Paris, 1992.

Part II

The plan of dressing up and having a lovely dinner between girls was of course quickly ditched. I called Jeff to the room number he gave me, and he explained that dinner with the band would be 'super chill' and just them, some other people they had invited and a few members of the crew.

I went for a simple yet elegant black slip-on dress, black ballerina shoes, my straight dark blonde hair down (I am tired of always having to keep it up in a bun for work), a delicate gold necklace, tiny earrings and red lips. I have no idea how I manage to put on a perfect red lip, it's like one of those experiences where you can't really see yourself as you do things.

Giada went for a beautiful, crisp oversized white blouse, high-waisted black trousers and flesh-colored stilletos. She says it's something she bought earlier that day and the latest fashion in Paris. She looks stunning in her oversized jewelry and earth-toned makeup, all the rage in the catwalks. Her hair is up in a ponytail, her curls dance as she walks. She looks like a model. She could be one for all I know.

We check ourselves out in the elevator mirror. Giada smiles to me, throws her arm over my shoulder and tells me "we got this."

I know neither of us is relaxed or chill.

Jeff said he would escort us to their table and so he did. I can't remember much of anything as we approached the table, but once there and once this long-haired guy turned to look at us and stared for what seemed like an eternity, I knew.

There he was. Stoney Gossard again, after 10 long years.

As I said he has long hair now, full, thick, down below his shoulders. He'swearing a brown jacket, nothing too special. He looks older now. He looks like a man, and yet, some of his boyish looks remain. But his eyes. His eyes are exactly as I remember them. Big, hazel, so expressive.

"Look what the cat brought in," jokes Jeff. He's amused to see Stoney's eyes open as two plates.

I can almost hear the wheels turning in Stoney's brain, trying to figure out if it's really us, the two girls who fell madly in love with him at the same time in high school.

"Ciao, Stoney," Giada finally says, not before having her own voice cut by a burst of nervous giggles.

"Fuck me, man. It's really you!" Stoney exclaims as he sprints up and walks up to Giada, who by this time is covering her mouth with her hand and is getting emotional. I am still frozen, holding my breath. I can hear Jeff's distinct laughter as a distant sound, although he is right next to me.

"What in the goddamn world are you doing here?" Stoney asks Giada as he faces her and looks at her intently. All she manages to say, saving all details, is that she is here for a holiday with me. And so he swiftly turns to look at me. I think he hadn't seen me before, that's fine, I'm still used to being a bit invisible. He says nothing, he just brings himself to me and embraces me in a hug that at first I'm unable to respond to, but soon enough my body gives in, exhales and hugs him back, around his waist. I'm brought back to the last time we were ever like this. His scent is the same as back then.

"I am so sorry," he whispers into my neck. I split from the hug, and look into his eyes, trying my best to utter word.

"Why?" I smile.

"Well, you know." He shrugs. "All these years and no..."

I know. And he is forgiven. I look down for a second, smile and nod as I squeeze his arm gently. The electricity when I touch him is still there.

He commands the others to leave seats for us, Giada to his left, me to his right. Funnily enough, the evening carries on and it's like we had never ever lost touch. Of course, we are in the presence of other people, so the subject of us dating him at the same time does not come up... not at least until most of us are in the verge of officially being wine drunk. It soon becomes the main topic of conversation at the table. We try and tell everyone how we did it. The others laugh, teasing and joking with Stone about how on Earth he could hook up with the two exchange students at the same time.

Me and Giada soon become acquainted to the other guys in the group, Mike the lead guitarist, Dave the drummer and Eddie, the face of the band, the lead singer, who is there with his girlfriend Beth and makes sure we know she is there. He speaks slow and has a way around him that, right there, appears calm and collected, the complete opposite of him on stage, as the other tell us.

We explain Stoney what we've been up to: Giada and her acting, after which he tells us they had minor roles as themselves in a film coming up soon. Then Giada reminds him that his acting debut had been alongside her in Romeo and Juliet. Then I tell him about my job as a flight attendant and how I still want to become a pilot. He seems pleased and happy for the both of us, in fact, although he and everyone else seem tired, he's in such a great mood, throwing his usual jokes here and there. I can see he has changed, he has grown up, but the Stoney essence is still present.

He takes turns to speak to each of us. Whenever he turns to me, with that sweet face of his, my heart jumps. I figure that if I had met him just now, as a brand new person... I would've fallen for him just the same. I tell him I still keep the Paris book he bought me all those years ago, and that, in fact, I bring it with me every time I come to Paris.

"And now we are fulfilling that dream. See? I told you." he says confidently and takes a sip of his wine. He was right. He knew it even back then.

They all seem so natural about this. They all know they have a gift, they know the Universe brought them together and they are happy to share this gift with the world. I am happy for them but even more for Stoney, of course.

I cannot bring myself to call him Stone.

"So, the time has come for the question!" He hits the table gently. "Marital status! Come on, fill me in, girls!"

Not my favorite topic of conversation.

