Chapter 19

“Are you sure you want to go to practice?” My mom raised her eyebrows as we were in the parking lot of my school. 

“I have to... Missing school is one thing, but coach will have my ass if I miss practice. Especially the day after regionals.” I sighed, watching as people started coming out of school. That meant school was over. 

“I’ll pick you up afterwards?” My mom suggested. “Maybe we can go visit Dylan at the hospital?” 

I shook my head quickly. “No. No we’re not going there.” I muttered, opening up the door of my mom’s car. “No way.” 

I couldn’t face the Peters... Not knowing that it was my fault. I was the one who encouraged him to take the field goal. It was my persuasion that put him in such a vulnerable position. It was my encouragement that caused him to end up in the hospital. 

I pulled my football bag over my shoulder as I walked in through the back door of the locker room upon habit. 

The team was in there silently getting ready. 

I was met with awkward glanced and uncomfortable silence. 

“Samantha go home.” Coach called from his office. 

I looked up from my bag as Coach walked out of his office. 

“Go home.” 

“But practice-” 

“Go. Home. All of you go home. We’re not having practice today. Not after last night.” Coach shook his head, leaning against the doorframe. 

We all just looked at him. 

Coach never cancels practice. 

“Go home, or to the hospital, or something, but we’re not having practice.” Coach shook his head, walking back into his office. 

I took a deep breath and walked towards Coach’s office. 

“Yes?” Coach asked as I shut the door behind me. 

“I need to talk to you.” I said quietly, sitting down in one of the plastic chairs across from his desk. 

Coach raised his eyebrows, leaning back in his chair. 

“After Nationals, I’m quitting the team.” 

Coach just laughed. “Nice try, Sam. No you’re not.” 

“Yes I am. I’ll play in Nationals but that’s it.” I shook my head, my heart beating fast. 

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Coach laughed. “You’re not quitting my team.” 

“My dad’s making me.” I lied. 

Coach narrowed his eyes at me. 

“You’re telling me that you’re quitting this team? After everything you’ve brought us two in the past three years, you’re quitting?” Coach asked. “Sam I didn’t have you as a quitter. You aren’t a quitter. Tell me what this really is about.” 

“I- I told you. My dad’s making me. He- He got really mad at me last night because I took off my- my helmet.” I lied, rubbing my hands against my knees. “I’m quitting the team, Coach.” 

Coach sighed. “I can call your father and figure out a deal for next season and-” 

“No!” I said too quickly. “No. Don’t. Don’t call him. I- I don’t want to be on the team anyways.” I shook my head, balling my hands into fists. “It’s not fun anymore.” 

“Sam, I know you can’t play in college, but the least you can do is give this team another winning season.” Coach said seriously. 

I shook my head furiously, proud of myself that I’d been keeping the tears back for so long. 

“Nationals and that’s it. I can’t continue. My family is moving and-” 

“Samantha.” Coach said, shocking me into silence. 

Nobody ever called me Samantha. Only my family and occasionally Dylan when he was teasing me. 

“Yes?” I whispered, my hands shaking. 

“You cannot let me lose my kicker and my quarterback within 24 hours of each other so close to Nationals. If you are not committed to this team before Nationals, neither will the rest of this team. And we need commitment.” Coach said seriously. 

My heart squeezed in my chest at the mention of Dylan. 

“I’m sorry coach.” I shook my head, standing up. 

I could’ve sworn I heard coach mutter ‘just like your mother’ as I walked out of the office, but my mind must have been playing tricks on me because I don’t think my mom and my coach have ever spoken with each other. 

“Hey Sam, want to head to the hospital with us? I’ll drive you.” Nate offered. 

I ignored him as I walked over to my football bag. 

“Sam?” 

“Everybody dressed now.” Coach said harshly, walking out of his office. 

There were a few mumbles of confusion. 

“Dressed and on the line in 5 minutes.” Coach said harshly, slamming the door to the locker room as he left. 

I closed my eyes, swearing under my breath. 

This was my punishment. 

******************************

I put my hands behind my head, panting as I walked in circles, waiting for the rest of the team to finish. 

Coach walked over to me. “Ready to reconsider your decision?” He asked softly, raising his eyebrows. 

I shook my head. 

“On the line!” Coach yelled to the rest of the team. 

We weren’t even in our pads. This was strictly a day of conditioning and sprints. 

“Full field suicides, GO!” Coach yelled. 

“Fucking hell.” I heard Nate groan as we took off sprinting. 

I felt like I was going to be sick by the time I crossed the line, first again. 

Coach raised his eyebrows at me. 

“You think you’re... You’re going to... To get me to stay.... By torture?” I raised my eyebrows, resting my hands on my knees as I gasped for air. 

“50 push-ups.” Coach instructed. 

The entire team groaned at this one. 

