"You're losing me" - Taylor Swift

The door to their chambers slammed shut. And Alyarra turned her knees towards the wall, her tears flowing freely down her face like a cascade. She braced herself for Aemond's words. She knew she had made a huge mistake.

"Just what the fuck were you thinking?" She flinched, because he had never screamed at her like that. She remained quiet, her fingers tearing off the skin around her cuticles fiercely as she sobbed quietly.

"Answer me! What in the hells were you thinking? You were going to leave me?!" Alyarra sniffed, turning to look at Aemond who was glaring at her with fire in his eye. Her eyes were bloodshot red due to all her crying; and she felt that she might die any moment now. She could barely think straight.

"No! I just wanted to protect Baelon!" She cried, making Aemond scoff. "Protect Baelon?! By taking him from his father?! I am the only one that can protect him! That can protect you!" Aemond said ragefully, his voice low and intense as his one eye bore into Alyarra angrily.

"I thought it would be better to take him away from the war! For his safety. What you did to Lucerys... it makes me fear they'll come for him!" Alyarra rambled as she tried explaining her point of view.

"Nobody will ever lay a hand on my son! Not as long as I live! Who was going to protect him if you took him away? Hmm?" Aemond asked, his tone was rather taunting as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Alyarra looked at her lap and swallowed hard before Aemond spoke again. "Your brother? The Lord Stark? The same brother who left you to fend for yourself in the start of a war without a warning? Who else is going to protect you and Baelon? His men? The men who couldn't even keep rapists away from your rooms in the Great Keep?" Aemond laughed cynically.

"Stop." Alyarra stated fiercely, getting angry at him bashing her brother. "Stop?! I should stop?! After what you've done?! You were scheming to leave me behind and take my son!" Aemond stalked to her, his finger pointing at her in an accusatory manner.

"I was going to tell you! I just wanted my son to be safe! Stop!" She pleaded and turned away from him, but he aggressively grabbed her shoulder, flipping her back around to face him.

"Your son is mine too! He is safe here with me! Nobody in this world cares more about his safety than I do! Nobody will ever keep Baelon as safe as I can!" He shouted in her face. Alyarra's nostrils flared at his treatment of her.

"We are sitting here waiting for a war to break out! How is this fine?!" She asked frantically, almost wanting to pull her hair out from her head. He was not even trying to understand her.

"Just fucking stop, Alyarra! You and Baelon are safe here! Stop trying to make yourself the center of the war! You are no one's priority." Her mouth gaped open and then closed.

"You are a fucking asshole." She breathed out, her tears commencing once more. Did she deserve this? All she wanted was her son to be safe.

"Hm, am I now? I am an asshole for being angry that my wife was scheming behind my back? Am I an asshole for wanting a good fucking wife that will stand by my side unconditionally?" And with that... Aemond had dealt the final blow.

She glared at him with a storm brewing in her eyes, the anger inside of her bubbling like she was sure it had never built before. "How dare you?" Her voice was a defeated whisper.

"How do you fucking dare?!" She asked him and he simply stared back at her with pursed lips, awaiting for her. "Daring." He challenged her.

"Aemond... do you not remember how we married? How you forced me into this marriage? And I stood by you even though I didn't want it?! Do you remember how you told my brother that I was no longer pure and still I stuck around for you!?" She pushed him away from her angrily.

"Do you not remember how you threatened my brother and still I stood by your side?! When I should have stood by his?! Do you?" She asked him angrily, hoping to knock some sense into him.

He simply stared at her, though his face softened just a tiny bit as he listened to her.

"Let us not go that far back, husband. You told me to crawl inside your half-sister's cunt because I was nice to her! And yet I took it. And then... then you started fucking me like I was some whore from the streets, whilst I was recovering from childbirth! And I stuck it through." Alyarra could not stop her ramblings, and Aemond's deafening silence made her rage even more.

He stayed silent because he had no idea what he could possibly say.

