Paris, 1992.

Part III

Message

À : Mademoiselle Adriana

De : Carpenter Newton

Recontre moi au Pont des Arts

6 :00 pm

S'il vous plait

When we arrive back to our hotel after a day of walking around Paris, the front desk clerk hands me a message from one Carpenter Newton, asking me to please meet him at the Pont des Arts at 6:00 pm.

I don't need to think too much about who this is, I can still recognize his messy handwriting.

I read the little piece of paper again and again. Up and down. My head and my heart debate on what to do. When I look up, Giada is starting at me intently, with a hint of a smile.

"Adri, go meet him. Go. If you don't, you will regret it forever."

I sigh.

***

It's beginning to get dark, and I try to find him in the crowd in the bridge. I finally spot him. He is wearing the same brown jacket as last night, a white t-shirt, jeans and boots... I now wonder if he brought any more clothes on this tour.

"I was afraid you wouldn't show up." Stoney says as I walk up to him, the cool breeze playing with his hair which is now tied in a half-ponytail, that looks so good on him. I struggle to breathe and tug my own jacket against myself, not because I'm cold, but because I'm freaking out inside.

"I'm not here to see you." I grin. "I'm here to meet some guy named Carpenter Newton?"

"Turning my own jokes on me." Stoney shrugs. "Well done."

"Ay, Stoney." That's how I used to tease him back in the day, with an 'Ay,' and he loved it. He chuckles.

"I'm still a little... out of it." He exhales. "This encounter with you two was completely unexpected."

"It was." I nod. "We truly had no idea."

"Adri," he sighs, "I wanted to say I'm sorry again for not keeping in touch."

"Stoney, it's fine!" I try to reassure him. "I'm just happy you're doing so good."

"I'm happy you're okay, too," he smiles, and again, I'm struggling to keep composure, "and that you're still after your dream. So," he clears his throat, "I didn't want to miss the chance to talk to you, catch up, one on one."

I nod. "Like you did with Giada last night?"

"She told you?" Stoney chuckles, and so do I. "Well... we did catch up, nothing more."

"No explanations necessary." I shake my head. "I mean, we're not-"

"Please, don't." He cuts me off. "Do you feel it too? Tell me you feel it too."

His breathing gets heavy and his eyes want to find mine again.

"Feel what?"

"This..." he gesticulates with his hands, "This fight within yourself between what's an obvious course of action and wise choices and... what your heart really wants, which is to pick up from where we left off?"

To pick up from where we left. Exactly what we shouldn't do, but...

"Yes." I admit. "Yes, I do feel it. And Giada does too, but," I shake my head almost frantically, "we can't, Stoney. We are not in high school anymore. We're adults. Our lives have changed. It's too complicated and people could get hurt."

"I know, I know. I'm aware of that. I just..." Stoney looks away again, to the river, and then back at me. "It was nice to go back, to feel sixteen years old again, in a way. Last night, at dinner, and then with Giada. To have a break from this insanity I'm living now. I didn't know but I longed for it..."

I didn't know that I longed for it too. It took me a while to wean myself of my teenage infatuation for Stoney. I eventually did, and life happened, but my heart never really forgot about him and I'm realizing just now. I bite my lip discreetly, and I nod at him in agreement.

"Adri," he approaches me, his voice trailing off, "I couldn't wait to see you today. I still can't believe I'm seeing you now."

"Me neither." I smile nervously. "And I'm so happy, so, so happy, but-"

Then, in a whim, he gently tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, comes really close and joins his lips with mine. I almost don't realize until my eyes close automatically and I breathe him in. This reminds me of our first kiss, my very first kiss. He brings me closer to him by placing one hand on my waist, and the other delicately cups my face. This kiss is not fierce, not imposed. It's sweet, almost timid, almost like it wants to be more.

But I pull away.

Still with my eyes closed and feeling his soft warm breath on my skin, I whisper:

"I don't think we should be doing this, Stoney."

"Really?" He says in a whisper too. "You really think so?"

This time, it's me who goes forward and kisses him. Now our tongues are dancing together like they used to, ten years ago. They had not forgotten this choreography. As we kiss I let out a soft moan which makes him press me closer to his body. We don't care if there are people watching us, it's like it's just us, in this bridge, in Paris.

He parts from my lips and I try to catch my breath.

"Please, Stoney." I whimper. My reason is still trying to take control.

"Let this be our moment, okay?" He speaks up and I open my eyes. "The moment we dreamed of when we were kids. Here in Paris. We're here now, together. Let's just have this."

I get lost into his eyes like I always did, but I am not sixteen anymore and I'm not in Seattle. He is right. It's 1992, we are here together again... and so, it is time for me to finally ask that question.

"How can you feel this way for me and for Giada at the same time?"

"I don't know." Stoney replies within a millisecond, confident of his answer. "I didn't know then, I don't know now and I'll probably never know. And I don't care."

I stroke his cheeks gently and I keep staring into his eyes, like I want to tattoo them even deeper into my mind. His eyes that I never forgot, his eyes that I'll never forget. I want to have this moment too, more than anything right now.

I will never forget my first love.

So we have our moment. We kiss some more and I throw my arms over his shoulders, holding him tight. We say nothing, we just stay there until dusk becomes night.

"Promise me something?" Stoney says as we're both still hugging each other, looking again at the river and the lights reflecting on it.

"Hm." I smile. "Depends."

"Oh, no," He snickers, "just promise."

"Fine." I roll my eyes playfully.

"When we, the band I mean, get our own private jet," Stoney breaks from the hug and gently, with his hand, he cups my chin and makes me look at him again, "you'll fly it."

"Okay," I laugh, "It's still a long way to go for me to become a pilot but..."

"That's alright." He says. "I will find you and make you fly our jet."

***

I can still feel his hug and his scent around me, even though I'm wearing a different set of clothes now.

After the Pearl Jam show, which was flawless, energetic and full of raw emotions, we say our goodbyes and the band departs to their next tour date.

Once their bus disappears from our sight and we're alone, and perhaps to lighten the mood, Giada jokes saying that she always had the feeling Jeff had a thing for me and that she could see it even now. I have no idea. He never mentioned anything, and truth be told, I was always too smitten with Stoney to notice.

Maybe he did, but who's to know now.

All in all, if we are to stay in touch, I prefer to keep these crazy but sweet boys as just good friends.

We are not sure if we will see Stoney, Jeff and the rest again, although we exchanged numbers and addresses, but the truth is our lives are so hectic we just don't know at this point.

My dear Giada and I are still a little emotionally struck, but we are happy. We are together, we are about to (now officially) embark on the trip of a lifetime... and we both just had our moment of rekindling with Stoney Gossard from Seattle, our very first love.

THE END