"Cruelty towards others is always also cruelty towards ourselves."

- Paul Tillich

                                                                            ***

Sirius returned covered in dirt and with a small gash open on his temple. When she had tried to ask if he was all right, he'd just waved her off and disappeared into the bathroom where he'd spent what Galloway thought was an unreasonable amount of time in the shower. She was pretty sure the only reason he got out was because the water ran cold.

They left just as the sun was setting and drove for three hours in complete silence. It had to break eventually.

"Why did I kiss you?" The words were out of her mouth before she could really consider them.

She expected certain things from Sirius. Him suggesting that they "enjoy the ride", as he had so eloquently put it, was not one of those things. 

Teasing? Yes. Flirting? Definitely. The occasional physical confrontation? More than definitely.

But this wasn't one of those things. It was, in fact, very far from what she expected, considering where "enjoying the ride" would take them. Where it would take her. And perhaps this fell into one of the categories of the expected. But it didn't feel that way.

It felt more...serious. She frowned, wishing he had picked a name that was slightly less ludicrous. But the fact remained that she had never heard that particular tone of voice from him before and it had been a marvelous testament to her self-control to wait for so long to ask.

When he didn't answer, she looked over to find him glaring at the snow fluttering past the window. She bit her lip, wondering if she should ask again, or if she should leave it alone. Then she decided that this whole repression thing hadn't been working stunningly well lately.

She might as well give communication a shot.

As soon as she opened her mouth though, Sirius said, "What's it matter?"

"It seemed to matter when we woke up."

"Because you're tired of telling me no, apparently," he said flippantly, his tone instantly grating on her nerves.

She blinked, perplexed. "What?"

Sirius turned to her, a smug smile that didn't reach his eyes playing around his mouth. 

She bit her lip, wanting to slap that expression right off his face. "And what does that mean, exactly?"

He stretched, ruffling his hair up a little. "Just that. Either way, it's not like you really said it, so who cares?"

Galloway raised a suspicious eyebrow. "I'm tired of saying no?" she repeated. "That's all it took for a ghost to lure you in and jump you?"

Sirius smirked, like he was enjoying some private joke. "Well, that wasn't how you—it—whatever, said it."

"Then how—," she began, then shook her head. "No. Never mind. That's not really what I want to know about anyway."

It was agonizing to let this drop—to not ask if he was okay after being freaking possessed—but she could already tell that he wasn't going to say anything about it... Even if he maybe should talk about it. 

That didn't mean she believed him though, and Galloway wanted to understand what the ghost could have possibly said to make Sirius drop his guard enough to get possessed. But there was something a little more pressing than even that.

"Then what would you like to discuss?" Sirius asked. "You obviously have something on your mind."

She gave him a disbelieving look. How could she not have something on her mind after he'd said something so stupid and so potentially what she wanted to hear?

He only returned the look with a politely interested eyebrow. Galloway shook her head with an exasperated huff and said, "I think you already know."

There was a moment of silence where Sirius just stared at her, brow furrowed. Then, he laughed. The sound was cold, but strained; spring ice just waiting to break and reveal what was beneath it.

"What about any of this is funny?" she demanded. "You said that we should stop pretending! Pretending what? You said that there's something between us and we should just—"

"We should just what?" Sirius interrupted. "I never specified that we should do anything."

"You said this is only going to end one way," she hissed, knuckles whitening on the steering wheel. "As far as I'm concerned, the only way this ends if we quit pretending," she made her voice as mocking as possible, "is that I end up in Hell. Permanently."

He laughed again, the sound bitter now. "I just said that maybe we should enjoy the ride. One way or the other, with or without you, the world's going to end bloody, sweetheart. Might as well find a little satisfaction along the way."

Her breath puffed out in surprise at his words. Flicking the windshield wipers on as the snow thickened, she asked, voice bleak, "Satisfaction?"

Sirius looked at her blankly. "Yes?" He drew the word out.

"What kind of satisfaction?" She was already certain that she was going to hate the next words out of his mouth. That she was going to hate him for saying them.

He gave her that wicked smile of his and all but purred, "I'd be more than happy to show you. We could probably manage a whole lot of satisfaction before Theron gets wise."

The way he said the word made her shiver involuntarily. Half-imagined, half-remembered images of what that would be like flickered through her head like a badly spliced movie reel. Her breath stopped when her hair was brushed to the side and his mouth was suddenly on her neck.

She didn't dare move, frozen by desire and horror. Lately, those two things had been feeling increasingly similar.

