Leonardo shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Mona Lisa had come out of the lab and given him a sweet smile, but that did little to calm his nerves. He'd heard some yelling, but he couldn't make out what was being said. It had been quiet for a while now, but when he pressed his ear up against the door it sounded like Raph and Donnie were having an argument. That was to be expected, after all, Raphael didn't take being put on bed rest lying down. The eldest turtle face-palmed. He hadn't exactly meant it to come out quite like that. It was actually a very Mikey-esque statement.

He really shouldn't be here at all. He should be giving Donnie and Raph the space they needed, but Leonardo was desperate. He needed to see his brother. He just had to. The sound of low murmuring voices stopped and Leo tensed. He was a little bit worried, even though he knew there was no real reason to be. Slowly and tentatively, Leo slid the door open. He froze in the doorway and immediately felt guilt beginning to creep over him.

Raphael was holding Donatello in a tight embrace, which Donnie was returning full force. Leonardo realized that he had stepped in on a very private moment between his younger siblings. All he could do was stand there staring like an idiot. He knew he should move, or at the very least make up an excuse to leave, but he couldn't. His mouth was completely dry. Leo flinched as he realized that both of his brothers were staring at him.

Raphael tried to protest as Don extricated himself from the hug and began to walk away, but as soon as Raph's eyes met Leo's, any objections went unsaid. The brainiac masked his emotions as he glanced from Leo to Raph. The older turtles looked as though they couldn't decide whether to fight or hug each other to death. Donnie stiffened. Raph wasn't done talking with him, he knew that, but now was not the time. His eyes steeled over. The unresolved tension between his two older brothers was palpable. He could feel it. All of a sudden Donatello's longing and desperation returned. He had to get out of here. He had to leave before whatever the shell was about to happen happened. But his legs wouldn't move. He was a fly stuck in middle of a spider's web. A whimper escaped him, and suddenly all of Raph's attention was once again on him.

"Donnie? You okay?" Raph asked with concern.

Donatello noted the way that Leo's eyes stayed glued to Raphael. Luckily for him, the break ebbed away a little of the tension and he was able to cobble together, "I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about." He quickly scurried out of the room, not realizing that Raph was staring worriedly after him.

The worried pout quickly melted into a tight line, just millimeters away from being a frown, as Raph turned to face Leo once again. Uneasiness began to turn his stomach as Leo continued to stare wordlessly at him. Leonardo had always been a paradox. To Raph, the eldest turtle had always been the easiest, yet the hardest of his brothers to read.

Leo had a very bad habit of stuffing all his emotions behind an impenetrable mask. And now, as ocean blue clashed with neon green, Leo's mask was his advantage. But as Raphael had observed, Leo was both the hardest and the easiest of to read. All Raph had to do was wait, bide his time, and sooner or later Leo's composure would crack. Sadly, as much as he hated to admit it, Raph knew that the only way he'd be able to get past Leo's Fearless façade was by direct confrontation. The younger turtle frowned and was pulled from his thoughts when Leo took a few steps towards him.

"You're up." Leo said coldly.

Anger began to bubble in Raph's gut at Leo's tone. Why the shell did the older turtle have to be so damn controlled all the time? "Brilliant observation." He muttered, trying and failing to keep the resentment out of his voice. Raph internally sighed as his older brother stiffened.

Frustration flashed through Leo's eyes. Raph's tone really stung, but he hid his hurt. Before he could stop it, all the anger, all the worry, all the stress from the past couple weeks flooded him and he completely lost it. He stomped over to Raph's side and forcefully grabbed his younger sibling by the neck more tightly than he meant to. "Five fucking days, Raphael." The eldest turtle growled dangerously

Raph's eyes were impossibly wide. Leonardo almost never cussed. The hothead's anger was out the window. He had to admit, Leo was really, really close to scaring him right now. His neck ached uncomfortably at the harsh angle Leo was forcing him to maintain. He wanted to shift, but the fiery rage burning in Leo's eyes made him think twice. Raph could do nothing but meet his older brother's gaze as Leo went on.

