Lucas,1983,Huntsville,Alabama

It's been six months since Caleb whispered those sweet words and we laid under the stars together. He hasn't mentioned what he said on that night again, but he has been more touchy with me then he used to be. Before we would only touch each other to comfort one another but now he seems to always be hugging me for no apparent reason or sometimes just grazing his hand against mine when no else is looking. To most, this may seem like nothing, but to me it's everything. This boy drives me crazy but in the absolute best way possible. Right now we were at our secret hideout trying to catch fish at the pond, and later he actually would get to spend the night with me. Caleb told me he wanted a break from his sister, but I knew the truth. I noticed how much he had been limping lately. The beatings had gotten worse, ever since his sister got a boyfriend and started ignoring their daddy's wishes.

" Lucas look I caught one," Caleb said holding up a baby Brim.

" Of course a city boy like yourself would be excited by such a measly catch," I say laughing so hard that I start coughing.

" Oh shut up country boy, you haven't caught anything at all!" He said sticking his tongue out at me.

" Well I know I rather catch nothing at all, then catch a sissy lookin thing like that," I say teasingly.

" Nah, I know your secretly jealous, that a city boy is better at fishing then you are." He teases back while tossing the fish back into the pond.

" Well considering, I caught two Cat Fish the last time we fished I think I'll live," I say smirking at his annoyed expression.

" Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night." He mumbles, knowing I'm right then proceeds to put his fishing pole up and come sit by me.

" Well considering you'll be sleeping in my bed tonight, I don't think I'll be getting any sleep with your loud snores," I say bumping my leg into his jokingly, but before I can move my leg back he places his hand on my upper thigh. I swear my heart feels like it's about to beat out of my chest as soon, as I feel his hand and it gets even worse when he starts moving his thumb in small circles.

" Hey, my snores are not that bad, now your kicking that's pretty bad." Caleb snorts rather loudly, acting like his hand isn't in a weird place for a boy to have on another boy.

" Well I'm sorry, that's my only defense against you trying to use me like a teddy bear. " I say. Trying to ignore his hand, in fear of him removing it if I bring too much attention to it.

" Oh come on, you know my cuddles are the best." He says smirking at me, and I laugh knowing he's right but not about to say anything about it to scare him off.

I spend the next few hours trying to catch a fish, and during this time he just leaves his hand on my thigh not once moving his hand. I finally give up trying to find a fish, knowing it will be too hard to concentrate with his hand there.

" I'll race you back to the house," I smirking fully aware of who would win.

" Don't look so smug Lucas, I've been practicing this time I'll beat you for sure!" He says sounding so sure of himself.

" Come on city boy, I think we both know how this is going to play out why don't stop before you hurt yourself." I tease making him roll his eyes.

" Are you sure you're just not scared, to be beat once again little country boy." He mocks.

" Okay, don't say I didn't warn you though," I said already knowing what the end result of this race will be.

We use a stick to mark the starting line, and we declare the end of the woods the finish line. Then we both count down from three to zero, as soon as we both hit the last number I take off in a sprint. I can hear Caleb struggling to keep up, and it makes me happy as usual to know that there is something I'm good at that he's not. I'm almost to the edge of the woods when I feel a shift in the air, and I turn my head to see what's going on. Before I can take in what's happening, I feel a body crash on top of me and knock the wind out of me as we both fall.

" Told you I would win." He says with a wink.

" I don't think cheating counts as winning." I tease poking his cheek.

" Yeah whatever I'm the one on the top right now, so if you want to get up, I demand an award." He says look very intensely at my face, first into my eyes then down at my lips.

" What kind of prize would you like city boy?" I whisper my voice feeling somewhat hoarse by his closeness.

" I don't know country boy, what kind award do I deserve?" He whispers stroking my dark brown hair behind my ear.

Before I can answer, he leans down slowly eyeing my lips hungrily, but when he gets near my lips, he instead turns toward my cheek and licks it covering it in his slobber.

" Ewww really you piss head!" I push him off of me in disgust and jump up rubbing his spit off of my face.

" Come on, you know you secretly liked it." He winks at me once again, making me wonder if maybe he just has a weird eye twitch.

" Well at least, you used your award on something stupid," I say smugly.

