes making me gape at him.

"Oh so i'm the bad guy for leaving you, but you went off with a stranger and didn't answer your phone! You're in the wrong too!" He was actually being serious. He genuinely thought that I was the one who should be in trouble right now. Plus my phone had never gone off... had it? "Who the hell was that guy anyway? Mr 'Am I okay to go?'" His impression of Derek made me scoff as he scrunched up his face and rose his pitch by at least an octave. "What a wimp."

"He was being polite, something you should learn from him." I didn't mean to snap back so quickly, but Landon was annoying me, he was being totally unreasonable and immature, plus he wouldn't accept that he had done something wrong.

"I could beat that guy up in five seconds." 

"This is not what we're talking about!" I half yelled, "We are discussing the fact that you left me in a park alone and handicapped!" 

"I was going to come back." He argued and I laughed darkly. "I was, I just needed ten minutes to cool down, that's all."

"Cool down?" I growled, jumping towards him with a glare. "What do you think this is, a fucking yoga class? That you can just take a break from a conversation and pick it back up in five minutes when you feel ready to fucking start again?" Silence is what greeted me. "Well?"

"...You said fuck."

His expression was slightly awed as he stared at me and I returned the gaze but for a whole different reason; was he a fucking idiot?

"Yes, I swore, what is your point?" After leaning my crutches against the back of the sofa I sat on top of it, the stiff material staying upright as I settled angrily.

"You've never said that before, you don't normally use such vulgar language."

"Yes I do, I left it on your voicemail today in fact." My smirk mirrored his own as he watched me, making my skin flush a little and I was mentally cheering myself on at being able to hold his gaze, no matter how intimidating it was.

He laughed, shaking his head as he sat opposite me on the work top. "You know you're kind of hot when you say 'fuck'." 

All the anger I had felt washed away from my mind as his sentence processed. 

Did he just call me hot?

"Excuse me?" I gaped, obviously thinking i'd had an aneurysm or something to make my mind think it had heard that but he just shrugged, plucking a grape from the bowl in front of him and throwing it into his mouth.

"I said you look pretty hot when you swear." He saw my gobsmacked expression, "It's a compliment Peanut, don't worry, I'm not trying to tease you or anything i'm just-"

"Ball-sack." The grape in his mouth lodged itself into his throat, making his arms flail as he tried to breathe and remove it. I stood and watched, head tilted slightly to the left as I debated whether or not I should help him, but after a few seconds he was breathing easily and pushing the bowl of grapes away from him.

"What the hell did you just say?" He looked at me as though I was insane, and I suppose shouting ball-sack at someone might help to see why. 

"I was seeing if any other word was a turn on for you or if it was just fuck."  He eyed me again and I smirked in triumph, "Clearly you were never allowed to say the word 'fuck' as a child and now when you hear it the danger and rules against it make it appealing to you, and therefore a girl saying it is a turn on, right?" It was only a small victory, but it was a win for me none the less, and by the confused and slightly frightened expression on Landon's face, I knew that I had hit the nail on the head. I leant across the bar and picked a grape off the stalk, putting it into my mouth. "Interesting."

"I don't get a rush from going against authority." He argued and I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see. "I love to follow orders and more importantly give them." He didn't even realise that his argument was just backing mine up.

"Exactly, which is why when a pretty innocent girl goes against them you get a rush of adrenaline." He seemed to pause at this and his tanned hand stroked through his hair, the lengths sliding through his fingers. "It's okay, everyone has a fetish." Teasing him was amusing, and I fell onto the sofa, grabbing the remote from beside me and began to flick through the channels that were available.

It had just been a guess, but it had seemed like I was right, and it was amusing to watch Landon figure it out after I had. I took pride in my ability to pull people apart and figure them out, it was necessary for a writer to create well thought out and diverse characters - nothing worse than a boring main character who only has one objective or drive.

"So what's yours then?" 

I paused, finger hovering over the select button.

"What?"

Landon walked around and plopped down beside me, his eyes watching me, body turned in my direction. "I said what's yours? If everyone has a fetish then what's yours?"

I was not prepared for this.

"You always preferred the damaged ones..." 

"You have a thing for authoritative figures."

Damn it, Margot.

"I don't know." I answered quickly, choosing the channel that was showing Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, "Haven't found it yet." I couldn't look him in the eye and so instead I pretended to be enthralled by the movie, even though I had seen it at least five times and read the book twice as much.

"Oh come on Liana, just tell me. Is it teachers? Do you have a thing for toes?" He paused, "Do you have a thing for teachers toes?" I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips at that and that made him smile, causing the little dimple to form at the side of his mouth and I couldn't help but scrutinize the bruises coating his cheekbone.

