"Why is there no Internet in here?" the younger skeleton asked, raising a browbone as they turned to look at the older one.

"There is, in the technology tent," the older answered with a shrug. "Why would you even need it? Mother didn't allow it here, so why would we?" he asked, examining the old Ringmaster's hat on his hands.

"I bet the new performers would like to have Internet access to keep in contact with their friends and families," the younger suggested, fidgeting within a ring in his right index finger.

"They can survive without it," the older shrugged, carelessly. "The only people here with Internet access will be us and the staff member who's in charge of the technology stuff. That's how it has always been and that's how it will be," he continued, ignoring the younger's whine and frown.

"Well... I might have the right person for that job. In the war I volunteered in there was a man really good with everything related to technology," the younger told.

"If you think so," the older hummed, shifting his attention to the contract prototype on the table. The younger followed his gaze and frowned.

"Is that really necessary? We don't have to be so harsh towards the new performers! This place is supposed to be fun! They don't deserve that many rules and stupid punishments.." they mumbled, looking uncertain.

"Mother didn't have enough rules for her performers, and look at what that led to!" he pointed towards the young skeleton sleeping peacefully on the bed.

"I... I don't quite understand what he has to do with all this.." they admitted, shifting their attention to the young one as well.

"Oh, right! I forgot! The performers actually liked you! Of course they didn't rape you or beat you up! How stupid of me to forget about that!"

The horror on their face was obvious. He scoffed, rolling his eye lights. "Do you really think that I would have wanted him? Especially at the age of 17?" he asked coldly.

"I.. I'm so sorry.. I didn't.. I didn't realise you.. Oh my stars.. I'm so sorry.." Tears glistened in their eye sockets.

"You left when I needed you the most. That day you weren't the only one who had something to reveal. You were the only one who I could trust, and yet you abandoned me. You will never be able to understand everything I had to go through just because you were selfish! So if you decide to blame me for Mother's death, take into account how badly she treated me after you left." His voice cut through the tent as sharp as a knife, leaving them unable to even begin to say something in response. The tears of horror and sadness filled their eye sockets. They looked like they were about to vomit.

"I can't believe you're this oblivious. I told you he was seven, did you really not pay any attention to it? We're the same age after all," he pointed out, ignoring all their apologies. "If there are no rules and punishments to keep the performers under control, they will do as they please," he continued, turning his back on them.

"But–" they started, but immediately shut their teeth, unable to answer. They turned to look at the young boy and then back at him, unable to find any words. "I'm so sorry.." they choked out.

"If you're done trying to feel pity for me, go and contact that technology person you mentioned. We have to start looking for staff as quickly as possible," he said, focusing on the documents on the table instead of facing them again.

"But what's going to happen to Dusk then..? Will he be able to survive with all these harsh rules..?" they asked, worried for the young skeleton.

"He's weak, he most likely won't make it. If he dies, he dies," he answered, keeping his tone as cold as possible, just barely managing to keep his voice from cracking. "Don't yell at me, just go. Things are about to change around here. The weak ones won't make it, so quit being so emotional or you'll be the one who walks with him through the gates of hell."

-----

     "Oh, Killer! I didn't know you were still here!" Ccino seemed surprised to see the knife thrower still sitting on a stall by the counter. "The curfew passed five minutes ago. You must be staying then," he hummed to himself and pulled out an extra cup.

"What's it this time?" he asked, sympathy clear in his voice.

"Swad is 'ere again... Ain't a huge fan of him.." Killer groaned, leaning against his hands. "He's a real creep, doncha know?"

"He's not the reason why you're here." Ccino knew better. He knew that there was something bothering the knife thrower and it was not the parasite that happened to be the Ringmaster's cousin.

"Dust hates me.. I never wanted him to hate me.. But it's clear that he now does.." Killer answered quietly. He looked down, a look so broken on his face that it made Ccino's SOUL ache.

"I'm sorry.." he whispered. "May I ask what happened between you two? I've never seen you as friends, but I know that there's something deeper between you. What did you do to get him to hate you?"

Killer chuckled dryly. He sounded pitiful, even in his own opinion, when he opened his mouth and spoke: "Dusty and I do go way back, but what we had was complicated. Well, once we were in love, but that love died as fast as it had bloomed when the Ringmaster killed our flower. We both fell back into our own lives and found new partners. Too bad for Dusty that the one he found is the same one I've been fuck buddies with ever since the beginnin'. He understands what we have, but lately has been blamin' me for makin' his partner ignore him.. Damn, I'm really becomin' a mess, ain't I.?"

"I didn't exactly understand what you meant, but do you think that it's a good idea to continue being fuck buddies with someone who has a boyfriend?" Ccino pointed out, furrowing his browbones.

Killer shook his skull, "It ain't that easy.."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Ccino asked carefully.

"Ever since my previous lover passed he's been my only comfort. If I leave him, I have no one else left," the knife thrower laughed to himself, looking down.

Ccino frowned, "So, you're basically just using him for your own needs and comfort.?" he asked, a bit unsure.

