Downtown Minneapolis 

New Years Eve 2023  

The coveted New Year's Eve kiss with a new lover. It's something we long for and dream of because a kiss like that... is, well it's magical. A kiss like that should erase any future first kisses.

I want it. I am twenty-nine and have not had this yet, but tonight, that's all about to change. I may not have been seeing Thad long....I know, I don't like his name either, but I swear he's not a douchey kind of Thad.

We met by chance at a grocery store. Well, sort of. I went there when I read in Cosmo that grocery stores were great places to meet single guys. I may have spent an hour or two in the frozen section that day, but it's still a chance meeting. I was about to leave when I saw the handsome Thad looking helpless. Turns out he was trying to find a pizza, and he likes the same brand as I do. If that isn't fate, what is?

Thad appealed to me right away with his handsome, boyish looks.  I mean sure it'd be nice if he were a little more rugged, but that's just me being picky. His sandy blonde hair is gorgeous, I wish he kept it longer so I could run my fingers through it. When we get serious after tonight, I'll mention that.

He's so fit, well, a little on the skinny side, and I wish he were just a tad taller so I could wear heels, but he's cute, he really is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway, and the closer we grow to someone, the more the attraction does, too.

I can feel it. This year will be my year. Thad has to be my happily ever after, he just has to be. After all I've been through, the timing of meeting him now so close to New Year's and my birthday. It's meant to be and finally! 

Time is lapsing and fast. I am far off course from my "where do see yourself plans." I was supposed to be on baby two and talking about needing a bigger home by now.

The big kiss tonight is all that's been on my mind all night, so much so I keep accidentally ramming into people as I try and make my way through this thick crowd. I'm meeting my best friends, Candice and Melanie at a bar right in the heart of it all, called Fifth Ave. We've all been close for almost eight years now, when we all started training at the call center Candice I still work at.

Since then, Candice has married but stayed at the company part-time, and Melanie moved on to work at a bank. I work hard, overtime, weekends, holidays, and more to prove myself. I am my boss Diane's, right hand. I help Diane with her extra workload, cover for her when she was running late, worked tons of overtime, and she is so happy with me. This year has to be the year I feel it.

I finally spot them hovering over a tall table. Candice is hard to miss; the tall, raven-haired woman is so pretty and always so well-styled, she demands the attention of any room she's in. Today is no different, she is dressed in a little black dress with tall boots, her hair down and wavy. Her handsome husband Byron is with her, dressed in black slacks and red button-down; he flashes me a pearly grin as I draw closer. They have a young toddler at home and don't get out often.

"Damn Riss," Melanie compliments with a glance at my outfit.

Melanie kept it casual in high-waisted skinny jeans and a cropped sweater, her blonde hair in a high ponytail and her makeup kept natural, not that she needs much, like Candice she's a stunner. 

I'm a pretty girl, but not a stunner, however I almost am with the right makeup and outfit, tonight is one of those nights.

I pulled out all the stops, after all, it's the start of my happily ever after. A shimmery silver dress seemed appropriate for such an occasion. It has thin spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline; the thin material clings to my small chest and is short, too, showing off a lot of leg. I am skinny and a little short, but my long legs are my best feature. I had to spend a few weeks getting a fake tan for this dress. I look a little unnatural with my tanned glow in the middle in a Minnesota winter, but it'll all be worth it when I look back at these pics with the grandkids someday.

I was also forced to wear stiletto heels; the dress called for them, and there wasn't anything I could do. It's going to make me taller than Thad, though, which is a huge bummer. But it's worth it. I look good, even if I am freezing. 

I went full glam on the makeup, smoky brown eyes, fake lashes, and deep red lips. I left my long chestnut hair down after spending a lot of time forcing it straight with a hair dryer that occasionally shocks me if I hold it the wrong way. It fell once and never quite recovered.

Thad had better appreciate me risking my life for him.

"Yeah? Thanks?" I shimmy and do a little round-a-bout to show it off further.

"You have got to be freezing, though," Candice points out. She motions to the server just as he's about to pass us by, and he stops.

"One more round and..." Candice motions to me to order.

"Martini, extra dirty, extra olives," I say.

In life, you have to envision what you want. I envision being rich, so I drink and eat like I am, well, when I'm out anyway. At home, it's boxed wine and ramen noodles. Someday though I will make my way to the top of my company and instead of living downtown Minneapolis with four-legged pesky unwanted roommates, I'll move uptown. Maybe to a penthouse or maybe to one of those huge old-school Victorian-style homes with iron gates. I'll throw my own New Year's Eve Parties then, maybe Thad and I will together. I can see us now greeting guests at the door. 

