Still Don't Know My Name - Labrinth

smut

It was a blurred yet cleared.

The feeling.

The way Yeosang and Jimin's lips moved roughly against each other as they stormed into the bed room, clothes being abandon and torn off each other's bodies was a mixture of complicated feelings but so unlike Jimin's withdrawal flashbacks. His flashbacks were clear, the only thing that flashes his mind like an endless row of cards flickering before his eyes.

Jimin was fading in and out of consciousness between the past and present by the time his back met the bed, forcing his lips harder against Yeosang's in order to keep himself focused but it was as though so many vibrant colors kept flashing his visions. He heard voices, he saw the blood and couldn't stop smelling the stench of death.

It was driving himself insane.

"Minnie," Yeosang pants against his ear, "Come back to me, you're not there."

Tears formed Jimin's eyes, placing the back of his hand against his wobbly lips, "D-Don't stop, I'm begging you."

Yeosang looks hesitantly at Jimin, unsure whether he should believe him or not, but Jimin only clasps their lips together roughly, "You're the only one that can bring me back. Bring me back, please."

It was a little more hesitant the way Yeosang kissed Jimin back, but soon it built up the tension that the two craved for. Every single touch Yeosang caressed Jimin with felt as though he was burning his skin, and Jimin felt a familiar high to the feeling that almost clouded those horrid memories.

But he couldn't stop crying.

His body felt high, as though he was on a cloud yet his emotions were fragile, vulnerable to the memory storming his head like constant slams of a batt.

And it wouldn't stop.

Even by the time Yeosang prepared him up and pushed himself inside him, Jimin's world was torn between feeling the pleasure licking every inch of his skin and fighting with who the fuck he even is. The demon that took over his entire mind and soul the moment of he fought for survival was clawing against him, making him not know whether to sob or laugh.

So he did both, clawing against Yeosang's back with a broad smile yet tears gliding down his cheeks as the euphoria began to sink him in, slowly not feeling the heavy guilt like he did so before.

He fought to survive.

And he survived.

He fucked survived and he felt so alive.

Being torn by who he was before and who he is now will not get him to have an idea to who he will be, but he can start by choosing.

And the answer is simple.

He chooses Yeosang.

They're tied now, together until this ends. Being weak and having mental breakdowns with whatever he does will only be a barricade in Yeosang's life and mission to put an end to this. He knows he can help, Jimin has so many capabilities that can get any information he wants and with more training he'll be better at combat.

He's just so mentally weak.

Never was he prepared to be introduced to this life, and now that he's living in it makes it feel like he's not only trying to live off another day but protect those who aren't involved.

Like Joshua.

Someone both Jimin and Yeosang have in common who they care for.

In order to make sure he's okay, Jimin will have to start accepting all parts of himself.

Even the darker sides too.

Letting that twinkling reality settle, Jimin's eyes not only twinkled with insanity but his smile grew eerily wider with stars now filling his vision. He's not sure if it's because he came for the third time already or it's the fact that he had this sense of epiphany moment right now, but he's able to enjoy this moment much more than before.

He was a little brat while doing anything Yeosang wanted, hiccupping giggles through it while bending and turning into any position just to continue to feel pleasure yet numbness to the delicate feelings all at once.

And it felts so fucking good to feel something while having sex.

He's never wanted someone so badly as to how he's been wanting Yeosang for the past couple of days, and obviously this little thing they're having can't exactly continue on to not get the wrong idea, but Jimin is going to enjoy it now while it lasts.

Knowing that he once felts like a dust of colors of pleasure and some mixture of insane lust for someone.

And he loved it.

"Yeosang," Jimin murmurs, looking up at him with the other male hovering over him, "I love you."

"Shut up, no you don't," Yeosang grunts, the veins on his neck flexing as he catches his breath after coming a few moments ago "You love the sex, there's a difference."

A small chuckle comes out of Jimin's lips, "Could be true," And he gazes into his eyes feeling as though he's high right now, "Can you fuck me as though you love me? I want to see if there's a difference."

Now this made Yeosang laugh, a very amused laughter that even made his eyes squint a little to the unexpected request.

"I thought love scared you a little, hm?"

Jimin shrugs, "If there's not a difference between making love and having sex, than that'll give me the reassurance that it doesn't exist."

Yeosang rolls his eyes, amusingly, before tilting his head to the side, "You do realize that making love involves us being in love?"

Hm, he's right.

Can't make love if there isn't any love to begin with.

So Jimin wraps his arms around his neck, glancing down to his lips, "Then let's act as though we're in love, just for one night."

