46

It's Nice

"So," I mumbled, stepping carefully from out behind the curtain of the makeshift dressing room, "What do you think? Too much?" With nervous fingers, I whisk a loose curl back behind my ear and lift the bottom of my pink bridesmaid gown; twirling halfway around in my spot.

From where she sits perched comfortably on one of the bridal shop couches, her legs swung over one side of it and her back against the opposite, Bryana peeks her head from around the screen of her cell phone to glance at me, "Nice."

"Nice?" I repeat, almost hesitantly. I had fought and pleaded with my mom to get this dress -- this dress that wasn't bleeding hot pink glitter and frills -- for it to be, "Just nice?"

She nods halfheartedly, and I scoff; whirling around to face the mirror behind me. The dress came down to the middle of my shins and had pretty, pale pink, chiffon straps that crisscrossed almost halter like across my chest. Only for some weird reason, one that I don't exactly remember, the bra cups are almost a size too big; noticeably sinking the only actual boobs that I had. At the sight, I turn back to look at my cousin; hooking my finger into the neckline, and forcing it down with a sigh.

"Is it just me, or does this thing look absolutely kind of hideous on me?"

She blinks, "Absolutely and kind of, are two different things." Then her brown eyes look back down at her phone screen, and I watch as the corner of her mouth quirks up into a smile, "But hey, you said it."

I roll my eyes, and look over at Ashton, "What do you think?" The tall boy looked almost all legs folded into the small white couch that he occupied. His eyes were also concentrated down on his cell phone, and for a second I felt a brief jealously towards both of them before calling out to him again. He shifted positions in his seat, winced, and looked up at me before muttering, "Huh?"

"The dress, what do you think?"

His hazel eyes drew down to it and he shrugged, "I think you're asking the wrong guy."

That doesn't exactly help, Ashton."

He smiles, "Well, dresses aren't exactly my expertise, Annie."

A groan escapes from my mouth, and the curtain of our reserved area is pulled back as my mom walks in, followed by Andrew and Liv. Despite the fact that her hair is beautifully curled and shiny -- probably Liv's doing -- she's super dressed down in cutoff jean shorts and an orange novelty t-shirt with a Sunkist soda logo splayed across the front of it.

In all honesty, she looks like the last type of person who you would expect to be getting married within the next week, let alone someone who would be occupying an expensive bridal shop. Her brown eyes finally meet mine, and she pauses; blinking confusingly. Then out of nowhere, she lets out a small giggle, her teeth biting down over her bottom lip to silence it.

I frown, "Does it really look that bad on me?"

Before she can say anything back, Liv steps around her to get a look at me. With a sigh, she holds her palm up to her head, "Wow okay, Annie. We should um, get you settled first then." With that, she turns to my mom with an anxious smile, "You know what we need?"

My mom nods, and together they say, "Mimosas."

Liv flicks her blonde hair away from her face, turns to glance over her shoulder and calls out, "Can we paying customers please get some assistance over here?" Then her blue eyes look back over us and she grimaces, "Bryana, please get her out of your dress before it's ruined. "

From behind me, Bryana laughs, and I turn to glare at her, "This is your dress? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask," She shoves her phone into the side of the couch and jumps up with a smile, "Aw come on, don't be mad. At least it gave you a proper C cup."

Rolling my eyes, I hike up the bottom of the dress and turn to head back towards the dressing room. Only, Andrew motions with his head in an attempt to gain my attention and I have to stop. He looks around, "Where's Luke? I thought he rode with you all in his truck?"

At the sound of Luke's name, the thought of this morning comes rushing back to me, and the knot in my stomach that I've been trying to ignore tightens. Reaching up, I drag a curl behind my ear; an attempt at acting nonchalant. "No actually, we took mine. Bryana drove."

On cue, she looks away from the mirror she's currently posing in front of and turns towards Andrew, "Which by the way, is a pretty freaking awesome birthday gift if you ask me."

Andrew smiles back in acknowledgment, and Bryana rocks coolly back on her heels before saying, "You know what else would be really pretty freaking awesome? " She glances over her shoulder at my mom and raises her voice, "If Annie had a cell phone. Then, she'd be like the coolest girl in this neighborhood."

My mom is too busy swilling complimentary flutes of champagne and OJ with Liv to hardly notice us, and Andrew is already looking down at his cell phone, typing a text to Luke. Bryana looks back at me and flashes her eyebrows; translation: "I tried."

I roll my eyes; translation: "Not hard enough."

