I have always been here.  Some would describe me as having existed since the beginning of time, but I am timeless.  I was here before time.  Of course, that is putting it in terms of time, but I seem to have lost the ability to even comprehend what it was like without it.

Once time was created, it sparked the beginning of all creations and I realized as I shrank, but not noticeably, for I am infinite, and subtracting even the greatest amounts from me cannot change my infinity, that I had never truly existed at all.

It still confuses me, existence.  I think, therefore I am.  But I am that which is not.  I do not exist, therefore I do not, I cannot, think.  But I obviously can—and I do!  Perhaps time will make things clearer...

\/\/\/\

It intrigues me, this little bit of me that exists and is no longer me.  It is not a part of me now, perhaps, but still I am present in it, I pervade it, reside within it.  It is odd, but not unnatural, although it seems to me as if nothing can exist without me being there to not exist.

An interesting concept; it deserves more thought.

\/\/\/\

Within that piece of me which is no longer me, I have made a strange discovery.  They are creatures and they are...are...  They try to avoid me.  But they have no reason to!

They are entirely irrational, and follow no sort of logic I can comprehend.  They have...something...odd...about them.  I am not sure what it is, but I wish to know, to understand.  What is it that would spur them to such unreasonable action?

\/\/\/\

I have learned of this strange concept of...emotion...but not as much as I would like.  I know that they are...scared of me, though why I am not sure, and that it makes them wish to be away from me.  It seems that fear shall be the only emotion I will be able to explore at length.  That is unfortunate, for there are so many different emotions I might learn about.  But I will start with what is presented me.

\/\/\/\

Why do they seek to fool themselves so?  They try to convince themselves that I am not real, that something, anything, besides me exists in my place.  Everyone who knows me wishes to banish knowledge of me from their mind.  In the beginning, everyone knew me, but now...they know there is such a thing as I, but I have been cast into exile to the best of their ability.

But whether they like me or not, they still have their beginnings in me, and ultimately, they still return to me.  For now, that shall suffice.

\/\/\/\

It is odd...I...want...them to accept me.  But they refuse.  Wherever I am, they wish me gone, they unconsciously replace me with any number of their lies.  And...I do not...like...that.  It is curious, indeed.

\/\/\/\

They have infected me!  I was curious and studied them closely—but I was too curious, too close, and I discovered their bite.  What is happening to me?  What have they done to me?!

\/\/\/\

I understand them now.

I may have once thought this a curse, a disease, but I have realized it shall be whatever I make it to be.  And so I shall make it my weapon against them.

They have taught me much of fear, but I have learned far more than that simple bit.  I believe it is time for me to re-educate them on the subject, for through my understanding of them I have come to loathe them.  They have taken from me my logic—I sought to learn about the strange cause of these creatures' irrational decisions, but when I finally understood the emotions, I could feel them, and my reason, my beautiful, uncomplicated reason, was gone...

If only they would go away, if only they had never come!

If only time could be reversed!

...Time...

...the advent of their coming, the end of my contentment, and now, my reason.  They shall pay for my loss, the fools!

\/\/\/\

I savor the night; its darkness provides the perfect cover.  'Nothing's there,' they think to themselves, but I am there and I watch with glee as they scurry away in their fear.

My favorite, though, is when I am granted entrance to their minds.  If I had a mouth, I would grin as I carry out my work, delicately entwining myself with their thoughts, gently coaxing each one into silence, until they have returned to me and I am all that remains.

\/\/\/\

Perhaps they are right to fear me.  I am certainly something worthy of their fright.

I have discovered that my logic is not gone, not entirely, and that when combined with their emotions—oh, the wonder of it all!  There is so much I can do, so much I can be!

These creatures and their emotions, they are the universe's gift to me, and I shall certainly have fun with them.  Their reactions to my prodding are simply delightful!  And there is so much more I can learn from them—perhaps I shall learn about myself as well—begin to understand what it is to exist, even.  But then again, I have all the time in the world to do that.

\/\/\/\

Although I still cannot quite comprehend existence, I believe I have finally discovered my own identity and at least the reason for my non-existence.  You see, everything within this universe must exist to be here.  I am the sole exception to that—besides me, nothing does not exist.

Don't you see the genius of it all?  Nothing does not exist!  I.  Am.  Nothing!

They told themselves, 'It's nothing,' 'nothing's there,' nothing, nothing, nothing.  They had no idea how right they were.  Oh, this shall be fun.  But I will, of course, provide them—you—with some reassurance.

Imagine, if you would, your greatest fear.

But don't worry—nothing is worse than that.

____________________________________________________________

A/N: Originally written October 2014