We cut to a canyon where we see two bases on either side. We then cut to one of the bases where we see Y/N and Matthew along with two soldiers standing on top of the base.

The first soldier wearing maroon armor is Dick Simmons.

And the soldier in orange is Dexter Grif.

The four of them are on Red Team. They continue to stare at the open canyon before Simmons looks at Grif, Y/N, and Matthew.

Simmons: Hey.

Grif: Yeah?

Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here?

Grif: It's one of life's great mysteries. Isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we a product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know guys, but it keeps me up at night

Y/N, Matthew, and Simmons looked at each other before looling at Grif.

Y/N: What the hell? He meant why are we out here in this canyon.

Grif: Oh uh....yeah.

Matthew: The hell was all that about the Almighty, man?

Grif: Uhh... nothing.

Simmons: You wanna talk about it?

Grif: No.

Y/N: You sure?

Grif: Yeah.

Matthew: Following what Simmons said. Why the fuck are we out here? I mean the place is enclosed box canyon. No way in or out... except up.

Y/N: Well, not quite. There are other possible ways of getting out. You can dig your way out, fly your way out, explode your way out, injure yourself out and-

Simmons: That's not what he meant Y/N. What he meant was that the only reason that we set up a Red Base here, is because they have a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base here.

Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other.

Y/N: And why we're Red and Blue.

Grif: Smartass.

Matthew: Might as well leave it, there's no point in keeping a base out here. It's just stupid to me.

Simmons: No, no, but I mean, even if we were pulled out today, and they were to come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoop-Dee Fucking-Doo

Y/N: What is up with that anyway? I sign up to fight aliens and help people. Not standing here guarding a flag.

Matthew: Me too but this to me is punishment for being "accused" of desertion and now here I am. Whoever sent me here instead of fighting the alien bastards needs an ass-whooping, because that shit is unacceptable for wasting resources on one person.

Grif: Yeah, next thing you know Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant Armada, and I'm stuck here fighting a bunch of blue guys.

Y/N: Are you saying you would prefer to fight aliens with advanced weapons, then a bunch of blue guys?

Grif: ....touché.

Matthew: You might as well, fat ass. You need to lose the weight. I can send your ass over there right now, get shot at then come right back just to meet your daily running quota today. And don't worry I'll be watching... from a far.

Grif: Asshole.

(Meanwhile)

We cut to a nearby cliffside where we see two blue soldiers. One in cyan and the other in light blue color. These are obviously the Blue Team.

The cyan color is named Lavernius Tucker.

While the other one is named Leonard Church.

Church is seen holding a sniper rifle and zooming in and watching the Red Team.

Tucker: What are they doing?

Church: (looks at Tucker, annoyed) What?

Tucker: I said what are they doing now?

Church: God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!

Tucker: You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit! Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick.

Church: Okay, okay, look. They're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week. That's what they were doing when you ask me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now, when you ask me "What are they doing?", my answer's going to be, "They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there."

Tucker looks down on the ground before looking back at Church.

Tucker: What are they talking about?

Church: ...........You know what? I fucking hate you.

(Meanwhile)

We cut back to Y/N, Matthew, Grif, and Simmons where we see Grif talking while Y/N, Matthew, and Simmons listen.

Grif: Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life. Y'know, fight them.

Matthew: Already happened to me, Grif. They're not something you want to fight with at all.

Simmons: Yeah, no shit that's why they should put us in charge

A red soldier from the bottom of the base looks up at the four.

Red Soldier: Ladies! Front and center on the double!

Simmons/Grif: Fuck.

Y/N: Going! 

Matthew: Yes, sir!

Matthew jumps off of Red Base and lands on the ground to meet with the Red Soldier. Y/N then went running up to the Red Soldier known as Sarge as he stand next to Matthew.

Y/N: You called Sarge?

Sarge: Yes Y/N, I did, but first-

Sarge then looks at Grif and Simmons who are still walking slowly towards Sarge.

Sarge: Hurry up, ladies! This ain't no ice cream social!

Simmons and Grif then exchanged looks before looking back at Sarge.

Simmons: Ice cream social?

Matthew: (to Simmons and Grif) Cut the shit out with you two and pay attention.

Sarge: Stop the pillow talk, you two. Anyone. Want to guess. Why I gathered you here? Today?

Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?

Y/N: (facepalm) Really Grif?

Sarge: (sarcastic and looks at Grif) That's exactly it private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, Y/N is in charge of the merchandise, Carlson'll play the music, and Simmons here IS IN CHARGE OF THE CONFETTI!!!!!!!

Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.

Simmons: (sighs)

Sarge: God DAMN it, Private! Shut your damn mouth, or else I'll have Carlson silt your throat while you're asleep!

Matthew puts his knife on Grif's throat.

Matthew: I will make sure no one hears you scream at night. I'll be in and out like a ninja, you fuck.

Grif: (gulps) Please don't.

Sarge: I know you would, Carlson. Good man.

Y/N: Hang on Sarge. Isn't that a little extreme?