Andrew's phone notifies him of a new text almost immediately, and even though Bryana is already back posing in the mirror and I should be heading towards the dressing rooms, I wait around to see what it says. Andrew glances up at me still standing there, and then he turns his phone screen towards me; his blue eyes rolling in annoyance. "He overslept."

And despite the fact that I know that's not the truth, I playfully shake my head at him and smile anyway. "Of course he did."

--

    "Plus, the bikini was made so that I had this permanent wedgie the entire time and in the end, I had these really annoying tan lines that lasted me a good month. Thus, the worse modeling gig I've ever had."

    With a nod, Bryana takes the pin she's holding from between her teeth and pushes it into my hair. We're both sitting out in the front of the bridal shop now appropriately dressed, and while we wait for my mom to model some dresses for us, and despite my obvious disinterest, Bryana uses the time to tell me her modeling horror stories.

    "What's cool?" She wonders.

    "What you just said."

    "Which was what exactly?"

    "About the uh, you know." I glance up at her. Her brown eyes are staring expectantly down at me, and I sigh. I'm caught, "I don't know, I wasn't listening."

"I knew it." She smirks, pushing another pin into my hair. Her finger plucks the bridge of my nose and she rolls her eyes "If you don't want to hear my stories, I'll just go tell them to Ashton. At least he appreciates my conversation. Pin." 

And I know she's only joking, but I feel bad. "Sorry," I sigh, reaching into her purse to retrieve another hair clip. "I'm just really tired."

     "Why? Did you and Luke have a w--" She doesn't get to finish her statement because the curtain slides back and Luke walks into the room. I take an involuntary step back, the pin falls, and she turns around to face him. Bryana laughs, "Speak of the devil and he doth appear." Her hand lifts in a wave, "You do realize that you're extremely late, right?"

    Rolling his eyes, he steps inside and closes the curtain behind him, "I'm aware. Is my dad here?" From where I stand, hidden behind Bryana's shoulder and out of his view, I watch as he reaches up and runs a hand through his hair.  I can't help but notice how tired he looks. Shadows rest underneath his eyes, and he's still wearing the same hoodie he had on this morning.

    "He's with Ashton. They went next door to get everyone bagels for breakfast," explains Bryana. "But hey, you can stay here and wait, if you want. I promise I won't force you to try on a dress."

    Luke looks around uncomfortably at the white walls, hung with pearl encrusted wedding tiaras, veils, and lace leg garters, and frowns. Taking a step back towards the curtain, he shakes his head and points his thumb over his shoulder, "Nah, that's alright. I didn't intend on staying anyway. Just tell him to call me?"

    I don't know why, but I almost feel bad that he doesn't want to stay. It's a selfish thought, considering that not everything's about me, and his reasonings are probably way beyond me but I can't help it. In my head, it's because he doesn't want to see or talk to me.

    He heads to the door, and Bryana glances over her shoulder at me; eyebrows furrowed confusingly. "What's his damage?" She mouths.

    And what do I do? I lie, "Beats me."

She rolls her eyes and turns, "Hey, Luke!"

"No, what're you doing?" It's almost as if a weight of anxiety drops a million pounds on my chest, and I reach out and clutch her forearm, violently shaking my head. A silent plea for her to stop.

"Why?" She whispers.

What I really want to say is, "Because he hates me." But then she'll ask why and I don't want to have to explain this morning, so I shrug; awkwardly reaching up and nervously tugging on my earlobe. "Didn't he say, he wasn't staying?"

"So what?" Brown eyes roll, and she places her hand on her hip before spinning around to face him. His eyebrows are furrowed together in confusion and she steps from out of my way so that he and I are both staring at each other.

His face is unreadable, and maybe I was expecting some sort of reaction from him, but in all seriousness, I really can't tell if he's either surprised to see me or upset that he couldn't have gotten out of here fast enough without having to.

He blinks and turns back to Bryana, "Did you need something?"

    And just then, I understand what rejection feels like; a kick to the stomach.

Bryana glances at me and then gushes, "Well um, since you're here, would you mind telling me what you think about Annie's hair? We need a second opinion and you're here now, so it really wouldn't make sense for us to walk all the way across the shop just to get Liv and Claire's."

Her hand reaches back and grabs my wrist, tugging me forward. I hadn't gotten a chance to even see what she had done to it, and while I try to force myself from thinking about how I can get the floor the open up and take me away, I take a small glimpse at myself in the mirror beside me.

My hair is pushed back off my shoulders now, pinned neatly behind my ears with sparkling pins and if it weren't for the unruly curls that hung loose around my ears, I'm pretty sure Liv would be proud of Bryana's work.

