Song: "More Than Words" by Extreme

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Beth got up for work, despite her raging hangover. She showered at my place and borrowed one of my sweaters. She told me to call in sick and she would cover for me since I did twice the work on Monday. I felt bad letting her do my work but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to sleep after my reckless binge. She and the others just said they'd get a cab back to the club to retrieve her car so that I didn't have to get up and drive them, which made me realize even more what fantastic friends I had. I sent everyone on their way with a strong cup of coffee. After taking some Tylenol and chugging a big glass of water, I literally fell back into bed and slept for hours.

When I woke up, it was already mid-afternoon and I was starving. I made myself eggs and toast because it sounded like the best option to relieve the remaining nausea from the alcohol. I also drank at least a half jug of orange juice and it tasted like the best thing I'd ever had in my life. Once my stomach was full, I took a shower and put on some comfortable around-the-house clothes, yoga pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt, and finally felt almost like myself again.

Next on my agenda was to call Harry, as Lisa had advised me to do, and to ask point-blank for an explanation. I wasn't sure what to say without sounding like a bitch and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear what he had to say because it might mean the end of us. Still, I had to know one way or another. I finally summoned all the courage I could and called him. I was somewhat relieved when I got his voicemail so I could say everything all at once.

"Hi Harry, it's Regan. You know I don't want to pressure you but at this point, I think I deserve to know what's going on. If you need more time or you're just not interested anymore, just tell me. I can handle it, but I think it's unfair that you won't talk to me. For what it's worth, I still care very deeply for you and I wish we could just...talk."

All in all, I think it was a pretty fair message, nothing accusatory, just a civil request for an explanation. But my voice started quivering at the end because I was on the verge of tears. I had tried hard to keep my emotions stable because I didn't want him to think I was trying to manipulate him by crying. At least now it was over and done with and I just hoped he would call me back. 

Part of me wanted to stay in frumpy clothes and watch stupid sappy movies and eat ice cream again. But another part of me wanted to stand up and start over. Maybe I'd go out and get something for dinner, or maybe I'd drive up to my parents' house now that I felt a little more in control of the situation. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I decided to make myself look presentable and even put on a little make up. Then I would figure out what to do next.

I felt like dressing up so I found my wool winter shorts, a thick pair of tights, and a black button up blouse, kind of a retro number with a frilly collar and cuffs. Together, the outfit looked classy; at least I thought it did. I was just trying to decide between ankle boots and tall boots when I heard the timid knock.

Something in my gut told me it was Harry. When I opened the door, I found out that I was right. Great, I was just thinking about how to make myself feel better and then he shows up looking a little bit distraught. If he was here to make a clean break, I would lose the little bit of momentum I had gained. But at least I'd known for sure if we were done.

"Hi," he said feebly.

"Hi," I returned after taking a deep breath. "Come in." It looked like he wanted to move closer and maybe give me a hug, but I just stepped aside for him to enter. I shut the door and walked away, the heels of my boots clicking along the wooden floor of my apartment. I could hear him quietly following behind me. I was about to flop down on the couch when he caught my arm and pulled me to face him.

Sliding his arms around my waist, he pulled me close and said, "I got your call."

"Yeah." I rested my hands casually on his arms, resisting the urge to sink into his arms because I was still hurt, of course, and angry. I wanted to hear him out because I knew this wasn't his normal, but part of me said I needed to wait until I heard his explanation before I let my guard down.

He closed his eyes and I could see that he was getting emotional. He needed more grace than the average person, and I knew that, too, but I didn't want to open myself up if he was just going to hurt me again. Finally, he spoke, his eyes still closed. "I'm sorry."

My heart clenched, thinking the next words from his mouth would be I'm just not ready for a relationship or something to that effect. "Okay," I replied expectantly.

He opened his stunning green eyes and drew me in. I never expected to hear what he said next. "I...I think I'm in love with you."

My jaw dropped open but no words came out. I just stared at him in shock for several long moments. "What?" I finally managed to say.

"You heard me," he said with an apologetic smile.

Thankfully, I recovered my ability to speak. "If that's true, then why would you avoid me for so long?" Then I remembered what Gabby had said, that maybe he felt like he was being unfaithful to his wife if he moved on with me.

"Because I was stupid and afraid," he said, sighing.

"Harry, it's okay if it's hard for you think about loving someone else besides Cathryn. That's pretty normal, I think. I just want you to talk to me, remember?" I leaned in closer let my hands find their way around his waist.

"That's not what I'm afraid of," he said. "I'm afraid of falling even deeper in love with you."

My heart started racing at that point, still processing the shock of his words. I had no doubt I loved him, too. I just didn't expect this to be what he told me when he finally showed up. My throat went dry as I responded. "Why would you be afraid of that?"

His answer broke my heart, but it also made me love him even more. "I'm afraid to love you because I know how much it hurts to have it violently ripped away."

My chest swelled and I tried not to cry, but failed miserably. At least they were happy tears, for the most part. "I can't promise that nothing will happen to me," I said, blinking back the tears. "But I can tell you that I won't break your heart. Because I'm in love with you, too."

He recoiled in surprise as if my words hit him unexpectedly. "Yeah?" His eyes were starting to glisten, too.

I nodded. "Yes, I told you the last time we were together that I was holding back because I didn't want to pressure you. I just knew I'd be able to say it back to you if you ever reached the point where you felt that way about me."

He no longer held back his tears when he said, "I'm sorry. I was only thinking of myself and how I didn't want to get hurt again and that if I pulled away now, it would be easier than having you disappear later. For whatever reason."

"I get it, Harry, I really do," I said. "Don't worry about me, okay? I know now."

"But I hurt  you," he insisted. "When you left that message earlier, I could hear it in your voice. That was what snapped me out of my selfish funk. I was trying to avoid getting hurt but I hurt you in the process. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

I knew this was love because I had never felt someone else's pain in such a real way. And I had never wanted so desperately to see someone happy, to make someone happy.  "Of course I forgive you," I assured him. The words were barely out of my mouth when he pressed his against mine, sealing the words between us.

Our kiss quickly became urgent.

Hungry.

Needy.

I returned his kiss with just as much desire, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, urging him to lift me up to his height, which he did. My feet hovered above the floor while he flooded my mouth with his taste. He held me close to himself by wrapping his strong arms around my waist, but he eventually tired and set me back on the floor without breaking the kiss.

I loosened my hold on him so I could run my hand along his neck, creeping up to his jawline, feeling the distinct contour of his jaw. His heartbeat pulsed under my fingertips along the way, proving that he was just as eager as I was. My hand wandered behind his neck and I pulled him down to me, and in return, he walked his hands to the backside of my hips and he pulled me tightly against his. My back arched against his frame and excitement surged through me at the feel of him.

Harry then backed out of the kiss and looked down intently at me, his eyes searching my face. Without speaking, I gave him permission to proceed when he reached for the top button on my blouse. Even though we had never discussed this level of connection, I knew exactly where we were going.

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Just to bring this into perspective, they have known each other for two months now. Still, I realize that's very fast in terms of falling in love, but I wanted to clarify that it's been more than a few weeks.

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