I'm a Regular Monster

Marinette woke up in darkness. Not just 'night' darkness, though — it was pitch black! As in 'her hand was not at the end of her arm' black.

She let out a frustrated groan as she rolled over and patted the bedside table in search of her phone. It must still be night. There was no way she'd slept for...

11 hours!

She shot up in bed, phone still in hand as she looked around. Well, attempted to! How the hell could it be 10 o'clock already?

"Are you trying to blind me?" Her partner's whine caught her attention, pulling her gaze toward the bed. There sat Chat Noir, still perfectly positioned as a barrier in the centre, but Adrien's side of the bed was conspicuously empty and neatly made.

"It's 10 o'clock!"

Chat Noir pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing a hand over his face and letting out a yawn. "Well, congratulations! You've mastered telling time."

Not wanting to engage in a one-woman wrestling match on her bed, Marinette awkwardly descended from the impossibly high mattress and attempted to navigate towards the window—emphasis on 'attempted'. She managed to trip over a shoe, clumsily collide with what she hoped was the coffee table (but might have been a sentient ottoman for all she knew), and gracefully entangle herself in the curtains. Miraculously, the curtains stayed put, sparing her from a full-scale drapery disaster.

With a determined grip on the edges, Marinette flung the curtains open, only to find herself face-to-face with a vision straight out of a fairytale: a stunning woman in a red and gold fitted playsuit, with dark, flowing ebony hair—a real-life Snow White. Before the woman could react, Marinette swiftly closed the curtains again, as if she'd accidentally stumbled into an enchanted forest and needed a moment to process it.

Fumbling in the dim light, she located what she hoped was a light switch and flipped it on, illuminating the room in a warm glow.

Though slightly on the harsh side, she was happy with the now glowing lamps in the room. She strode back to her side of the bed and began pacing, her mind racing with thoughts of how she couldn't possibly go out looking like this—especially at 10 o'clock! They'd all think she was lazy...or worse...

Suddenly, there was a small, tentative knock on the door. Marinette didn't need more than one guess to figure out who it was.

"Is it okay to come in?" Adrien's voice sailed through the wood of the door, smooth and far too awake for this time in the morning — he must have been up for hours, so why the hell hadn't he woken her up?

"Yes," she said curtly, not bothered if she sounded slightly on the angry side. She climbed back into bed and covered herself with the duvet.

The door creaked open and Adrien's face poked through, crazy bed hair sitting in a nest of sunshine yellow on his head. "Are you decent?"

"Yes."

Marinette's irritation simmered beneath the surface as Chat Noir's playful banter continued. "Decently insane!" he called out with a grin, his eyes sparkling mischievously. Then, he added with a hint of faux concern, "Watch your face. You look like a watermelon."

Marinette forced a tight-lipped smile, masking her growing annoyance. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that Chat Noir's antics were all part of the package.

"Kagami said she saw you open the curtains and then close them again. I wanted to check that you're okay." Adrien made his way into the room, carefully closing the door behind himself.

"That was Kagami?" She groaned, slamming her hands over her face and throwing herself back onto the pillows. The woman was an undeniable Disney Princess. The perfect features, hair and body. Marinette, however, looked like Cinderella pre-ball; hopeless and dull. "I'm a disaster! A complete disaster! I shouldn't have come."

She felt the bed dip beside her. A chuckle graced her ears before a hand reached out to pry her hands from her face. He was too close.

"You know who's a complete disaster? Mr Collins. He's, like, a total meme."

Marinette snorted, her hand instinctively flying to cover her mouth as she grimaced at the thought of morning breath. She scooted away from Adrien, hoping to spare him from the potential assault on his senses. Why hadn't she packed mints?

"Is he still reading that book?" Chat Noir quizzed with a slight laugh. "I wonder if he'll see it through to the end. I've got to give it to Darcy. He's committed."

"He's not Darcy," Marinette said, a little more authoritative than intended.

"You don't need to tell me!" Adrien stood from his seat and moved around the room. "Collins is a straight up joke. He just lost all his money because he sucks at whist but was like, 'Nah, it doesn't matter. This money is but a mere trifle the honourable Lady Catherine de Booba has distinguished upon me.' Darcy, however... I can get into his mindset."

The howling laugh which came from the other side of the room made Marinette squint — at least Adrien's back was to her.

"I told you he was Darcy! He's just straight up admitting it!" Chat Noir hooted out a loud laugh again. If there was only a way to shut him up!

"So, how angry is everyone that I'm still asleep?" Marinette asked. "I'm not exactly the best houseguest."