"It's worth a little discomfort," I say as I sit across them. "Tonight is the night."

"For what exactly?" Melanie asks.

"Two Thousand Twenty-Four?" Byron asks and I make a face at him.

"I assume this has something to do with Thad?" Candice nearly groans.

"It has everything to do with Thad!" I say enthusiastically as my eyes widen. "This is the guy. Don't you see it?"

"No," Melanie says with a cringe. "I don't. First of all, his name, Thad, really Riss?"

"Don't be superficial, Mel!" I accuse., "Anyway. He is the one so get used to it."

"You say that every time and he never is," Melanie argues.

"But this time is different, it's the timing," I say intently as I lean forward. "If you have a New Year's kiss at midnight with a new love, it's like magic. It means that the happily ever after is coming."

"What?" Candice snorts. "How?" 

"Here we go," Melanie says with a sigh. "Get ready for Clarissa explains it all."

The three of them all have a laugh at my expense as I glare darkly at them, I despise my full name for this exact reason.

"Hear me out!" I insist. "New Year's Eve, brand new love. You have that special kiss, and then your eyes lock, and you both know. After that, it's a month of cozy dates since it's so cold outside, and then Valentine's Day, the first weekend away. That is what really cements it. Then it'll be summer before you even know it, and it may seem soon, but what do they know?"

"Who is they?" Byron asks, "Are we the they?"

"It's all so perfect," I continue ignoring him. "We move in together, just in time to start the holiday season. I don't know if he'd propose on Christmas or wait until New Year's Eve since it would be the date it all started, but either way... it's the –"

"Girl!" Melanie stops me. "You cannot be serious."

"If we are the they I definitely have some thoughts," Byron says, and Candice shushes him.

"Rissa even for you this sounds nuts," Candice says.

"I get that it does, and It may not happen exactly like that, but..." I trail off.

"You hardly even know him and have your future all planned?" Candice asks.

"Just the next year, but... it's true look it up! Tons of new couples get married after a New Year's Eve kiss!"

"I'm sure there are but you and Thad aren't even a couple," Melanie says. She looks grateful when the server brings our drunks.

"I'll need one more right away," I say before taking a large sip of the dry chilled drink.

"We have been dating for a month, and I know it doesn't seem long but over the holidays that is," I say as I wave my martini glass around while I talk. "He even brought me to a family holiday party."

"You only went on a few dates, and wasn't that a holiday work party?"Melanie asks.

"His brother works there as well so it was both," I defend before sipping more vodka, faster than I should but whatever. 

"Wait that was the fake date!" Melanie calls out.

"Not fake," I mutter.

"Yeah, it was, you met at the grocery store, and he told you he was getting a pizza because he had to go to a work party that night and always hated the food. Then ... didn't you suggest he bring someone for an excuse to leave early?" Candice recalls.

"Well yeah, but it was still a real date," I scoff. "Besides, this is romance movie stuff."

"Not when you set it all up," Byron points out.

"It was a meet-cute and then a fake date! We are like made for TV!"

"You sat in the frozen section for hours scoping out guys, it's a little stalkerish on your part," Melanie adds, and now all three of them are laughing at me, again! 

"Poke fun all you want. I am telling you all he is the guy. He even told me he's ready to settle down."

"He did?" Candice looks surprised as if a guy wouldn't want to settle down with me.

He mentioned he had been engaged once and that it was hard to move on from, so it wasn't those exact words, but that was basically Thad's way of telling me he's ready for marriage. 

Guys like playing it cool and all, we have to read between the lines. 

"Where is Thad anyway?" Candice asks. "Should we make our way to the bar he's at? With these crowds, he might be hard to find."

"Yes, we should get looking," I agree. "Let's start bar hopping as soon as he comes back with my drink."

"Bar hopping? You don't know where he is?" Candice asks. 

"He said he'd be downtown with friends tonight," I explain.

"Did he even ask you if you want to meet up?" Melanie asks.

"Oh, Thad is always trying to play it cool," I say with a little giggle.

"Riss, I don't think that's what's happening..." Byron says carefully.

"This idea in your head is snowballing and I'm worried," Candice agrees. 

"Yeah..." Melanie chimes in. 

