Note: So I was bored and decided to go back and do some other entry choices. I had initially started out with the interview, but felt it was wrong for my character, at least for an entry to a contest. It wasn't how I wanted to first introduce my character. But I wanted to go back and give you all a little glimpse of a few other sections that are before the arena and how my character responded to each.

I stand behind the stage, watching the other tributes as they talk to each other or stand in stony silence. My heart pounds, and I rub my hands on my pants. They're slick and clammy. The air conditioning blasts over me, making me shiver.

I'll be first.

I don't want to do this. I don't want to talk about myself or let people know who the real me is. The real me is a monster. But mostly, I'm angry with them and myself.

Until I'm actually put into a kill or be killed situation, the predator in me doesn't take hold. I still see everyone around me as living, breathing people who don't deserve death. They're not my prey. They're as scared as I am, even if they pretend otherwise.

I'm one of the ones who's standing alone in silence. Since I've been standoffish with my fellow tribute from 1, I have no one to talk to. The other Careers tried, but I couldn't seem to force myself to participate. Their callous air about this whole thing needles me and reminds me of a past I want to avoid.

For a brief moment, I wonder if my adopted family is cheering for me or not.

No, they won't. They don't care about me. At first they tried to act like they could love me, but I knew better. They never loved me. I wasn't one of theirs, and they couldn't understand why I was angry at them.

I was fine on the streets. When they found me and put me into the Lakesons's home, I had finally managed to make a name for myself on the streets and fight my way to the top. I didn't want to leave it all.

And I didn't. No matter what they did, I wouldn't let my guardians force me to stay away from the fighting ring or the streets.

Now I'll face this whole thing alone. Just like I always have. I've never had anyone to rely on, and I don't now.

The crowd is going wild as Rohe SeNalla's voice comes over the loudspeaker.

She has a gentle, soothing voice, and her smile is almost contagious as she appears on the screen behind stage. I find myself wanting to smile back at her on the screen even though I'm angry and hurting.

"First up will be Azrael Thanatos from District 1. Everyone give him a big hand, please!" She waves to me as my stylist gives me a gentle push towards the stage.

I keep my head down, looking at the floor with my hands in my pockets. This is probably the first time anyone has ever seen a tribute in jeans and a button up shirt here, but I refused to allow my stylist to dress me up. These people need to see the real me. I don't change just because other people want me to. No, I go according to my own conscience. If it doesn't seem right to me, I won't do it. It doesn't matter what others think.

Finally, I bring my head up and meet the gaze of the audience. They're quiet, unsure of what to think of me.

Time to put on a show. With a bare flicker of a smile, I wave at them and walk to the center of the stage.

The crowd starts clapping and cheering.

I catch a glimpse of myself on the screen. Electric green eyes that smolder with defiance and anger meet my gaze. So much for disguising my fury. It burns in my every movement and lights my eyes with an unholy fire.

SeNalla clears her throat and smiles at me. "Azrael... This is a first. Most people wouldn't have the guts to show up in jeans and a button down. It really says something about you. Mind explaining that to us?"

We sit down, and I laugh. "Yeah, sure." Turning toward the audience, I lean forward. "I'm wearing casual clothes because you need to see the real me. The real me isn't full of fun and games, and I'm not much for dressing up. My clothes aren't me, and never will be. Plus, I'm a fighter, and I don't like being restricted."

SeNalla nods when I look back over at her. "That's quite a daring move on your part. Well, we don't have a lot of time, so I have to ask, is there anyone waiting for you back home? Will your family or girlfriend be cheering you on?"

I lean back in my chair and shrug. Time to put on the mask. They shouldn't find out what I went through as a kid. They shouldn't know what I've buried, and I'm not about to tell them. "I don't have anyone. I was adopted, and my guardians don't see eye to eye with me. We barely speak. Oh, and there's no girlfriend."

A few laughs come from the audience. I guess they don't believe me. Not sure why.

SeNalla gives me a confused look. "No one? Not even a girlfriend."

"Nope." I pop the "p", hoping to annoy her or at least come off as nonchalant.

It doesn't seem to ruffle her, so I'll go with nonchalant.

"Very well... I'm sorry to hear that." She did sound genuinely sorry.

That put me on guard. She's one of them. Being sorry isn't in their vocabulary. What they do to us is heinous, and yet they never feel remorse. Is this a trick, or does she really feel bad? "Yeah, it's not that big of a deal..." I wave it off.

"Everyone here should have someone to love them or cheer them on," SeNalla insists.

"Well, I don't."

She sighs and moves on. "Azrael, you didn't act scared or even triumphant at your reaping. Most tributes are one or the other. We can't figure out what you were thinking. Could you give us an idea of what was going through your mind?"

I smirk. "Yeah, why not? I was angry. I don't think I've ever hated something or someone so much in my whole life. Maybe once, but that person is gone, and I haven't felt this way in years."

"What way?" SeNalla leans forward. "Why angry?"

"Like I'm ready to rip someone else apart. And angry because you'll turn me into a monster." My voice trembles. "I can't help it... I'm a predator, and when you put me into situations like this, that's what I become. I can't bury it or fight it. And I don't want to be that."

I didn't mean to admit that to everyone in all of Panem. It just came out in a rush.

Her voice is a whisper. "Who do you hate, Azrael?"

I look her in the eye as my throat tightens. This is a horrible idea. I'm going to be sick. "Myself," I whisper back. "I hate myself."

"Yourself?" SeNalla frowns. "Why?"

"Because I wasn't strong enough to stay away. I wasn't strong enough to kill myself or force you to do it. Instead, I let you draw me in with the fight. Even though I know this could kill me, I still have to do it." I lower my head. "I'm a coward. The worst kind too... I know so many ways to end my life. You wouldn't be able to stop me. But rather than doing that, I decided to let myself be put into a place where I'll become the monster I hate."

Everyone is silent.

I don't think I could've surprised them more if I'd tried. No one would expect a tribute from 1 to say something like that. But it's at the root of why I'm still here. The reason why I've refused to ally with Careers. And it's the reason why I despise myself so much.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But for what it's worth, I don't think you're a coward." SeNalla puts a hand on my arm. "What you think?" She looks to the crowd.

Everyone shouts their protests, and none of them seem to agree that I'm a coward.

It doesn't matter. I am what I am. They can't change that.

I'm a coward who doesn't have the strength or will to deny the beast inside me that hungers for the thrill that killing brings. I can't deny it any more than an alcoholic or drug addict can deny their next drink or fix.

I really am going to be sick. Before the buzzer can ring, I come to my feet. "I'm sorry... I have to be done. I just..." Tears are starting to flood my vision as I rage at myself for my weakness. "Thank you..." I can't even finish. I just rush off the stage.

SeNalla is standing in shocked silence, watching me leave. I run past the other tributes, shoving someone when they try to get in my way. I can't leave the stadium building, but surely there's a quiet place to run to.

Wherever it is, I'll find it. If they want to stop me, they can shoot me. I don't care anymore.

I really just don't care.

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