The Sinner- 2

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not proofread, ignore the mistakes

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Arnav's room..

Shantivan...

Arnav entered in the room with slow steps and was taken aback by the darkness. His heart thud violently..

" Why the lights are off? Even the bedside lamp? Khushi is scared of darkness.. Who had put off the lights dammit?" Arnav murmured lowly not wanting to disturb Khushi who is asleep in her side of the bed curl up like a ball.

Arnav slowly came and stand besides Khushi.. Looking at Khushi he felt regret wash over him once again.. How could he even mistrusted her? How he even thought that Khushi will have an affair with a married man? Arnav remember how Khushi values culture and how traditional she is...

" How? How I became so heartless? How dammit? Di is right, whenever my anger overpowers me, I lose my rational thinking... if only, I would think properly, today everything would be different.. Di would get divorce way before and she would get less hurt, that kidnapping also be avoided and Khushi... should would not lose her dream... But I will rectify my every misdeed.. Now that Di has accepted the reality and moving on, I will fulfil all your dreams Khushi.. The family will gladly accept you and I will mend the broken relationship of yours with your parents, too.. Now every darkness will be gone..I am sorry Khushi... I did so many wrong with you and today I actually did a blunder.. I should not have called you the " Biggest mistake", Khushi.. It was just my slip pf tongue..I was so scared watching Di's condition that I forgot to think rationally. It was my anger Khushi, not my inner soul spoke.. You must understand Khushi.." Arnav whispered all those words while kneeling down besides a sleeping Khushi.. His voice was low, full of emotions and regret.. " I love you Khushi.. I know you also love me.. It was because of me our life became so messy, but I promise you my love, everything will sorted now... We will be happy together.." saying so Arnav placed a soft kiss in back of Khushi's palm and slowly lie down on the bed on his side...soon Arnav's breathing became rhythmic indicating Arnav had fallen asleep.

Few moments later Khushi slowly opens her eyes.. her eyes are blank, face is emotionless and her whole posture is screaming tiredness.. a sad smile appeared over her now pale lips..

"Now that Di has accepted the reality and moving on, I will fulfil all your dreams Khushi.." Khushi uttered those same words which Arnav spoke few moments ago but in a mocking tone...

" So, Now that Anjaliji is happy, Mr Raizada will fulfil my dreams?" Khushi chuckle and again murmured, " What a great life I have... My foster family, except babuji, treat me like an outsider, always their Payal's and her happiness matters.. Accidentally my contracted in laws of six months treated me like a trash.. depending upon Anjali Raizada's mood swings and activity, they decides the treatment towards me....and the person whom I mistakenly fall in love, he left no stone unturn to destroy me.. and tagged me with so much new names, "Characterless", "home-breaker," " Gold Digger" and now " Biggest Mistake".. but now his sister and family is accepting me believing about my innocence after knowing the truth so, the mighty ASR is now promising to fulfil my dream... How generous... all of them are deciding what should be done for me or to my life since forever.. as if I am a doll or a plaything...I was literally speechless when Payal jiji came and asked to join in Anjaliji's room, because Anjali ji had find out about Shyam's betrayal.... Now that everything came out in open light, Khushi became "Bitiya", but few days before the same Khushi was a curse, was a home-wreker and what not..."

Khushi sigh aloud and felt Arnav shifted a little.. Khushi stilled for few moments not wanting to wake Arnav up as she is in no mood to converse with him, not now, not anytime soon...

"Am I a toy to play with? Or do they think I am a robot who has no heart? How much selfish they all are... How can they treat another Human being so brutally?" Khushi thought herself but immediately chuckle, " I was never a human for them.. I was an orphan, bad omen for few, was a characterless , home wrecker for few others.. If they all think so low about me, then what there is to prove? And why I would prove myself again and again?? What I have got being so selfless and always putting others happiness before myself? What I got thinking about protecting Anjaliji from a heartbreak, that I am a gold digger and I seduce married man? What I got falling in love with a rude, egoist man, forgiving his every misdeed , that I am a low life, that I am a biggest mistake? What I got after putting myself though hell by agreeing this six month contract marriage to save Payal jiji's marriage, that I am a bad omen, that I am not their own blood? I lost my dream of a ritualistic wedding, a dream of having an own little family, a husband who will love me, instead became a live in partner of an abuser, all for what? For saving others life and for always putting other's need before me.. But not anymore... Not now , not ever.." Khushi thought determined..

