My phone chimes with a video message and I click play and Rissa fills the screen.

She's holding a very purple and generous bouquet she got herself as she dances around the frame.

I start laughing as she gets all extra, freezing the frame for a moment and zooming in to catch a closer glimpse of her face. Her smile is so genuine, and her eyes are nearly sparkling with excitement.

She's already doing it—finding ways to make herself happy. This is why she's the perfect subject for this. Rissa puts her whole heart into everything she does, and I couldn't ask for more in a muse.

I can't help but click play one more time before I reply, Perfect, with a laughing emoji.

I'm still chuckling lightly.

I guess we can add flower arranger to my good qualities, she replies.

My laughter dies at her response... I didn't mean for her to think that she's got some laundry list of good and bad qualities. I simply wanted her to stop hiding things she doesn't like behind delusions.

She's beautiful, funny, and unafraid to be herself, even if that's silly, and none of those are bad things.

You are perfect, and—I start to type and then erase that. What am I doing!? The point is for her to recognize her flaws and grow. I'm here to guide her, not hype her up.

Yet... I still can't help but want to boost her confidence...

How about three? Flower arranger, dancer, and lover of life....No. I hit erase again.

Cute Rissa, enjoy the flowers. Is what I finally opt on. 

My laptop screen fills with Emma's image as I see out meeting is about to start in ten minutes, she holds up her phone indicating she is making a quick call and a I nod. My phone chimes again, and I smile. I wonder if it could be Rissa. 

I glance down to see not Rissa replying again but a new text from Cami that simply says,hey.

Hi... I send back with a concerned frown.Is everything okay?

Does something have to be wrong to text you?She replies in an instant,and I can hear her snark through the phone.

Well, no... but you never do.

Nothing is wrong. I have a question.

What?

Did you have a date this weekend? I saw you liked some post you got tagged in.

You're stalking my social media?

No, Mom is, and we have a bet going, so???

No date, Cami.

Knew it! Ha!

I scowl and shake my head as I set my phone aside.

"Come on, fess up; who are you texting," Emma says from the laptop as she sets her phone down. 

"My sister," I say as I look back into the screen.

"Right," Emma drawls out the word, "then why did you have that goofy smile on your face?"

"I didn't!"

"Well, not now, but when I first logged on, you did," she says.

"It was my sister, see, Cami Fields," I shove the phone at the screen and she leans in.

"You have your sister's full name on your phone as a contact name?" Emma scoffs, and then a smirk pulls at her lips. "It looks like she's asking you about your date this weekend!"

"I didn't have a date —"

"Conner had a date?" Brenda's face pops up on the screen at that exact moment.

"It wasn't a date," I say.

"Then why were you blushing?" Emma asks.

"He was blushing? Must've been some date!" Branda giggles.

"What date?" Johnathan, my publisher's screen flashes on next. Great. The last thing I need is for Johnathan to think I'm not focused. He's annoyed enough that it's taken this long for an idea.

It was a fluke getting signed by this publishing company, a rare pipe dream that I did not expect. Serena convinced me to have someone look at it, just a glance. She said she knew someone at this company who would give free advice and maybe help guide us.

Free was all we could afford, so we went for it. The last thing we expected was to get signed with them that week!

Johnathan is the main publisher and in charge, but Brenda works alongside him and the other departments, too. She's kind of like the liaison who brings everyone together.

Emma is the head of marketing and social media and loves to yell at me about how boring my online presence is. Rissa will love her.

Meetings for me typically are with these three, but sometimes someone else gets pulled in too.

This time, I'll have the team as I write the book, which is... good and bad. They'll help shape it, but ... they'll want to help shape it. It can be hard to take advice from other people about my writing.

"A date, hmm? Is this why we still don't even have a concept for book two?" Johnathan asks.

"I'd bet so!" Emma snickers.

"Everyone stop. The photo I was tagged in was...not what it looks like. I wasn't there with her."

"What? Like a virtual date or?"

"No date," I groan. "I mean- well, it was a date, but not with me."

"Huh?" Brenda looks confused.

"Hear me out. I'm not sure you're all going to like this," I begin.

***

They are all silent after I explain the idea for a long time and I start getting pensive, I knew they wouldn't---

"I like it," Emma declares.

"Me too," Brenda agrees. "Someone who tried the first book and failed, there's something very appealing about that. It's humbling to admit maybe the first book didn't work for everyone."

"I'm not sold yet," Jonathan says slowly, but he didn't outright shoot it down, and that's a good sign. "Dating yourself. Is that even sexy?"

"It's actually really sexy," Emma cuts in. "It's mysterious because no one will know who she is, but she's real. They will know she was out on these solo dates in the city all year. People will wonder if they saw her, especially locals. But the curiosity about who she is will stretch beyond that."

Jonathan tilts his head at that. "I like the sound of that. I don't like waiting a year for you to start writing the book, though."

"I told Rissa the same thing I'll tell you all. This is an experiment. If she's ready before the year, we'll pivot," I explain. "I'll be writing it as we go, and it won't take me long to put the book together when the dating part of it's over."