This was a little confusing for Yeosang's mind to process where this is coming from, but he didn't question it. He wants Jimin's mind to run free without sugarcoating anything, breaking free from that prison he was in his mind.

And that's how his guard dropped, completely.

Jimin could see it, his facial expression softening as he looks at Jimin now with such tenderness in his eyes that even made Jimin's own stomach start to flutter. Yet that was nothing compared to when their lips met, something so slow and sensual that was like wine cruising through their veins.

Never has Jimin been kissed like this, sending bolts after bolts of this buzzing rush that was so new to run down his body like fire. Every touch Yeosang placed on his skin now felt more delicate, printing some type of lingering caresses that spread goosebumps through Jimin's body.

Suffocatingly satisfying, that's how it felt like.

Everything about it felt new... And Jimin didn't even know how to approach this new feeling fueling his body.

So he just kissed him back with his heart open, spilling the desperation he's been in want for him, wanting Yeosang to see not only how badly he's been wanting him but how fragile he can truly be.

When he refuses to show that side to anyone.

"Minnie," Yeosang whispers, sinking in a sharp breath when he presses himself inside him once again, "My Minnie."

Jimin quivers to the possessive tone in his voice, wrapping his legs around his torso so the balls of his feet rests to the end of his spine.

"I love you."

"No... You don't."

"Just for tonight believe me."

"Jimin," Yeosang whines under his breath, making Jimin choke a grunt when he suddenly slams into him, "Don't make this so complicated."

Jimin scowls his lips, gripping Yeosang's jaw with his fingertips to force him to face him, "What an interesting way to make love hm?"

Yeosang perks an eyebrow, "You really want me to make love to you huh?" And gently he grabs Jimin's cheeks on his face, making Jimin's hand on his jaw weaken by the sincere yet intense eye contact, "I love you."

That was like a direct shot to Jimin's heart, making him gasp to how his warm his inside felt that even forced knots in his stomach to grow much more tighter than usual.

He likes that feeling.

He likes it too much.

"S-Say it again."

By now Yeosang is picking up his pace, hovering over Jimin's face with gentle lips pressing against his repeatedly, "I love you Minnie..... I fucking love you."

So this is making love.

Feeling connected to become one with a moment of intimacy like this. Feeling no sense of shame or wandering thoughts, only focused on the person and this feeling that both are creating together. Something Jimin has been avoiding to feel for so many years, but now in this tender moment, he can see it.

The difference between making love and just sex.

The trust.

The need for each other and not just physically, but in every aspect.

To make love.

Even if this moment is fake and when they wake up in the morning they will just act as though it never happened, Jimin will remember this moment when he decides to ever feel love for someone or make love.

For this moment he felt wanted, not just for his body but for his soul.

And that's such a deep thought to cling onto.

"I-I love you," Jimin whispers between their lips, unsure how it managed to escape without mentally being aware of it, "I want you to take care of me, and I'll do the same for you, for a long time."

A breathless moans escapes Yeosang's lips, "Jimin..... I can't lose you.... I need you in my life," The sudden confession sounded so real, even by how Yeosang suddenly hugged Jimin's body even as he still thrusts inside him, "I need you Minnie."

Jimin closes his eyes, his throat tightening to the sensitive words. Even if it wasn't real, Jimin would like to think that Yeosang is being honest.

It made his heart feel good.

So he hugs Yeosang back too, molding their lips back together.

"And I never want to stop needing you Yeosang."

By Jimin's gentle words was enough to make both of them reach their climax at the same time, riding out their high before they soon stopped in exhaustion.

And it was silent.

The only sound echoing the room is their heavy pants, trying to capture their breathes and stamina from the amount of times they've fucked already. Now all that's left is that lingering emotion to that last one.

Where they made love.

Jimin was still in a state of awe to what just happened that he didn't even notice when Yeosang pulled back from inside him, but he snaps more out of it when Yeosang raises his head to meets Jimin's gaze.

His own filled with sparkles of stars, but clearly trying to fight them back.

"And that's how you make love," He whispers, giving Jimin this longing look before he was about to roll off him but Jimin captures his lips one last time.

He just.... Wanted to.

He needed to, just to see if that feeling was still there.

And it was.

The thing about that is..... Jimin knew Yeosang felt it too.

That much is obvious by the way Yeosang looked at him when they pulled away once again, not saying another word before he moves off Jimin to lay beside him.

It didn't last long like this before the two slowly found themselves in each other's arms again, where it felt safe, falling into a heavy and deep sleep.

_________________________

A/N:

That was one emotional smut.

Wow.....

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