"Do you think I want to look like I have been beaten by my husband?! No! Yet I see it through because I am your good wife. Fucking hells, Aemond! I have done everything for you! I bend to your will every single day! I bend my morals, my body, my soul, and my heart just for you! Because I fucking love you! And you dare stand there acting like you are a perfect husband!" She cried angrily.

Aemond swallowed hard, and he could feel the teats threatening to spill from his eyes, but he did his best to blink them away. "You killed a child, and even then I still held you, even though I felt like I was going to throw up at your actions... even then I stood by you." She turned from him, facing the fireplace of their marital chambers.

"I have given you my best selves, and my endless empathy. I have prayed for you to give me your pain, to carry it myself because I love you! And all you do is stand there, looking at me like that. Can't you see, Aemond? This is killing me. After last night... I thought maybe we weren't too far gone, maybe we could be fixed but you, you come in here acting as if I haven't been your best soldier all this time." Alyarra's knees gave out, the load being lifted off her shoulders, and  releasing the words she wanted to say all along made her plummet to the ground.

"All I wanted was for Baelon to be safe, to be tucked away from the war that you started..." She whispered as she cried into her hands.

"You never said anything." His voice was solemn, and a croak.

"Did I really have to tell my husband what was so blatantly obvious? How can you say you love me, when you didn't even realize I am dying at your hands." She asked and then footsteps away from her and out the door. The door was slammed shut so hard that Alyarra thought it might have been broken.

Her hands trembled in rage and in helplessness. Her husband had turned his back on her, and now she sat there alone whilst her best friend was being accused of treason.

The one person who so effortlessly lifted Alyarra up every day was in a cell of the Red Keep, and she could do nothing but beg the King to spare her. Alyarra screamed in agony as she cried, her heart physically hurt. She was so angry and so hurt. She stood up hastily as she cried, wanting to destroy something.

She rushed to Aemond's desk and grabbed the small vase that contained his quills, hurling it towards the door. Then a goblet, then a candelabra. Any thing that Alyarra could lift was hurled about their marital chambers in pure rage.

The door swung open and in came Ser Benjamin just as she was about to flip a chair over. His eyes widened in shock as he rushed to his crying lady. "Lady Alyarra, what's wrong?" He asked, his tone showing clear concern. Concern that her husband did not care to show her.

She turned to him, and her body went numb. Benjamin was there to catch there. He caught her in his strong arms and held her close to his body in an attempt to soothe her. "My lady..." He whispered as he caressed her back whilst she cried into his shoulder.

She melted into the ground slowly, all whilst Benjamin held her. He kneeled besides her as she buried her face in his neck. She knew this wasn't right, for another man to hold her like this. But she had no one. Her husband left her in her turmoil, and her best friend was being charged for treason.

"It will be all right, my lady. I swear it." Benjamin whispered as he held on to her as tightly as he could. He did not wish to see his lady like this, so wounded and broken.

Benjamin knew that Alyarra Stark was a good woman. That she was kind and sweet, so why would her husband cause her so much pain? What kind of blind man would cause such a precious woman so much hurt? Maybe a one eyed man.

"No..." She whimpered into Benjamin's chest. Everything had gone awry, how did things go so wrong? When did things go so wrong?

Benjamin held her towards his chest, and never once dreamed of letting Alyarra go.

And she held unto him so tightly, that she almost inprinted the edges of his armor into her arms. She didn't care, she just needed somebody.

Benjamin wasn't quite sure what came over him, but he brought his lips to the top of her head and planted a soft kiss on it, resting his chin on the top of it. Alyarra did not say anything, nor did she contest it.

Affection in this state was welcome  for her, even if from somebody who was not meant to be this close to her.

-

Alyarra cried for hours on end, praying for repentance and for the saving of Catherryn's soul. The lady asked the King for a hearing on the very next day, and hopefully Alyarra could convince Aegon to pardon Catherryn.

Though her words were clear, she had called the King an usurper, to his face and in front of the court.

