Scar: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah. I sure hope it does.

~

What's the Haps?

Yes I'm actually working on things, but I have to slow down on them because of school.

So ya...

~

Pixl: Hey Zloy whatcha got there?

Zloy: A knife!

Pixl: No!

~

Grian: Hey there! I'm the lovable guy from your favorite series!

Me: Oh boy! It would be a shame if someone were to write dark fanfiction about you.

Grian: What? Why? No-

Me: *giggles* Oh yeah.

Grian: No! NO!

Xisuma: Hey how have you been liking Hermit- I'm just gonna leave...

Me: *maniac laughter*

Grian: NOOOOOOOOO!

~

Evil X: I am the master of darkness. The sealer of fates. The scurge from the underworld. And I won't stop until all the heroes of light are destro-

Fans: Oh my gosh you are the cutest little thing.

Evil X: I- what?

Fans: I love you, you're precious, and I just wanna hug you!

Evil X: I will literally kill you.

Fans: Oh you're a little feisty when you're angry huh?

Evil X: Wh-what is going on?! My backstory is tragic-

Fans: *blissful sigh*

Evil X: I wish to do the hero harm-

Fans: Yeah you do.

Evil X: There should be absolutely nothing to make you react like this-

Fans: Awwwwwwwwww

~

Joe: *pulls up to a yard sale* Hey! Are y'all sellin yards?

~

Just for some context here, I have an idea pool filled with lots of ideas, but I'm not using any of them because there are 6 works in progresses (in my notes) that I'm going to name.

Me: *le gasp* I think I have an idea about a oneshot! I think I'm gonna write a oneshot!

The Stays: Oh are you now?

Me: I- Yes, wait who are you?

The Strays: Don't you remember me?

Me: Uhhhmm...

The Strays: I am one of your works in progress!

Me: Oh! Oh.... Heyyyy... hi...

The Strays: But am I really a work in progress? You abandoned me 2 years ago!

Me: N-no no! I promise that I finish you- I promise!

The Bad Guy: For me it was 5 years ago!

Me: Yeah- uh you too!

My Demons: 7 years ago!

The Supernatural: 8 years ago!

Hallways: 13 years ago!

Demonishness: Like a week ago. You got tired of me real fast.

Hallways: Cry me a river.

The Strays: So, gonna finish that new story this time are ya?

The Bad Guy: Finish writing..

My Demons: Finish writing..

The Stays: Are ya?!

The Supernatural: Finish writing...

Hallways: Finish him...

Demonishness: Finish us...

The Strays: Are ya!

Me: *runs away* AHHHHHH

The Strays: We'll be here! A reminder of your failings!

~

Iskall: *spying on Mumbo and Grian* Two bros, chillin in a hot tub no feet apart cause they are gay!

~

Xisuma: Mumbo, could you read #23 for the class?

Mumbo: No I can not. What up? I'm Mumbo, I'm 19, and I never learned how to fuckin read.

~

Wels: Hush hush hush.

Jevin: hm?

Wels: Blush blush blush.

Jevin: uh-

Wels: You are now my big fat crush!

Jevin: What?!?

Wels: I'm single as I can be

Jevin: 0///-///0

Wels: You're single, perfect for me.

Jevin: What's happening?

Wels: I'm gonna give you a bunch of reasons why you should date me.

Jevin: I swear if this is a joke-

Wels: Reason #1- I'm super hot.

Jevin: Are you by any chance intoxicated?

Wels: Reason #2- she's super not.

Jevin: Who's she?

Wels: Reason #3- I'm all you got, and all you've got is someone hot!

~

Tango: When I went to find my kiwi, I looked inside the pantry.

Police Officer: ok, but what does this have to do with the reported screams?

Tango: When the pantry no have kiwi, I looked at my roomie.

Police Officer: Where is your roommate?

Tango: My roommate ate my kiwi, and so I ate my roomie.

Police Officer: You're under arrest.

~

Iskall: Hi! Welcome to Chili's!

Or the better version-

Iskall: Hi! Welcome to Sahara!

~

Wels: *walking by* And they were roomates.

Ren: oh my god they were roomates.

~

Ren: Doc, look. It's the good kush!

