A.N: the photo is the initial sketch of a commission by Saidywolf from deviantart, it's of my OC Nikolai (right) and Luna (left), you'll learn all about Luna in my planned sequel for this book

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The water rippled with gentle splashes as Shadow and Sky played in the river, meanwhile on the riverbank Nikolai and Halone watched, the golden rays of the setting sun making them glow yellow with warmth as they basked in the final light of the evening.

Nikolai had grown increasing unsure of the rebellion in these past few weeks. In particular he questioned appointing a sick, traumatised prostitute with a severely sadistic streak as an executioner and scout and reward her with free drugs, from opium tea to the pills of the old world, that only made her more unstable, unpredictable and erratic.

But he also knew better than to question orders openly, and part of him didn't want his devotion to the rebellion to be a mistake, but still he couldn't help but wonder.

The rebellion had been through a major upheaval this past year in particular. The rebels had grown more unhinged, more disturbed. It was going to implode, it was out of control like a raging wildfire, and he predicted it would destroy itself before war could ever be declared.

"Hey," Halone shoved his shoulder roughly, "lost in thought there?" she asked.

He looked to her eyes, underneath dropping eyelids her pupils were dilated and the whites of her eyes were bloodshot and glassy. She was blatantly high, he could even tell by the hoarse whisper of her voice, "something like that," he answered rather gruffly.

"Hey, What was your initiation into the rebellion like?" Halone asked.

Nikolai laughed, "fucking painful," he stressed.

"I was beaten to a bloody pulp to earn my status, it's why I have these scars," he explained.

"Oh I have plenty of those," Halone said, showcasing her left arm that was carved with around one hundred deep self harm scars.

"I hope you don't do that stuff anymore," Nikolai said, it was all he could think to say. He had never really been in touch with his emotions, so he couldn't understand the relief of something that, to him, were just a hindrance on the battle field.

"Wanna know one of the worst things I ever done?" Nikolai asked her, blurting out the words he was desperate yet ashamed to say. But it had to be said.

"Sure," she nodded. He knew she would be too high to remember this, which was really the only reason why he was even prepared to discuss the issue.

"I killed a mother and her newborn child under Leiden's orders," he said, he couldn't even face Halone as he spoke. He stared downward, fidgeting with his hands as he swallowed a lump in his throat and pressed onward, "you have to understand...I didn't want to...I wish I hadn't of done it."

"Sometimes I think about the afterlife. About Hell. If it's real I'm definitely going there."

"I'm Hell-bound Halone, and I don't know how to change, or if I even can."

"I think it might be too late for me. I've sealed my own fate, it's gotta be too late for me."

Halone's eyes lazily slid over to him, through the fog of narcosis she could practically feel the sadness radiating off of him in brutal, bitterly icy waves

But she knew better than to let him speak. He had to be the one to talk.

"Y'know, the mother and kid I murdered, it wasn't in cold blood. I wanted their to be some other way. But Leiden said there wasn't. Blood for blood, that's what he said, that's what he said every time. And I've killed countless adults but kids...kids are pure, innocent. They don't understand what's going on. I see the fear in their eyes but I just close my eyes and tear out their throats, quick and clean. But the gurgling sound of them choking on their own blood...that never leaves."

"I had a girlfriend before all of this, a fiancé actually, called Luna. I was a peasant and she was royalty so it was a forbidden love by our society's rules. We planned to have a child together and, in my dreams, the kid I killed was our child that was never born. Maybe that's why I never got the chance to have a child with her...some kind of karma for what I've done."

"I'm pretty much fucked, I know that much. Whatever the afterlife is it won't be pretty, I don't think that old 'I was just following orders' thing will hold up well for me either," he said.

Without speaking Halone embraced him in a tight, warm hug.

And nothing need to be spoken between the pair.

"I'm just desperate to find some kind of...I don't know...pride. I have no pride, only shame. And I've never told anyone that before," he said, he looked to Halone and into her eyes-they were wide and pleading and encouraging, her ears were perked and wanting to help him heal by talking.

"In this brutality we've lost our humanity," he said.

Halone's brown crinkled in distress, she held their faces inches away and scanned his eyes before planting a soft, gentle kiss on his forehead.

"The bravest thing you can do is open yourself up. Make yourself vulnerable, cry out for help and it will come. Just never stop cry, cry till it hurts because it will be crying that saves you," she said, offering Nikolai a lukewarm half smile that shined with beautiful empathy.

"Isn't it funny," Halone began, "how everything seems to happen on the outside, so much so that we forget to remember to listen to our insides."

"Thank you," he answered honestly, "seriously, thank you," he said, reflecting her smile as they were in their own little world, a brilliant shining gold bubble that healed all within it.

They lingered for a moment before feeling complused to kiss. It was tender at first, each one feeling the texture and taste of one the other lips before primal urges took over and tongues were swiping and exploring with heat and passion, Nikolai roughly pushed her down onto the riverbank and began to kiss down her neck, sucking and nibbling and eventually biting down hard.

"I've been craving you ever since we last fucked."

"Hmm, me too."

"Oh you're so big already, I don't care get inside me already!" she moaned loudly, Nikolai smirked and obliged, unzipping her and tugging her underwear down as he entered her, her legs wrapped around his waist and squeezed, forcing him to penetrate her deeper.

"You like tha-wait what's that?" he asked as he glanced up to her, his eyes stopping when they fell across a stream of red liquid flowing from her nose.

Just as soon as Nikolai spoke she became aware of was a wetness dripping down her lip, she patted it gently and sat up, seeing the crimson drops of blood on her fingertips.

"Oh it's SIN, he's doing too much coke," she explained matter of factly.

"Sounds like an excuse," Nikolai said dubiously.

Halone laughed, "nah I swear! Our soul bond means when he bleeds I bled and vice-," she began to explain.

"I know how a blood bond works," Nikolai said, "still though, best lay off the drugs, eh?" he asked.

"Fat chance, fatter than the rips and rails I'll be doing!" she joked, Nikolai frowned in disappointment-this was Leiden's latest soldier? A sadistic junkie.

"Oh and for what it's worth stop worrying yourself with right and wrong. Let Leiden be the decider, he knows best, have faith and you'll be okay."

Nikolai only nodded, unconvinced.

"And also don't worry, we'll win this war, no matter what,"

———

Flash forward:

"Halone?!" Nikolai screamed above the rabid sound of claws slashing and jaws snarling. Everywhere she looked, chaos. Pure, raw, unfiltered mayhem.

She stood paralysed, unflinching and frozen.

"Halone!" he screeched his voice till it cracked, he rushed to her side and grabbed her face, the sweat and blood on his palms soaking it.

"I-is she dead?" she asked, the words escaping from her lips in an effortless yet hushed whisper. As if she was afraid to know.

"Yeah," Nikolai sighed heavily, "she's dead."

"C'mon! We don't have much time!" SIN yelled, Nikolai looked to Halone before the pair shifted in their animal forms for speed and stamina as they followed the shaggy black and white werewolf that was SIN in his animal form into the wilderness and the depths of the undergrowth.