"Five fucking days you were lost in the sewers. We had no idea whether you were alive or dead. All we had was hope. You were alive when Leatherhead found you. Logically, no one in your condition could have survived that long." Leo's ice-cold tone was back, but his fury was clear in the way his eyes glinted and his fingers maintained their vice-like grip on Raph's neck.

Staring directly up at his older sibling, Raph murmured, "Since when do you care about logic?" Leo's grip tightened and Raph flinched a little. Still, he pushed the slight pain to the side. Right now Leo was more important. "Stop." Raph ordered firmly.

Dark blue eyes narrowed dangerously. The younger turtle easily deflected the angry glare. His hand slowly came up to rest on Leo's shoulder. "I'm not the one you're mad at, Leo." The hand on his neck recoiled and Raph watched as Leo's mask shattered.

Pain, stress, and slowly dawning horror made Raph grab Leo's shoulder before he could run off. "Raph I—" His eyes fell to Raph's neck. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know what came over me." At Raph's request, Leo sat beside his brother on the lab table. He couldn't look his brother in the eyes. He felt Raph's hand on his shoulder once more.

"Yes you do." Raph said softly. Leo stared at his younger brother. He was surprised, even though he knew he shouldn't be. Raphael always knew exactly how to reach him. "You need to let it out now, Leo. Keeping it in will only make things worse. Come on, big brother. Give me the lecture. I can take it."

Leo sobbed pitifully and took Raph into his arms, pressing the side of his head against his little brother's plastron, listening to the sound of Raph's heartbeat.

Raphael was shocked and utterly speechless. Leo hadn't clung to him like this since they were little. His shock faded and he tried to pull away, but Leo wouldn't have it. Raph smiled and looked down at Leo, curiously. He chuckled as Leo whined and childishly tried to pull him even closer. Suddenly worry began to dull the mood. If Leo, the fearless leader, was reacting this way, it must have been really bad. The sound of Leo's voice snapped Raph out of it.

"Don't you ever do anything that stupid again!" Leo said, trying to sound stern.

Raph grinned. Ah good, the lecture. "I was saving your life, Fearless." He belatedly realized that was the wrong thing to say.

Leo's eyes clouded over with tears and he pulled himself up to stare directly into Raph's eyes. "I had to live through one of my worst nightmares, Raphael. I lost you. You were gone. You were gone because I failed you."

Raph's growl made Leo jump a little. "You didn't fail me, Leo."

The older turtle didn't hear the warning edge in his younger brother's tone. He shook his head and disagreed. "Yes I did! I'm your older brother, I'm supposed to protect you!"

Neon green eyes flashed angrily. "Let's face it Leo, you can't protect all of us all the time! And you sure as hell can't shield us from the world or we'll never learn! You always stand there lecturing us about what we did wrong, about what we can and can't do, you hover over our shoulders every waking moment. Leo, ya gotta realize that there are things you can't control! And when those things happen, you can't blame yourself! Blaming yourself for other people's actions is just another form of selfishness, big brother." He tilted Leo's face up slightly. "And I know you're a far cry from selfish. So shape up and stop thinking like that."

Gaping in awe at how mature and how wise his younger brother sounded, Leo's entire body began to shake with the force of his emotions. His mind was racing around what Raphael had said. The words left him with a plethora of questions that he would need to sort out later, probably through meditation. Later. Right now, there was something Leo needed even more urgently. He wrapped his arms around Raphael yet again, only this time his eyes were dry. He smiled and whispered softly, "Raph." He said, his voice coming out airy, like a sigh of relief. Leo patted Raph's shell, endearingly. "Oh boy, we missed you."

Raphael rolled his eyes and swatted Leo's head affectionately. "Missed you too, ya nut."

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Leo didn't emerge from the lab until half an hour later and when he did, he was surprised to find Donnie, Mikey and Master Splinter all gathered in the hall outside. Donnie and Mikey looked worried. Splinter just looked...calm. "Is everything alright, my son?" Splinter asked softly.

The blue-masked turtle blinked a couple of times and nodded. "Yes, Master Splinter. Everything's fine."

"Is Raph still awake?" Mikey asked, suddenly bouncing forward, making Leo jump and stammer.

"Uh-yeah." Leo answered, stunned by his little brother's restlessness.

