Song: "Not Today" by Imagine Dragons

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My relief at telling Harry all about the dreams was immense. It had been good to bring them to light and have him talk me through them. Of course they had only been dreams! I had to admit, though, that I was slightly disappointed because part of me had hoped Cathryn was really communicating with me, telling Harry how to tie up loose ends and somehow sending her blessing for us to be together. In the end, I realized that it was enough for me to hear Harry tell me that she would have approved. 

Still, I carried some level of uneasiness, maybe not even on a conscious level, but I occasionally experienced that flash of anxiety and nausea that I'd felt when I saw Harry's box with the lotus flower on it. Some tiny part of me remained unsettled, feeling that I still didn't know the whole story. Harry had even offered to let me look inside the box, thinking that was the reason I dreamt about it. I wanted to be okay with not seeing what was inside because it was between him and Cathryn. I had to allow him to have some things that were still between just the two of them; it wasn't my place to nose into everything they ever shared.

Of course, my apprehension could also have been explained by the fact that Harry's parents would be arriving in just over a week's time. Although they seemed wonderful over Skype, it was a totally different scenario to meet them in person and to have them meet me as Harry's new love interest. As much as I told myself not to worry about it, I was still concerned about living up to their expectations for their son. Last time they'd been with him, he was weak and fragile. I'm sure they knew his inner strength, but I worried that they might not think I was "enough" for him. I didn't think any of this had to do with Harry's past; it was likely a common concern for anyone meeting the parents of their significant other.

They had decided to stay with us after all, once Harry convinced them that there was plenty of space. Even though they they also assured us that they would get groceries and cook for us while they were here, hoping not to be too much of an imposition, I was mildly regretting my offer since having them in such close quarters would only add to the pressure. It would be another defining moment in our relationship and I continually hoped and prayed that it would go well.

On Wednesday, I'd forgotten to pack my lunch for work. Sometimes there were snacks in the break room that different people brought in, but such was not the case today. Sometimes, too, I could just power through until dinner time, but today I was stupidly hungry, so I decided to go home and grab something quick, one of the great advantages of living so close to work.

I looked forward to the little bit of quiet for my brief lunch time. I loved Harry and didn't regret my decision to ask him to move in, but my introvert nature still craved solitude from time to time. 

When I got home though, I was surprised that Harry was there, sitting on the living room sofa. I was even more surprised that he didn't acknowledge me coming into the room. He was slumped over as if he was closely examining something, but I couldn't see exactly what he was doing. As I moved closer, I noticed an almost-empty bottle of red wine and the box with the lotus flower on it. It was clearly open, but not enough for me to view the contents. "Harry?" I said gently, not wanting to startle him.

At the sound of my voice, his shoulders started trembling, and then I heard his sobs. I sat down next to him and circled my arm around his back. Clearly, opening the box must have triggered more painful memories. I slowly rubbed over his back, trying to calm him and reassure him that I was there for him. "Hey, hey what happened? Are you okay?" I asked softly.

He shook his head, sobbing, "No, I'm not okay." I continued rubbing over his back which was shaking with the force of his cries. I tried to pull him close, but his hands were clenched in front of him and he made no move to accept my embrace.

"What's going on?" I whispered.

Finally he sat up, one hand wrapped over the other which was still clenched into a fist. As he slowly opened it, his hand quivering with the effort, I saw what he was holding - a spectacularly ornate round locket on a gold chain. The front of the locket was a woven design so I could see through it to the inside of the locket, where I caught a glimpse of an old woman. It had to be Cathryn's grandmother.

"Harry," I said and suddenly all the moisture in my mouth was gone. Nausea hit me like a truck. "Is this it? The necklace the Metlers have been looking for?" I tried not to overreact. Maybe this was the first time he opened the box since Cathryn died and he really didn't know it was in there. It would certainly explain why he was so upset.

He nodded which triggered another round of sobs. When he finally caught his breath again, he said, "She wore this all the time. To me, it represents who she was. It's a piece of her. I just...can't...I don't want to let go." 

I didn't want to ask, but at the same time, I had to know. "Did you know it was in there all along?" 

He didn't answer just yet. His eyes were red and puffy as he gave me a pathetic look. "This design," he said, referring to the beautiful locket, "is called the round gate."

My limbs felt like jello and a sickening heat crawled up my neck at the exact words Cathryn had spoken in the dreams. "Answer me," I demanded. "Did you know it was in there? Were you hiding it this whole time."

Another sob burst from his throat as he nodded.

"Harry," I said weakly, drowning in a sea of hurt and confusion and betrayal and...nausea. I jumped up without a word and fled to the bathroom where I vomited mostly stomach acid. 

I gasped and choked, slowly realizing that my dreams had indeed meant something very clear to him and yet he had insisted they were only dreams. I had personally been accused of taking and hiding that necklace - we both had - and he had insisted that it was destroyed in the accident. I could have understood if he wanted to keep some special things in that box, things that reminded him of Cathryn; I didn't need for him explain or share that with me. But the fact that he had deliberately kept this from me when I was clearly involved at some point, and the fact that the necklace wasn't legally his....it made my head swim in turmoil. 

Harry eventually appeared in the bathroom doorway and sunk to his knees at seeing me on the floor. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. 

"You lied to me, Harry." My voice was flat. "I asked you if you had it and you lied straight to my face. And then when I told you my dreams, you shrugged them off like I was the crazy one!"

"I know." 

"Why?" 

"I don't know."

"You know, I could understand if you wanted to having something special, something just between you and her. But you let me be dragged into this mess by her screwed up family." I started to cry harder. "And keeping something that isn't yours. You're stealing from her family, Harry. I don't care how much you despise them, it's not-"

"I know that!" He yelled. "I'm aware that what I'm doing is illegal and I have to give it back."

"Why did you lie to me?" I cried. "I just wanted you to be honest with me. That's how a relationship works. Maybe you and Cathryn lied to each other, but I refuse to live like that. I can't do this, Harry. I can't always be wondering if you're keeping something from me."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't think that's good enough right now," I sobbed. "And what about your job? Why aren't you even at work?"

"Regan," he said and I knew he was trying formulate the words, "I don't have a job, exactly, I-"

"See?!" I screamed and stood up off the floor. "I knew it! You lied about that, too!" I pushed past him and to my bedroom closet where I grabbed an overnight bag. 

"I didn't lie about that, Regan," he yelled after me. Coming in and spying my bag on the bed, he asked, "What...what are you doing?" 

"I'm going to stay with my parents," I snapped. 

"Please let me explain," he begged. 

"No, Harry. I don't want to hear anything else from you. You lied to me over and over and I just can't listen to you right now."

"Please," he said, holding my upper arms firmly but gently. 

"NO," I whispered insistently. "I just need to go away for now. I need to clear my head. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk."

He stood dumbfounded while I packed several outfits and threw some toiletries into another bag. I stormed past him, feeling another wave of nausea rise in me, but I wouldn't dare stop to grab something to eat. I was already late getting back to work. 

Before I left, he came to me again. "This can't be the end, Regan. I need you. I know I messed up," he sobbed. "I messed up so bad. Please just tell me it's not the end."

"I don't know, Harry. I honestly just don't know."

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Oh, the drama! I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not exactly sorry. Y'all know I'm a happy ending kind of writer, but Harry and Regan are going to have to work through a lot. I'm so glad you're sticking with me on this journey and THANK YOU for 38K reads. You're all amazing!