Simmons: Wasn't Grif the one who destroyed your nearly completed nine-month project on the Hydra?

Y/N: (reloads his black colored DM) Say the signal and I'll do it, Sarge.

Sarge: One day Y/N. One day. Now a couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

Grif: Crap. We're getting a rookie.

Sarge: That's right, dead man.

Matthew: (removes himself from Grif) Let's see if this guy is more intelligent than these guys. No offense, Y/N. I wasn't talking about you.

Y/N: None taken. When's our rookie coming here Sarge?

Sarge: Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we received the first part of our shipment from Command.

Grif, Y/N, Matthew, and Simmons look at each other before looking at Sarge. Sarge then turned to the hill behind him.

Sarge: Lopez, bring up the vehicle.

A soldier in brown armor named Lopez is seen driving a warthog before stopping next to the Reds.

Matthew: SHOTGUN!

Simmons: Shotgun!

Grif: Shotgun!

Grif and Simmons then realizes that they were too late.

Grif/Simmons: FUCK!

Sarge: May I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four-inch armor plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen! This is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.

Simmons: Why Warthog, sir?

Matthew: It's because that's what it's called, Simmons. I thought you would know because you're the fucking nerd of this team.

Y/N: You know, I think I can make some modifications to the Warthog, with the right materials and equipment. Maybe replace the gunner position with a rocket launcher.

Sarge: Excellent idea Y/N.

Y/N: Thank you, sir.

Grif: (doesn't listen) But why is it called Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig.

Sarge: (looks at Grif) Say that again?

Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.

Matthew: I mean it does... look like one, but you can't change the name unless you own one yourself, bro.

Sarge: What in sam hell is a puma?

Y/N: You don't know what a puma is sir?

Simmons: (looks at Grif) Uh, you mean the shoe company?

Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat, like a lion.

Sarge: You're making that up.

Grif: I'm telling you it's a real animal.

Sarge: (looks at Y/N) Y/N, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.

Y/N: Sarge, with all respect, and I can't believe I'm defending Grif, but a puma is a real animal.

Sarge: (grumbles, looks at Simmons) Alright then. Simmons, you'll poison Grif's next meal.

Simmons: Yes sir.

Matthew: (whispering to Y/N) Hey, I think he thinks you're lost cause already.

Y/N: (whispers) I can tell that, Jackass.

Sarge: Look. (points to the front of the warthog) See, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks, and what kind of animal has tusks?

Grif: A walrus.

Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!

Y/N: (sighs) I need a vacation.

Matthew: Oh fuck off with everyone here.

(Meanwhile)

We cut to Church and Tucker as we see them watching the Reds with Church still holding the sniper rifle.

Tucker: What is that thing?

Church: (lowers the sniper rifle) I don't know, man. Looks like uh...Looks like they got some sorta car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it.

Tucker: A car? How come they get a car?

Church: What are you complaining about, man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop.

Tucker: You can't pick up chicks in a tank.

Church: Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything, couldn't you? We're going to get a tank, and you're about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?

Tucker: (sighs) What kind of car is it?

Church: (looks through his sniper scope) I dunno, I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a...uh...Like a big cat of some kind.

Tucker: .......What, like a puma?

Church: Yeah, man, there you go.

(Meanwhile)

We cut back to Red Base where we see the Reds still talking to one another.

Sarge: So unless anybody has any more mythical creatures to suggest a name for the new vehicle, we're going to stick with the Warthog. How about it, Grif?

Grif: (dejected) No, sir. No more suggestions.

Sarge: Are you sure? How 'bout bigfoot?

Grif: It's okay.

Sarge: Unicorn?

Grif: No really. Uh, I'm cool.

Matthew: Heh... what about a Yeti?

Sarge: Sasquatch?

Simmons: Leprechaun?

Y/N: Screw it. Hydra.

Grif: (looks at Y/N, Matthew, and Simmons) Hey, come on guys. He doesn't need any help, man.

Matthew: (chuckles) That's not our problem, that's your problem.

Sarge: Phoenix?

Grif: (sighs) Christ.

Y/N: A purple dragon.

Matthew: Wait, you mean a sex toy?

Y/N: No, gross! Where did you get that idea from?

Matthew: (points to himself) Certified street hustler right here. Been up and down the streets and heard a lot of sexual innuendos in my life. The way you said it speaks for itself the way I heard it. And no homo by the way.

Y/N: ........Dude, no offense, but that is disgusting.

Sarge: Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.

Simmons: Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir.

Sarge: (looks at Grif) Hey Grif, Chupa-thingy! How 'bout that? I like it. Gotta ring to it.

Matthew: (to Y/N) Wait to until you really see what life can be here, kid. Its a mind clusterfuck. (To Sarge) And shit, Chupa-thingy does sound catchy.

Y/N: Goddamn it...

Chapter 1 ended.

The first chapter is done. I had to mixed up two episodes to make the chapter longer and better. Let me know what you guys if think or if you some ideas for the next chapter at the comments below. Peace out and enjoy!