Nevertheless, I feel sick to my stomach and I just want to go home.  "Bryana, can you just please st--"

    She raises her voice, drowning me out, "What do you think, Luke?"

He doesn't even look at me, "It's nice."

Bryana blinks and dryly repeats the same words that I had asked her earlier, "Just  nice?"

Reaching up, he runs his hand over his face and then turns to stare at me. Underneath his gaze, my cheeks flush and I can't help it -- I apprehensively reach up and try to shove my loose curls back behind the pins. And maybe he notices how nervous I am because he takes pity on me and his expression noticeably softens; slight amusement and anxiety combined in one wary look.

Luke clears his throat, and looks back towards Bryana, "I uh, really got to go. Can you just tell my dad I need him? Thanks." With that, he takes a step back and practically flings himself toward the curtain.

"Wow," Bryana mumbles, with a low laugh. "Either he's pissed at you, or just seriously emo."

    As the curtain flutters back in place behind him, I reach up and angrily yank the pins from out of my hair. Curls fall back into a tangled mess around my shoulders, and I fling the small hair clips onto the couch.

"Annie," Bryana blurts. "What are you doing?"

    I ignore her, and yank another one out; throwing it down on the carpeted floor. I can feel myself wanting to cry, and I force my eyelids to stay open so that I won't.

"Is this about for Luke?"

"No," I sniffle. Another lie. "I just don't want to wear my hair like this. Can you help me take these out."

"Calm down, An--"

"Please," I cry. "Just take them out."

"Alright." Reaching forward, she gently combs the last few pins from out of my hair and sets them aside. I'm aware that I'm full on crying now but she's my cousin, and she doesn't tease me or snicker or smirk as she uses her knuckles to wipe my tears. "Maybe he was nervous?"

I hiccup, "I never said this was about him."

"Sure you didn't. Now, come on. You have like fifteen minutes to tell me what happened between you two before Ashton and Andrew come back. I refuse to let guy problems ruin a good bagel."

--

    After spending almost the entire day in the bridal shop, my mom finally agrees to let us go home. I'm incredibly tired and hungry and after I shower, I realize that my decision to decline Bryana's request to eat junk food and watch TV in the living room with her, might be the smartest decision I'd make all day.

    "Are you sure?" She questions, as she rips open a box of Apple Jacks, and shoves her hand in it. "We can watch a Tom Cruise movie. I know how much you like him."

    She's dressed in one of my pajama sets, and even though she's taller than me and the pant legs end above her ankles, she easily makes it look high-end and fashionable as she maneuvers around the kitchen looking for food to satisfy her snack binge.

    I smile tiredly, "Actually you like Tom Cruise. I just liked that one movie he did with Cameron Diaz." Reaching forward, I pluck a single Apple Jack from her bowl and toss it into my mouth, "I'm just gonna go on to bed."

    "But it's the summer! Only lame people go to bed at ten o'clock!" I know she's just trying to cheer me up after this morning, but I'm too tired to go along with it.

   I back up towards the kitchen door, "Guess I'm lame then." Then before she can try to persuade me to come back, I hurry up the stairs and towards the bathroom so that I can brush my teeth. To my surprise, when I push open the door my eyes land of Luke. He's standing in front of the mirror attempting to tie a tie around his neck, and I blink startled.

    "Oh, um sorry." I mutter, "The door was unlocked, I didn't know you were in here."

    Blue eyes look up at me, and I watch as Luke's hands stop their fiddling as he stares back through the mirror. For a minute, it's quiet and in an attempt to take the attention away from me, I awkwardly motion towards his suit tie, "You uh, you got the knot wrong."

    Luke looks down at it and rolls his eyes before gripping the top of it and yanking it lose. Turning around, he leans against the bathroom sink and glances up at me, "Today is really not my day, huh?"

    His lips form a small pout, and despite myself and the fact that his words clearly seem to have more meanings than one, I shrug slightly. "We all have our days." I cautiously take a small step into the bathroom, and when he doesn't say anything, I assume it's all good and walk over to him.

    "Need help?" I mutter, flushing with nerves.

    Luke nods, and his blue eyes come to rest on mine, staring impassively down at me. "You know how to tie a tie?"

    At this point, he's so tantalizingly close and his scent is intoxicating; warm, aromatic, and incredibly sexy. there's no way in hell that I'm gonna tell him the truth. So, I assume it's easy enough, step closer in between the parting of his legs and nod quickly before reaching forward and gently taking it between my fingers, "I got this."