Speaking against her skin, he murmured, "See? Something between us. You want it too."

That one tiny word broke her paralysis and she slammed on the brakes. The car skidded an impressive distance on the slick pavement, turning sideways on the blessedly empty road. Sirius rubbed at his shoulder where he had been thrown into the passenger door.

For a moment, it was so quiet Galloway imagined she could hear the hiss of snow evaporating as it landed on the warm hood of the car. The engine grumbled in reproach at the sudden stop and she twisted the key, killing it.

With a screech of hinges, she threw the door open and paced back down the road, her breath clouding in the cold. She stopped after about fifteen feet, shocked and scared by the unadulterated fury pouring through her.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. Rhys' words echoed in her head, reminding her what it meant when her emotions were so spectacularly out of control.

Galloway wanted nothing more than to feel something's blood on her hands.

She should have known better.

The anger gave way just as quickly to sorrow and she bit savagely into her lip, fingers gripping into her hair as she struggled. She wondered if this was her fault. If Sirius only had this Soul-deep unsettling effect on her because she let him.

Stinging snow kissed at her face and she inhaled the bitingly cold air. It felt like knives in her lungs.

He didn't follow her. And maybe that was for the best.

She shook her head. It was certainly for the best. Now she could remember how to be properly mad at him. Eventually, Galloway felt like she had succeeded in freezing her insides. She turned back to the car where Sirius sat, watching the long, dark road.

She got in, shivering from the cold that was inside and out. She cranked the engine, holding her fingers against the vents as hot air blasted over them. Slowly, she righted the car, horrified that she'd taken such a chance.

If another car had been heading their way, they would have t-boned the Chevelle and Galloway would have probably had a couple more senseless deaths on her conscience.

And if the crash didn't kill them, Galloway might have in a fit of rage over her car. Senseless either way.

When they were moving again, she calmly asked, "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

In what might have been misery or cruelty, he responded, "That's all there is to say."

"Okay."

                                                                            ~~~

Later, her anger and sadness mellowed into the temperate tolerance she had so often employed in the first few months after Theron had stuck them together. Sirius wasn't exactly surly, but he wasn't the same either. She didn't quite know what to make of him, actually.

Which seemed familiar and safe, but at the same time tasted bitter.

He woke up just as she was pulling into a miniscule town. She parked on the side of a broad main street lined with quaint little boutiques and cozy cafes. Looking around, he said, "What are you doing? I don't smell the Debt here."

She opened her door and went around to the trunk. After a moment, he joined her and she said, "Not the town we're supposed to be in."

He watched in resigned apprehension when she tucked her gun into the back of her belt. Tonelessly, she asked, "I don't suppose you want a gun?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, scoffing. "No. But if this isn't the right town, then why are we here? And why do you need a gun?"

Galloway sighed. She shut the trunk to find him glaring sullenly at her, arms crossed. She pursed her lips, then handed him a newspaper she'd managed to pick up at the last gas station.

He scanned the paper, his eyebrows drawing closer and closer together as he read. "Three missing. Four grave disturbances." He looked up at her. "Grave disturbances and people missing? If I didn't know any better I'd say the grave disturbances was the work of ghouls."

Galloway nodded. "Very good, Sirius. Look at that. Maybe you would make a decent Hunter."

Sirius rubbed above his eyebrow with his middle finger, and she rolled her eyes. He looked back down at the paper. "But it says people are missing. Ghouls don't go after live game."

She blinked slowly. "Did you just call those people live game?"

"Yeah," he said with a shrug.

Galloway shook her head a little more vehemently. "Okay, how 'bout don't. Also," she added haughtily, "it's rare that ghouls go after people, but it isn't unheard of."

"You still haven't answered why we're here," Sirius said, even though she knew he understood perfectly well what they were doing here. 

When she didn't answer, his eyes went to where her gun was hidden under her jacket and he shook his head. "Oh, you've got to be joking! We just got our asses handed to us by the last dead thing we tried kill. I'm a Hellhound. This is not my job!"

"That's not what you said before," she pointed out.

"It's what I'm saying now," he said petulantly.

Galloway stared at him for a long time, trying to see past the veil he had drawn between them. Eventually she had to give up and, with a shrug, said, "Fine. Why don't you go get us a room while I do a little digging." She frowned. "Er, figuratively speaking."

"Why are we doing this, Galloway?" he asked tiredly.

"Because reasons," she snapped. "Are you coming with me or not?"