"What happens if she gets — you know, horny," Emma asks, and I nearly almost choke on my coffee.

"Well, it's a fair question!"

"I'm sure she's fully capable of handling that herself," I stammer as my cheeks burn red. Hopefully, it's not super obvious on the screen.

"I'm going to trust you on this one, Conner, but keep us updated," Johnathan says to my relief.

"I want to start marketing the book now. That post she tagged you in this weekend gave me a great idea," Emma says.

"Now before it's written?' I question.

"Yes, I want to build some mystery by having her continue to tag you on these date posts but never pictures with her in it, just pictures of where she's at, no explanation, no caption. You will then save all of these to your highlight reel with a question mark as the name."

"I don't get it?" I question.

"Keep going, Emma," Johnathan directs.

"Eagle-eyed readers will know it means something, but they won't know what; it'll slowly but surely build interest. I need her to set up a separate anonymous handle, though. I'll need a meeting with her," Emma says.

"I'll set it up," I agree.

"Hmm, "Jonathan's face lights up. "That could work for marketing, but they might just think he's dating someone."

"Let 'em think whatever they want. We won't clear anything up until the book is underway," Emma says. "Imagine this! It's an opportunity to build momentum for a book that hasn't even been written yet!"

"So when it finally is, they'll be desperate to get their hands on it," Brenda says, and Johnathan is nodding eagerly.

"They'll wonder if they'll ever get to know who the solo dater is," Emma agrees. "We can constantly tease her identity in interviews Conner gives but never actually reveal it."

"I like it more and more," Johnathan says.

"Same," Brenda agrees.

"You do? You're all on board?" I ask.

"Let's do this," Johnathan agrees. "We'll meet again in a few weeks to see how things are going."

"Sounds good."

"One more thing," Emma says. "Where are you two meeting to discuss the dates? Once people start wondering what you're doing, she can't very well go to your apartment."

"I'm not famous the book is, and that's fading fast," I remind her.

"It doesn't matter once people start suspecting something. They'll be watching your place," Brenda says. "We'll rent an office or studio apartment outside the city."

"Always meet there, never pick her up," Emma says.

"She'll also need to sign some legal forms, a confidentiality form, and an agreement to stay single throughout this experiment," Brenda says. "I'll have legal draw those up right away."

"Legal forms, is that necessary?" Rissa might freak out over something like that...

"Yes, it is extremely necessary," Johnathan says. "We have to protect our investment and that's you, Conner, and you say you need her, so we need to legalize it."

"But Serena never had to sign legal forms—"

"Yes, she did," Johnathan cuts me off. "You have no idea how much damage control we had to do when you all broke up."

"She happily took a fat paycheck to leave her name off the cover," I mutter.

But that wasn't the reason. Serena knew leaving her name on the cover would show the world what a hypocrite she was. Not to mention what a fool I was. She was paid and is still being paid as much as a co-writer would be. That's all that matters to her.

"All I'm saying is we don't need history repeating. A signed contract will make us all feel better," Johnathan says.

"History repeating? I'm not dating Rissa. She's my muse."

"Keep it that way," Emma says, and I scoff at the implication.

"I mean it, Conner! You laugh now, but — take my warning seriously. Do not catch feelings for your subject."

"Doing so would ruin everything, and then you'd both be in breach of contract," Johnathan adds in a warning tone.

"That's the last thing any of you have to worry about," I assure them. "Are we done here?"

"We're done. I'll email you the papers by tomorrow," Brenda agrees.

I close the laptop quickly with a sigh of relief to have that over.

Truthfully, they are right to worry about the muse I chose. If anyone could screw this whole thing up, it's Rissa. She's a beautiful woman; the red-lipped selfie on my phone certainly tells me that. The only reason she doesn't have a full social calendar is the desperate vibes she puts off. As she accepts this and her confidence grows, she will get hit on by lots of men when she's out-dating herself.

What happens when she suddenly realizes what a catch she is? She's a serial dater and has been for a long time. Will she be able to turn men down?

Day one I may have said she is a terrible choice to do this with, but there's more to her. So much more, and this obsession with marriage... it isn't even about marriage. It's about her thinking marriage will fix everything, and it won't.

She's deeply insecure and hides it behind this bravado of positivity. She takes the saying, fake it till you make it, to a level of delusion I've never seen.

She couldn't hide it last night as we talked and as she finally looked inside. I could see her holding back tears at one point. She needs this as badly as I need a subject for the book, if not more. So I'm going to have to trust her.

"I do trust her," I say as my gaze drifts to those ridiculous teddy bears. "I believe in her."

I need her to trust me, too, which means I will need to meet with her in person about all this legal stuff and make sure she understands it's just the publishing company and she'll be okay. I hope it doesn't cause her to back out.

I glance at my text chain with Rissa scrolling up to that red-lipped selfie she sent me on her first date. 

"Don't catch feelings for your subject for your subject," Emma's words ring in my ears.

"That's not even–" My gaze drifts over to the ridiculous Diva bear perched on my island like it belongs there. "Possible."

Is it?