"How much loot did you score?" Druvidia asked as she suddenly materialized in front of Fabian.

"None of your business, tree wench," Fabian said with a scowl.

"Ah, but it is my business. The whole reason I came along was to ensure that you did not screw over young Brandon."

"You mean Scrote? Don't worry, he'll get his fair share. If we can find him, that is. It's a mighty big enchanted forest he's somewhere in the middle of."

"Don't worry, I know exactly where he is. I'm still deeply tied to the forest after all. I can lead us straight to him. And he'd better get his fair share."

"Or you'll do what? You're not even in physical form. You can't do anything to me."

"I believe I can still access some of my magical abilities," she said. "I wouldn't mind practicing on you."

"Yeah, let's not do that," Fabian said hastily. "Say, if your sacred ties to the forest can tell you exactly where Scrote is, can't you find the cat as well? I mean it would save us a heck of a lot of time and trouble if you could just lead me straight there. You could take me to the cat first actually. Then, if we have time, we'll swing by and pick up Scrote. Otherwise we can just leave him out there. It's pretty much the same difference to me either way."

"I do not know the location of the cat because I have not formed a personal bond with it as I have with young Brandon."

"In other words you're useless," Fabian rolled his eyes.

He paused to glance at a poster that had been plastered onto a wall. It showed a sketch of a young boy. Fabian didn't want to bother with reading all the fine print but he did notice the two especially large words that said "Missing" and "Reward."

"Doesn't that drawing look remarkably like Scrote? Didn't he mention something about having a father or some other sort of guardian type figure? I wonder how large of a reward we're talking about here. Maybe I can forget about the cat and just bring Scrote in for some cold hard cash."

"We shall return the boy to his home after he receives his just rewards," Druvidia said. "And if he wishes to complete his quest to recover the missing feline, we shall allow him to do so."

"All right, all right, fine. Just take me to him so we can get on with this. And by the way, it's my quest. Not his. He's merely my lackey. His task is to obey my every whim."

"Yes, let's depart immediately. I do not enjoy the city. It's crowded and smells like bodily functions. I long to return to the sanctity of my forest."

"Well, I don't feel like walking any further than I have to. Let's find a wagon that's heading out of town and hitch a ride."

After making a few inquiries he found a merchant who was going to be heading to another town across the enchanted forest. He said he would allow Fabian to hitch a ride for a modest fee. Fabian declined and then snuck onto the back of the wagon when the merchant wasn't looking and hid underneath a blanket. It was a bumpy ride, but it beat the heck out of walking.

After a little while Druvidia materialized next to Fabian. "We are not far from Brandon's location. It is time to exit this mode of transportation."

Fabian peeked out from under the blanket. He could see they were on a narrow trail with thick growths of trees on either side. "Which way?"

"To the right. The merchant's attention is on the road ahead. He will not see you, but you must jump now."

"You don't have to tell me twice, lady," Fabian said as he leaped into the woods. He hit the ground and rolled several times before landing on his feet with a flourish. "That was a pretty agile landing if I do say so myself. Too bad nobody was around to see it."

A loud snarling sound came from behind him. He looked around and realized he had landed smack in the middle of a band of orcs, all of whom had their weapons drawn and pointed at him.

"You did this on purpose," he shouted at Druvidia. "We could have waited a couple more minutes before we abandoned the wagon, but no, you said I had to jump right now. Right into a pack of bloodthirsty orcs."

"I told you I don't know where every creature who resides in my forest is. Just the ones I have made personal bonds with. I had no idea these orcs were here. Luckily you're a great warrior and should easily be able to defeat them in combat. There are only, what, twenty of them? Maybe thirty?"

"You know what I'm even better at than fighting?" Fabian asked. "Escaping." He jumped straight up and grabbed hold of a tree branch just as the nearest orc was swinging its sword at him. He swung himself out of the way and leaped to an adjacent tree, shimmying his way up the trunk. "Fortunately orcs are notoriously terrible at tree climbing. I should be safe here for the time being."

"It would appear one of the orcs has an axe," Druvidia noted.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, you ugly pig-faced monster?" Fabian shouted at the orc.

"It looks like he's attempting to chop down the tree you're sitting in."

"Aren't you supposed to be some great protector of trees or something?" Fabian asked. "Are you just going to sit here and let him cut down one of your tree brethren?"

"I have no physical form, as you were so astute to point out earlier."

"So why don't you practice that magic you were threatening me with? Specifically on those orcs. You think you could conjure up a big fireball or something?"

"That is not the sort of magic I practice," Druvidia said. "Perhaps I can summon a forest creature to bring us aid." She closed her eyes and muttered an incantation.

A moment later a large grizzly bear came crashing through the foliage and ripped an orc to shreds with its claws.

The other orcs made a feeble attempt to bring it down with their weapons, but soon gave up and fled in terror after the bear had made a meal of a few of them.

"That seems to have done the trick!" Fabian shouted. "I guess you're not completely useless after all."

The bear started sniffing the air and then turned its attention to the tree Fabian was sitting in. It let out a loud growl and then began climbing the tree.

"Um, you want to call off your killer bear now? The orcs have been vanquished."

"I only possess the power to summon them, not send them away," Druvidia said with a shrug. "You're on your own."

"Are orcs not filling or something?" Fabian grumbled. "You're going to make yourself fat if you don't stop overeating, bear."

The bear growled again as it pulled itself further up the tree.

"I'm just saying you're going to be sorry when you develop diabetes," Fabian said as he attempted to make his way to a higher branch. The bear continued to claw its way up the tree as long strings of drool dripped from its giant mouth.

Fabian was quickly running out of tree to climb and the bear kept on coming. He soon concluded he didn't have any other choice but to jump.

His landing was much less smooth this time as he managed to twist his ankle awkwardly and then fell on his stomach.

The bear seemed to be confused by the sudden disappearance of its next morsel and kept climbing the tree. Fabian used the opportunity to hurry off into the woods as quickly as his sore ankle would let him.

He hadn't gone very far before he tripped over the body of one of the orcs the bear had killed and managed to twist his other ankle in the process. He rolled around on the ground in pain and tried not to curse out loud, lest he should attract the attention of the bear.

He heard a loud thud behind him that seemed to signal that the bear had descended from the tree. He tried to pull himself to his feet but winced with the pain and laid back down next to the dead orc.

A flash of inspiration came to him as he heard heavy footsteps heading in his direction. Maybe if he covered himself in the orc's blood and played dead the bear would think it had already killed him and leave him alone. Not seeing any other choice he plunged his hands into the corpse and smeared himself all over with thick black gore. The smell was abominable and it took everything in him not to retch as he laid as still as he could.

The bear came up to him and shoved its muzzle directly in his face. It sniffed him a few times and then batted at him with its paws. After several interminable minutes, it finally lost interest and wandered off into the woods.

Fabian let out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding and then threw up profusely in the grass.

"Well, all's well that ends well, eh, old chap?" Druvidia said as she materialized next to him.

"Do me a favor and don't help next time. I'll just run away from the orcs. I'm a pretty fast runner and I'm sneaky, too. I bet I could give them the slip."

"Shall we find another band of orcs and put that proposition to the test?" Druvidia asked.

"No we shall not," Fabian said. "Take me to Scrote. We must return to my main quest of finding the rich lady's kitty cat. I've been distracted by unrelated nonsense for much too long. I will not rest until my task is complete."

"Uh, not to distract you from your important mission, but were you aware that you're laying in a sizeable patch of sleep clovers?"

"What the hell are sleep clo-" Fabian was unable to finish his sentence before he began snoring loudly.