I dropped down and did them easily. 

Coach wouldn’t break me. I can’t continue doing football. It just wasn’t possible. I couldn’t play on a team for a school that I didn’t even attend in a completely different state. Wasn’t going to happen. 

Coach raised his eyebrows at me as I stood up. I shook my head, glaring at him. 

Why couldn’t he see that it was physically impossible for me to do this? My dad wouldn’t allow me to stay on this team! He hadn’t said it yet, but I knew that he’d flip shit if I asked. 

It began to rain, causing the entire team to groan. Whether from relief of the water, or the exasperation that we were still going, I do not know. But I know that it only made me more mad at Coach for keeping us out here. 

“Planks until I say stop.” Coach yelled, pushing his wet hair back from his face. 

I dropped to the turf in a plank position, promising myself that I was going to stay up for as long as he made us. 

It was only a minute, nothing to bad. 

“On the line! Double field sprints!” Coach yelled. “Go!” 

I took off, my feet digging into the turf as I sprinted through the rain. 

How cliche, a pouring rainstorm in the middle of a tough conditioning session. 

I skidded to a halt at the opposite end of the field as I turned around and sprinted back to the other side. 

“Again!” Coach yelled once every one had crossed. 

Someone was going to throw up for sure. And it just might be me if we continued this any longer. I knew a big lunch at Nordstrom was not a good idea with my mom today. 

I was still first as I crossed the line for the second time, and I was glad. It gave me time to catch my breath while the rest of the team finished. 

Ryan came limping across the line, wincing. 

“Ryan sit down.” Coach said harshly. Ryan always had problems with his hips, and I’m sure all of this running was good for him. Matt was doubled over, holding his chest. 

“Matt sit out, get a hit from your inhaler.” Coach said. 

I furiously watched my team falling apart at the seams. Multiple people were sitting down, their heads in their hands. 

“Get the fuck up!” I yelled at them, anger rippling through me. “What the hell are you doing, just sitting there!?” 

Half of them looked at me, half of them completely ignored me. 

“What kind of team are we if we can’t endure a little bit of rain and some extra God damn sprints!” I yelled. “Get up off of your asses and get on the fucking line!” 

Nobody moved. 

“NOW!” 

I saw a smirk on Coach’s face as the team lazily stepped on the line. 

“AGAIN!” I screamed, taking off for the opposite side of the field. 

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Coach said to me as I crossed the line. 

“I’m done.” I snapped at him, walking over to the bench. 

“Sam!” Coach yelled after me. 

I grabbed my back, pulling it over my shoulder. 

“Samantha!” 

I winced but didn’t turn around. 

“Carson!” Coach screamed. 

I ignored him as I stormed off of the field. I didn’t even bother to change before I started walking home. 

It only took about 5 minutes to get home, and I was fucking pissed as I walked through my front door. 

Kate was sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and I saw Noah coloring on a color book in the other room. 

“Sammy!” Noah said excitedly when he saw me. 

“Sam...” Kate said softly, giving me a smile. 

I walked through the kitchen to get to the stairs to the basement. 

“Samantha!” My mom called after me. 

I ran down the stairs, tears already collecting in my eyes as I ran to the back part of the basement. 

“Sammy!” Noah called, running after me. 

“Not right now Noah.” I said, furiously wiping my eyes as the little boy ran into my room. 

“Why are you crying, Sammy?” Noah asked curiously, climbing up onto my bed next to me. 

I just shook my head, a sob escaping my lips. 

“Don’t cry, Sammy.” Noah frowned, climbing onto my lap. 

I let out a sigh as he reached up and wiped my cheeks. “You don’t need to cry. Dylan’s just fine. Mommy says he’s just got a really bad headache though which is why there were so many doctors.” Noah said, giving me a reassuring smile. “You don’t need to cry.” 

“That’s not why I’m crying, Noah.” I said quietly, wrapping my arms around the smaller boy. 

Noah giggled. “You’re all wet.” 

“Well that’s because it’s raining outside, silly!” I replied, trying to put a smile on my face as he looked up at me. 

“Why are you crying?” 

I sighed, brushing his hair back. He looked so much like Dylan, even though there was a 10 year age difference between them. 

“Because my daddy got a really awesome new job, but I have to move away.” I said quietly, trying to make it so that Noah understood. “And I can’t play on the football team anymore.” 

“But Sammy, you live with us.” Noah said, giving me a weird look. 

“Not anymore, Noah. I live here now. This is my house. See? This right here, this is my real bedroom.” I explained. “This is where I grew up.” 

“This is where your mommy and daddy live?” Noah asked. 

“Sort of.” I nodded. 

“What do you mean sort of?” Noah giggled, raising his eyebrows. 

“I don’t know where my real mommy and daddy live. But that super nice lady talking to your mom upstairs, she adopted me, which means that legally I’m her daughter and she’s my mom.” I explained. 

