The Spawns | Chapter XLII -- This Simple Realization
THE SPAWNS
This Simple Realization
Chapter XLII—Lilibeth
© DarknessAndLight
I didn't want to let him go just yet. It felt a little selfish to ask him to hang around with me for a little while longer. I had no idea what his plans were today. But I wanted to go somewhere, and I would have asked one of my parents to take me if they were free, but now that Cole was kind of offering... And if I wanted things, I had to ask for them.
So I summoned my courage and said, "I kind of wanted to stop at the dancing studio and work on something. If you don't mind dropping me off, I'd be really grateful."
Cole's whole face broke into a grin. I guessed he didn't mind. "To the dance studio it is!" he announced and kept driving.
It was a really silly thing, but I kind of loved the fact that he didn't need to ask me where that was. He knew. He remembered.
I shouldn't be surprised, of course he would remember. But I guess everything Cole ever did was always kind of wonderful to me.
I let myself look at him in the driver's seat with a lazy smile on his lips. I'd been so focused lately on what I couldn't have with Cole that I was forgetting how lucky I was to simply have him in my life.
Even if I wasn't dating him, even if I ended up never dating him, I wanted to be more grateful to have such a wonderful person in my life.
I'd been so obsessed with what I wanted that I was forgetting what I did have, and this friendship with Cole deserved more.
Cole turned his head, looking in my eyes, "What are you thinking about?"
"How wonderful of a human being you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life," I replied when his gaze went back to the road.
His whole face broke into a grin. "Careful, that's going to go straight up to my head."
I smiled back at him, and brushed the hair behind his ear. "I hope so."
"Beth?"
"Hmm?"
"I just need to say this, I said it before, but I want to say it in another context and not because I want to hear anything in response, not because I want anything, I just want to say it," Cole rambled.
I chuckled, telling him, "Spill it out."
He looked in my eyes again. "I love you."
My breath caught in my throat. A smile broke on my lips. "I love you too Cole," I replied softly, and then laughed, "Now try not driving off the road will you," I told him, pointing back to the front of the car towards the road in front of us.
We'd said those words during our argument, but it hadn't felt real, it hadn't felt like something nice. This was different.
I wanted to hold his hand but instead pressed my index finger on his forearm now and then. His smiled widened every time I did.
I wished for the car ride to never end.
Unfortunately, we finally arrived at destination.
"You can just drop me off, I'll call Mom or Dad to pick me up later," I was telling Cole as he was unbuckling his seat belt.
He rolled his eyes at me. "It's like you don't even know me. Do you really think I could just abandon you here?"
I was looking at him sheepishly. I didn't want to take up all of his day. "Don't you have things to do? Plans for the day?"
"My plan is to be your chauffeur for the day," he shushed me with his fingers before I could say anything, "don't even try to argue with me, you will lose."
He didn't need to say this twice.
My dance teacher was there when I got to the studio.
"Back from your little vacation?" she said as a greeting.
I liked her a lot. Mom often complained saying she wasn't nice, and it was kind of true. That didn't make her mean, she was just a no nonsense kind of person.
"Yes. I was wondering if there's a studio empty that I could use to practice the routine I want to do for our new showdown?"
My teacher often told me that if I focused more of my efforts on dancing rather than putting so much of myself into music, I could go far. The thing was, I didn't know what I was supposed to do, which of the two I was most passionate about. I hated having to pick. I didn't want to go on without one or the other.
Once I had my room, I took a quick trip to the bathroom to change into an outfit more appropriate for dancing and came back into the mirrored room.
I felt kind of shy suddenly, all alone with Cole in this room, ready to dance, while all he could do was look at me. Fortunately, I hadn't noticed it, but Cole had brought a notebook and pen, to keep himself occupied.
I put on Tallis Fantasia. The music softly played from the speakers spread around. I closed my eyes, picturing all of the moves I had seen in my head before.
I took a deep breath and started to dance.
It didn't feel the way it had when I had danced in the rain earlier with Nikki watching. That first time had been nicer, sort of freeing. Now, I just felt like something was lacking. It didn't have the same spontaneity. I was trying to do something more formal, and now that I was doing it, in a dance class setting, the whole choreography was kind of changing in my head.
I started from the top again. I did a few combos. I stopped and started again. Again.
I could see Cole setting his notebook down in the corner of my eyes.
"What's wrong Beth?"
I pushed a strand of hair that had escaped my ponytail. "Nothing..."
Cole rolled his eyes at me. "Oh please, do I look like Jayden?"
"No..."
He gave me a look. "Then why are you assuming I'm unobservant?"
"It's just..." I scratched the top of my head, uncomfortable, "I think this needs to be a two dancers' piece. It just fits better in my head like that, I see it that way but I don't want to work with anyone in my class because well I just can't work with them and I'm mad because it won't look like I want it to look and—and what are you doing?" Cole had taken his shows off and was now standing up, right in front of me.
"First move, I'm supposed to be standing like this, right?"
"What... I... What?"
"I'm not doing pointe though, forget about it, I'm not doing solo, treat me as an accessory please and I'm not going to do the little fly like a gracious angel hands move. That's your department Kitten," he ranted, standing way too close to me, his eyes never leaving mine.
"You're not... you can't dance!" I replied, taking a step back.
He grinned. "Sure I can."
"Not ballet," I specified.
"I've seen you dance it for years," Cole started to explain, "I'm observant and I do martial arts. And this is not a ballet piece, it's a contemporary one. Anyone can dance that. Now, like this?" he ended his little rant by standing very close to me, getting into a position quite similar to the way I had been standing when I started my dance piece.
I shook my head a little, feeling slightly breathless. "You're unbelievable."
"Ly charming, yes I know, I get that a lot."
"You're not in this class. You can't participate in our competition," I added, trying to find a reason not to do this. I didn't know why I was so adamant on not doing it though. Dancing with Cole sounded wonderful.
Cole smiled softly at me. I felt like I was melting inside. "Well, until you do find someone that you can actually partner up with, how about you use me, and that way you can actually picture it the right way."
"I'm not sure how to do this."
"All I have to do is shadow your movements for now, right? Until you figure out how you want to break things up?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, let's start from the top."
I stopped arguing and started the music again. Cole was always so sharp and quick, that it wasn't difficult, adding him to the dance. I barely had anything to explain to him, he shadowed my movement just the right way.
As we danced together, our bodies moving perfectly in sync, I was struck by this simple realization—no one was ever going to get me the way Cole did.
I didn't need to date him for him to know me. I didn't need to date him to have him in my life.
I didn't need to date him in order to love him.
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A/N: Hey everyone! This comes a little later than I had anticipated. Yesterday was my 10th year anniversary on Wattpad! I would have wanted to do like last year and upload many any stories, but unfortunately, my schedule didn't allow it. :(
Anyway. Thank you, as always, for being patient. As I've mentioned before, I'm trying to get back in my writing game, and I am trying to upload more often again.
The Spawns doesn't have many chapters left, so I hope I can complete this story soon. :)
In the meantime, the next story I plan on uploading is The Virgin and the Whore.
Thanks again! :D I love you guys. To ten more years of Wattpad!
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