I know, I shouldn't be here. I have no rights to do this, but I can't help myself. Day by day, the guilt is getting heavier. I need to see her, talk to her, touch her.

"Dahyun, where are you taking me and why are we here?"

I hear her distant voice, making my heart do summersaults. I don't know if I deserve to be happy at the sight of her, but here I am, waiting for the girl, who was supposed to be my wife, long time ago.
It is then, she sees me from a far and stops talking to Dahyun, our eyes meet and for the first time, I see the bitterness in them, meant for me and it breaks my heart, but I need to stand tall and own it. The fresh air in the balcony hits me, I shiver not at the atmosphere but her stare, that almost too cold but almost too heart breaking look she's piercing me with. I am afraid, she'll walk away, she has all rights to. But it scares me, still.
She doesn't move, she's just looking at me with bitterness and for a moment, I think, I saw her eyes brimming of my injustice towards her, but she closes her eyes in an instant. Taking a deep breath, she makes steps towards me. And to my own surprise, it scares me even more. Now, I regret asking Dahyun for this. I look at Dahyun at the back, she signals me a 'good luck' and goes out.
When my eyes meet her figure yet again, I realize, she is now standing beside me, not looking at me but at the view, in front of us. The sky's too grey as if portraying our fate.
I dare not say a word, as if my own tongue is betraying me. I have a lot to say, ask and offer, yet it doesn't make it to my cords.
She makes the first move, breaking the ice, her voice sounding hoarse,
"Why am I here?"

Her eyes still not on me.

"Ah... Hi..."
Wow, Hoseok good to go. Very well done, I internally scold myself.

She scoffs softly,
"Took you this long to utter two words."

I purse my lips together, questioning my decision yet again; what do I say now?

"If I am here to enjoy this silence, I'd better do this at home."

"No.. wait.. Hanna.."

"My name seems so foreign coming out of you. Didn't know, I had to see this day too."

"I-I I'm sorry. I... have been a big co-coward... Hanna, I..."

"Now, that's a very gentle word, try again."

"I-I have been a scaredy cat, a fool, a hypocrite, a rascal, a bastard, all of the things Hanna... all of the bad things, no, the worst... all of the ones you can ever think of, I... I have been all-all of th-those..."
As I finish, I feel my cheeks wet, my eyes giving out too. I purse my lips together, to not sob like the man, I failed to be. I wipe my tears away but they don't stop. What's making me cry more is that she's not replying me or even sparing me a glance. I know, I'm expecting too much, because this is what I have done to her.

After a few seconds, she speaks again,
"So, I'm here for a show?"

"Hanna... I genuinely am sorry, I can't apologize enough..."

"Yes, you can't. You never can. So, why am I here again?"
Her voice raises a little, radiating her anger, yet she never looks at me or my vulnerability.

"Hanna... pl-please listen to me... please... I..."

"Hoseok, this should be the last time, we're seeing each other. From today, we have our own paths. And I don't know anyone with the name, Hoseok likewise, you don't know anyone, of the name, Hanna..."

"Hanna... please... no..."

"If you are really sorry, do this for me."
With that last unspoken goodbye, she starts moving towards the door, never looking at me, my tears keep flowing on their own.
I kneel down, breaking down completely, I can't tell, if it was my mind playing games on me, it feels like I heard her distant voice,
"Take care, Hoseok-ah."

But I wish it was real, and in this moment, I want to believe it is. And now, that she is out of my sight, I cry, I sob like the man, I could never be. Carrying this grief, in my heart for as long as I live, that I couldn't provide comfort, to the love of my life, that I couldn't be there for her, when I should've been. That, the one person, I wanted the most in my life, slipped through my fingers and I couldn't do, as much to close my own hand and hold on, not tight, but just hold on; yet I just couldn't.

♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔

I don't ask much, nor does she say something. But all I hear, is her low sobbing, through out the ride to home. My heart clenches at her little voices, that she was trying too hard to muffle from her hands, making me guilty too. But I knew, this was needed, a much needed end to this chapter too, it had to occur, one day or the other. And as a little sister, this is all I could do. Because I've learned, sometimes, you have to introduce exposure to the wound, for it to start healing.