Jon

Jon

I write this late in the evening with your cloak wrapped around me as if it were you and all I wish is that you were here with me, or rather that I was with you, far away from this mess.

You need to hear this from me first. There are rumours that I am pregnant, they assume with Robb's child but some have figured out the truth about us. I am not pregnant, that I swear, but these rumours will reach you with the prisoners headed to the wall, and I could not let you believe it to be true.

I'm afraid that I will lose myself, lose sight of what you helped me remember, and so I hold your memory as my anchor. I pray I was wrong about the wall, and that you are safe there, no matter how badly I wish you were here.

Cassana

I sigh heavily as I read her letter, what I feared the most right in front of me. She might not be pregnant, thank the gods, but she's losing herself in that city. Meanwhile, I'm finding myself here.

"Oh Cassie," I sigh, running a hand over my face and know if there's one thing I can hold onto, it's that she loves me. And I love her.

But we both have our duty to the realm, we've both made our mistakes and we're suffering the consequences of it. But even after it all, I know that someone loved me, and I loved them too. 

Time's yet to tell if it was worth the consequences of it.

~

Cassana

Days turn to weeks as I find myself more at home in the keep than I had ever expected, those who once snickered at me now bow their heads in respect as I pass.

I spend my days in small council meetings learning all I can about what it takes to run seven kingdoms as well as the truth to the politics at court. I find myself growing closer to Varys, while Littlefinger is all lies Varys is hidden knowledge. I've taken Ser Barristan up on his offer to train me with a sword, it certainly makes me feel safer in this keep. 

I have taken up residence in the rooms that previously belonged to Rhaegar Targaryen, with living space as well as an official office in which to greet visitors and hold business.

"So these are the accounts following the Hand's tournament?"

"Indeed they are," Littlefinger says. "Not quite encouraging is it?"

"No, not at all," I agree. "Which is why Renly and I have decided to extend our houses alliance with the Tyrells."

He raises an eyebrow. "Lord Tywin will not like to hear that."

"While my brother may rule House Baratheon of Kings Landing, House Baratheon of Storms End is another issue entirely," I remind him. "We are a House of an appropriate amount of wealth, however it would be wise to expand that wealth for the better sake of the crown would it not?"

"And how would you go about furthering your alliance with the Tyrells?"

"Those negotations are not a matter of the Master of Coin," I say sternly. "Your matters are ensuring these coffers are not emptied until we can find another source to alleviate the Crowns debt to my grandfather."

"I understand," he says and there is a knock on the door.

"Yes Bree?"

"Lady Margaery of House Tyrell is here to greet you your grace."

"Excellent, let her in," I say, having been anticipating her visit. "That will be all lord Baelish."

He excuses himself and Margaery enters, curstying to me.

"Your grace."

"Margaery," I smile from my desk. "It is a joy to see you."

"And you also," she says looking around. "These are certainly different to your old rooms."

"I needed something to double as an office considering my new responsibilities."

She seems curious. "Yes, it certainly was a surprise to hear you left to marry and came back filling your fathers seat on the council."

"Well, my work was far from finished," I say as she sits across from me. 

"Did the Stark boy not meet your satisfactions?" she asks, seeming genuinely confused.

"That is quite a long and complicated tale," I sigh. "But be rest assured those rumours were nothing but rumours."

"Fear not, I knew you wouldn't let yourself fall into such a precarious position," she assures me. "So why is it you have summoned me to the capital?"

I pour us both a glass of wine. "Friendship and politics that will benefit us both and our houses."

"Go one."

"Before I left the city we were discussing a marriage alliance between our houses."

"Are you still interested?" she asks in surprise.

"Yes, but not quite between Loras and I," I tell her. "How would you feel about marrying the Lord of Storms End."

Now that proposition certainly does surprise her. "Well, I would consider it but what about you and Loras?"

"I want to fully unite the south," I tell her. "Which is why I am planning to reach out to House Martell in regards to Doran's youngest son, or perhaps even his brother, while persuading Lord Stark how much of a better match Loras would be for Sansa once she comes of age than Joffrey."

She needs a moment to take all that in. "Wow, that is- that is quite the proposition."

"House Lannister is the wealthiest house in Westeros, but what if we united the south and the north in our favour. Sansa's marriage to Loras would bring the Riverlands and the Vale into the fold, Theon Greyjoy is the heir to the Iron Islands and surely we could find some girl for him to solidy that even further."

"You truly have thought of this," she realises and dares to ask. "Why unite everyone in the realm against your own family?"

"Tell me Margaery, could you ever see Joffrey as king?" 

Her lips part at what I am suggesting. "If Joffrey would not become king, than who?" She sees the look in my eyes and warns "You are playing a very dangerous game Cassana."