Mikey turned and glanced uncertainly at Master Splinter. The old rat smiled. "Go ahead, my son. I shall speak with Raphael after you have finished."

The youngest smiled gratefully and bounded over to the lab doors. Donatello yelled after him, "Go easy on him! He's still recovering!"

Leo put a hand on Don's shoulder. "Don't worry Donnie, I'm sure Raph can handle Mikey just fine."

Donnie frowned. "He needs rest."

"And he'll get it. Right now, we all need a little bit of reassurance." Leo replied softly. He could understand Don's concern. He threw an arm over Donnie's shoulders and squeezed gently. Don smiled gratefully at him. "Come on, let's go see what kind of trouble Mona Lisa's managed to get herself into." He quipped playfully and the two of them waved to their father. Leo smirked. "Race you to the main room!" He yelled, taking off at tremendous speed.

Donnie's eyes narrowed with determination as he took off after Leo. "You think a head-start will help you? I thought you were smarter than that!"

Leonardo laughed.

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Mikey rushed into the lab, slamming the door shut behind him. The resulting bang made Raph sit up straight and look around.

The next thing Raph knew, he had his arms full of Michelangelo. He rolled his eyes in fake annoyance, but a smile danced across his lips. Deep down on the inside, Raph was certain that Mikey's antics would never cease to amuse him. "Hey Mikey." He grunted.

"RAPHIE!" Mikey wailed, forlornly. Tears streamed down his freckled cheeks in a rushing torrent.

Guilt flooded Raph's heart. He couldn't stand it when Mikey cried. "Mikey." No response, just more sobs. Raph shifted and cradled his baby brother gently in his arms. "Mikey, it's okay. I'm here. It's okay, it's okay. I'm right here. Right here beside you. I'm going to be fine. Everything's going to be alright." There was no phrase Raph hated more than 'everything's going to be alright'. To him it always rang false. There was no way of knowing whether or not it would be the truth. But right now, he figured that was what Mikey needed to hear. Unfortunately, he figured wrong.

Mikey stiffed and pulled away a little. "Don't say that Raph. You don't know that! None of us know that! That woman, the woman who did this to you, is still out there!" Mikey said, suddenly very excited. His hands shook with an emotion that Raph had trouble identifying.

Raph's eyes widened as he realized just what emotion it was. He stiffened.

Sure, they all knew that given the circumstances Mikey could be just as protective as Leo. Sure, Mikey was protective of his older brothers. But the youngest usually left them to their own devices because he knew they could handle their own. That was why he only struck out when someone threatened or hurt them badly. And of course, being brothers, Raphael knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of Michelangelo's ire. But this...Raph had never seen his baby brother look like this.

Mikey was livid.

Not only that, but the anger permeating those baby-blue eyes was a dark echo of Raphael's own inner fury and that was what spooked the hothead the most. He fearfully gripped one of Mikey's hands. "Mikey, let it go."

A dark look spread across Michelangelo's youthful features, making Raphael feel as though he were staring a younger, more confused version of himself. Mikey snarled. "I should have killed her when I had the chance, but I let her go! She didn't deserve that, I should have ended her! I let her go!"

"Then you did the right thing." Raph said quietly.

Mikey glared angrily at him. "She didn't deserve mercy. She wanted to kill you!" He argued.

Raphael sighed and shook his head. "You can't build up vendettas against everyone who wants to kill us, Mikey." He said softly, trying to get Mikey to see sense.

"The loss of an eye wasn't enough of a revenge for what she did, for the pain she caused us!" Mikey shouted.

Neon green eyes narrowed. The loss of an eye? He'd have to ask Leo about that later. Raph put both hands on his baby brother's shoulders. "Michelangelo, look at me." Mikey did.

"There's nothing you can say that will change my mind, Raph. I will take her down."

Raph shook his head. "No. Mikey please, I'm asking you to look into my eyes." Slowly, Mikey did as asked. Raph smiled and rubbed Mikey's head affectionately. His expression melted into one of pure seriousness. "Mikey, do you remember the time Spike was attacked by a baby alligator in the sewers?"

Mikey's eye-ridges furrowed. What did this have to do with-? "Yeah...well, I remember you saying something about it."