"Maybe..." Killer mumbled shamefully, his cheekbones were turning red. "But it's the same way for both of us.!" he tried to assure Ccino, and himself as well, yet his voice was hesitant. He didn't actually know what the truth was.

"If you want to fix your relationship with Dust, maybe you should leave his partner alone and go find yourself a new way to cope, something that maybe doesn't involve fucking," Ccino suggested carefully after a few seconds of thinking. Then his cheekbones coloured a bit as he continued: "Or then you could try finding someone else.."

Killer blinked a few times, surprised, but then a grin spread on his teeth. His fingers slipped under Ccino's chin, lifting the barista's head up. Ccino's breath hitched at the sudden contact, his cheeks dusting pink.

"Are you sayin' all this to get in my trousers?" Killer inquired, tipping his skull. "Don't think that I ain't seen the way you look at me sometimes," he added, whispering straight into Ccino's ear.

"I–" Ccino tried to come up with an excuse, but ended up just looking away, shame coating his blushing face. He wasn't quite ready to admit his crush on the knife thrower before him.

"Then why doncha tell me what you want?" Killer suggested, staring at the barista into the eyes before leaning closer to close the gap between their teeth.

-----

     Chara stared at the band-aid on their wrist. They still couldn't believe the fact that Asy had actually offered to be their friend. They liked Asy, he was different from everyone else. He helped them forget about all horrors of the circus even for a short while.

And now they were standing in front of his tent. They had had quite an interesting day and wanted to share their experiences with someone, yet they couldn't bring themselves to ring the bell.

They stood by the flap, nervous. They had planned out what they wanted to say and how, but something in their brain told them that it wasn't a good enough reason to go bother their new friend. What if he didn't want to hear it? What if he didn't find it as exciting as they did? What if that would just annoy him? What if he didn't want to be their friend anymore?

They had talked to him the other day though. What if they were coming back too soon and it would annoy him? Maybe they should just wait at least one more day before going to speak their heart out to him again. Maybe then he wouldn't mind their pointless rambling about the most useless things.

But they kinda wanted to talk to someone right now, and they didn't really have any other options. They raised their hand towards the bell, but immediately pulled it back, hesitating. Maybe they should consider it once more.

Chara bit their lip. They were getting really anxious. There were so many things that could go wrong if they went and started a conversation with him now. And what if he was busy doing something else? Then they would definitely be a burden with their useless bullshit.

He didn't deserve to be annoyed by them. Slowly they backed away from the tent, trying to decide if going to bother him would be worth it. Did they really want to take that risk? They didn't want to annoy him.

They would gladly listen to his rambling for hours. It always made them happy when he wanted to speak with them, but yet they were afraid that he didn't find their rambling as enjoyable. They would just embarrass themselves by getting distracted by something and then rambling about something so useless he could never even care about. Then he would definitely find them annoying. He would end up hating them and then they would be left with no one to speak to, again.

They turned away from the tent, walking away. They would come back tomorrow. Then it wouldn't be so soon after the previous conversation. He could get a few days long break from them, that's what he deserved. They shouldn't be talking to him too often, that would make them too much of a burden and they didn't want that.

As they walked away from the tent, they were disappointed in themselves. They were disappointed that they couldn't even go start a simple conversation with someone when they really wanted to. (But at the same time they knew that the conversation wouldn't have been worth his time. They would have talked too much about things related to themselves, and nobody wanted to hear that.)

They stopped by their own tent, looking back at his. They thought about it once more. Would it be worth it? Would a conversation about something that they found worth sharing be something that would actually interest him as well? The answer was absolutely not. They had to stop being so annoying to everyone they spoke to. They could just go to their tent and do something by themselves. They didn't need to go bother someone else for no good reason. If they wanted to speak with him, they would need something better to talk about. And maybe they should wait for like a week before going back to speak with him. They could use a break from them. They felt bad for him for having to listen to their useless conversation topics. Just because they find them exciting and want to share them with someone doesn't mean that he wants to hear them.

And with that Chara opened the flap to their tent, deciding that Asy would be better off without having to listen to their bullshit, again. (And they knew this wouldn't be the only time this would happen.)

Words: 2070

[29.5.2023]

It's allergy season and I've forgotten how it feels to be able to breath.

Well, this was a roller-coaster. All the parts were actually written separately, so that's why they might not come together as well.

The messiest out of them is Chara's one. That's basically me every time I try to message to someone. I wanted to try writing something that I'm actually really familiar with. I'm the kind of person who loves to ramble about things that I find interesting, which can include stuff like Phasmophobia, Overwatch, Undertale, other games or just whatever random bullshit I've found. I like messaging people, but it always makes me anxious and sometimes I can literally avoid it for weeks just because I don't want to be a burden.

Multiple times I have spent like 40 minutes trying to figure out if I should go message someone, only to come to the conclusion that my conversion topic isn't good enough–

I'm so sorry for wasting your time with my rambling. I have a feeling that I proved my entire point with that– Sorry, I just kinda wanted to voice my thoughts for someone.

Anyways, I have two more days of school left. Summer holiday starts this Friday. My school motivation has disappeared a few weeks ago already–