Her thoughts raced as she observed Adrien's relaxed posture. His smile was disarming, highlighting the dimple in his cheek, and as he crossed his arms, the sleeves of his tee stretched gently around his biceps, revealing a hint of defined muscle beneath. She couldn't help but notice how effortlessly good-looking he was, with his tousled hair and the way his eyes sparkled with warmth.

"Not at all. I've only been up for 15 minutes myself," Adrien said, his voice bringing Marinette's attention back to the conversation.

15 minutes! 15...minutes!

"You're lying!" she gasped. There was no way Adrien Agreste only took 15 minutes to look like Michelangelo's David — sculptured marble, perfection. Not that she was crushing or anything, but she had eyes and she knew perfect jawlines when she saw them.

"I've only showered and brushed my teeth. I'm male. There's not a lot to do." He shrugged and headed towards the closest, pulling out a couple of the fluffiest towels she'd ever seen. "It's not like I need to straighten my hair, or put on makeup. Men are quick."

Oh my goodness! She had found the most perfect, understanding man. She glanced at Chat Noir, who appeared impressed. "Not in all things!" he stated, unimpressed.

Adrien handed the towels over to Marinette, his smile, warm and bright. "Take your time getting ready. There's nothing really happening until later in the day, though I must warn you, Gammy is very excited to meet you. She seems to have it in her head that we're..."

His hands started flailing with overenthusiasm. She was never good at charades, and judging by Adrien's expression, he wasn't doing a great job of explaining—unless he was attempting to guide an aeroplane to a perfect landing, in which case he was surprisingly adept. She was certain that the Boeing 767 flying overhead could execute a flawless touchdown right into the pool.

"You're a squirrel. A chipmunk. Spider-Man!" Chat Noir jumped onto his feet and walked over to Adrien, his eyes wide with excitement. "I love a good game of charades."

Marinette ignored him. "We're...what?"

Adrien sighed and buried his head in his hands. "She thinks we're together."

"Oh!" Well, that caught her off guard. She was certain Adrien had told everyone she was just a plus one.

"I know, I swear I've told her — multiple times — but she thinks I've broken up with Chelsea to be with my true love. I'm so sorry, Marinette. She just won't accept that we are only, and will only be, friends."

She climbed onto the bed and crawled over towards him, resting on her knees. This time it was Marinette who reached out to Adrien, gently pulling his hands away from his face, her fingers wrapping around his wrists — morning breath be damned.

"It's okay. She'll see us together and understand there's absolutely nothing there. It'll be fine." She smiled, Adrien returning the grin.

"Thanks. I knew I could count on you."

Marinette was still holding onto him, the moment seeming to freeze in time. She studied his eyes intently. Adrien's eyes had always been just green to her, but on closer inspection, they revealed a whole new narrative—hidden details and little secrets waiting to be unlocked. They were a vibrant shade of spring green with tiny golden flecks of sunlight that she had never noticed before. These flecks of gold had suddenly become her favourite part of him, a tiny imperfection that made him undeniably human, a testament to the fascinating blend of genetics that created something wonderful and intriguing from the love of two people.

As Marinette's touch lingered, she felt his pulse quicken beneath her thumbs. The gentle thud grew more rapid, mirroring the quickening of her own heartbeat as her body moved closer to his, drawn in like a magnet. Her gaze subconsciously drifted to his lips, recalling the pale peach shade she often received at André's ice cream stand—a colour so similar to...

"Marinette, what are you doing?" Chat Noir sounded close and she realised he was sitting beside her.

"I better get ready," she whispered, her eyes absorbing the colour once more, committing it to memory like a treasure tucked away for a rainy day.

"Yeah," Adrien replied, his voice almost breathless, his eyes locking onto hers with a hint of intensity. "I'll—" He paused, clearing the thickness in his throat. "I'll get us something to eat."

He stepped away, his hand absentmindedly reaching for the door while his gaze lingered on her. Marinette suddenly felt a rush of vulnerability, as if she were standing there almost naked, bared to his gaze. The charged atmosphere left her heart racing as he reluctantly tore his eyes away and prepared to leave the room.

"So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" he asked.

The tense atmosphere dissolved as she burst out laughing, and their easy banter continued as if that moment hadn't actually happened.

"I swear I'm not trying to be Dean Martin, or that I'm implying we..." His cheeks grew into a delightful shade of pink as he attempted to grasp words from the air. "What I'm trying to say is, though I am not a culinary genius — at all — I can make a mean scrambled or boiled egg and I plan on doing scrambled for myself. Would you like some too?"

"Oh kwamis!" Chat exclaimed. "He's worse than you. How can most of the country be in love with this idiot? I'm thinking maybe Cobra Kai is your better option."

Marinette pressed her lips together tightly, holding back the tongue-lashing she wanted to unleash on her partner. "Scrambled would be great, please. I'll be out as quickly as I can."