He hesitated and her eyes widened. She hadn't actually thought he wouldn't come. Sirius narrowed his eyes at her, then raked his hands through his hair. Stalking past her, he growled, "Why do you want to keep playing with dead things?"

If he had to ask for an explanation, there was absolutely no way she could make him understand. Hunting wasn't a decision so much as it was a compulsion.

"You don't have to come," she called after him. She didn't want to force him, considering how phenomenally wrong their last hunt had gone.

"Right," he grumbled. "So you can get turned into a tasty snack, leaving me to figure out how the fuck to explain that to Theron?"

"I can hear you, you know," she said, having to wait for a slow moving Subaru to pass before she could catch him.

"Good!" he snipped.

She opened her mouth to ask what, exactly, his problem was, then stopped and sighed. She knew what his problem was.

And it brought a cruel sense of satisfaction to think that perhaps he was as unhappy as she was. 

                                                                             ~~~

Later that night found them walking through the local cemetery, looking for where the ghouls had been living. Or...un-living. Galloway wasn't really sure.

"Is there a reason the sheriff was so accommodating?" Sirius asked. "He hardly blinked when you asked him all those questions. You didn't even have to flash one of those fake badges."

She sighed dramatically. "I know. Takes all the fun out of it." Galloway turned her flashlight on him and he squinted, his eyes reflecting the light back at her. Pursing her lips, she said, "Sometimes the small town law enforcement can get a little touchy if you do flash a federal badge. It was easier to just—"

"Use those freaky ass mind control powers of yours?" he interrupted.

Galloway gave him a sour look, not liking his tone. Turning her flashlight away, she shrugged. "Who cares how I did it?"

They walked deeper into the cemetery, heading toward some mausoleums the sheriff had told her about. Sirius sniffed at the air. "Oh yeah. They've definitely been coming around here."

"You can smell them?" Galloway asked, then wondered why she was surprised.

He looked at her with disdain. "You can't?"

"Not from here I can't," she responded waspishly, following him to one of the older looking tombs.

She nodded at Sirius to open the door, then gagged as the smell rolled over her. She cleared the small room, then covered her nose with her sleeve.

"Oh that's nasty," he whined as he took in the half eaten bodies—varying in freshness—that were piled on the floor. 

"Don't be a baby," she said, even as her own eyes watered. She crouched down to get a closer look.

"Shut up," Sirius snapped. "Humans like you can't smell anything! You have no idea how ungodly this smell actually is."

Galloway couldn't help it. She snickered and said, "Would you really know what a godly smell was?"

"Oh! Ha. Ha. Ha. Hilarious. If the floor wasn't so disgusting I'd be rolling around laughing." He glared, which just succeeded in turning her snicker into a full blown laugh.

Her hilarity died when his head snapped to the side, his shoulders tensing as he looked back outside. She followed his gaze, seeing nothing but blackness. "What—"

"Sh!" Sirius held up his hand, and she could imagine his ears pricking forward like a dog on point. He walked toward the entrance, peering into the darkness. "Stay here."

"What?" Galloway hissed, her temper flaring. "No way!"

"Just..." He growled. "Just stay here, okay? I can see a lot better in the dark than you can."

She threw her hands up angrily when he left without giving her the chance to argue further. "Right," she muttered, "'cause that went so well last time."

But he was already gone and she wasn't about to go poking around in the dark after a surly Hellhound. Especially not when she had a job to do.

Still swearing, she turned and moved deeper into the mausoleum, light slipping over what looked like older meals. She grimaced. Ghouls were nauseating.

Galloway heard a scuffing sound behind her and turned to ask Sirius if he'd found anything. She didn't get the chance before something slammed into her, knocking her to the ground. The gun spun out of her grasp, clattering against the stone floor.

"Son of a bitch!" she spat, gagging as dead, congealed blood stuck to the back of her neck. She squirmed, turning her head, and more smeared across her cheek.

"Hunter!" the ghoul hissed, pinning her to the ground. It grabbed her hair, using it to slam her head back into the hard stone.

"Close, but not quite," she choked, woozy from the smell and the additional head trauma.

The ghoul bent closer, sniffing at her cheek. "Mm."

Galloway bucked up, trying to knock the creature off of her. All she managed to do was wiggle sideways into a pile of guts. 

"Now stop that. It's easier if you don't struggle." The ghoul brought its teeth closer to her throat. She thrashed, trying to ignore the squish of intestines under her.

