Sooo this entry is about Lidcap. It's a massive city, and they really like skyscrapers. Like, they really like skyscrapers. And pointy buildings. They like them too.

No offence to Lidcap, it's my least favourite city. I guess it's just too modern for me. don't get me wrong though, it's a great place. Everyone's very smart, and there's the biggest library in Doodladia there, accompanied by a fancy university that I don't know the name of. I think it's called Bicerdoodle or Inkyinklemayor or something long and hard to spell.

Anywho, I was taking a tour around the famous Staedtler Gallery in the heart of Lidcap. It's basically the only old building, and it's a pretty amazing piece of architecture. It is designed to look like a mechanical pencil, 113.5 centiscwiggles* high with a rotating spiral staircase inside. The only problem was the tour guide. Imagine a hyper five year old, a patronising teacher that treats you like a toddler, a bag of makeup and an annoying hairdresser rolled in to one, short package of irritation. Boom, you've got yourself Trixabella Melissa Stacy Helvettica Pinkheart.

She was a nightmare.
The whole two and a half hour tour she didn't stop talking, and I'd say only 3.4% of it was about the paintings. If you tried to ask a question about the art, she'd cut you off with "soz, thas ish nana mine potluck," which translates to "sorry, that is not my department," but I know for a fact that it is. Because that's her job. She also gave us nicknames, and they weren't very nice. The man next to me (he was kind of fat - no offence) was called Butter the whole time, and I was called Fuzzy because of my curly hair. I had to restrain myself from punching her the entire time.

After the excruciating experience of Trixabella I went and experienced the rest of Lidcap. Apparently swooshy hair is super common around here. I was walking down Llamameat Road near the Goose Emporium when a gang of dudes who all looked like Edward Cullen swaggered past me. They were properly swaggering, winking at girls and high fiving guys. I accidentally hit one of them in the face with my rucksack in my attempt to hide. I laughed awkwardly and smiled apologetically, but they all looked genuinely upset and one of them looked angry, so I ran.

That concludes my Lidcap adventures. I don't think I'm going back in case the Edward Cullen gang attacks me.

*centescwiggles = a Doodladian measurement. It's equivalent to 2.453 meters.