Luka, Logan, Willow and Shawn sit on borrowed cushions from the unused chairs in the castle. The balcony we're on was littered with leaves and bird poop but after some cleaning, it makes a nice seating area. It had been locked off in fear that the younger kids would end up falling off of it but Aaron has taken them all on a hike.

He didn't even say anything to the rest of us. He just left first thing in the morning as a cue for me to tell the others about my plan. He's made it crystal clear he wants nothing to do with it.

"Spit it out, would you? I have no intention of staying if this is supposed to be some kind of tea party," Shawn says, picking his fingernails.

Logan raises his hand like we're in a classroom. He didn't even bother to change out of his pajama bottoms. "If this is a meeting then how come Aaron isn't here?"

"Because he's too busy being petty," Luka says. "He wants to be in charge like always."

There's a plate of cookies in between us with the usual three flavors. He takes the vanilla one and hands me the strawberry one. It's become a rehearsed exchange.

"He is kind of bossy, isn't he?" Willow chuckles to herself. "Remember when we left the island to get supplies? And we ended up getting tattoos?"

When Willow sees my perplexed expression, she elaborates. "This was back when Aaron actually let people other than himself off the island."

"He was so pissed when we didn't get those matching mountain tattoos with him," Shawn adds, sharing in her laughter. It's a nice sound. If only he wasn't so grumpy all the time.

"He has a tattoo?"

Willow nods. "On the side of his stomach. You didn't notice it at the lake yesterday?"

"We didn't really speak yesterday." I break the cookie apart and eat the filling, remembering that he flat out ignored me for the rest of the day.

"What is he being petty about?" Logan asks. His deadpan expression rests in the palm of his hand.

There's no use in dragging it out anymore.

Taking a breath, I relay the news. "I'm going to be the one to go back on Nakpuna's ship."

No one reacts at first. I nervously wait for someone to say something. Anything.

Shawn is the first to speak. "You're being serious?"

"I already said this to Aaron but I think it's smart," Luka says. "It's ridiculous that a seventeen year old is supposed to pull all this off but if one has a chance, it's Dovie."

I knew Luka was supportive of my decision from what Aaron told me yesterday but hearing him say he believes in me is refreshing after the harshness of Aaron's reaction.

Willow's lips curl down. In the few weeks I've been on the island, I'm already familiar with her crying face. I know the tears are coming. "I hate to say it but I thought it should be you. It just makes the most sense. I wish there was another way."

"But why can't the insider do it all by themself? Why is this all on us?" Logan's turns red as he speaks.

I've had that thought before. I never understood why my parents had to put the weight of keeping their business afloat on me or why this group of kids had to endure so much trauma without much support. It's natural to ask "Why us?"  but with how senselessly twisted this world is I think a better question is why not us?

"The insider will have a huge role but whoever it is will need someone else on their side," I answer. "Charlie will help too. He'll be working the angle of Nakpuna's home life."

Shawn raises an eyebrow at me. "Why isn't he here then?"

I press my hands together. He really should be here. "He just got on the island. I didn't want to drag him back into this so soon. Besides, his part is not as complicated."

"How are you planning on getting caught?" Luka leans forward, his chin in his palm. "If you're trying to sell the idea that Charlie and you ran away together, why would you guys come back?"

"Maybe you're out of money?" Willow proposes. "You come back to steal some from your parents?"

"I like the first part but there's no way I could steal money from my parents. I wouldn't risk it. It's not believable."

My parents have more security in place to protect their money than they have protecting their home. If it came between guard rails or a safe the decision would be made instantly.

"Do you have someone else you would go to? Like an aunt or cousin who would go behind your back and let your parents know they saw you?" Luka asks.

Brendan. His name is a splinter in my brain that I can't remove.

"My brother. He'd probably turn me in."

I haven't seen Brendan in years. The last time I had a full length conversation with him was at his college graduation five years ago.

Luka is staring at the chocolate cookie. It's the one José would always eat. "He doesn't know about Nakpuna?"

"No but even if he did, he'd probably stay out of it. We're not close." It might be unfair for me to say this but he hasn't given me any reason to think otherwise. If anything, it helps to state this as a fact. If I don't expect him to care, I won't be disappointed when he doesn't.

"You seriously think he'd sell you out?" Logan asks.

I don't answer.

"For what it's worth - " Luka says, picking up the chocolate cookie and breaking it in two, " - if I was your brother, I wouldn't."

He hands me the second piece and we share a somber, knowing smile.

When the meeting wraps up, I notice Shawn lagging behind the others. While I'm picking up the cushions to return to their chairs, he hovers over my shoulder.

"Can I help you with something?"

He clears his throat. "I wanted to say something on Aaron's behalf."

I turn around, folding the cushions against my stomach. "Is he that mad at me? Now he's sending you, of all people, to talk to me?"

"No, he didn't send me. I just think you should know that he isn't trying to be a jerk." When nothing shifts in my demeanor, he sighs. "We've all dealt with things differently, alright? He's dealt with it by being an immature, control freak. We all have our issues."