Giada takes the lead. "I am not with anybody right now. I want to focus on my career-"

"Ah, bullshit! That's bullshit!" Stoney cracks up. "All beautiful girls say that! I'm sure you have a line of men after you."

"Well," I say, "She has actually gone out with Johnny Depp, you know, this actor."

"There you have it!" Stoney raises his hand.

"That didn't last!" Giada laughs.

Stoney turns to me. "And how about you?"

Ugh. I really, really don't want to elaborate on my love life and especially about that failed marriage. "Um... well, to make a long story short, I have tried, but I haven't had much luck." I say after clearing my throat. "I'm taking time for myself now."

"Wise choice." Stoney shurgs, complacent. "Because no man deserves any of you. Except me, of course."

"Very funny!" Giada jokes. "But you haven't told us about your marital status."

"Well, um," he clicks his tongue, "you know how it is in this world. We're still young, we travel too much, it's hard to keep-I mean I had," he chuckles, "I have someone back home, but-"

"Oh, Stoney, please!" Giada hits his arm gently and teasingly, "Don't tell us you fall for the groupie game."

"No, no, but, you do get to meet a lot of people while touring." He tries to justify himself. "A lot of interesting people. Or, you unexpectedly encounter dear people from your past... So, you know, one has to keep their options open."

***

I woke up today with a pounding headache and a raspy throat after all the wine and loud speaking, but with a smile on my face.

I saw Stoney Gossard after 10 years, and it was fantastic. There were stories, there was catching up, there was a bit of innocent flirting... we had dinner with a famous rock group in Paris... and still it seems like it was just us, the three of us, having coffee at the usual joint there in Seattle when we were in high school.

Me and Giada are having a little pick-me-up breakfast at a nearby café. I look across the table at my friend and her giant sunglasses. She sips on her coffee and looks serious. I imagine her hangover feels even worse than mine. But I'm still smiling, plus the ambiance of this little adorable café overlooking the city and the voices around us just add up to everything.

And we are going to see Pearl Jam tonight.

"Adri," Giada sets her cup over the little plate with a clank, "I need to tell you something. Last night, Stone and I... we..."

"Stone? Just Stone?" I'm suddenly brought back. "What happened?"

"Nothing! I think." She takes a deep breath. "Um, well, after we all left dinner, he called my room. I told him to come over. We talked, we laughed and joked and..." she waves her hand, "we surely kissed, and we fooled around. And we also had an honest conversation, as honest as the alcohol in our blood let us."

I can't pretend like my stomach didn't instinctively drop, because it did. But my common sense soon takes over again. This has nothing to do with me anymore.

"Giada, it's okay," I reach out for her hand, "you don't need-"

"We woke up with our clothes on from last night." She blurts out. "In my bed, together, yes, but with our clothes on, not even tucked in under the covers. I presume we just got more drunk and fell asleep like that. So, we didn't have-"

"Giada," I say firmly, "even if you did, it would be okay. You don't need to explain anything to me. We said we wouldn't pick up from where we left, plus, it's been so long! We were kids back then!"

"Adri, I just felt like I needed to tell you, because it's clear that he still means a lot to both of us!"

Time to come clean.

"Okay, Gi. Not going to lie, I felt the butterflies and the electricity and everything, but..." I try to stare into her eyes behind her shades, "I do not want to fall in love with him again."

There is a pause as she looks to her side, perhaps trying to find the right words. I hold my breath. If circumstances were different, then maybe, yes.

I do admit I'm having a hard time keeping my feelings at bay.

At the same time, I must face that if any of us, me or Giada, went on to become romantically involved with Stoney today, it could get complicated.

It would not be a silly, teen game anymore.

We cannot share him again.

"Me neither." Giada says.

Hm.

"Are you sure?" The question just comes out of me.

"We had fun last night, but..." Giada whines, "This is more difficult than I thought it would be. He's so gorgeous, and gallant, and interesting, and beautiful, and... his voice, his hair, his eyes-"

Yes, I know.

"I agree. Gi, please, don't worry about me." I insist. "If you want to go have fun with him..." I bite my lip, "even if you want to have something more than just fun with him, I'm not going to stop you!"

Giada sighs, in resignation. I know her common sense is kicking in too and having a fight with her heart and her true desires.

"We had such a great moment together. A true, heartfelt moment. He told me he was so happy to see me again, and I said the same. Even though we didn't go all the way, we enjoyed each other. It was so emotional. We had our moment."

I smile.

"And we said that would be it. The end. Reason prevailed. Okay? Vabbè." Giada chugs down her orange juice in a second. "Let's just not talk about this anymore. None of this was part of our original plan for our trip, so, let's enjoy our day out today, or try to, at least... My head is killing me!"

We both laugh. Indeed, this headache is getting the best of us, but we must ignore it. We ask for the check, we pay and we leave, and start walking down the street in silence until I decide to break it.

"Gi," I mutter, "I still want to go to their show tonight."

Giada smiles, "And we're going!"