Doc: This is the dollar store, how good can it be?

~

Previously on my life...

Biffa: Still just sittin on this couch.

And that's what you missed on-

Biffa: Me!

~

Cleo: Hey guys look at this cool dress that Stress picked out for me. SIKE! It's a jumpsuit you were fooled! Ha Ha Ha!

~

Jevin: *playing a flute for some reason*

Cub: Look! It's a snake charmer!

Jevin: Hey Python!

Python: ?

Jevin: You're cute.

Python: aww stawp.

~

Cub: Hey Scar, what do you want to eat?

The souls of the innocent.

Scar: A bagel.

No!

Scar: Two bagels.

~

Xisuma: There's only one thing worse than a rapist.

Iskall: A child.

Xisuma: No-

~

Xisuma: Hey everybody, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to ban him from the server. The benefits of banning him would be that I would get pushed way less.

~

Mumbo: Emergency?

False: Somebody at our prom has been killed, please help.

Mumbo: Okay then, well calm down. We don't want a panic at the disco.

~

Zed: Look at all those chickens.

~

Ren: What I was thinkin- *notices he got hot potatoed by Stress*

Ren: I can't believe you've done this.

~

Grian: *screech*

Joe: Ahhh! Stahp! I could've dropped my croissant!

~

TV: Who's that Pokemon?

Joe: It's Pikachu!

TV: Clefairy!

Joe: FRIIIIIII-

~

Grian: In Renbob's campervan, vroom vroom.

Renbob: Get out me campervan.

Grian: awww

~

Wels: Look at this graph.

~

Iskall: Why the heck you lyin? Why you always lyin? Mmm oh my god stop fricken lyin!

~

Cub: Go to Sahara Eats because they have a new thing called Fre sha vaca do

~

Impulse: Jevin, I have one question for you. WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE!

~

Ren: Mother trucker dude, that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick.

~

Biffa: An avacado... Thanks!

~

Tango: I don't get no sleep cause of y'all! Y'all not gon' get no sleep cause of me!

~

Iskall: A potato flew around my room before you came in.

Or my favorite version-

Iskall: A potato flew into the Sahara system and broke it.

~

Joe: You know what? I don't care that you broke your elbow.

~

I may or may not be thinkin about the There's a Butcher Around chapter.

Biffa: Chuck this shite I'm out. *jumps in trash can*

~

Biffa: Oh hi, thanks for checking in. I'm still a piece of garbage.

No insults were thrown at any hermits during the writing of this vine, just horrible references

~

Scar: Is there anything better than cats? Yes, a really nice painting.

~

Evil X: *startles Xisuma*

Xisuma: This is why mom doesn't frickin love you!

Evil X: pfft-

~

Zed: Oh, would you like some? *passes over Iskall's empty soda*

Iskall: This is empty YEET!

(You should know what he did to that can)

~

Iskall: We actually have a chip reader now.

Grian: Oh yeah? *pulls out Torito*

Iskall: Oh, it's not gonna work with that kind of *beep* chi.....

Sahara System: TRANSACTION COMPLETE.

~

Joe: Let out the sounds that are trapped in your mind.

Grian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Joe: Grian? Are you ok?

~

*Iskall falls through the ceiling*

Stress: Hey Iskall.

Iskall: Hey Stress.

~

Russian Santa because he's definitely part of the hermitcraft server: You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout or I'll stab your fucking eye. Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. Let me into your fucking house! He's making a list, and checkin it twice. You better leave out some vodka with ice.

~

False: Hey I'm lesbian.

Ren: I thought you were American.

~

I have a very big decision to make, who's video do I watch first? Zloy or Grian?

Let's just watch Toby then because this is breaking my mind.

~

Tango: As Tango and Impulse watched the sun set, they pondered their new beginnings and how life could change so quickly, for they were stuck in the caves and on the mountains, but now-

Zed: Hey! Shut the f*** up I'm trying to sleep!

Tango: They have BEDS FOR THE BOYS!

Absolutely nobody is going to recognize this one, unless Rex recognizes it. Rex if you're reading this and understand it just know, I GOT BEDS FOR THE BOIS!

~

This literally ran for much longer than I thought XD