Slowly Khushi came out of bed not disturbing Arnav and stand infront of the mirror... Khushi looked at her reflection intently..

"Who is the woman looking back at me? This skinny, paled, tired, dishevelled woman? Where were that chirpy, fun loving, jovial girl gone?" Khushi thought still staring at her reflection..

In the last one year, her surrounding, the events occurred around and involving her, the way her family and other people in her life treated her everything flashed before her eyes and the remaining lights slowly wipe off from her eyes..

" They all thought so low about me.. Treat me brutally.. Killed my self-respect, my hope and my soul.. Are not they are all murderers? Will not they get punishment for their deeds?" Khushi looked at her reflection and asked lowly, "But I am physically alive.. and in our law, there is no punishment for killing a person emotionally.."

"So your killer will roam free and you will stuck in your misery forever.." Khushi's inner voice mocked and Khushi nodded her head negatively...

" No.. No.. No..." Khushi nodded her head frantically... Khushi run out the room towards poolside and looked at her reflection in the water...there comes again the broken woman, gone the young vibrant girl of only 20 years...

" Gold Digger", "Characterless", "Bad Blood", " Orphan", " Home-wrecker" "Biggest Mistake"...

Those words rang in Khushi's head and she felt the same heartache.. Those words echoed again and again.. As if the air of Shantivan is whispering the words, as if the plants are murmuring the same and the pool water also ashamed to hold her reflection...

Khushi continue to nod her head in negative, " I am not like these.. I never seduced any married man, I never intended to broke someone's home, I never fall in love with Mr Raizada for his money, I never wanted to break Jiji's marriage, I am not like this... My moral, my belief, my values .. I...I.." finally Khushi broke down beside the poolside..

" That is past .. Now everyone believe you.." A part of her heart whisper and Khushi is about to smile but another voice hissed within her,

" They believed you after getting the proof of Shyam's treachery.. They did not accepted and believe you on your words... If same like incident happen in near future, again you will be abandoned, thrown away like a rag doll, crushed down brutally... You are their favourite TOY, whom they want to play and abuse as per their own wish..."

Khushi was torn between the conflicted emotions developing within her heart..

" Everyone makes mistakes.. Forgive them and hold onto the happiness which is coming towards your life..Now your Arnavji will fulfil all your dream, remember?"

Khushi devours the word " Dream" and " Arnavji"... She wanted to feel her heartbeat rise up again but another voice shut her emotions,

" You have no self respect Khushi... Arnavji..really now?? He is only capable of being " Chotey", no one else.. Now his sister is happy, so he is showing mercy on you.. he is giving you some slacks in between your hell time.."

Khushi felt those words again rang in her head..." Gold Digger", "Characterless", "Bad Blood", " Orphan", " Home-wrecker" "Biggest Mistake"...

Khushi felt her heart constricted and burn like anything.. No.. No.. she can not go again with the mirage...

" But He loves you Khushi, you know that.. Your hearts knows that.." the soft corner of her heart whispered..

"That is pure guilt, nothing else..." the strong voice pierced her heart .. " His behaviour towards you depends upon his sister's wellbeing.. You are just an obligation for him..."

Khushi tried hard to suppress those voices but alas, they are getting sharper with each passing second..

"He did not know about the truth, that's why he behaved this way.." the softer side protested..

