Pepper watched Tony with curious, sympathetic eyes, as he lay silently at her side. His left hand was draped over her arm, tracing absentminded patterns on her fingers with the pad of his thumb. His dark, chocolate eyes were more faded – yet darker – than usual, and Pepper noted that it wasn't just because the room was dimly lit – he was hesitant, more closed off than what was normal for the billionaire. Which of course, was normal, considering all the traumatizing things the man had endured over for a huge chunk of his life.

Really, Tony Stark had the overbearing weight of almost twelve years of trauma and life-threatening stress on his quickly weakening shoulders, that had smashed together to form just about the worst case of PTSD and anxiety Pepper had ever seen in anyone.

Although her head was tilted against the pillow so that she could gaze at him, his own head and eyes remained locked on the ceiling above them. He was lost in his endless, messy thoughts yet again, and Pepper could easily tell. The way he seemed to stare beyond the roof of their grand bedroom in the halls of the Avengers facility; it was the look that told her that he was trapped within the confines of his own mind, and something odd and unfamiliar was warning her that his thoughts were darker than normal, and that he needed to be distracted.

"Tony," she finally whispered to him, in hopes that she'd receive some sort of reaction. Nothing.

Stark was practically radiating signs of depression the second he was back on earth. The blonde figured that he'd developed the horrible disease whilst adrift in space for over twenty days, after being defeated in the biggest battle on the face of the earth and losing more than he was ready to admit. Rhodey was convinced that he had gone partially insane in his time up there, and for once Pepper couldn't find the room to disagree. He had changed, more so than she had ever seen him change before.

He didn't talk as much as he normally did, which was unusual for the otherwise non-stop chatty-Cathy that made up his bubbling personality – Tony had acted the same way for the first few months after Afghanistan, then again after New York and in a similar way after the events in Sokovia. Not to mention how horrific Siberia had been.

Only now, things were ten times worse.

"Tony," she repeated, voice inching just above a whisper. She needed him to hear, and to listen. He was a complicated man, yet Pepper was almost always able to read him like the cover of a book.

"Hm," he grunted in reply, his dark eyes refusing to leave their spot on the white ceiling. He awaited her answer patiently, as Pepper struggled with what to say next. She hadn't really thought about it, as she wasn't entirely sure he'd answer. There'd been days when he didn't seem to hear her at all, and almost seemed to forget that she was actually there.

I can't ask him if he's okay, the answer is always the same. I can't tell him that everything's going to be alright, when I can't be sure that that's the truth.

"Look at me," she spoke before she realized she had said it. When he remained frozen in place, she raised her voice. "Tony. Look at me, please."

When he finally cocked his head to the side, locking gazes with her, she recognized the all too familiar look of simply hurt, in his gentle, chestnut eyes. She also saw his attempt to hide it; the way his eyes still sparkled and shimmered, while simultaneously remaining pale and drained of life. Stark could get away with hiding his feelings from everyone else, but he couldn't hide from her. He knew that, and he knew that she knew it.

Instead of shifting the conversation towards anything that may intensify his current depression, Pepper said, "I love you."

She could tell she'd caught him off guard. Without a doubt he'd been expecting what everyone else always told him . . . "You'll be fine," or, "you'll get through this, you always do."

"Lies," he had told her repeatedly. "They always lie to me."

Well, 'I love you,' was one thing Tony could be certain was the absolute truth. "I love you too, Pepper," he responded slowly.

"No, I mean, I love you. All of you. Every part. That includes every piece of you that's hurting."

She thought he would say something like, "you're making a mistake, then," or, "that's a stupid thing to do," but much to her surprise, he nodded ever so slightly, and the corners of his mouth just barely lifted into a smile. "I'm lucky to have you, Potts," he remarked, probably sounding more sorrowful than he'd intended. "I don't deserve your loyalty, or your compassion."

She smiled, and kept quiet, before propping herself up on her elbow. Tony's hand left hers and extended upwards, softly caressing her cheekbone, before tucking a loose strand of golden hair behind her ear. With an encouraging grin, she moved his hand to the back of her neck and pulled herself to his lips, leaning down and capturing them with her own.

The kiss was quick and soft, just the kind of comforting assurance she knew he desperately needed. When they pulled apart, Pepper was met with the genuine kind of smile that made her stomach do flips. With his fingers gently teasing through the hair on behind her neck, the content look of tranquility fell from his tired features and his voice was deep and sad again. "Why me, Pepper?" She took in a sharp breath as he continued to speak. "Why did it have to be me? Why does the world have to take away everything I value? I thought, I was doing the right thing. I listened to my heart, as stupidly cliché as that sounds, and it brought me here. You're the only thing I have left, but you're the only person I ever needed. So why is it that my head is so f*cked up?"

Pepper took a moment to think. She couldn't remember the last time Tony openly questioned his woes. He was always certain he knew exactly why his life was a "living hell," and it was always because things were always his fault. He would say, "I brought this upon myself. I'm a selfish bastard who's lost their way in the world. I don't have the right to complain, yet here I am. I told you I was a coward, and all this is proof of it."

"You're allowed to lament. That doesn't make you weak, or a coward. It makes you human," she tossed back. What she was met with, very much to her shock, was another grin. It was bittersweet, however, as the expression was gone just as quickly as it came.

"I'd already lost the biggest battle in the entire goddamn universe," he murmured, voice cracking slightly. "I truly didn't think things could get any worse, until I thought about losing you."

