9. Dreams and Nightmares


The spring rains had settled into a rhythmic pulse, tapping softly against the windows of their modest home. It was the kind of quiet evening that invited introspection, when even the air seemed heavy with unspoken thoughts. Inside, Arati sat at the small wooden table, her notebook open in front of her. The soft glow of the kerosene lamp flickered in the dim room, casting long shadows against the walls. Her pen hovered over the paper, poised but motionless.

For days now, she hadn't been able to write. The thoughts that had once flowed freely from her mind to the page were now trapped, tangled in the confusion of her emotions. She had always found solace in words—stories that could escape into the world, finding their own place in the hearts of others. But something had shifted after the film Rishi had taken her to, Pather Panchali.

The experience had stirred something deep inside her, an awakening of sorts. She had been captivated by the world on the screen—the way the story unfolded in images, the way it captured life's complexities without a single word of explanation. It had shown her a new world, one where she could tell stories without relying on the written word alone. The idea of becoming part of that world had taken root in her heart, but now, like a seed buried deep in the soil, it was slowly beginning to push its way through her doubts and fears.

But how could she pursue this? How could she step beyond the walls of the world that had been built for her? And if she did, what would Rishi think? After all, it had only been six months since their marriage—barely enough time to know each other beyond the basics of daily life. Their relationship, though filled with warmth, was still young. They were still learning the rhythms of each other's presence.

She heard Rishi's footsteps in the hallway, his quiet approach a familiar comfort. He paused at the door, and though he didn't say anything, she felt his gaze on her, soft but probing. He had learned to read the smallest changes in her moods in these short months.

"Arati," he said, stepping into the room, his voice low but filled with concern, "You've been quiet these days. I haven't seen you write anything in a while."

Arati glanced up at him, her fingers still gripping the edge of the notebook, but she didn't speak. Instead, she offered him a smile that felt more like a reflex than genuine warmth.

"I've been thinking," she said, her voice trailing off, "Thinking about what I should do with everything inside me. But I'm... afraid."

"Afraid?" Rishi sat beside her, his brow furrowed in concern, "Afraid of what, Arati?"

She closed the notebook and placed it on the table, her fingers lingering over the worn leather cover. 

"Afraid of wanting too much. Afraid of wanting something that seems... impossible."

He leaned closer, his hand resting gently on hers. 

"Tell me," he urged, "What do you want?"

Arati hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to speak the words that had been sitting on the edge of her tongue for weeks. But something about Rishi's presence—his unwavering patience, his gentle insistence—made her feel safe. She drew a shaky breath and spoke.

"I want to tell stories" she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper, "I want to create worlds, capture moments, the way I saw in the film we watched together. I don't just want to write anymore. I want to bring life to stories, the way they did. I want to... I want to make films."

Rishi was quiet for a long moment, his eyes searching her face, as though he were trying to understand the weight of what she had said. It wasn't just a passing whim—it was a dream. But one that felt so distant, so foreign, to the life they had begun to build together.

"Films?" he repeated, his voice soft with surprise, "You want to make films?"

"Yes," she said, her voice trembling with the strength of her own desire, "Not just write them, Rishi. I want to direct. I want to shape the stories, the way they were shaped in Pather Panchali. I want to tell stories that are real—stories that can change the way people see the world."

Rishi's gaze softened as he took in her words. He had noticed the way she had been entranced by the film, how her eyes had sparkled when the credits rolled, how she had spoken of the director with such reverence. But hearing her speak of her own desire to create, to move beyond the world of words to the world of images and sound, felt like a revelation.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?", he asked, his voice a mix of surprise and tenderness.

Arati lowered her eyes, the vulnerability in her admission heavy in the air between them. 

"I didn't think I could," she said softly, "I didn't think anyone would take me seriously. A woman? A wife? What would people say? I'm supposed to be... here. In this house. Writing my stories in private. Not out there, chasing something that feels impossible."

Rishi squeezed her hand, his grip warm and firm. "

Arati, I believe you can do this. You have a gift—something rare. And if this is what you want, then I will help you."

Her eyes met his, filled with both hope and fear. 

"But how? The world isn't kind to women who want to do things like this. It's a man's world out there, especially in something like film. It's not a place for someone like me."

"I don't care what the world thinks," he said quietly, "I care about you. If you want to do this, we'll find a way. But it won't be easy, Arati. You'll have to fight, and there will be people who don't understand. Your parents, my parents... they'll try to pull you back. You'll face more obstacles than you can imagine."

Arati felt a wave of both relief and anxiety. On one hand, Rishi's words were like a lifeline. But on the other, she couldn't ignore the reality of what he was saying. She had seen the way society reacted to women who strayed from the prescribed path. Her own mother, who believed that a woman's worth was measured by her domesticity. Her father, who would never understand a woman leaving the house to pursue a career, let alone one in film.

"But we will face it together, Arati," Rishi continued, his voice steady, "I will talk to my family. I will talk to yours. And we will make this happen. I will help you find a way. If you want this, then I'll make sure you can have it."

Tears welled up in her eyes, but this time, they were tears of gratitude, not fear. For the first time in days, the weight pressing down on her seemed to lift, if only a little. She had a partner, someone who believed in her when even she hadn't been sure of herself.

"I don't know where to start," she said, her voice trembling, "I don't even know if it's possible."

Rishi smiled, his gaze steady, "The first step is always the hardest. But we'll take it one day at a time. Don't worry about the future, Arati. Just focus on what you want, and we'll figure out the rest."