" He did not TRY for once to find out the truth, he just BELIEVED the words that his BROTHER IN LAW fed him... he believed the fraud because he is family and you are a middle class woman for him.. if he truly loves you, he would trusted you..." the voice was too sharp for Khushi's liking... She wanted to deny the facts but alas, it's all true..

" He misunderstood you, Khushi.. he did mistakes.." the corner of her heart which was still beating for Arnav whispered..

"Mistrusting your love is equal to a sin.. He claimed he loves you but he never trusted or respected you... Still if you think to forgive him, then you are a pathetic woman Khushi.." and that was it...Khushi felt again the forgotten burning sensation remembering Arnav's barbaric act and those hurtful words against her.. her eyes became empty and heart ached with a known pain..but she fisted her hand with determination.. There is no going back..

" Focus on the positive side Khushi.. Give life a chance.. Forgive everyone and Forgive Arnav.. one chance and you will be happy..." The softer side whispered lowly but another part, the much stronger part almost shouted, " don't let your guard down Khushi.. if you lose your self-respect, you will lose yourself... and besides, your contract will end within 3 more weeks.. then?? Who knows what will be Arnav's reaction then?"

" Khushi, did you forget the night when you both became one? The love you share?" it was probably the last battle of the soft corner of her heart but this time Khushi spoke fisting her hand, " That was my love but Mr Raizada's Lust or may be for few second he was attracted towards me... by he tossed the whole thing when he called me as " biggest mistake".. He had the guts to tell me that he regret meeting me?? If I forgive him, his family and my family, then what will happen? They will again took me for granted, and use me time and again..I will better disappear from their life and start afresh..."

Khushi looked at the pool water while the conflicting thoughts slowly began to fade away... few questions arise within her heart and Khushi whisper, " Why I would run away? How long will I run away like a criminal when I am actually the victim of everyone's wrong doing? Why? Will I ever forget those words if I run away?" the answer was very simple.. No ... never... The inhuman behaviour and cruel acts of all others somewhere twisted her mind and clouded her thoughts.. Khushi knew her view towards life had been changed.. Most importantly she has been changed...

" Gold Digger", "Characterless", "Bad Blood", " Orphan", " Home-wrecker" "Biggest Mistake"...

" Gold Digger", "Characterless", "Bad Blood", " Orphan", " Home-wrecker" "Biggest Mistake"...

Those words rang in her head again and again, and something shifted in Khushi's eyes.. Her blank eyes reflected a sheer hatred with determination.. A sickening smile appeared in her lips..

" all of them had already made my life a joke, snatched my dreams, tagged me with names, abused me, betrayed me.. I had always think good for everyone, tried to spread happiness and love around me, never for once thought negative about anyone.. But in return they all just made my world upside down, specially Mr Raizada... There is nothing to lose anymore.. I have already lost my hope, dream, believe, faith, soul, body, mind, innocence.. Every damn thing I adored.. I got punished for the sin I never had committed.. Can a person die again and again?? I am already a dead soul... you all rewarded me this painful death without any fault of mine Mr Raizada.. What will happen if the table turns? What will happen if I cross the boundary in real ? everything within me had died a painful death.. I have 3 more weeks before leaving all of your life.. But before that I will give you all back what you have rewarded me with.."

" Gold Digger", "Characterless", "Bad Blood", " Orphan", " Home-wrecker" "Biggest Mistake"...

Khushi plucked a blooming bud from Arnav garden and mercilessly crushed that... Her eyes are raging with fury, hand fisted while a crooked smile appeared in her face..

"Let's make all of the assumption about me became true.. let's do the Sins for which I already got punishment..

Lets be the SINNER..."

To be continued....

Author note:

Hi everyone...

There is the second part.. This story will be different and an experimental one like " Withered with hurt", It will make you think as well as many conflict may arise.. You all are welcome to share your opinion.. From the next chapter expect few unexpected things... and this story will be a short story..

Waiting for your precious opinion..

Thank you all once again for you love and prayer..

Take care, stay safe..

Love,

Your Storyteller,

Mamree

08.11.2021