Traitors all of 'em. 

"Stop with all the negative talk. You'll see after tonight, it'll all happen."

"No, one of us will be nursing your broken heart in the morning when this all goes wrong," Melanie says with a sigh.

***

Forget them, I don't need their negativity, so I decide to look for Thad all on my own. It's freaking freezing downtown, though, why did I decide a jacket would ruin my dress? I shake like a leaf as I nearly run down the sidewalk, which is heavy with people walking and lining up to get into the bars. There is a fresh layer of snow coating the sidewalk making it slippery, but I cannot slow down now!

I accidentally barrel into a group of girls who whine and grumble, but I ignore them, I am on a mission.

We went to Mallards on our second date to meet up with a bunch of his buddies and watch the Vikings Game. Another good sign, he wanted his friends to meet me right away! Granted they were all already there when I texted him that day, but still. 

I'm hoping I will find him there again and hustle my way in, it's as crowded as the rest of the bars and the line is nearly a half hour, it's growing closer to midnight, and I am starting to worry.

Finally, I make it to the door and have to pay a stupid eight-dollar cover charge, which will only leave me with enough money for one more martini, but I'm in, I am finally in.

If all goes well Thad will be carrying me out of here tonight to kiss me breathlessly under the stars and it won't matter.

Mallards is three floors, full of people whooping, yelling, dancing, and spilling drinks everywhere. I push and duck my way through the thick gourds of people, then finally on the second floor, I see him. Well, the back of his head, anyway. He's standing amongst a group of people, a few I recognize from our date here.

There is a short redhead standing close to him, a sister maybe? I already met a brother, so why not a sister, too? Fate, it all feels so fated.

"Hey Thad!" I flash a big warm grin as I draw closer, and Thad's eyes are full of a certain panic as he takes a small step back.

"Rissa... hey, I uh didn't think we run into each other," he says awkwardly, the redhead steps closer and narrows her eyes at us,

"Rissa, the grocery store girl?" Redhead asks with a strange laugh. 

"You nicknamed me after our meet-cute spot?" I blurt out, my cheeks flushing as I giggle.

Thad pales and his friends all start laughing. The redhead girl steps a little closer putting a hand on his arm.

Shit. Just what I need, a cock-blocking sister, how do I handle this without offending her?

"I'm Rissa, " I offer with what I hope is a friendly smile. "You must be Thad's sister? What are you drinking, I got your next one."

"His what?" She looks at Thad angrily. "You told her I was your sister!?"

'Wha– no, I have no idea why she," Thad looks confused as he looks from me to her. "Uh Rissa, this is Erica, my fiancé."

His what!? I take a step back as I shake my head.

"You said you broke off your engagement," I whisper.

"I said we were on a break, and I wasn't over it, remember?" he said, "I was asking for advice."

"On a date?" I ask feeling myself growing angry. "Why would you be asking advice on a date with me!"

"A date?" He shakes his head. "You came to have a drink with me and my friends, it was a whole group of us talking." 

I mean I guess but it sure felt like a date, we hugged when he walked me to my car and he said was all grateful that I listened...

Oh. 

"But the work party...That was--"

"Your idea and also not a date," he says.

"The dinner..." I nearly scream the words out. 

"That was a date," he agrees to my relief. "You kept texting, and I thought why not just have a dinner and see what it is. But we didn't really hit it off, you spent the whole night telling me about all your exes."

"I... but..." we clicked, right?

"It made me realize how much I still missed mine, so we're talking," he puts his arm around Erica. "I thought you caught the hint when I stopped calling you back, I'm sorry, Rissa." 

But the nickname... and the timing and my big New Year's Eve moment. I feel my eyes starting to well up with tears.

"I uh... I should go," I mumble as I turn away before he can see I'm crying. "Happy New Year."

As I stumble away the sound of laughter from Thad and his friend fill my ears. "So that's the crazy grocery girl!" I hear the fiancé say, giggling louder than the rest. 

My cheeks flame up with humiliation as I hurriedly push past the crowd back to the first level. A glance at the clock on the wall shows it's close just a minute to midnight. Not that it matters now.

I'll probably never get my New Year's moment now or ever. It's time to start collecting cats and plants, Whatever I can do to avoid men. I am tired of feeling crushed every time I get my hopes up.

Fate is so cruel, as cruel as the winter air that encircles me as I stumble outside with teary eyes and my last broken heart of the year.