I don't know what is happening to me? How long? How long will I hold onto all these? How long will I keep all these to myself? I can't anymore. All of these things are eating me from the inside leaving me with nothing but a void to keep my company. As much as I want to share my feelings, I exasperate at the thought of it.

The thought of opening up to anyone is enough to make me feel weak to the bone although it shouldn't. I am alone in my room now. ALONE. Like always.

The grayish tint of my bedroom wall is slowly fading away in the background. I can't even remember the last time we fixed or changed something in this house. My dad says we are always short on money. Well, of course. What else can I expect when all the money is spent to buy alcohol and who knows what.

My bed twitches as I sit on it as if it would collapse into itself at any moment. Like myself.

The little lamp in my room stands in full solitary on my bedside table. It is the only source of light in my bedroom given the circumstances. Other than that, I have a light bulb which hasn't been working for ages. Although I have a small window at one corner of my room but all you can see from it is the wall of our neighboring building blocking away all the sunlight.

It feels more like a prison than a home. I am afraid that it is not even eligible to be called house let alone a home. Home is where one's soul reside. Where you have made enough memories to keep yourself attached to it.

"Aeri?" my dad crept in through the door. The door left ajar, forgotten. It surprised me how he has managed to stay sober, he repeats my name in a gentle tone which is not what I get to hear on a daily basis. Most of the time I consider myself lucky if he even speaks to me. It makes me wonder what façade he is wearing this time and what purpose it serves.