"You and Renly would succeed me if anything were to befall me," I say and now that piques her interest. "I'll be quite honest with you Margaery, if staying in Winterfell taught me anything it is that love is not worth its cost. I am yet to discuss the particular details with Renly but it would be an advantageous match, it would keep him close to Loras and you would be free to do as you wish. I have also thought of the possibility of another match, Robb would be a kind husband to my sister Myrcella. And as for Sansa, Loras will be far kinder to her than Joffrey could ever be."

It is something I haven't dared truly think of until now, the thought of Robb and Myrcella, yet it would make sense. But only in a future where our houses do not destroy one another.

"Have you spoken to Sansa or Lord Stark about this?"

"No but I can certainly arrange it," I tell her. I have dug my grave with Robb, but my sister, she is a kind girl who deserves a kind husband. My father wants a marriage between our houses, and he may as well have one. "And in time my cousin Shireen could very well marry Robyn Arryn."

"You've thought of everything except one," she says slowly. "Robb Stark, why not wed him yourself and allow Myrcella to marry Prince Dorans son Trystane?"

My eyes glance to the sword displayed on my wall. "When I was in Winterfell I gave my maidenhead away," I tell her, knowing she no doubt has lost hers. "But not to the man I was sworn to marry."

She tilts her head, no judgement in her eyes. "What was he like?"

"He's a rough sort of a man as Northerners are,  but- he was always gentle with me," I find myself smiling. "We were under no obligation to like one another, from two different worlds, we both knew it was beyond impossible for us but I loved him anyway."

"And where is he now?"

"He joined the Nights Watch," I confess. "And Robb- well, he'll never forgive me and I do not deserve it."

She nods in understanding "I am sorry that your lover has taken the black, but perhaps while you are free, now that you are no longer a virgin, you could try to discover what it is you like, as so few women get that opportunity."

The thought has intrigued me. "It was only one night with him yet I discovered several things I did like."

She raises an eyebrow and smiles cheekily "Do tell?"

"His tongue," I say, going warm at the memory. "Somewhere I'd never imagined before that night if you understand?"

"Oh I understand," she smirks and says "He must have been quite the lover."

"He was," I say and try to push away the sadness. "But now I must think of the future. Prince Trystane is younger than I but I hear he is a kind boy and well, it would be wise for me to marry a man that will not challenge me within the marriage."

"A man you can have control over," she says and nods approvingly. "It would make life far easier for yourself."

The idea doesn't fill me with as much confidence as it should. "The man I loved, he challenged me in a way no one else has, to be good, to use my position and my power for justice. That challenge kept my head in the right place and I fear I am already missing it."

"But do you think he would support what you will have to do to survive in this court?" she asks me and I know the answer.

"No, he's too honourable for all this," I find myself saying. "And this court, well I fear it will not be long until the fragile peace we have implodes."

She seems genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"

"War is on the horizon Margaery, we have a Targaryen princess across the Narrow Sea married to a Dothraki warlord, the nature of Jon Arryns death has aroused suspicion between houses Lannister and Stark as well as other incidents," I tell her and an aura of seriousness settles over us. "I need to get my house and my court in order, and I am asking for you to be my ally."

She leans forward and clears her throat. "Your plan for allying your house with the others is quite brilliant, except there is one fault. If you ever dream of being queen you need to find a fault in your brothers legitimacy as heir. We both know his nature but that is not enough, I cannot risk treason without insurance."

I nod in understanding and touch the Lannister lion around my neck. "I think I may have it."

~

I'm seated at my desk when my page opens the door.

"You summoned me?" Jaime asks and I nod.

"I did. Ser Barristan is occupied and I am due for my lessons."

"Lessons?"

I stand and unsheath my sword. "Yes, my lessons."

He sighs and asks "Are you trying to get me into trouble with your mother?"

"When aren't we all in trouble with her?" I ask and he can't argue with that. "I haven't seen much of her, she is well?"

He seems surprised that I'd care. "You know your mother."

"I do, but not as well as I might wish to," I tell him and sigh "With this new role I've taken on I've found myself wondering how she's handled her responsibilities for so long. I know when she was my age she wishes her father saw her as he saw you. And now I understand, I wish for her to see me as she sees Joffrey. We may not be twins but he is a Baratheon the same as I."

I watch his reaction carefully, he almost seems amused. "Well, he does seem to take after your mother more than his father."

"And what of me?" I ask him, touching my hair styled as my mother styles hers. "Do I take after her?"

"Well, you are her daughter."

I shake my head, putting on my act. "She hates how I look like my father, yet everyone tells me I look just as she did when she was young. Just as beautiful. Do you think so Jaime?"