This was where things got bad for Pepper. She felt her throat tighten, and her eyes begin to sting. How could this man be so unbelievably sincere and tender to others, and not see it himself? It confused her, at times, and frustrated her at others. How was it that he couldn't understand just how great of a man he was? Before she got the chance to bite it back, a small, tiny droplet escaped her tear ducts and rolled down her cheek.

Unlike most other times, Tony did nothing to prevent her from crying. There were no kisses, no soft caresses or sweet whispers of reassurance. He let her silently cry, and she respected him for that.

She took it upon herself to turn off the waterworks in the only way she knew how, by feeling her lover's lips move against her own, in just the way she'd grown to love for years now. He welcomed the gesture with an eager sigh, as his hand, still at the nape of her neck, pulled her closer to him. They kissed each other lovingly, silent messages that transpired through their mouths and through their delicate touches. When they detached for air, Tony shifted his weight so that he was gently pushing back on Pepper's shoulders, pushing her back into the mattress as he hovered over her.

Despite their current intimacy, nothing about the moment was sensual, and both were able to recognize that. After another minute or two of soft, chaste kisses, Tony's face fell into the crook of Pepper's neck, where he simply rested his head. She felt the scruff of his wild goatee, that had outgrown its original edgy look and started growing out again. She didn't mind in the slightest.

Her fists tangled in his silky hair, and she allowed her exhausted eyes to flutter closed. Moments like this, were moments Pepper wished she could stay in forever. If there was ever a time she wanted to freeze the entire world, it would be during moments like this.

For the longest while, Pepper Potts couldn't understand just exactly what it was that attracted her so fiercely and so intensely to Tony Stark – the curvy genius with an outrageous attitude and too much sarcasm for his own good, but a man that secretly had a tender, empathetic side that he rarely let anyone see. A man that for the longest time had been only her boss, and she his assistant. Now, though, laying here, being wrapped up in his powerfully gentle arms, hearing his heart thump gently in time with her own . . . she understood why.

It wasn't his snarky charm and flirtatious mouth, or his clever, quick-witted brain; it wasn't his devilish good looks, or very, very deep pockets – at the end of the day, none of that was what mattered. Sure, all those things were part of him, but it wasn't all of him.

She loved the Tony who was sincere and kind in total secret; someone who would take a bullet for someone he loved, but would still choose laying his life down for the universe instead; the kind of person who concealed his heroic behavior behind risqué quips and smart-ass remarks. The man who was still human and who was still flawed.

Because a man like that, a man like Anthony Edward Stark . . . was just exactly what the universe needed.

He was just exactly what she needed.

~~~~~

Hey guys.

Yes.

I know.

It's been forever.

Let's start things off with an apology that probably won't mean anything until the end of this note, but: I'm sorry.
I've been offline for what...over a month now? Tbh I've lost total track. I couldn't tell you when the last time I updated was. Anyways, I do have my reasons. One reason, is because school has (unfortunately) started again, and it's a crapton of work and effort. Homework and studying often consumes most of my evenings, and when it doesn't...I'm working on a personal project. Which leads me to the main reason I've been offline.

I'm writing a book. Like an actual, real, book.

I know this is old news to my early followers, but for those of you who don't know, my ultimate goal is to publish my own non-fiction, and fiction/sci-fi books/series. I have TONS of ideas, one idea that has currently eaten up all of my extra time.

This brings me to my next point/apology, I guess?

So, I created this account partly to find fellow fans and friends who were interested in the same stuff I was in, so that we could fangirl together, and fun stuff like that, because who doesn't love fangirling with the fandom?

But I mainly created this account to better my writing skills. I write fanfiction for three reasons: one, because it's SO MUCH fun, two, to please my audience and bring them on epic "what-if" scenarios with their favorite characters and my OC's, and three, to better my writing in general. Fanfiction, for me, is a way to advance writing. By using characters that people already know and characters that are already established, it makes the story writing process a whole lot easier, while still allowing the writer to have fun with it and try new things. Really what I'm saying, is that it's a step-off point for young writers and aspiring authors, much like myself.

So what does all this mean? Nothing, actually. I'm just apologizing for my inactivity and my lack of explanation for said inactivity. I will still be occasionally posting on this account, just not as much as I used to. My main focus is on my own books.

HOWEVER this does NOT by ANY means mean that I'm stopping any of my books or oneshot stuff, or that I'm leaving the fandom.

Lol

That'll never happen. C'mon people. Imstilldeadinsideafterendgame. Let's be realistic. My obsession ain't goin' no where hon.

But also, I might as well address the contest on my other account as well...

I have a HUGE apology to make to a BUNCH of people, mainly everyone who entered the contest and put time and effort into the submissions. Because the results are over a month overdue, I will be granting prizes to all of the writers, and will DM all of you (if you're reading this) separately, sometime soon. You'll all get a follow, a shout out, and a request written (eventually) by myself. I honestly feel horrible for neglecting the contest for this long, and for virtually disappearing on wattpad when I know for a fact that I hate when other amazing writers just disappear without a trace like I have recently.

So to sum this really long rant up, I'm very sorry to all of my followers, and especially to the people in the writing prompt contest. I owe all of you guys SO MUCH for all of your amazing support and constructive criticism throughout the past year and a half.

Well, I have a lot of catching up to do with me and my 5,702 notifications. Fun :))

That's it for now, I hope you enjoyed this oneshot, and as ALWAYS,

I love you 3000.

-Marvel_Hiddles_Stark