Adrien smiled in response, then left the room, closing the door behind him. Marinette let out a sigh of relief and collapsed onto the bed. It had only been 11 hours, and she was already wondering if coming here had been a mistake.

*****

After a quick shower and makeup touch-up, Marinette agonised for over 10 minutes trying to decide what to wear. She was about to meet people well out of her league, and making a good impression on Gabriel Agreste was crucial. This was her chance to showcase herself.

Finally settling on a suitable combination, she exited the room, taking a deep breath before pausing to compose herself and put on her friendliest smile. Adrien wanted her here, and she knew he'd support her every step of the way. She could do this.

She took a step in the general direction of the living area and kitchen before rushing back into the room and slamming the door shut.

"What the hell was that?" Chat Noir asked. He stood in front of her with his arms folded across his chest.

"I can't do this! What if they think I'm using Adrien to get a step up in my job?"

"Using him for what exactly? It's not like he's getting anything out of this."

Marinette glared at him before pushing away from the door. "I don't know if you're being sarcastic or stating a point."

"Come on, LB, you heard Darcy. He wants you to use this to your advantage. He's on your side, even if he is a pompous twat who drives an Aston Martin." Chat Noir stepped forwards towards her, his hands aiming for their usual place on her upper arms, only to go straight through her and leave a coldness in its wake.

"Are you ever going to stop insulting him?" Marinette asked, Chat Noir shrugging in response.

"Sure, when he goes away I'll have no reason to insult him anymore."

She studied his face. His head had turned to look out the window.

"You're jealous!"

"Am not!" he retorted like a young child.

"You are! Oh wow! I never thought I'd see the day my little Kitty Cat was jealous of another male," Marinette teased.

"I'm not jealous of Darcy! He's a 6 when I'm a perfect 10. Nothing to be jealous about!"

"If you say so," she snorted, finally feeling brave enough to open the door and make her way out of the room.

"I'm not jealous!" Chat Noir shouted behind her.

She ignored him as she continued toward the kitchen, feeling a little more confident after Chat Noir's pep talk. Adrien was on her side, and she was certain that if Gabriel tried anything, her friend would step in for her. That's what friends did, right? Even if they were insanely attractive, with biceps like Thor.

The smell of scrambled eggs and bacon drifted through the air, finally landing on her nose. It was a comforting and irresistible scent, making Marinette's stomach rumble with hunger. She quickened her pace toward the source of the aroma, the sound of two voices now audible through the doorway, paired with the mouthwatering smell of breakfast.

As she peeked into the kitchen, Marinette saw Adrien dancing with a woman who was about half his size. His movements were gentle and cautious, as though he were dancing with a small child. Despite her petite stature, the woman appeared resilient and tough as nails. She was slim and delicate-looking, but Adrien's careful movements revealed her underlying strength and resilience, making it clear that she was no pushover.

"Um - good morning," Marinette said, stepping into the kitchen.

She giggled nervously as Adrien and Fiona, or rather, Gammy, turned to face the doorway, both beaming with bright smiles. Adrien returned to the stove to plate up, while Gammy made a direct beeline toward her.

"Nice to finally meet you, Pet."

Grabbing her in a tight grip, Gammy pulled Marinette into a hug. Despite expecting a thicker Gaelic accent, Marinette found she could easily understand Gammy's words. However, she wasn't quite sure why she was being called a "pet."

"She's a wee belter, Addy. Such a beauty."

"Addy?" Marinette questioned, turning to Adrien, who smiled widely back in response.

"My Gammy's cool. She has nicknames for all of us."

Marinette was curious to ask, wondering if Gabriel had a nickname like Gabby, or Gabe, or...Dave?

"How was your journey, Love? Addy mentioned you had a bit of a hiccup at work and set off a wee bit later than planned." Marinette didn't have time to respond before Gammy seized her arm and whisked her out of the kitchen, onto the terrace.

Marinette glanced around, taking in her surroundings. Adrien was right—it was indeed beautiful out here, with lush green hills stretching into the distance, uninterrupted by any signs of civilization. Her eyes then fell on the pool, where someone was already lounging on a chair, clad in the smallest yellow bikini she'd ever seen. Feeling slightly awkward at the lack of attire, Marinette quickly looked away.

"It's been a busy few weeks," Marinette responded, not wanting Gammy's first impression of her to be someone who was so negative and pessimistic.

"I hear old Stick Up the Arse is part of the reason why. The wee boy's father needs to understand there's more to life than work."

The mention of Gabriel Agreste had Marinette attempting to search him out, her eyes darting around like a detective at a crime scene. Her curiosity kicked into high gear, wondering if Adrien's father was lurking somewhere among the party guests. Her body seemed to be on a mission of its own, twitching and turning in search of the elusive Mr. Agreste, as if her eyes had their own GPS malfunction.

