I'm emotionally drained. I cant find anymore tears, and I finally got Gaby to stop crying.Purgatory, again, fuck. My first priority is Gaby. "How about we move your crib to my room, and then we can move from there" I talk to the little child.I set her in a basket and try to push the huge oak crib sammy made. Its too late for my sore muscles and I cant stop crying. We could sleep in my bed for one night, but its small and she would probably roll out, Sams bed would be big enough. "How about we go check out uncle sammys bed for one night?" she makes some cute gurgling laughing noises as I cry and walk down to sams room. 

Ive slept in his bed before. I was having nightmares of lucifer and sam and I felt so alone and I just got up and walked to his room and curled up next to him. I felt safe, but he was gone now. I remember waking up to him rubbing my shoulder and asking if I was ok. I told him that now I was, and fell back asleep. It was last week, but now it feels like yesterday. 

I gently lay down Gabriella and lay down next to her and wrap around a protective arm. The scent of Sam makes a couple tears trickle down my face. I finally feel what I've been questioning for so long. Love. But its too late.