Catherryn had always been a fiery one, but she took Alyarra off guard by not backing down in front of the King.

The Stark lady could not help but feel an intense sense of guilt washing over her body as she stared at herself in the looking glass. She had asked Catherryn to write to her brother, and then to her father. Twas only an order that her lady-in-waiting fulfilled and now she sat in a cell of the Keep, prisoner for helping her master.

It should be Alyarra there, not Catherryn. But she knew Aemond would never allow her to take any guilt. He had protected her from the council, even if he was furious at her.

Alyarra brushed her hair and pinned it to the back of her hair. Then she exited her empty chambers, for Aemond had left them and not come back yet. The sun had already set over the capital, and Aemond was nowhere to be seen. Was he that angry with her? Where could he be?

It did not matter to her now. She headed to Baelon's nursery and grabbed him, alongside Benjamin. She asked to be escorted to the Dowager Queen's chambers, for she knew Helaena would be there. And hopefully Alyarra could potentially convince the Dowager Queen that Catherryn and herself were innocent of any treason.

"He sure is a good sport, is he not?" Benjamin asked as he walked alongside Alyarra, a smile toying at his lips as he looked at the babe that Alyarra held.

For the first time in that day, she smiled as she looked at her son. "He is the best baby. Look at him, my cutest boy." She smiled as she tañked to her baby. The babe babbled and clapped his hands, which made Alyarra beam.

"Ben! He's clapping! Look at him!" She stopped her walking as the knight leaned in to smile at the baby. He tickled him in the tummy as Baelon looked up at the knight with wide eyes.

"How adorable." Ben mused, his gaze returning to his lady who was staring lovingly at the baby in her arms. His lips tugged up in a small smile as he looked at Alyarra, which made her chuckle when she gazed up at him.

"What?" She asked with a thin lipped smile.

"I've yet to see you smile for a few days, my lady. It is a welcome sight for my eyes." Ben replied, and Alyarra couldn't help the smile that formed within her face at his words. Her eyes ran over his face and then she sighed, looking away from Ben. "Let us go." She stated as they continued walking to the Queen's chambers.

When they reached the tower, Alyarra ordered for Benjamin to stay in the bottom steps and then she went up the tower steps alone with her babe in arms. She hummed a tune to her son as she reached the door. A small frown happened upon her face as she noticed that Helaena's guard was not outside the door but she brushed it off.

She grabbed the metal handle to the door and for a moment, for some reason, she hesitated to open it. She swallowed and took a deep breath, because she knew she had to speak to the Queen Alicent. When Alyarra opened the door to Alicent's chambers, she froze in place at the scene in front of her.

Red was splattered across the floor, a headless child body laying on top of it whilst Helaena sobbed hysterically whilst holding on to it. Alyarra felt her breath going out of her body when she noticed the huge man that towered over Helaena, holding Jaehaerys' head in his hands with a wicked grin.

"BE-" Her scream was muffled when another man, a fairly smaller one, grabbed her aggressively and put his dirty hand over her mouth. Alyarra muffled pleas for help went unheard as she writhed in the man's grasp. She held Baelon tight in her arms, tears now spilling from her face when her eyes saw little Jaehaera and Maelor cowering in a corner together.

Her eyes scanned the room, visiting the corpse of Helaena's guard in a corner, and then spotting Queen Alicent crying into a rag that had been bound around her head and into her mouth. Alyarra squirmed as the man holding Jaehaerys' head laughed at her attempts.

"Look it seems we might just be paid double, eh! The kinslayer's whore and his baby!" The man cheered as the man twirled Alyarra around, holding her close to his body and pulling a blade to Baelon. She shook her head frantically, trying to scream for Benjamin but to no avail. The man held her steady.

"She's a dirty whore... I've seen her about the Keep... Maybe we should have some fun too... Make that kinslayer really suffer. Murder his little babe and ruin his little wife." The man brought his face to her neck, smelling her and sighing. Alyarra felt her body becoming numb at their words.

