They stopped by the stables to pick up Rothchild and Briawny's horse Finnegrine.

"These two don't have horses," Briawny observed. "They're going to slow us down."

"Well, it seems to me there's plenty of room for two each to ride on the horses," Sir Mikael said. "You chaps want to hop onto the back?"

"Hold on," Briawny said. "The ugly smelly one ain't riding on my Finnegrine or getting his paws all over me. Kid, you can hitch a ride if you'd like."

"Sounds great," Brandon said. "My feet are tired anyway from all this walking."

"Looks like you're riding with me," Sir Mikael said to Fabian. Rothchild looked at Fabian and huffed loudly through his nostrils. "Don't worry, Rothchild will let you on as long as I say it's okay. You'd better wrap your arms tightly around my waist so you don't fall though."

Not wanting to be left behind Fabian got on to the horse behind Sir Mikael. Briawny let out a holler and both horses took off at a good trot.

"This is utterly humiliating," Fabian grumbled as he held on to the paladin for dear life. "Why do I have to sit in the bitch seat? I'll take the reins and you sit back here."

"Oh ho, there's that keen sense of humor at play again," Sir Mikael said. "I highly doubt you've gone through the hundreds of hours of training necessary to control a beast as powerful and intelligent as Rothchild here. You'd most likely fall and break your neck. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. We shall make good time now that we are all on horseback."

"Is there any way to make this thing not bounce so much?" Fabian asked. "I'm getting tossed around like a dwarf at a dance competition."

"You'll get used to it after awhile," Sir Mikael said. "Why don't you enliven our journey in the meantime with one of these tales of your adventures you've been wanting to regale us with for quite some time now."

"I would like to do that very much, but I think I'm getting a little motion sick here."

Sir Mikaeal laughed heartily. "If you're going to regurgitate your breakfast, please point your face to the side. I have no wish to clean up vomit from my back."

Fabian would have happily thrown up all over the annoying paladin, if it weren't for the fact that he was likely to get it all over himself as well in the process. Even so, when the inevitable need to barf came, he still managed to get most of it on his own boots as he leaned to the side.

"There you go," Sir Mikael said. "Now you've been officially broken in. We'll make a proper horseman out of you yet."

Briawny was in the lead and she began to veer off sharply to the left.

"Where are you going?" Sir Mikael called out. "The land of Gronk lies due south of here."

"I know a shortcut," Briawny called back. "I would follow me if I were you, but if you want to keep going the way you're going you can meet me at the wizard's tower a couple days after I've already rescued the princess."

"Well, if you're sure about this," Sir Mikaeal said. "It's always nice to cut some miles off a long journey."

"Now we're really screwed," Fabian said. "Don't you know you never let chicks take the lead? They suck at directions. This lady is going to get us hopelessly lost."

"Looks like she knows what she's doing to me," Sir Mikael said as she led them straight to a hidden pass in what appeared to be a solid rock wall. "I would have never known this was here in a million years. Good show, Briawny."

They were moving single-file through a narrow trail with high rock walls on either side.

"This is the perfect spot for an ambush," Fabian said. "I'm one hundred percent confident a horde of goblins is camped out overhead and will completely massacre us in a few minutes. You see what following this lady did? She's going to get us all killed!"

Less than half an hour later they emerged from the pass completely unharmed.

"All right, well she got lucky that time. The goblins must have been sleeping on the job. That place was a death trap for sure. Well, there's no doubt we're going to be led into crushing imminent danger. Heed my words."

The rest of the day passed with no incident whatsoever, and as night fell Briawny called a halt next to a small freshwater stream that had escaped the wizard's quest to transform all bodies of water into tar.

Sir Mikael quickly managed to snare a couple of rabbits and Brandon had a campfire going while Briawny watered the horses in the stream. Fabian leaned against a tree and began massaging his sore ass.

"All right," Briawny said as she finished the last of her supper. "We'll split the watch into four equal shifts and head out in the morning at first light. Ugly man, I'm afraid I don't remember your name, you can take first watch."

"Excuse me," Fabian said as he licked the last bit of grease off his fingers. "I'm the leader of this expedition and I don't take orders from the likes of you. I also don't do watch, so I'll tell you what, you can split it into three equal shifts, I'm going to sleep for as long as I feel like and we'll hit the road in the morning when I say so."

"Take the first watch, mate," Briawny said with an icy tone. "I'm not going to ask you again."

"Fine, I'll take the first watch," Fabian said. "But it's because I want to, not because you told me to. Because believe me, if I didn't want to, you can bet your ass I wouldn't be. Speaking of asses, my ass is sore as hell. I wish Derek were still here so he could heal it for me."

"Who's Derek?" Briawny asked. "Your lover?"

"Oh no," Sir Mikael said. "Fabian is referring to our dear departed comrade Derek the cleric, a great hero whose exploits I have vowed to spread word of far and wide." He then proceeded to repeat the entire excruciatingly boring story he had told to the king.

Fabian could barely keep his eyes open and possibly nodded off for a bit before the paladin's story came to a conclusion. He snapped back awake once Sir Mikael was finished.

"Well, he just spoke for like three hours," Fabian said. "I'm pretty sure that covers my portion of the watch. Not my fault you guys decided to stay up and tell boring stories while I kept a lookout for danger, but the point is I did my fair share and now I'll be going to sleep. See you all in the morning."

"That was merely some after dinner comradery," Briawny said. "Your watch begins now. Wake me when the moon is directly over that hill in the distance and I'll relieve you."

"That's exactly what I was about to say," Fabian said. "A good follower knows how to anticipate her leader's requests. I think you're going to make a fine addition to our crew, young lady."

Briawny glared at him with one eye as she laid down near the campfire. After a moment she closed it and began snoring softly. Nearby Brandon and Sir Mikael had already fallen asleep.

"Hey, Scrote," Fabian whispered. There was no response so Fabian began shaking him. "Want to stay up and keep me company on my watch? And then if I get tired you can take my watch for me?"

"I'm sorry sir," Brandon mumbled. "I'm really sleepy and I need to rest up for when it's my turn to take watch. Plus, Ms. Briawny said you had to take your turn and in all honesty I'm a little bit scared of her."

"You're scared of a girl, Scrote? Jeez, man. We need to toughen you up. You know what's good for that? Taking extra shifts on watch."

"That sounds like a fine plan, sir. Just let me get five more minutes." He immediately began snoring again.

"Scrote!" Fabian shook him vigorously, but Brandon was out cold. "Damn it. How long is it before the damn moon is over that damn hill? I need to take a major leak. I suppose I could piss on Briawny. It would be funny and she totally deserves it, but the truth is I'm a little bit scared of her, too. Nah, I guess I'd better head off into the brush a little ways to take care of business. I'm sure they'll be okay on their own for a few minutes while I drain the main vein."

It took him a little while to find a bush he deemed worthy of getting watered by the legendary Fabian and he had managed to walk a decent distance away from the campsite. After he emptied his bladder and buttoned his pants back up he came to the sudden realization he wasn't entirely sure where the campsite was.

"Uh oh. Where's that stupid hill the moon's supposed to rise over? There's a lot of hills off in the distance. This isn't helpful at all. Well, let's see. I'm pretty sure the moon was off to my right as I walked out here, so if I keep it to my left I should be headed in the right direction, yes? I just hope I get back in time so I'm not awake longer than my fair share of the watch." He took three steps and immediately fell into a deep ditch.