Raph smiled grimly as he told the story. "I was in the sewers skateboarding and I set Spike off to the side so he could watch me while he chewed on his leaf. I heard a weird noise and the next thing I knew, there was a little alligator snapping Spike up in its jaws. I was so angry. I hit it and hit it till it let Spike go. But that wasn't enough. It had hurt my best friend and I was so angry that I didn't stop to think about what I was doing. I took my sais and I stabbed it."

Mikey stared at his older sibling with wide, frightened eyes.

Raph looked away. "I stabbed it. Over and over and over. Until it wasn't moving any more. I killed it, Mikey. I killed it. It didn't know that Spike was my pet. It was just trying to survive. And I killed it. Because I thought it deserved it. I killed it and I meant to do it. I murdered it, Mikey. I took a life, little brother."

Mikey looked sympathetic for a few moments, but his face hardened and he glared at his older sibling. "Your point?"

Raph's hand tightened its grip on Mikey's shoulder. "The point is, little brother, killing it didn't make me feel any better. It only made it that much harder for me to live with myself." Raph fought in vain to blink away the tears in his eyes. They tumbled slowly down in his cheeks.

Baby-blue eyes were wide. He hadn't seen Raph cry in years. It had been so long that the sight seemed alien to him. Tears came to his own eyes as he slowly took his older brother's words to heart. He felt lost. He clung to Raph's shoulders. Right now Raphael was the only solid anchor he had.

Raph returned the hug, sniffling softly. "Mikey, I don't ever want you to go through that. Please, little brother, promise me you'll let go."

The youngest tucked his head under Raph's chin and whispered softly. "I promise, Raph. I promise."

Emerald green lips pulled up into an easy smile. "That's my little brother."

"I love you Raphie." Mikey whimpered.

Raph grinned and patted Mikey's shell. "If you tell anyone I said this, I'll beat the green off you, but...I love you too."

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Splinter grinned as Michelangelo bounded out of the lab with a bright and cheery smile. The dark anger that had been constantly lurking over the youngest for the past few weeks was gone. Splinter was relieved. He patted Michelangelo's shoulder and the young turtle beamed at him, pulling him into a full hug. "You can go in now, Sensei." Mikey mumbled against Splinter's robes.

The rat patted his youngest son's head and stepped back with a smile. "Thank you Michelangelo. I believe your brothers went to seek out Mona Lisa. They were last headed to the main room."

Mikey nodded and scurried off with a belated, "Thanks Sensei!"

Splinter rolled his eyes and shook his head. Kids. He turned to the lab and slowly slid the door opened. He was surprised to see Raphael sitting up, facing him. "Raphael!" In seconds he had crossed the room and yanked his child into a fierce embrace.

"Father." Raphael, too, sounded relieved.

The old rat smiled. Knowing Raphael, he had spent a lot of his energy comforting Mona Lisa and his brothers. "You are tired, my child. You should rest." Splinter pulled away, but Raphael grabbed his wrist. He blinked. For someone who'd just awoken from a long period of unconsciousness, Raphael's reaction time was shockingly quick.

"No. Stay for a bit." Raphael said softly.

Splinter smiled and impulsively lifted a hand to stroke the side of Raph's face. He had a seat on the table's edge by his son's legs. "Is there something you wanted to discuss with me?"

Raph nodded, resolutely. "Yes. I know that my...injuries must have been just as hard on you as they were on my brothers. I'm sorry I worried you, Father."

Master Splinter smiled as he stared at Raphael's grave expression. He put a hand on Raph's shoulder and looked down into his son's eyes. "I will always worry about you my son. I will not lie you to you, Raphael. When I first saw how badly you were hurt...I was terrified." There were tears in the old rat's eyes.

"Father..." Raph said, sounding stricken.

Splinter pulled Raphael into another embrace, rubbing the young turtle's head the way he used to when they were just little tots. "I am here, my son."

He lay Raphael back on the table and rubbed his son's plastron soothingly until the turtle fell into a peaceful slumber. Splinter smiled and stood. He bent down and kissed his son's forehead. "Rest well, my child. I love you so very much."

The old rat beamed on his way out when he heard the barely-audible reply: "I love you too, Dad."

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Well, how was it?