The path ahead would not be easy. It would require conversations with their families, convincing them that her aspirations were not some fleeting fancy but a deep-seated need to create, to express, to contribute to the world in a way few others could. There would be late nights spent studying, letters to film schools, and the constant, nagging feeling that the world was not ready for what she wanted to do. But with Rishi's unwavering support, Arati felt a glimmer of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, it was worth fighting for.

And so, with that promise in her heart, she closed the notebook she had been struggling with for days. But this time, she didn't close it in defeat. She closed it in determination—because for the first time, she believed that her dreams might not be as impossible as they once seemed.


The soft hum of the untimely rains outside seemed to intensify the stillness within the room. Arati had sat in the same spot for over an hour, staring at the blank page before her, the ink from her pen drying on the edge of her fingers. Rishi had come in with a quiet step, observing her from the doorway without interrupting.

He had seen it—the unease, the tension, the growing desire in her eyes every time they spoke of the films, of her dreams. It was clear now that she wasn't just fascinated by the art of storytelling through cinema. She was desperate to become a part of it. But, like all dreams, it was not an easy thing to nurture in a world that demanded conformity, especially for a woman.

Rishi had promised to help her, but he also understood the weight of what he was asking. For Arati to pursue her passion, they would both have to break free of the invisible chains that held them to the expectations of family, society, and tradition. It was a battle that they had to face together, but it was one that would require more than just good intentions.

"Arati," he spoke gently, his voice barely above a whisper, "What's stopping you?"

She looked up at him, startled by the question. Her eyes seemed distant, as if lost in the space between desire and reality. She closed the notebook with a sigh, her hands folded in her lap as though the weight of her thoughts had become too much to bear.

"I don't know, Rishi," she admitted, her voice soft, "I think about it all the time—the films, the stories, the life I could build. But it feels like a dream that's just... out of reach. It feels impossible."

"Impossible?" Rishi asked, his brow furrowed in confusion, "But why?"

Her fingers moved nervously over the edges of the book, the fabric of her sari shifting as she adjusted her position. 

"Because I'm a wife. You know how it is. My family will laugh at mei. They'll think I'm being foolish. And yours—your parents—they won't approve of it either. They believe I'm supposed to tend to you, to the house. That's all."

She paused, her gaze dropping to the floor, "And what will people think of us? A newly married woman, wanting to be... something more than just a wife?"

Rishi moved closer, sitting next to her, his voice steady with quiet resolve, "So, we fight them. We fight those expectations, Arati. We fight for your dream, and we do it together. We face them one by one. You think I don't know what my family will say? You think it will be easy for me to convince them? It won't be, but I will. I promise you that."

Arati met his gaze, her heart fluttering in her chest at his words, but she was still unsure, "You don't understand. It's not just about convincing them. It's about how I see myself. What if I fail? What if I disappoint you, or my family, or... or everyone?"

Rishi placed a hand on hers, his touch warm and firm. 

"Arati, it's not about succeeding or failing. It's about doing. If you don't take that first step, you'll never know. And I won't let you be afraid of trying. I believe in you, even if no one else does."

A silence settled between them, thick with the weight of unspoken fears. Arati's heart twisted with both fear and longing, a quiet hunger that had been simmering inside her for months.

Rishi leaned back slightly, his mind turning over the possibilities. He had been thinking about this for some time now—how to help her take that first step, how to make her see that this was not a mere fancy, but a deep, intrinsic part of who she was.

"You start with your writing," he said, his voice steady, "You've always been a writer, Arati. Write the stories you want to see on screen. Tell the world the stories you've been carrying inside you. You have the words, the insight. People will listen to you."

Arati frowned, the doubts creeping back in,

 "But writing is just one part of it. You know that. Film is a different language entirely. A whole different world."

Rishi smiled softly, taking her hand in his. 

"Then we'll find that world together. You and I. We'll figure it out. I'll help you. I'll find a way to get you the books, the resources, the people who can teach you. But it will take time, Arati. It won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. But you have to believe that you can. I do."

The words hit her harder than she expected. The raw honesty of his conviction made her pulse quicken. In this moment, she could feel the weight of her own desires, her own ambitions pressing against the fabric of her world. She could feel the tide rising, threatening to push her beyond the confines of what she had always known.

 "I'm afraid of what it will cost. What if I lose everything in the process?",  she said, her voice trembling.

Rishi squeezed her hand gently, his expression softening. 

"Then we'll lose it together, Arati. But we won't lose your dream. And we won't lose each other."

"I'll try," she said, her voice a whisper, but the words held a new weight, a new determination. "I'll write, and we'll see what happens."

The decision was made. But Arati knew that this was only the beginning. The road would be long, and full of obstacles that neither of them could yet see. But for the first time since her marriage, since that night they had watched the film together, Arati felt a sense of purpose stirring in her. It was small, but it was there.

And as Rishi looked at her, his hand still resting gently on her shoulder, he knew that their lives were about to change in ways neither of them could predict.

The coming weeks were a delicate dance. Arati began to write more fervently, but her mind often strayed back to the same question—What now? It was one thing to write in the safety of her home, in the quiet privacy of her room, but quite another to see her words take shape in the world.

Rishi, too, began laying the groundwork for their fight. He would find the connections—teachers, film enthusiasts, and writers—who could help Arati understand the mechanics of filmmaking. But the task of broaching the subject with their families loomed large over them both.

And then there was the ever-present question: What if they fail?

But Rishi had already promised Arati something that would echo in her mind for the rest of their journey: "We will do this together."

As the rains continued to fall outside, Arati's pen continued to dance across the pages. One word. One story. One dream at a time

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