I scoff and place the cushions in a pile beside me. "Pretty soon I won't be your issue anymore."

Presenting my choice to the group has made it final and I think Aaron knew that. He was counting on me to chicken out but I didn't. I can't take back my proposition and now my fate is sealed in blood. It gives me hives just to think about the amount of fury that awaits me when I go back - from both Nakpuna and my parents.

"It takes guts to go back to that place." Shawn bites his lip, looking at the exit but not moving towards it. This has to be the longest he's ever spoken to me. "You know, over the years I've learned how to defend myself. I could teach you some moves in case you run into some trouble on your way off the ship."

The idea sounds so radical coming out of his mouth that I almost laugh. "You trying to make up for how mean you've been to me?"

"Hey, I have a lot riding on your success. I don't want to stay on this island forever."

The thought of the boys existing outside of this island and outside of Nakpuna's ship has yet to occur to me. I wonder what Shawn's life would look like if he could freely travel wherever he wanted without having some researchers going after him. I wonder how quickly the little ones would get adopted and what would happen if the older ones aged the system out. Willow once told me some of them had been kidnapped. Would their real parents find them again? Did Shawn's parents wait up every night hoping that it would be the day he returned home?

"Alright." If Shawn wants to form a truce, even if it is out of pity, I'll take it. "Count me in."

+++

I spend the majority of the day hidden up in my room sketching. The drawing of Aarom is complete. He's standing up against our meeting tree with daisy's sprouting up along the grass beneath him. He's smiling - the smile that he reserves for when he is flying or when he is about to kiss me. I carefully rip the page out of the book and tuck it in a draw so I won't have to see it every time I open my sketchbook. Right now, seeing it stings.

My new sketches are of all the boys and Willow. Some part of me believes that once I leave, I'll never see them again. The drawings are my way of capturing them. Remembering them. I outline their faces as the sun journeys across the sky. By the time I decide to take a break, it's nearly on the horizon.

I end up in the kitchen poking around for a snack when I spot Willow and Zeke with their heads shoved under the sink.

"What are you two doing?"

Willow and Zeke jump in surprise, both of them simultaneously banging their heads on a pipe.

"The sink is leaking," Zeke says, rubbing his forehead. "We're trying to fix it but we keep making it worse."

"Sometimes things need to get worse before they get better." Willow flashes him a stiff smile. She wipes her hands on her jeans with a hurried desperation. "You're smaller than me so you should be the one to keep looking under there."

"But I don't even know what I'm looking for."

"You'll know when you find it!" She gets up, relaxing as we get some distance from the sink. "By the way, someone snatched up your best friend."

"What do you mean?"

She gestures to the archway leading to the garden. "See for yourself."

Outside, I find Shawn and Charlie throwing a ball around. Charlie has a hint of a smile on his lips and I know he's thought of something funny. He's always had a knack for observing the little things that no one else does. He notices the mannerisms of people or the irony of situations. His inside jokes are literally inside jokes. He keeps them inside his head. By being his friend, I've been let in on some of them but sometimes I think he keeps them from me just to draw me in closer, to keep me on the edge of my seat leaning towards him.

"You have a good throw," Shawn says, catching the football against his stomach with a wince.

"Thanks. I'm my baseball team's star pitcher but I prefer playing as a batter."

It's kind of unbelievable that these two are getting along so well. Shawn should hate Charlie more than he hates me but here he is kissing up to him.

I intercept Shawn's throw and take off with the ball. "Touch down!" I shout when I reach the neighboring trees.

Shawn rolls his eyes. "That's not what we were playing, dummy."

He definitely likes Charlie more.

A shout erupts from inside the castle along with a sound like sprinklers going off. I imagine that Zeke might have made the leaking sink a bit worse.

"I better go see what that's about," Shawn says, jogging back inside.

The air goes quiet as he leaves the two of us alone. Charlie crosses the space between us, gesturing to the field of grass.

"Wanna take a walk?"

I nod and we walk side by side out of the garden area. We're close, close enough for our hands to brush against each other. I take a step away. In our silence, I notice that it will be dark out soon. Aaron and the boys haven't come back yet.

"How is your leg doing?"

I glance down at it. Most of my leg is covered by the maxi dress Willow put snuck into my closet as a 'friendship gift' as she called it. I think she just pities me since I told her I'd be going back to the ship.

"If a killer was chasing me, I probably wouldn't out run them but I've come to terms with that. I did it to myself anyways."

My leg staggers behind the rest of me when I take a step. It doesn't hurt if I keep it from strenuous activity but it does bug me that the limp stands out. I shrug. I never had a chance at modeling anyways.

"It stinks though, doesn't it?" he says, tucking his hands into his back pockets. "You'll never be able to cheer again."

The days of being top of the pyramid feel so far away. It's a shame there are no cheerleaders for baseball. I would have enjoyed cheering for Charlie.