She snorted, regretted breathing so deeply through her nose, then growled, "Screw you!"

The ghoul snapped its teeth as she struggled to hold it off of her, forearm pressing into its chest. Unfortunately, whoever the ghoul had eaten last was a big, older man and fairly heavy. Her other hand scrambled through various body parts, searching for her gun.

The muscles in her arm were trembling. Her fingers brushed metal, but she couldn't reach any farther. Grimacing, she looked up into the ghoul's cloudy white eyes. A sticky string of drool dripped from its snapping teeth.

She shuddered when it landed on her cheek and screeched as her arm slowly gave, letting the thing get closer and closer. Galloway tried to throw the ghoul to the side one more time, but it didn't work.

Snarling and swearing, she chanced craning her head back to find her gun. Half-buried under a pile of shredded intestines, the metal glimmered with a slick shine of silver.

Galloway twisted desperately, the blood covering her making her slide against the floor and the ghoul. Her hand slapped down onto the gun just as teeth sank into her back, just at her shoulder blade.

Pain and rage spurred a fresh burst of adrenaline. She heaved herself onto her hands and knees, then pushed as hard as she could. They both went over backwards, Galloway thrashing and twisting against the ghoul's arms around her waist. Its broken nails tore the skin of her abdomen as it tried to hold her.

She rolled in the thing's grasp, its eyes going wide right before she smashed the butt of the pistol into its nose. There was a nasty crunch and the ghoul howled, its grip loosening a fatal amount.

Galloway reared up to her knees, the barrel of the gun dragging across the ghoul's forehead. It screamed something that was lost in the blast of a gunshot.

Her eyes closed as the blowback sprayed rotten blood and soupy brain matter across her face. Ears ringing, she stumbled to her feet, just to smack right into something alive.

She whirled, finger on the trigger, but Sirius caught her wrist. Heart pounding hard, she gasped in several breaths, eyes going down to the dead ghoul.

"Are you all right?"

She looked down at the dark stains soaking her clothes. She pointed at the bodies on the ground. "It's their blood."

He nodded. "I killed another in one of the other mausoleums." He looked down at his hands in disgust, gore dripping from the tips of his fingers. "Lovely. Ghouls guts. Just how I wanted to spend my evening."

Ignoring his accusatory tone, she said, "Hey, you weren't the only one rolling around in dead people today."

"Yes. But it's your fault that I was." Sirius frowned at the corpses. "Are we done here? I'd like a shower. Or seven."

Galloway shook her head, casting her eyes toward the cobwebbed ceiling. She went back out to the car and returned with a can of gasoline. She looked at Sirius. "Could you get the other ghoul and bring it over here?"

He pointed at the gas can. "That's not going to burn the human bodies enough."

She sighed and shook the container, the liquid sloshing around inside. "I know. I don't care about destroying the victims. Ghouls burn easily. Most of the time you don't even need anything, but using an accelerant will burn those suckers to ash. I want to hide the ghouls. The victims should be found and returned to their families."

He blinked twice, slowly. "But they're dead."

Now she shook her head sadly. "People still want to know, Sirius. They're missed by someone, somewhere." She gestured with the can. "Now, would you go bring that other ghoul over here?"

With a scoff, he snatched the container away from her, muttering under his breath. She stood watching as he disappeared into one of the closer mausoleums, then frowned as he calmly walked back out after a minute, a fire roaring up behind him.

"What?" he asked when he noticed her disapproval. He took what was left in the gas can and started pouring it onto the bodies. The sweet, oily smell of the gasoline was a relief after the stench of death. He looked at her over his shoulder. "It's not like two fires are going to draw any less attention than one would."

Silently, Galloway handed him a matchbook she'd picked up at their last motel. They both took a step back and Sirius tossed the lit matchbook in after them. The fire roared up with a satisfying plume of heat, and they walked quickly back to the car.

Galloway drove to the next town over, looking for a place to crash for the night. As they drove, Sirius wrinkled his nose and said, "You stink."

She snorted and cast a withering look at him. "You're the one covered in ghouls guts."

Sirius went silent, perhaps contemplating this. Finally, he muttered, "Then maybe it's just me."

Pulling into a shabby-looking motel at the very edge of town, she put the car in park and looked at her clothes, which were covered in blood and viscera, then studied whatever Sirius was covered in. She bit her lip. "How are we going to check in?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. Dryly, he said, "Using your Jedi mind tricks, Obi Wan."