    Only, after five long minutes of me fiddling with and completely failing to tie the damn thing, I can't help but let out a frustrated sigh. "What kind of sorcery is this?"

    When I glance up, I catch him watching me intently. For a second, I almost believe that he's mad that I'm clearly wasting his time. But then out of nowhere, he smiles shyly; his teeth biting down on his lower lip, stifling his grin.

    He looks simply adorable and I blink, taken aback. "What?"

"Giving up already?" 

    He's teasing me? With a small smile, I try to relax as I make of point of clutching the longer end of his tie and looping it across the shorter end. I push the end through the small knot I've created, and tuck it upwards underneath his chin; then I take a step back to get a better view. It's all wrong. Tilting my head to the side, I narrow my eyes and look up at him, "Well, I mean you can always tell people it's a new trend."

   
    Lips form a dimpled smirk and he turns to glance at himself in the mirror, "I think I'll be better off with a bow tie."

    "Maybe." With a small laugh, I reach forward and set out to unknot my mistake. Biting my lip to keep from smiling, I let his untied tie rest around his neck and I lightly run my finger over the collar of his t-shirt before shyly looking up at him, "So, it's probably too late to tell you that I didn't actually know how to tie a tie, huh?"

    "Just a little bit." He whispers. Then before I can say anything else, he reaches up and catches the back of my hand in his; his thumb gently running across my knuckles. It's such a simple touch, but I can feel my breath catch in my throat when he does it.

    "Come here." Luke reaches out, grips the front of my t-shirt, and drags me closer to him; not wasting a second before he's leaning down and brushing his lips against mine. And not the careful, almost pleading for permission, kind of kiss that I was so used to getting from him. But instead, fervent and intense and demanding. Like, he needed to kiss me and wasn't gonna take no for an answer. My hands press against the cotton material of his shirt, feeling the steady pace of his heartbeat underneath my palms.

    Soft lips captured mine once again, and for just a second, in the back of my mind, -- the sensible part -- I figure I should probably pull away. I came to apologize for earlier, and more importantly to see if he was actually okay, and that's what I should focus on doing. But then, his lips are parting mine and I'm in too deep. My hands slide down his chest and I slip my arms underneath his t-shirt before wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him closer to me.

    We kiss for a while longer, and finally when I feel like I can't go any further, Luke pulls back. He gazes at me for a moment, and I have no idea what he's thinking.

"What?" I whisper.

"I missed this pretty face all day." His voice is low and quiet.

    For almost the millionth time today, I have to act and pretend like I don't feel my stomach do its usual low dip, and with a wary smile, I pull my hand back as I take a step back. "That uh, reminds me," I whisper. "Luke, we should probably talk about earlier."

    His jaw tightens, but he doesn't say a word. Letting my eyes shut briefly, I take in a small breath and prepare to work out the apology I'd conjured up all day just for this moment. "I'm really sorry about answering your phone. Calum told me that someone needed to talk you and I don't how I forgot to tell you. I guess, I just didn't know how important it was, I'm sorry."

    His eyes soften, and he reaches forward to grab me around my waist. "You didn't have to apologize."

    "Actually, I did. I just ... I want you to tell me what's going on, Luke." I say softly and wait anxiously to see if even now after he's forgiven me and we've kissed and made up if he'll tell me. I feel his arms tighten around me further, but it's his only response. Which only means, that he's not going to talk.

    "You don't want to talk to me," I whisper. It's a statement, but the words hang in the air like a question. Reaching back, I gently unwrap his arms from around me and take a step back. "Why?"

    Luke closes his eyes with a sigh, "It's not that I don't want to." He stops, shaking his head. Fingers reach out intertwining with mine and he pulls me forward towards him again. "Can we just forget about this?"

    I shake my head, ignoring his request, "Why can't just you tell me?"

    "Why can't you just trust me?"

    "That's the thing, Luke. I do trust you. I trust that you would tell me something that meant this much to you. That you would wanna share your problems with me."

    Luke let go of me then, taking a step back and I watch as he ran both hands through his hair, "You wouldn't want to know."

"Try me."

    "I can't, Annie." He says simply, and he suddenly looks young and vulnerable. Reaching out he touches my hip again, "If you really trusted me, you would just accept that."

With my hand, I reach up and pull his hand away from my waist, taking a step back completely out of his reach. "Whenever you're finished with your secrets, we should practice that dance we have to do at my mother's wedding."

"Annie," he calls. "Wait."

With a soft smile, I turn back in the direction of the door, "I'm fine, Luke. Do what you need to do." Then I hurry away from him, once again.

---

AN - 

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