"Grumpy Gabe has gone to town," Gammy said, seeming to understand Marinette's motives. "Just us young ones for a while."

Gammy patted her hand and continued to lead her over to the patio table where a couple of people were already seated. People Marinette felt so beneath, it was unbelievable.

Kagami and Félix sat side by side, one hand intertwined with the other holding a newspaper. They looked like the epitome of an upper-class couple, from their clothing to their posture. Marinette felt herself instinctively pulling her shoulders back, trying to match the elegance of the couple at the table.

"Fefe, Gami, this is Marinette." Gammy introduced her with a familiar tone, as if they were old pals rather than Adrien's platonic plus one. Marinette couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth at the quick acceptance from this charming woman.

"Shoulders back, and don't let them intimidate you, Bug. You're a hero!" Chat Noir walked around to where the two nearly-weds were seated, standing behind them and cheering her on. This cat really was the light of her life. He truly believed she could do anything without fail.

Marinette straightened herself. "Hi, nice to meet you both. Adrien has told me a lot about you."

Like a prize-winning pup at Crufts, Marinette stood still as Félix and Kagami began to scrutinise her, their eyes sizing her up with playful scrutiny.

"Your skirt is effective," Kagami said without breaking a smile.

Félix stood and gracefully made his way over to Marinette. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Marinette. We've heard quite a bit about you."

"You have?" Marinette gasped, surprised by the revelation. Félix then pulled back two chairs for both women to sit down. The cousins truly were the epitome of gentlemen—polite and courteous. Marinette couldn't help but think that if she ever had a son, she'd definitely send him to Adrien for lessons in gentlemanly behaviour.

"Sure! You'll have to tell Gammy about how you and Adrien got an old lady drunk at a memorial event. She'll eat that up."

"It was just an accident," Adrien said from behind her. "We kind of spilled the drink and then...well, I got it wrong."

As a plate of scrambled eggs and meat was placed in front of her, Marinette's stomach growled loudly in appreciation, betraying her with a blush that spread across her face like a wildfire. Félix chuckled good-naturedly, raising an eyebrow in mock surprise.

"Well, I'd say your stomach approves," he remarked with a smirk, gesturing to the plate. "You're the first person ever to be excited by my cousin's cooking." A playful eyebrow lifted in amusement.

"That's because she's the only person he's ever cooked for," Kagami replied, her face maintaining its composure without even a hint of a smile. Marinette couldn't help but wonder if Kagami was 'botoxed to the max' to prevent any frown lines before her wedding.

"Ha-ha," Adrien exclaimed sarcastically, grabbing his fork and beginning to tuck in.

"But of course, this doesn't mean anything because you're just friends," Félix said, resting an arm around the back of Kagami's chair and tilting his head to the side.

"Exactly," Marinette agreed, nodding as she grabbed her own fork and took a bite of the scrambled eggs whilst eying up the sausage.

Surprisingly, it was actually pretty good. She couldn't help but be impressed that Adrien could whip up a decent meal, and wondered if there were hidden culinary talents beneath his charming exterior.

"The wee lad has cooked for me loads of times," Gammy remarked, grabbing her teacup from the table and taking the daintiest sip. Marinette couldn't help but marvel at how Gammy's pinky behaved, as if it were royalty, elegantly sticking up in the air.

"That's because you're his favourite, Gammy."

Adrien smirked and saluted his cousin, Marinette giggling into her food.

As Adrien and Félix continued their tête-à-tête, Gammy reached out, placing a hand on Marinette's arm and keeping her voice low, a wild twinkle in her eyes. "If you think his eggs are good, just wait until you taste his sausage, Pet."

Marinette wasn't sure if Gammy knew the innuendo of what she had just said, but, if she did, the woman was a legend. Her face hadn't even cracked.

Everything felt surprisingly natural, despite Félix's fiancée's cool demeanour. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and Marinette found herself welcomed into the discussions as if she belonged there. It was like stepping into a scene from a romantic comedy, where she was the unexpected but delightful addition to the group dynamic.

"So, Gammy, what's the plan for this evening?" Adrien asked, finishing off his eggs.

As Gammy began filling them in on her plans for the night, Marinette felt herself relax for the first time in years. She was no longer an outsider; she had been accepted and embraced by this lively group. With Adrien and Gammy by her side, she felt supported and ready to face whatever the evening had in store. All she had to do now was survive her first face-to-face encounter with Gabriel since their original, disastrous meeting in London. The stakes were high, but with her newfound allies and a touch of luck, Marinette was determined to navigate this encounter with grace and maybe even a sprinkle of charm.

Yep, she wasn't afraid at all.

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