I want to stand out, to be noticed. No one particularly notices me. I want to stand on my own two feet. Key word: 'I want to' but I am weak.

I sometimes wish I could be as brave as the characters in my books.

I want to be noticed, maybe you think I'm seeking attention. No I'm not, not in that way....

I would like to be strong physically and mentally, but I'm the ugly duckling who will never become a swan.

I am not ugly nor am I pretty. I am not skinny nor am I fat.

Anorexia is big word. A scary word.

One that I would not use to describe myself.

But sometimes, there's a voice in my head that goes' what if'? That voice scares me. It's the same voice that says; 'you could jump and you will never see the daylight again.'

What that voice doesn't know about, is that my mind has logic and determination. As long as I have that inside of me, the voice will never win.

I am not anorexic. I hope I will never be.

In my quest to be noticed, the sense of 'never being enough' troubles me. Especially never being strong and pretty enough.

I don't know why my mind thinks like that. It might because I'm Ellie.

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Hope you guys liked it. If it resembles any real life situation that is purely a coincidence.

LOTS of LOVE

Laeyua

If you are having troubles don't hesitate to reach out. Help is never far away.