He's caught off guard.  

"Well I- yes I suppose so," he says awkwardly and I force tears to come to my eyes. "Oh gods what is it?"

"If I am as beautiful as my mother then why did he leave me?" I sob, and sit back on the step, looking up at him. "I thought that if a man truly loves a woman then he would do anything for her. Kill for her. And yet he joined the fucking black."

He sighs and sits down beside me. "Sometimes a man may do something like that because he loves a woman." He looks at the necklace around my neck and smiles sadly. "When a man knows he cannot marry the woman he loves, that it's impossible, he'll do irrational things. Like joining the Black, or even the Kingsguard. To preserve what honour they both have left."

"My mother told me of a man who loved her," I begin carefully. "That he loved her and she loved him, but she was forced to marry my father and the man she loved, well, he never wed."

And from the look in his eyes I know, and realise part of me has always known.

"Well, knowing your mother I can understand why," he says quietly. "The things we do for love."

I dare to tread even further. "You would do anything for my mother wouldn't you Jaime?" I feign innocence at the question. "You'd do anything to protect her."

"Of course I would," he swears, and in the fierceness of his voice another question is answered that I don't dare ask.

That he would start a war for her.

For their children.

~ 

I arrive to the small council chamber with the intention of raising my marriage plans, only to see my father seated there. No one says anything as I pull up a chair beside Renly.

"Why is he here?" I whisper to him knowing it can't be good, but before I can answer Ned enters and my father looks up at him with a newfound sense of purpose.

"The whore is pregnant."

Wide eyed I feel offence then remember it's not me on trial this time. For a moment I wonder if he's referring to my mother then Renly whispers to me "Daenerys Targaryen."

"Oh," I realise quietly "Well that certainly isn't good."

I find myself inside my own head at the consequences this will have for us all as my father and Ned argue over the best solution.

"You're speaking of murdering a child," Ned exclaims but I know that she is hardly a child.

Daenerys would be my own age, quietly I remember that she is a distant cousin of mine. Her and my father share Aegon V as their great grandfather. 

"I warned you this would happen, back in the North I warned you but you didn't care to hear," my father grumbles. "Well hear it now. I want them dead, mother and child both, and that fool Viserys as well. Is that plain enough for you? I want them both dead."

The words are harsh however I know it is necessary. Viserys should have been killed years ago.

"You will dishonour yourself forever if you do this," Ned argues, he's an honourable man. Far too honourable for the Red Keep.

"Honour?" my father exclaims as his voice raises into a roar. "I've got Seven Kingdoms to rule! One king, seven kingdoms. Do you think honour keeps them in line? Do you think it's honour that's keeping the peace? It's fear, fear and blood!"

The words are true but even so Ned dares to reply "Then we're no better than the Mad King."

All of us draw an anxious breath as my father warns "Careful Ned, careful now."

"You want to assassinate a girl because the Spider heard a rumor?"

"No rumour my Lord," Varys assures him. "The princess is with child."

Princess. A girl who some would consider as having a greater claim than my own. A reminder that my father was a usurper, a reminder that myself and my siblings aren't the only heirs. The Mad Kings wife had managed to escape with a son and give birth to a daughter. A beggar king and a princess married to a Dothraki warlord. A khaleesi.

If this isn't dealt with we will have war, it may be years but it will come. It is a war that Joffrey won't be able to face. Although Jorah Mormonts whispers are those of a slaver they are not false, Varys is never wrong.

"We commit murder on the word of this man?" Ned exclaims in disbelief.

"And if he's right, if she has a son?" my father asks him. "A Targaryen at the head of a Dothraki army, what then?"

I hang my head as Ned replies "The Narrow Sea still lies between us, I'll fear the Dothraki the day they teach their horses to run on water."

"Do nothing, that's your wise advice, so nothing til our enemies are on our shores?" my father scoffs before yelling at us all "You're my council, council! Speak sense to this honorable fool."

"Ned," I say carefully, praying he will at least consider what I have to say. "As this girl is my own age I feel I can speak on this. It is not a thing any of us wish to do but to avoid bloodshed and war in the future it is necessary. Say her and Viserys lead an army to our shores in months time it will be carnage, and say it is not them but her Dothraki son that decides to conquer us all, Joffrey will likely be king then." I make my statement clear with no room for doubt. "To speak bluntly he will not be capable enough nor have the strategic mind to be able to fend off an attack from them, and he will be too arrogant to listen to our generals. if we do not end this now then we will be conquered and all of us who stood against them murdered."