Noah nodded. “So why can’t you come back and live with us? Does the lady want you to stay home?” 

“Yes she does. Because I’m her daughter, and mothers don’t like when their kids leave home before they’re old enough. Just like if you came and lived here, your mommy would miss you very much.” 

“But mommy will miss you too if you don’t leave. Josie isn’t around that much and mommy likes to go shopping with you and giggle with you.” Noah said. “Dylan doesn’t giggle like you do, he’s no fun.” 

I laughed, already feeling my spirits lifted from the young boy. 

“Dylan giggles as much as me, just not around other people.” I said softly. “But I’ll still come and visit your mommy.” 

“But you haven’t gone to visit Dylan yet and he got mad at the big guy when he told him.” 

“What big guy?” I frowned. 

“The guy who always yells at you during games.” Noah replied. 

I laughed. “You mean Coach?” I asked. 

“Yea the one who looks like you!” Noah smiled. 

“Coach doesn’t look like me, silly.” I laughed, poking his cheek. “But what do you mean, Dylan got mad?’ 

“Well later that night, after Dylan woke up, all of the sweaty guys came in and they were still in their clothes from the game. Mommy said it was gross. But Dylan looked around and asked where you were, but nobody said anything, and then the big guy stepped forwards and said you took Nick’s car.” 

“Nick? Do you mean Nate?” 

“Yea the tall one that always plays with you and Dylan.” 

“Yea that’s Nate.” 

“And Dylan frowned and said a very bad word that mommy won’t let me repeat although it made her giggle when I said it.” Noah giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. 

I sighed. 

Noah frowned, crinkling his nose. “Sammy?” 

“Yes, Noah?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. 

“I think you need to take a bath. You smell bad.” Noah scrunched up his little nose, making me laugh. 

“I think I need to take a bath too.” I agreed, standing up from the bed as I set him down on the ground. “Noah can you do me a huge favor?” 

Noah nodded, looking at me expectantly. 

“Go upstairs to your mommy, but don’t tell anyone what we talked about, okay?” I said quietly. 

“Of course Sammy!” Noah smiled, bouncing off. 

“Wait! Noah!” I called after him. 

He turned around, looking at me expectantly again. He was so cute. 

“How long is Dylan going to be in the hospital for?” I asked softly. 

Noah furrowed his eyebrows. “Dylan’s not in the hospital.” He shook his head. 

“Where is he?” I asked, my heart panicking for a moment. 

“He’s at home. He locked himself in his room and him and daddy yelled a lot.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I frowned. 

Noah shrugged. “You didn’t ask me what Dylan did at home.” Noah shook his head. 

I sighed. “Go on upstairs to your mommy.” I told him. 

Noah nodded and ran off again. I heard his little grunts as he ran up the stairs on his hands and knees. 

A soft smile crossed my lips as I turned on my shower. I pulled off my football clothes, stuffing them in the laundry basket. 

This time, the water was warm as I got into the shower. 

I took my time, washing off all of the rain and grime from practice. 

I got out of the shower and tied my hair up in a towel before walking to my closet. 

I pulled on some skinny jeans and an old Northwestern sweatshirt. I have no idea how I got it, but somehow it ended up in my closet and I was wearing it. 

I pulled my hair out of the towel, but just braided it back in a french braid. 

I grabbed my phone and keys and headed upstairs. 

Kate and Noah were gone, but my mom was no where in sight. 

I left a note on the kitchen counter that said ‘Out with friends - Sam’. 

By the time I got to Dylan’s house, my heart was beating fast and I felt like I was going to throw up. 

There cars packing in his driveway and lining the street up and down both sides, signaling that basically the entire team was there. 

I cursed under my breath as I walked through the open front door. What the hell was I doing here again?

“Sam?” Rob asked from the kitchen. 

I froze. 

“Everyone’s upstairs in his room.” Rob said, an unreadable expression on his face. 

Did he know what I was about to do?

I nodded slowly before climbing the stairs that I’d gone up so many times. 

I slid into his room, hoping to go unnoticed. 

Unfortunately, my appearance created a silence through the room that sent shivers down my spine. 

The team got quiet faster than when Coach yells at us, and that’s saying something. 

“Sammy!” Noah cheered from Dylan’s bed. “See Dylan, I told you she’d come!” 

“Noah go play downstairs.” Dylan said quietly, nudging his brother off of his bed. 

“Hey! How about let’s all go play with Noah!” Nate suggested, standing up from the desk chair. 

Silence. 

“That sounds like an excellent idea.” Coach agreed, ushering the team out of the room. 

As the door shut behind all of the team, I winced. It was so much louder than usual. 

I stood where I was, looking down at my feet. 

“Well I’m not going to bite you.” Dylan laughed. 