"Being tossed in the air is overrated." Especially when you've experienced the real thing: flying. "Why linger on it? It's not like you pushed me off the crates. If anything, you helped me."

The memory of the pain I felt after hitting the ground makes me wince. I don't know how I looked at that moment but if it was anything like I felt, it was bad. My consciousness faded in and out. What kept me from losing it when I was awake was the feeling of Charlie's hand in mine, the touch of his hand against my cheek.

"I didn't help you." His voice deviates from robotic to strained. Everything on his face crumbles. "I held you and watched you die."

My hand reaches for him.

"I'm sorry. Obviously, you didn't die." He clears his throat, suddenly occupied with the sleeve of his tee. "I just thought you would. If you would have seen yourself . . . "

Again, I am smacked with guilt.

I place my hand back at my side.

"I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have been reckless and jumped."

Charlie steps over a patch of dirt, his gaze fixed on the ground. He should be making a sarcastic comment in response to lighten the mood. That's what he usually does if things get too serious. It never comes.

"The situation forced you to."

That wasn't what he was saying when we were at the hospital. His reaction was far less gracious. "I hate you" were his exact words. His reassurance is louder against Aaron's criticism from yesterday. Charlie understands why I jumped. It doesn't seem like Aaron ever will.

"Maybe when all this is done and we get off the island, you can get physical therapy or something."

I shrug. "I don't know where we'll be when all this is over."

The suggestion feels like an apology though I don't know what he's apologizing for. Either way, therapy feels out of my realm at this point. In a few days, I'll be marching right back into a place that induces physical and emotional injury.

Charlie pauses a few paces away from Aaron and I's spot, the leaves underneath his sneakers crunching. I didn't realize we were close to the meeting tree or that we walked this far.

"And what about the migraines? Do you still get those?"

I come to a stop as well, holding a branch away from my face. For a second, I worry that somehow he knows about what happened at the docks right before he arrived. He can't know about that though. "Sometimes."

"When I was on the ship, I saw that some of the symptoms from the injection trials were migraines. I connected the dots and figured that's what you used to get when we'd hang out."

Charlie had gotten access to my patient files? We are planning to stage a whole conspiracy to get access to those but he's telling me he already did.

"I never asked - how did you get onto the ship?"

"Used my nephew status."

"Oh."

I can imagine that worked up until Nakpuna found out. Then he got that bruise on his cheek.

He rubs his bottom lip with the back of his thumb. "I did some looking online and found this prescription drug that helps people who have extreme migraines."

Another disguised apology.

"You don't need to fix everything," I say. "You didn't cause any of this."

He falls back against a tree trunk with a huff. "I know but my uncle did."

I roll my eyes, not to be sassy but because I can't believe he thinks I would hold his uncle's crimes against him. "All you two share is a home."

"That's too much for comfort."

A heaviness settles on my chest. It seeps into the crevices of my heart and hardens until the muscle cracks.

"I don't see him when I look at you if that's what you think."

He abruptly steps forward, close enough that I can see the brown in his eyes in the dwindling sunlight.

"Then what do you see?"

My breath catches in my throat.

I couldn't tell him if I tried. All of those thoughts had been locked away ages ago. There's no use in pulling them back out when they won't be reciprocated. I have two years of silence on his end to account for his decision. Charlie doesn't love me like that. He doesn't see me like I see him. Despite this, the words are roaring in my head. I dare myself to tell him anyway.

"Sound off!"

"One, two!"

A group of heads emerge from deep in the woods. They're marching in sync - or as in sync as they can get - with Aaron guiding them along. Jimmy has two stripes of dirt across his cheeks that I'm already itching to wipe off.

The sky is changing into a purplish blue. They made it back in time to beat the night.

I step back from Charlie.

The moment is gone and so is the opportunity for honesty.

He's fixed on the group, rubbing his thumb against his lips again. "I don't know what to make of Aaron. What do you think of him?"

I forgot that Charlie had seen him kiss my cheek. He has to know something's going on between us. He's testing me.

I reply as neutral as possible. "He's nice."

He tilts his head at me, drilling a hole into the side of my face with his eyes. I refrain from squirming and hope that my blush isn't too obvious. "Just nice? Isn't he kind of a hero around here?"

"I thought you said you didn't know what to make of him."

The boys are closing in at a rapid pace and I don't want to be around when they arrive, not when Aaron and I are fighting.

"Let's go inside."

The hike back is quick and filled with Charlie's usual teasing. Whatever had been in the atmosphere earlier has evaporated. When we get inside we find Willow, Shawn and Zeke drenched in water. Shawn is wringing out his shirt on Willow's head but the leak appears to be fixed.

"Hey, you two must be parched from your walk," Zeke says, reaching for the cup on the counter. "Have some water."

He tosses the contents on us with glee. I wipe the water from my face and pick up the jug sitting behind me.

"You've started a war."

The five of us chase each other around the kitchen, nearly slipping a multitude of times. I soak in every moment knowing that in only a couple days, I'll have to say goodbye.

You know the drill by now :)