THE SPAWNS

The Responsible for all the Breaking

Chapter XXI—Lilibeth

© DarknessAndLight

I spent most of the night staring at my ceiling. Because of that I heard my brother, Maika and… Cole leaving. I heard the Jeep engine start and I heard the car drive away. There was only one reason for them to leave with the Jeep and that meant they were heading to the Dump Creek.

            I didn’t remember one time where I hadn’t gone with them when they left for the Dump Creek. The realization had me almost crying, but I held in the tears because I didn’t even deserve to cry.

            I had yelled at Cole that I never wanted to see him again. Why would I have been invited for a trip with them?

I couldn’t even feel bad for myself because I had brought this on me. I should have known that by rejecting Cole so heartlessly I wouldn’t be welcomed with open arms by the Three Musketeers. Of course they were kind with me and I was their friends, but growing up, they had gone to the same school while I was lagging behind because I was younger. I hung out with them outside school time, but I missed all those years they spent together in school. And I might have understood then and got along with them but I never got them the way they got each other. I was in the group but always slightly outside of the loop. And that wasn’t a wrong thing, it was a normal thing. And I should have understood that. I should have made friends instead of waiting for the time I’d get home to my brother and his friends. Because they were my brother’s friends—not mine.

I relied on my brother too much and I assumed that I would always have their friendship, and of course I would, but if they had to chose between me and Cole, Cole would win.

            I should make friends—friends of my own that had no connection with my brother.      

            It wasn’t a question of picking sides, because I knew my brother loved me and if I asked him, he would include me, or he would turn his back on his friends and support me, but the truth was, I was the one in the wrong. I had hurt Cole. I had been mean with him. I had broken his heart along with mine. I was the responsible for all the breaking.

            Cole wasn’t.

            And I had to pay for it.

            Still, there was truth in what I was realizing—I needed to broaden my horizon. I needed to find myself friends. And I probably needed to leave too. Because Cole would be back at one point and I didn’t want my brother to have to pick a side. I didn’t want anyone to pick a side. I had done enough damaged as it was.

            When I finally fell asleep, the sun was rising. I slept like the dead, as dead as I felt inside, and when I woke up, it was past midday. I normally didn’t sleep in that much—it felt like I was wasting my day away when I did—so my parents automatically looked strangely at me once I walked into the kitchen.

            My parents were washing the dishes—well Papa Was, Mama was just sitting on the counter, looking at him.

            I waved a little, heading straight for the fridge. “Good morning.”

            “Good afternoon, actually,” my father pointed out.

            I nodded in acknowledgement as I drank from my bottle of water. Mama and Papa gave each other a look, and just like that, Papa walked up to me, kissed the top of my head, and headed outside, probably to his painting shack.

My mother smiled at me. I gulped a little. “Your brother’s gone for a little while. I know he just came back and you missed him, so if you want me to call him and tell him to start spending some more quality time with his family, it’s fine.”

I wanted to tell her I knew he was gone to the Dump Creek, but didn’t want to explain the whole staying up all night trying not to cry thing. So, instead I said, “No it’s okay. He should have his fun.”

Mama frowned. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I sighed, playing with the label of my bottle.

“Lilibeth…”

“It’s okay Mama, I swear.” I scratched my eyebrow, and looked at anything but her. “Don’t worry about me.”

My mother wasn’t having it though, and she stepped forward, lifting my chin softly, making me look in her eyes. “What happened sweetheart? Your brother wouldn’t say anything and your father is vague as always.”

“It’s nothing Mama,” I breathed out quietly. “I swear. Nothing I can’t get over.” Just as I said the words, I doubted their truth. How could I ever get over Cole?

“You won’t be always sad, you know,” she told me softly. I smiled faintly and leaned my cheek against her hand resting on my jaw, smelling her comforting scent, the kind of smell you automatically felt better when smelling because I meant you were home and your mother was there.

“I know.”

She stroked my cheek, smiling. “My sweet girl.”

I took a deep breath and then looked away from her eyes. What I was about to say was probably a rash decision, but it was the best I had came with. “Mama, I’ve been thinking… Do you think… do you think I could go spend a few days, maybe a week over at Uncle Tylers place, and spend some time with Nikki?”

I looked just quick enough to see her frown. “I never thought that you liked Nikki all that much.”