I looked up at him, tears already in my eyes. 

I took a deep breath, walking towards him. 

“I love you.” I said quietly, observing the walking cast on the floor next to his bed. “Shouldn’t you be wearing that?” 

“It’s called a walking cast for a reason.” Dylan smiled, patting the bed next to him. 

I softly sat down, my gaze landing on the air mattress that was still on the floor. I hadn’t actually slept in it in forever, but Kate insisted the if it’s there, she’d think I was sleeping there, and not in the same bed as her son. 

“Sam you can talk to me...” Dylan whispered, resting his hand on my lower back. 

“How’s your head?” I asked, laying my hand on his chest. 

“Hurts like hell. But the pain meds for my ankle knock out the headache.” Dylan shrugged, resting his head back against the pillows. “Why did you-” 

“How’s your ankle? How long are you out of football?” I asked, turning to look at his ankle. It was propped up on a few pillows, wrapped in a heavy duty ice pack. 

“Rest of the season.” Dylan replied. 

I nodded, looking back at him. 

“Why’d you leave the hospital? Coach said you were there at the beginning.” Dylan said quietly. 

I bit my lip, the tears returning to my eyes. 

“My dad got elected president.” I whispered. 

“I know, I heard! Congrats Mr. C.” Dylan said with a smile. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

“I quit the football team today.” I added, looking up at the ceiling. 

Dylan was silent. “Babe?” He whispered, rubbing circles on my lower back. “Babe what’s going on?” 

“I’m moving to DC with my dad. I’m going to be the president’s daughter.” I said softly, leaning forwards and resting my head on his chest. 

“I know, that’s amazing. I’ll be dating the president’s daughter.” Dylan laughed. 

I closed my eyes as more tears appeared. I slowly shook my head. 

“Dylan why can’t you see that we have to break up?” I whispered, squeezing my hand around the fabric of his shirt. 

“No we don’t.” Dylan whispered. “You can still live here with us!” 

I shook my head again. “I can’t, Dylan... We just can’t.” I whispered, my voice shaking. 

“Why?” Dylan asked quietly, a crack in his voice. 

“Because I can’t do long distance. Because I can’t talk to you on the phone, hear you say that you love me, and not be able to see your face. I can’t only settle with talking on the phone when I’m freaking out in the middle of the night and need to talk to you. I can’t deal with being 532.7 miles away from you. I can’t deal with having to drive 8 hours and 19 minutes just to see you.” I shook my head. 

Dylan took a deep breath. 

“I love you, you know that right?” Dylan whispered, pulling me closer to him. 

“I love you more than you will ever know.” I breathed back, pulling my legs up on the bed to lay next to him. 

“Will you just lay here with me?” Dylan asked. 

I nodded, looking up at him. 

I placed a soft kiss on soft part above his collarbone. “I love you so much.” 

Dylan closed his eyes, and I closed my eyes as well. 

I’m not sure how long we laid there like that, but it felt good to just be in his arms. It made me feel like no matter what was coming, everything would be alright. 

I always felt safe with Dylan, and I would miss this so much. 

“I have to go home...” I whispered, sitting up. 

“Please don’t leave...” Dylan said quietly, reaching for my hand. 

I leaned forwards, placing a soft, lasting kiss on his lips. 

“I love you.” I whispered, tears collecting in my eyes. 

Dylan wiped a tear off of his cheek. “Fuck Sam why do you have to go and make me cry?” Dylan asked, half laughing. 

Warm tears fell down my cheeks as I picked my purse up from the ground and walked towards the door. When I turned around, Dylan had a pillow pressed to his face, and by the way that he was breathing I could tell that he was sobbing. 

I was full on crying as I made my way down the stairs, my vision blurry from the tears in my eyes. 

There was a toy truck on the second to last step, but I didn’t see it. I stepped right on it, causing me to slip and land right on my ass at the bottom of the stairs. 

But instead of laughing and clapping like they usually do, the team watched me in silence as I leaned forwards, putting my face in my hands. 

“Sammy! I told you no crying!” Noah said, running up to me. “And you’re sitting on my truck...” 

I stood up, wiping my face with the sleeve of my shirt. 

“You’re welcome to stay for a bit.” Kate suggested softly. 

“I um, I should go...” I whispered, walking towards the door. 

“What about all of your clothes in our room?” Colton asked. 

I stopped dead, my stomach flipping. 

Oh shit. 

“Colton.” Rob hissed. “Not now.” 

“Sam I’ll bring them to you sometime this week.” Kate told me. 

I let out a little whimper as I walked out of the house. 

I felt sick to my stomach as I got into my car. 

Why does this have to be happening to me?

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This is the longest chapter yet :)

Guys I just finished this book! It's 35 chapters, plus an epilogue (that I still have to write), and yay

Update: In a few hours

-Panda