The council shares a cautious look a my assessment of Joffrey but I do not fold, especially not as my father actually considers my words seriously. Ned can see the sense in it but his honour forbids it, he would lose his own head before his honour.

Varys and Pycelle continue to try to speak sense but he silently shakes his head until Renly bluntly states "We should have had them both killed years ago."

I give him a look knowing that although I agree, it is certainly not the way to put it and continue for him. "Ned, if your honour forbids you to accept this then I can also accept that, we all can, but you can not deny the threat that they pose. Have Viserys killed as he is the last male heir and once Daenerys gives birth we can find a way to deal with her and the child. A way that doesn't involve them being slaughtered like-

I quickly cut myself off to protect myself from my fathers rage but Ned knows what I mean, slaughtered like the other Targaryen children. They say Rhaegars daughter was stabbed fifty times, hacked to pieces. Gods nothing disgusts me more than what they did to the children and Elia Martell. My grandfather might not have ordered that level of brutality from the Hound but he certainly didn't condemn it.

As much as I know Daenerys's death is necessary this girl is my own blood no matter how distant and I pity her. A princess forced to marry a Dothraki warlord who I'm sure is not kind to her. She doesn't deserve this, but Viserys I've heard whispers of and he should certainly be killed. If she remained in exile with the child and withdrew her claim then she could live but who knows what a Dothraki son with the blood of a Targaryen may do.

I cannot blame Ned for opposing this, I do as well in my heart but I know it must be done. He nods in respect to me but his eyes still burn as he looks to my father "I followed you into war twice without doubts, without second thoughts, but I will not follow you now. The Robert I grew up with didn't tremble at the shadow of an unborn child."

"She dies," my father insists remaining firm, and we all hold our breaths knowing how this is going to end.

"I will have no part in it."

"You're the King's Hand Lord Stark," my father sternly reminds him. "You'll do as I command or I'll find me a Hand who will."

I watch as Ned removes his badge and places it on the table in front of my father "And good luck to him, I thought you were a better man."

"Out!" my father roars as Ned leaves the room "Out, damn you, I'm done with you, Go run back to Winterfell! I'll have your head on a spike, I'll put it there myself you fool! You think you're too good for this? Too proud and honorable? This is a war!"

My father goes on and on but I'm no longer listening. If he's threatening to put Neds head on a spike then the war has already begun. I need to decide now whether to make an ally or an enemy of the Starks, and to solidify the alliance another.

~

The council dissolved quickly after my father took his raging to another room, and so that evening after much deliberation I summon Margaery to my chambers.

We have little time to waste, and I need allies before I step forward with the knowledge I have.

The best way to form alliances is with marriage, but we need something faster than that, and well, Margaery's propositions to me before I left to wed Robb have stuck with me.

The door opens and she seems surprised that I've summoned her this late "Cassana, is everything alright?"

"War is coming, sooner than I thought," I tell her. "Alliances need to be made now."

"Cassana, unless you have proof-"

"I have enough proof that I could have my uncle Jaime killed and my mother imprisoned," I tell her and her eyes widen. "I cannot say what yet for the safety of Myrcella and Tommen. I do not want this to end in bloodshed which is why I must be careful. But I promise you Margaery, that in the end House Tyrell will surpase the wealth and influence of the Lannisters, but only if you take a risk and side with me. With the heir to House Baratheon and this throne."

"How can I be certain this is what is best for my house?" she treads carefully and I resort to her own techniques.

"Tell me Margaery, would you rather fuck Joffrey or me?"

My boldness takes her my utter surprise, to the point she clears her throat. "Pardon?"

"Let's face it, with where your family wants to be you'll be getting into bed with one Baratheon or another," I proposition, taking a sip of my Dornish wine. "Choose."

She seems impressed, proud even and smirks "Well, that is a captivating proposal you make."

I watch as she brings a hand to the front of her dress where it secures, bringing attention to the low neckline, all while smiling at me. She runs her fingers along the edge of her breast, and feel my head grow light as she exposes herself to me, removing the vest of her dress. I watch as her nipples grow hard from the coolness of the air and feel my own respond the same.

I find myself standing and walking to her with barely restrained haste, wanting to know what it is like, wanting to explore.

Wanting to forget him.

My lips meet hers and I find my hands moving to the front of my own dress, fumbling at the laces all while moving her back towards my bedchambers, pushing the door open and in mere moments I find her back against the bed while I hover over her, her knee between my legs.

For a mere moment I pause, wondering what the hell I'm doing and where this came from, but just as quickly I push those doubts aside and accept the proposal she made to me before I left for Winterfell, while she accepts mine. And for the first time I understand the role of sex in politics, especially when it's as sweet as her touch.

As her lips.

And know there is no going back now.