"No, that's not it." I replied, actually starting to watch the movie and he clapped his hands in achievement.

"Ah so there is a fetish! Come on spill, what is it then? You know mine, the least I can know is one of yours."

I struggled to find an answer.

On one hand he sort of had a point, i'd been a bit harsh in revealing his own desires to him while he wasn't aware of them, and it could have come as a bit of a shock. However, he was annoying and sitting in my house and drinking my drinks while scoffing down my food - plus he had left me alone in a park, so was he really worthy of knowing.

I went to tell him off but when I looked at him the words dried up in my throat as I eyed his rippling muscles that had come into view because of the stretch he had currently taken position in, his arms above his head as he yawned. His eyes snapped back to mine and I quickly averted them to the tv, but I knew he had caught me watching him.

"Liana..." He trailed off, the smugness evident in his tone and I cursed my hormones for making me ogle his rippling abdominal.

Quick think of something before he comments on it.

My eyes caught sight of Ron Weasley as he flew past the screen on his broom, his bright red hair sticking out from underneath the cap.

"Were you just-"

"I have a thing for Gingers." 

The words flew out of my mouth, causing his to stop his sentence and he looked at me in shock. "What?"

"I have a fetish for Gingers." I answered again, this time more surely and his eyebrows furrowed, causing a crease to appear in between them. "You asked, and that's it."

"Really?" He questioned, his aura oozing one of suspicion and I quickly nodded, pointing at the television.

"Definitely, sign me up for Ron Weasley, Ed Sheeran or Prince Harry any day, i'll be there." In all honesty it wasn't exactly a lie, I definitely did have a crush on all of those people, Prince Harry more than the others, however i wouldn't exactly call it a fetish, more just a slight attraction towards some men who happened to share a hair colour.

My type was more dirty blonds with brown eyes-

No.

"Gingers." Landon mumbled to himself as if testing the word on his lips, and his eyes watched the movie character closely, as if sizing him up. "That's a boring one." He finally concluded all though he seemed to be a little glum and I felt a rush of satisfaction that I had made him believe me.

"Sorry it's not very interesting, did you think i'd have some over dirty one that you could fantasize about." I internally slapped myself after I had said that - why the hell would I say that to him? Liana get your head on straight and be a civilized person! 

His laughter bubbled through my ears and I looked at him in shock, expecting him to be looking at me disgustingly, not amused. My scowl turned into an easy smile as he looked at me, the shine of his happiness infectious.

"Yeah, thought you'd be one to have daddy issues or something." 

Even with the wink he added on at the end, I could feel my face slip back into sadness. He hadn't meant to offend me or be cruel, he had no idea about my father, but that didn't mean that it didn't still hurt. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and the tension in my fingers increasing.

"Hey sorry did I-"

"I'm home teenagers, stop having sex and doing drugs before I call your parents!" 

I had never been more grateful for the entrance of my best friend in my life. I sprang off of the couch and hobbled to welcome her, my hand waving subconsciously as I headed for my bedroom door. 

"Hi Mags, now that your home that means Landon can leave so I'm just going to go shower, see you later Landon." I didn't look back at either of them as I rushed to the safe confinements of my bedroom, the tears beginning to spill from their cages as I reached the doorway.

"Wait Liana did you-"

I didn't hear the rest as the door slammed shut, blocking off Margot's voice as well as any input Landon might have had. For extra measures I went to the closet and turned the lock on the inside, not wanting to be disturbed or to be seen.

Slowly I sank to the floor, my back hitting the harsh edges of the clothing hangers but I ignored them, the only senses functioning being the ones feeling the heartbreak inside my chest. 

It had been so long since i'd seen him, but I would never forgot his face, I would never lose the image of his proud smile as I won my first trophy , or his laughter late at night when we would read a funny book.

I would never forget the way that he would hold me and rock me slightly, brushing away the tears that spilled from my eyes as I wept, promising that everything was going to be okay.

But now I sat, crying not only for myself, but for him too.

And no one was there to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

.

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Hiya, just wanted to say a massive thank you to you guys for reading this! I usually upload the next part once the previous chapter has hit 40 reads so thank you for being so supportive! 

And this chapter is dedicated to someone who constantly supports this story and is always the first (and sometimes the only) comment-er and reader, so thank you so much Daniella! you're amazing!  Please go give her story 'It All Started With a Bet' some love, it's such a good beginning to a story! 

Please comment you guys, I want to hear back from you!

How was all your Christmas' and what was the best gift you got?

Love always,