Her gaze stayed on Alicent, trying to find solace in her mother in law. Alyarra tightened her hrip on her son, whose crying now filled the chambers. "Shut that damned baby up, Cheese!" The large man growled as he stuffed the head of Jaehaerys into a sack.

"No, no, no..." Helaena cried, and then she let out a scream so loud that Alyarra was sure Benjamin would come bursting through the door at any second now.

"Shut up, you whore!" Blood kicked Helaena in her stomach and then his eyes widened when shouts were heard from outside the doors. Benjamin.

A muffled "I heard a scream!" was heard coming up the stairs and just like that, the man holding Alyarra released her and kicked her to the ground. She crawled into a ball and rocked Baelon as he cried into her chest, her own tears not once ceasing. The men scurried off into Alicent's bedchamber just when Benjamin burst through the door, his eyes widening at the scene in front of him.

After him came more guards of the castle entered the chambers. One. Two. Three. Four. Alyarra weeped as she held Baelon for dear life, and Benjamin had kneeled besides her. Alyarra pointed to Alicent's bedchamber. "They went in there!" She wallowed as Benjamin and the other guards took off running into the Queen's bedchamber, but it was empty.

The guards hastily exited the chambers, planning to capture the assasins. More guards entered, freeing the Dowager Queen and others trying to keep Helaena from the headless body of her son. Alicent rushed to her grandchildren, taking Jaehaera and Maelor in her arms as they cried.

Benjamin kneeled besides Alyarra and hugged her to his body, even if it was improper. "Is Baelon well?" He asked, trying to get a look at the babe whom was hysterically crying.

The first royal family member to arrive was Aegon, who looked frazzled and then simply horrified when he entered his mother's parlor. He rushed to his sister, his eyes widening in shock at the sight of his child.

"How could this happen?!" Aegon asked frantically standing up and looking around the room. His eyes ran wildly over everyone, and he swallowed when he saw his other two children crying in his mother's arms.

"T-They came in and murdered my bedmaid... then... then they slew Helaena's guards... They were going to kill Baelon too." For the first time ever, Alyarra had seen Alicent hysterically crying as she explained the happenings.

"A son for a son they said. They were sent! To punish us for Aemond's crime!" Alicent cried as she held her grandbabies to her chest.

The next one in was Otto Hightower, and he rushed to Helaena, kneeling down besides her as Aegon cursed and thrashed his mother's room in a deep rage. "Oh Gods! Gods! What is this?!" Otto asked in a frantic manner as he hugged his granddaughter tightly to his chest. Helaena cried and screamed, the sounds echoing the halls of the Red Keep.

Then Alyarra looked up slowly to the door, at the figure of her husband standing there with an stoic expression on his face, next to him was Criston Cole. The kingsguard started giving out orders as Aemond simply stared at his wife as she craddled their crying son in her arms as tight as she could.

His gaze remained on her protector, watching as he whispered into her ear trying to calm her down. Alyarra stared at Aemond, almost willing him to come to them. He was her husband, Baelon's father, the one that should have protected them. That was what he claimed.

Aemond kneeled besides Alyarra, giving one hard glare to Benjamin. The knight got the message and gulped, standing up and leaning away from the lady. Aemond looked at his crying son, a deep rage burning within him. And guilt, so much guilt.

"Is he hurt? What happened?" Aemond's voice was a low whisper as he looked at his crying wife. She was so angry at him, because this was his fault, but still she leaned into him. She cried into his chest as Aemond held her, looking around the room with a solemn expression on his face.

"They were going to kill him... they were going to rape me. They wanted his head, my baby's head." She cried into Aemond's chest and his one eye remained on his sister who was still gripping the headless body of Jaehaerys. That could have been Baelon. Aemond thought. Baelon was probably who they came for, because he was the son of the man that killed Lucerys.

Alyarra was right. They came for their son and he couldn't protect them. He wasn't here, he was someplace else.

His worst fear was hurting his wife. And that was all he ever did in their marriage.

He had turned into his worst fear.