Lucas,1986,Huntsville,Alabama 

It's been two months since Caleb got mad at me. Before in the halls, he wouldn't even look at me. Now everywhere I went, he would glare at me. I tried to talk to him but he would turn the other way, when I even was in the same area as him. Greg told this was a good thing, that maybe I can finally let go. Ironically this only made me hold on even more. I hated being the one to screw up for once. I was trying to get over him,I really was. You don't get over your first love easily, it takes time and distance. That's the problem, time was advancing on but distance stayed the same. Greg just dropped me at the barren place I call home. I'm not looking forward to seeing my skin and bones mother, who constantly scratches. 

When I enter the door, I'm surprised to see my brother home for once. He's usually out drinking almost every night with his friends, which is saddening considering he's only twelve years old. At that age Caleb and I would would go catch frogs or play in the woods. My little brother hung out with the wrong kind of people, they were a few years older than him. With my mamma in such a bad place, it was easy for him to do whatever he wanted. He never listened to me, heck he was already bigger than me.

" Where's mamma?" I ask looking around the living room. When I look at him,I'm shocked to see his eyes bloodshot, he had been crying. My brother never cried, he drank away his emotions.

" Where is she?" I ask again my voice quivering.

" She's in the hospital." He whispers staring down at his hands.

" The hospital." I say not believing the words.

" She overdosed, they don't know if she'll make it." He whispers, his voice hoarse. 

His words send my heart into a downward spiral. Sure, she hadn't exactly been completely here the last few years but she still was my mamma. I look around the house for my mamma's car keys and I try to convince my brother to come with me. He just shakes his head and says he's going to a friend's house. Figures, I would have to face this alone. While I told Greg many secrets this is one I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I hadn't even admitted it myself, I saw the signs. I just didn't want it to be real. I get in the car but I can't bring myself to start it. What if when I get there, she's already gone? What if I could have stopped this? I can't bring myself to face the judging stares of doctors and nurses as they tell me the news.  

All of the sudden I hear a knock on my window, when I look I'm surprised to see him. I open the door hurriedly and run straight into his arms, not caring if other people see. He catches me and wraps his arms tightly around, giving me the safe feeling I miss. 

" Lucas, what's wrong?" He asks clear worry in voice. 

" It's my mom." I whisper tears streaming down my face as I finally let myself go. 

" Where is she?" He asks, not forcing me to go into detail.

" The hospital." I whisper breathing in his familiar scent. 

"Come on give me the keys, I'll drive you." He whispers into my hair, pulling away from me.

 I just nod and hand him the keys, trusting him completely. We get in and drive in silence, he puts one of his hands on top of mine. His hand helps put me at ease, until we're at the hospital. Then I start to shake in fear. I stare of the big and looming building, remembering last time I was here. My daddy was pronounced dead and the world I once knew was shaken up. Before I can let myself get lost in my dark thoughts, I feel his hand on mine again. This time gripping my hand in his bringing me back to reality. 

" Thank you for being here, Caleb." I whisper almost choking on his name.

 He's a better person than me. Even though he's mad at me, he still is here for me. Unlike Greg who would ask too many questions. He just knows I'm hurting and wants to be there for me. 

" Lucas, you can do this ,I promise I'll be right by your side." He whispers, rubbing my tears away with his thumb. 

I take a deep breath and let go of his hand. I get out of the car with forced effort and he does the same. He doesn't take my hand but he does stick closely to me, putting his hand on my lower back. He guides me through out the hospital, doing all the talking until we find her floor. I just watch all of this in a numb state. Hospitals now give me paralyzing fear, nothing good comes from hospitals. We finally make it to her floor but are forced to wait in the waiting room.  We sit in complete silence, and I feel my hands start to shake. Caleb seems to notice and takes my hand, squeezing it tightly, instantly calming me. We sit like this for hours before a doctor finally comes up to us. I spring up, scared to death.

" Are you Lucas Harrison?" He asks staring at me.

" Yes sir, that's me." I say in a quivering voice.

" Well the good news is you mother is in  stable condition." The doctor says with a forced smile. His words make my heart soar, my mamma was alive.

" What's the bad news?" I ask, happy about his previous words but scared of his next words.

" Her mind has been little messed up due to the overdose." He says, his mouth turning into it's normal frown.

" What's that mean?" I ask worried.

" She might have some slight brain problems, when she wakes up." The doctor states like it's no big deal.

" Like what?" Caleb asks in a demanding voice.

" We won't know until she wakes up." The doctor then looks at his watch.

" Sorry, boys I have an appointment but you can come back tomorrow." The doctor says once again with a forced smile.

" Tomorrow?" Caleb asks again in that demanding tone.

" Yes, she needs some rest for the night plus visiting hours are over, I really need to go." The  doctor says walking away in a hurry. 

" This is bullshit!" Caleb yells.

" No its okay, let's just go." I whisper tugging on his sleeve.

" Are you sure?" He asks still angry.

" Yeah, at least I know she's stable." I say, my lips wobbling slightly. 

" Okay, we'll leave since you want too." He says taking my hand in his. I look down at our hands, surprised that he would hold my hand in public. Then I remember that he chose her over me, I yank my hand out of his. 

We make our way back to the car and drive home in silence. Comfortable silence, which is odd since we hadn't been this close in months. I guess that showed just how much we had loved each other, well love for me. 

We finally make it back to my house and park in my pitch dark driveway. We sit there for a few minutes before I say something.

" Caleb, thank you for being there, even though I fucked up." I whisper forcing the words out.

" Of course I would be there,you were always there even when I fucked up." He says with a bitter chuckle. 

" Yeah but my fuck up, makes your fuck ups look innocent." I say laughing along with him. I then turn to him and lean in, kissing him on the cheek.

This makes him pull back with a wince, clutching his cheek in pain. I turn on the light inside the car and that's when I notice. I can't believe I didn't notice before, I guess I was so caught up with what was happening with my mom. Plus I didn't see him at school much this week but now that I'm actually in a good state of mind. I see that his face and neck is covered in so many bruises, that I can't even tell what's skin anymore. I gasp, touching his face gently. Not believing it had actually gotten this bad.

" Your father is getting bad again." I whisper scared for the boy I love.

" He's just been drinking more lately, I'll be fine." He says as always making up excuses for his shitty father.

" I guess they should become drinking buddies." He jokes trying to lighten the mood.

" Caleb, seriously this is getting bad." I whisper,rubbing my thumb along his bruised jaw line.

" I'll be fine." He says forcing a smile.

" Yeah, because all these bruises on your face, clearly say that you're fine." I say sarcastically.

" How about this,  if it ever gets to bad, I'll meet you at the club house or your house?" He asks, well more like begs me. 

" Fine but you better promise me." I relent giving in.

" I promise." He whispers leaning in kissing me on the cheek. 

I should know better than to trust his stupid promises. He broke bigger ones than this but I can't but hope that he'll actually keep this one. That for once he won't try to carry such a large burden on his own.