I nodded slightly. “You’re right. But I think that needs to change…”

Mama took a step back, almost like she needed to appraise me from afar, to see me whole, like if she did, she see what was wrong with me. “Well, I’m sure your uncle and aunt would be happy to have you over for a little while. And I’m sure Nikki would love the company.” The way she said it, all I could think about was how judgemental we seemed to be towards Nikki, Cole and I especially, and mostly during the last few years and that was only because of her feelings for Cole. There were no other reasons for me to be so eager to critic her whenever I saw her. She was only annoying because she was awkward in Cole’s presence because she liked him.

What right did I have to judge her? If I truly wanted Cole to move on from me, I should have encouraged her, not judged her. If I truly didn’t want Cole, I had a lot of changes to do.

And if I wanted to be more than just this girl pinning for her brother’s best friend, I seriously needed to stop basing all my judgements in regards to Coleridge Torres. I needed to figure out who I was. And I especially needed to know who I was without Cole.

“I ought to be a better cousin.” I ought to be a better person in general. I ought… I ought to stop being so selfish, as Cole had so nicely pointed out.

And he was right, that was what had hurt the most. He was absolutely right. I was selfish. And I should have seen it, acknowledged it before hurting Cole. I could have let him down more easily…

“Well, I’ll be happy to drive you there.”

I shook my head. “No need. I can take the bus.”

“The bus?”

I chuckled at her surprised tone. “Yeah, you know, those big moving things on wheel. Kind of a like a car, but bigger.”

Mama chuckled too. “My daughter being a smartass. Well, I’ve seen everything now.”

I smiled up at her. “My mother calling me a smartass. I’ve also seen everything.”

She stroked my cheek again. “I can drive you, you know. It’s no problem.”

“No, I think I need to do this on my own, as much as possible. And no need for you to waste time on driving me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes…”

A few hours later, my father was consulted, my uncle and aunt were called, Nikki was texting me almost hysterically, my bus ticket was bought, my things were packed and I was heading to the bus station with my mother—she had strongly pushed her driving me to the bus station.

It wasn’t that big of a station, so we found our way pretty quickly, and soon, I was standing beside the bus, trying to convince my mother to let me get in.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked for the hundredth time—it wasn’t an exaggeration, I had actually counted.

“Yes.”

She replaced my sweater for the fourth time. “Alright… Your aunt will be waiting for you with your cousins at the bus station. Don’t miss your stop. Do you want to go to the bathroom before you leave?”

“Mama,” I took her hand, prying it off my clothes. “I’ll be fine. I’m not five anymore. I’m almost sixteen.”

She replaced the strap of my bag on my shoulder. “You’re fifteen, don’t skip a year. And you’re still young, so young, and you’re my baby girl alright?”

I smiled at her. “I love you Mama. And I’m not going off to college. I’m just going to stay at your brother’s house for a week.”

“I know, I know…” she waved it off, like she knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, but I could still see the tears filling up her eyes. “Call me the minute you get there. And actually, text me every fifteen minutes so I know you’re alright.”

I half smiled instead of laughing.“Bye Mama.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me like your father.” She smiled a little saying that. And I did too.

And then I hugged her. “I love you Mama.” And I did, I truly did. I never could have asked for a better mother—for better parents.

“I love you too sweetheart,” she whispered against my hair.

“Take care.”

She kissed the top of my head. “You too.”

            Finally, she let go of me and I got on the bus. When I was sitting in my seat, I looked outside and could still see her standing there.

You’d think I was about to get on a transatlantic boat ride to the New World in the seventeenth century the way she was tearing up.

I wasn’t on my way to the New World. But I was on my way to discovering something and to me it was more important than gold and spices.

I was about to find out who Lilibeth was without the people that had always made her, her.

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Sorry if this is uploaded later than I was supposed to. I had to drive like 6 hours to get my brother back from his football camp so that sort of cut a lot of my writing time! 0_0 Next week shall be uploaded on the actual Saturday. 

Anyway, it's here now! 8D And it also hasn't be re-read before I uploaded it, I kinda seriously need to go to sleep--I did lose one hour of sleep because of that daytime saving-whatever thing. -_- Ugh. So yeah, enjoy as it is.

This chapter is dedicated to TragicMuffinHistory for winning my 'Write Your Own Eanding' Contest. Go check her stories out! :P