I sit on the bed as I cry uncontrollably. What just happened? What did I just do? I lie down on the bed as thoughts race through my mind. I don't even bother to change into my pyjamas before I pull the red comforters over my shivering body. I keep thinking about the shocked and hurt expression on Richard's face.

That's all I can ever do...hurt people. I'm good for nothing. I pull at my hair strands trying to punish myself for what I just did. I had promised mom that I would behave, and this would just make them more curious.
I don't know when I fell into a restless sleep.

I remain in the old store room as I stare at the hanging cobwebs. I no longer feel pain as my finger is now numb. I wipe my tears on my bloody shirt waiting patiently for Jameel as he promised that he would be back soon. I occupy myself by counting the number of cobwebs I find...which are countless.

Suddenly, I hear a loud bang!! My heart races and I rush to the heavy door. After struggling for a while, I manage to open the door slightly. I rush to our room and see dad lying flat on the floor. There are three men with heavy metal guns in their big, hairy hands who suddenly turn around to face me. I stare at my groaning father, who lies amongst a pool of scarlet. My body shivers with fear. Mom sits helplessly on the floor behind me. Her face blank, with a line of blood splatters that run accross her face. Dad stares at me and manages to force a smile at me through his pain. I smile back as his smile, calms my racing heart.

I spot Jameel behind the far end cupboard and he motions for me to be quiet, by placing his fingers on his lips. He points to the floor on my right. I squint to where he points and spot a heart pendant lying on the floor.

Suddenly, I feel a hard, cold object at the back of my neck. I gulp when I notice the horrified expression on Jameel and dad's faces. I realise that one of the men had placed a gun behind me.

"I'm asking you for the last time...khan... Where is the chip??", the man asks dad. Dad looks at me as tears spill from his eyes. He gulps and turns to the man. "How many times do I have to tell you...I DONT KNOW!!!"

I stare a the blood stained tiles as the cold gun is pressed harder against me. "Don't look there Amy", dad's soothing voice coos. And the loud bang of a gunshot pierces through my ear.

The man had shot dad. I screech!!!! Mom screams as well and Jameel who remains hidden behind the closet falls to the floor in shock. The men reach for the can of kerosene and pour it on the tiles, on the furniture and all over the house. Mom and I rush to the limp body of dad. "Adam!!!", Mom cries.

I don't believe what just happened. I look towards the closet behind which Jameel was hiding, but Jameel is no longer there. Where is Jameel? The men laugh as one of them fishes out a lighter from his pocket.

He lets go of the open lighter, which falls slowly to the ground causing a sudden build up of flames on the white tiles. They walk out of the house... laughing. I beckon to mom for us to leave, as the house is now up in flames, but she clutches the black shirt of dad.

I notice the heart pendant, reach out for it and shove it in my pocket. "Mommy!!!", I scream, now very afraid of the hot orange flames all around us. Mom switches back to her senses and runs up to me. She picks up a brown blanket from the bed, wraps it around me and runs out of the house dodging falling objects and flames....Some which she could not dodge and she was a victim to. I cough out the smoke that enters my lungs threatening to suffocate me...when finally, I am able to take a deep breath of fresh air.

We are finally out of the hot inferno and fall to the front lawn. I wake up, my eyes adjusting to the darkened lawn. I look at mom, scarred and burnt. Her worried face black with soot. She turns suddenly towards the house, then me...."Where is Jameel??", she shouts at me. We both turn to the burning house...Our eyes red in shock and realisation.

I scream and tug at the bed sheets as I wake up from the horrifying nightmare. This time, I am unable to control myself. I scream and cry as I remember that night. The night that changed my life forever. The night that engulfed my father and brother. The night that took the peace of every other night of my life.

Malak switches the lights on and runs up to me. She stares at my shivering self and slowly walks back to her bed, leaving me to cry. Surprisingly, I am very grateful to her for that. I cry my heart out for the first time in my life and Malak is present to witness it. I somehow feel comforted by her being present, and am glad that she does not ask me any questions. When I seem to calm down, she walks to me with a packet of tissues. I look up to her, accept the offer and wipe my wet face. I sigh, relieved to have actually cried and let out all the frustration inside me that I had held back for years. She pats my back and calms me down.

When I seem to have calmed down, I look up at her and smile genuinely. She nods, and without speaking a word, she puts me back to sleep, switches the lights off, and goes back to sleep herself, surprising me like always. Then, I realise it...she knows...she knows what it feels like.