"What the fuck just happened?"

Namjoon held his breath instead of answering. He didn't want to cry. He shouldn't. Men don't cry.

"Fuck." The older said again, gripping the blanket tight over his naked body, one that Namjoon finally saw and was allowed to touch, kiss and hold, even if it was just a short moment.

Getting up slowly and reaching for his clothes, Namjoon quickly walked to the bathroom and got dressed, not even stopping to clean himself from Jin's liquid dripping down his inner thighs. Namjoon had to get out from the place before Jin got too sobered to feel it was all the younger's fault.

But it wasn't. At least that was what Namjoon think. Or hope.

"I should go now. Sorry." Namjoon turned his heels around and stomped away, but his wrist was tugged and he was spun around to face crying Jin.

"I didn't mean it like that." The man pulled Namjoon closer to bury his wet cheeks into his chest. "I'm angry at myself. I shouldn't take advantage of you."

"You didn't. I wanted it to happen."

Jin finally looked up. "I'm straight, Namjoon."

That hurtful tug at his heartstrings made Namjoon wince.

"But why can I only think of you these past years?"

"Hyung?"

"Why does it feel so good holding you?"

"Jin hyung, wait."

"Why don't I want to let you go now?"

Namjoon's heartbeat could probably be heard by Jin by now. "Hyung?"

"Don't go. Can we figure this out? Please."

———

Two years of 'figuring out' and Namjoon would have given up if it wasn't for the people around them accepting them as a couple, even though Jin would always, always deny it, and the occasional sex.

Namjoon wasn't sure but he thought sex every week was occasional.

"Baby, what are we?"

It was one of those days Namjoon would ask the question and Jin would answer "I don't know."

Namjoon knew the drill. He knew how the conversation would always go. They wouldn't fight. They were too peaceful and diplomatic for that.

But it would always end up with Namjoon feeling sorry for himself and Jin hugging the younger to reassure him.

This time it was different.

"I guess we're boyfriends?"

Namjoon turned to look at the older man. "What?"

"I don't like seeing you close to the other boys, knowing I have no rights to say anything. So I'm giving myself that right. You're my boyfriend. And you can only agree with me whenever me and the others argue."

"Baby..."

"Stop grinning so much."

"I'm not."

"Your fucking dimples are betraying your words."

Namjoon laughed out loud at his boyfriend's sassiness. "I love you so much."

"I think love you too."

That took Namjoon a while to process.

Namjoon had said those three words countless of times before.

This was the first time Jin replied.

"Baby?"

"What? It's about time, isn't it? No point in me playing hard to get anyways. You're already too in love with me."

It wouldn't even be an exaggeration to say Namjoon just fell even more in love, and his throat suddenly felt narrow and dry.

"You can cry, you know."

"What?" Namjoon frowned at the statement.

Jin moved closer and pulled him to his chest, and Namjoon felt the older's chin resting on the top of his head. "You can cry. You always grit your teeth whenever you're stopping yourself from crying. You don't have to control it with me."

So he did.

After so many years, Namjoon finally cried in the arms of the man he loved.

———

"Are you thinking about what they said at the wedding?"

They were in their honeymoon suite, Namjoon resting against the headboard after fishing out their lube from the overnight bag, and Jin sitting on the edge of the bed, looking nervous, his eyes dancing left and right.

"Don't worry baby. I don't mind being the bottom." He tugged the man's hand and pulled him close for an embrace. "I'm lucky enough to have you in my life."

"I want to try it."

Namjoon's body froze up. "What?"

"You'll stop if it hurts too much?"

"Baby, you don't have to."

"Be honest with me. Did it feel better to top or bottom in your previous relationships?"

"The two fleeting relationships I had? Top. But it's my choice to be on the receiving end in ours, baby."

"Jimin said it feels better for him to bottom and preferences are different for every man. I feel good topping but I can't be the only one feeling that good."

Namjoon didn't know what to think. He honestly had never expected this.

Jin was straight.

Never in a million years would he ever thought the man he now could call his husband would suggest this.

When he felt his body pushed down on the bed, Namjoon's eyes became wide with surprise and anticipation. "Baby?"

The man got up a little to remove his clothings and straddled the younger's thighs, leaning down to kiss him.

Namjoon felt a hand pulling his own towards Jin's behind and he gasped into the kiss.

"Prep me."

Namjoon did. With each centimeter, he'd stop to look for signs from Jin, asking him to stop. But the older didn't.

Not even when Namjoon was four fingers in. "You okay, babe?"