" It was not stupid, you tasted pretty good actually." He says smirking.

" What are you a cannibal now city boy?" I say with a laugh.

" I mean with the way you taste, I can say I would definitely eat you at least." He says trying to keep a straight face but failing.

" You're a strange one city boy." I laugh with a shake of my head.

" But that's why you love me." He says this joking, but his words send my mind in a frenzy. Did I love him, I mean I knew I had feelings for him but are they strong enough to be love? I think while I have strong feelings, they're not quite at love yet. The thought of actually falling in love with him scares me because I'm afraid the way he's acting has been all in my head. That he'll call me names again like he did before and abandon me for another Lily. It's funny even if he did that again, I probably would still want him. So that's why I can't fall in love with him if I do, there will be no going back. If he doesn't want me the way I want him, he'll have the power to destroy me.

" Whatever you big goof, let's hurry and get to my house for dinner before my pisshead of a brother eats all the food. " I say while putting my arm around his shoulder.

After we get back to my house, we sit through a torturous dinner with my family. My mamma keeps gushing over Caleb and keeps bringing his pisshead of a father up. Which makes me mad, Caleb came over here to escape from his daddy not be reminded of him every second. Then my brother keeps making piss head comments towards me. I try to control my anger though because I know mama just wants to ignore the empty chair next to her, where my daddy once sat but hasn't since last year. This is why I never come home anymore, ever since my daddy's car accident happened nothing has been okay. This is the real reason I think Caleb came back for me that night, instead of going with Lily because he felt bad for me.

I feel my breath quicken at the thought of my daddy, even though we weren't as close as we used to be when he died. I remembered when he used to take me to his shop and have me be his little helper and how happy he used to be talking about his cars with anyone who would listen to him. I felt my hands start to shake while I was eating, so I put them under the table to try to get them under control and just when I was about to give up on controlling them I felt a hand take mine and rub circles on my hand. I looked at Caleb who wasn't even looking at me, just looking at my mamma nodding his head at everything she said. We sat through the rest of the dinner with his hand rubbing mine.

When we were finally laying in my bed, in the darkness, next to each other is when I let go of my tears. Caleb opened his arms, and I fell into them the tears now somehow coming faster. I felt his hand go to my back and rub small circles on my lower back making me shiver.

" Are you cold." He whispers breathlessly.

" No quite the opposite actually," I say laying my soaking wet face on his bare chest, and I feel him shiver too.

"I'm sorry about my mama and her big mouth," I whisper into his chest, hoping he doesn't hear me but like always he does.

" Lucas, my silly country boy, you don't expect me to apologize for my father being a pisshead so why you should apologize for your mother's questions when she's just hurting like you are." He says in a surprisingly stern tone of voice.

When I don't say anything, he puts his thumb under my chin making me raise my head to look him in the eyes. I just stare into those beautiful orbs letting myself get lost before I finally answer.

" No, but your father is a scary man so of course, you can't stop him from being a pisshead but I can, no I should be able to stop my mamma from bringing up stupid questions about the man who hurts the person I care about the most," I whisper my crying starting all over again only this time I'm not mourning my dead father but my Caleb who is very alive and hurting.

" Shhh don't cry for me Lucas, save those tears for someone more deserving." He says wiping his thumb down my cheek.

" Dumb city boy didn't you hear me, you are the person I care the most about," I say thumping his forehead with my finger, and I'm about to do it again when he catches my finger bringing it to his lips and kissing it. The butterflies erupt in my stomach stronger than they ever have, at the feeling of his soft lips.

" Well my little country boy, you should find someone more worthy of your feelings. " He says sadly and regretfully.

" Don't put yourself down so much Caleb, you definitely deserve someone to care about you, you're something to behold never forget that," I say somehow getting up the nerve to kiss his cheek. A little scared of his reaction to me kissing his cheek, I close my eyes tightly preparing for rejection from him once again, but I am surprised when I feel him kiss my cheek back.

" No, you're the one to behold, good night my beautiful little country boy." He whispers the last part so quietly I almost don't hear, but it brings the biggest smile I've had since my dad's death.

We both fall asleep in one another arm's, somehow becoming even closer than we did on Halloween night.