She closed her eyes briefly, huffing out a breath through her nose. Opening the door, she hissed, "Just stay here, okay? I can mind control a lot better than you can."

"Funny!" he called when she imitated what he had told her in the graveyard. She waved a hand over her shoulder, sauntering toward the front desk.

She whistled at him when she'd paid for a room, and he shook his head in aggravation before grabbing their stuff and joining her as she unlocked the door. Frowning at the smell, she said, "Why don't you shower first? I'm not even sure what exactly is all over you."

"I do!" he grumbled. "Your stupid little hobby. That's exactly what's all over me."

Galloway rolled her eyes, his petulance starting to wear very thin. He should have been happier considering that this hunt had gone rather smoothly. As hunts go, that was. Making a little shooing motion at him, she said, "Hurry up. Save some hot water for me."

He looked around the room skeptically. "I'm not even sure there'll be enough hot water for me."

Galloway turned away from him and peeled off her ruined jacket, then her red and black checkered button-down, grimacing as it stuck to her. Even her tank top was soaked. The previously grey material clung to her back and sides, and she didn't even want to think about the damage to her jeans.

She jumped when Sirius came up behind her, resting his hands lightly on her hips.

"You know there is a solution to the hot water issue," he whispered, teeth grazing against her earlobe.

She hid her shiver in an irritated sigh. It was difficult to believe he was actually doing this again, but then, she wasn't too terribly surprised. His impulse control was worse than hers by miles. Still, she would have thought that he'd maybe take a different approach after what had happened four days ago in the middle of a dark Virginia road.

She smirked. It was her turn to play with him a little. She turned in his arms so that she was facing him. Ignoring the red streaks on her bare arms, she wrapped them around his shoulders, enjoying as he struggled to keep the surprise off his face.

Trying to maintain control, he smirked back and said, "I mean, we do work so well together. Might as well continue to help one another."

"Might as well." Galloway sighed, looking at him through coy lashes. His arms circled tighter around her. "But..." she said just as he brought his mouth to the corner of her jaw.

Sirius pulled back, eyes dark with desire and she wanted to laugh. There was something satisfying in the fact that she elicited this response, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

She stood on her toes to whisper in his ear, "But...you're obviously in need of a cold shower. So I think I'll go first."

With a laugh, she gripped the collar of his shirt and twisted sideways, hooking her heel behind his, throwing him onto the bed just behind her. She grinned at the startled look he gave her as he hit the mattress. With a wink, she sashayed to the bathroom and closed the door. Immediately the sense of triumph abandoned her, and she slumped back against the door, hating everything.

Through the door, she heard him mutter, "The lady isn't a tramp. She's a tease."

She shook her head, not sure she wanted to be compared to that particular Sinatra song. She shed her clothes and stepped into the shower. It was cleaner than she had expected.

Galloway didn't want to be a tramp, a tease or anything in between. Why didn't he realize that he just never gave her any other choice? She watched clotted red swirl down the drain as she scrubbed. 

He knew as well as she did why she couldn't break this stupid, heart-tearing pattern of theirs.

She closed her eyes, remembering the heat of his mouth on her skin. Why couldn't he just be either kind or cruel? The back and forth was what was killing her.

When she was clean, she turned the water off and stepped out, wiping the steam off the mirror and dried herself off. She glanced carelessly at her reflection and frowned at the still purple bruise on her cheek from the asylum.

Resolutely, she turned away from the mirror and her heart dropped straight through the floor when she realized she hadn't brought clean clothes into the bathroom. She wrapped the towel around her, then hissed in disgust. As always, motel room towels were much too small.

With a sigh, she looked down at all of her legs, then shook her head. There was just nothing else to do. It wasn't like she could ask him for help.

Squaring her shoulders as much as she could without risking the loss of the towel, she strode back into the main room, head held high. Sirius turned from where he had been looking out the window, and she almost wanted to smile at how wide his eyes got.

She considered throwing the Bible that was sitting on the nightstand at him when his eyes slid down to her bare legs. The cosmic appropriateness of that amused her enough to make her ire dissipate.

Frowning at him, she didn't bother to explain before she grabbed what she wanted out of her bag and turned back to the bathroom, beating a hasty retreat. She could practically feel his gaze burning over her as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Slumping against the door again, she grimly thought, All's fair, right?

Once more, she heard him speak through the thin door. "She seems to have crossed the line from tease directly into cruel."

Jerkily pulling on her clothes, she bitterly thought, You went there first, Sirius.