Jin nodded, his full and red bottom lip looked swollen from the biting he did, probably trying his best to handle the discomfort.

"Ah fuck!"

Namjoon had to smirk. He brushed the pad of his fingers onto the knot in his husband, where he knew all the pleasure was focused on.

"Namjoon! There!"

The fingers moved faster and before long, Jin was gripping hard on Namjoon's shoulders, moving his own hips up and down to the rhythm of Namjoon's fingers.

Namjoon kept his eyes on the older's lustful face and gritted his teeth. He needed the release too. And he felt it was too good of an opportunity not to release it inside his own husband.

Pulling his fingers out, Namjoon reached for their lube and squeezed the bottle, letting the cool liquid drip down onto his hard member. "Come down on me, baby."

"You don't get to tell me what I should do, Kim Namjoon."

The younger smiled. "Okay baby. What do you want to do?"

"Which one hurts less?"

"Straddling." Namjoon smiled softly and held the older's hips. "You want to stop?"

"No."

Nodding, Namjoon squeezed more lubricant to push some into Jin, the man moaning out whenever the younger would deliberately press against his prostate.

When he felt Jin was ready, he guided the man to his erection and took a deep breath. "Ready? Breathe okay?"

Jin nodded and when he went down, Namjoon could feel him tensing up.

"Baby, you need to breathe."

It was just the head and Namjoon was already rolling his eyes towards the back of his head. It had been so long since he felt this and it was heaven to his dick.

It took them a while before Jin was halfway down and he shook his head. "Too big."

"That's okay, baby. You don't have to go down all the way."

Reaching out to wipe at the older's tears, Namjoon pulled the man closer for a kiss and when the kiss turned passionate, Jin started moving on his own, making Namjoon groan into the kiss.

Leaning against the headboard to watch his husband riding him, Namjoon had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from moving too.

Jin needed to do this on his own pace, one that was comfortable for him.

It wasn't long before it became easier for Jin to move and Namjoon kept his eyes on both Jin's face and his erection. He was, of course, afraid Jin might not enjoy this. But that doesn't seem to be the case at all.

"Oh fuck!"

Namjoon must have brushed over Jin's sensitive spot inside and the older threw his head back, his back arched in a beautiful curve, which in turn made it easier for him to angle his body so everytime he came down, Namjoon would be pressing on that spot.

"Oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Namjoon held Jin's gradually speeding hips, guiding it to move slower but the man on top slapped the hands away.

That was the moment Namjoon snapped.

Pushing himself up, Namjoon twisted their bodies and placed a pillow under Jin's hips, kneeling between the other man's thighs to start thrusting into his moaning husband.

"Fuck! There Namjoon!"

There was this new sound escaping Jin's throat, one that was between a whimper and a moan, and it was high pitched that the small hairs on Namjoon's arms and neck stood up.

It was beautiful.

"Baby! I'm cumming!" Namjoon moved faster, unintentionally pushed in deeper and the older gasped in.

"Too deep!"

But it wasn't a bad thing.

That sudden deep thrust released Jin's cum in a form of white ropes, landing all over his stomach, hitting Namjoon's chest as well.

The sudden clench made Namjoon released his, filling the older up, to the point it was leaking onto the bedsheets and the extra lubrication made Namjoon's wave lasted longer than necessary.

Everytime he pushed in, Jin's body would twitch in oversensitivity and once he was done, Jin was hard again, making Namjoon cursed under his breath.

He reached for his husband's erection and started pumping, but he didn't get to do it long before Jin slapped his hands away again.

"Namjoon..."

If only Namjoon had his phone nearby, he would have taken a picture of Jin, sprawled naked under him, his lips swollen, cheeks flushed and eyes hazy from lust.

"Are you sure?" Namjoon asked gently, but his hips were already moving again.

Jin nodded, eyes tightly closed when Namjoon moved faster. "Namjoon..."

"Yes, baby?" Namjoon leaned down to softly kiss the full lips.

"I lied."

Namjoon stopped.

"I don't think I love you."

Fuck.

"No, I don't think I love you. I know." Jin raised his hips to meet Namjoon's and moaned quietly. "I-I know I love you." The older pouted. "So move."

————

A/N

I'm finally back!

You have nooo idea how much I have missed you. 😭😭😭

Here is the chapter unnie promised.

I'll be publishing the Taekook book soon as voted. It won't be a long novel. I think 😂

Should I do Namjin's chapter for Dating Mr. Death as well? 🤔

I'll see you guys soon! 😘

Unnie loves all of you.

And thank you for still staying with me. ♥