I slump down on the couch in his apartment, exhaustion hitting me like a ten tonne truck. My body only feels somewhat numb and I don't know whether that is due to the alcohol I consumed last night or everything else.

"So you're a werewolf?" Henry asks, handing me a mug of hot cocoa as he sits beside me. Gabe leaned back into the arm chair, his own drink laying dormant on the coffee table.

He promised to explain it all when we both immediately questioned his outburst and so here we were. He said he needed a coffee but considering he hadn't touched it, I think he just needed some time.

"No." His response comes quickly. "I'm human—fully human. My step-father is a wolf and all of my siblings are too."

Both of us sit in confusion. "How..." I start, a million scenarios running through my head.

Gabe sighs deeply, pain washing over his features in a flood. "My real father was a human. My parents had me as teenagers and he died when I was young. My mom raised me for the first few years of my life on her own, back when wolves had complete power, before the reforms and I don't remember much but I know she suffered."

A single mother to a small child with no income in a world like that would. Immensely I'd say.

"I do remember meeting him though. He found both of us at the shelter we were living in on duty and marked her then and there. Tore straight into the flesh of her skin while I screamed. I only remember it in flashes past that, the blood, the look on his face and the fact that I was left alone there that night after she blacked out."

My heart twists at the story, at the way his words become tight with emotion and his eyes well up. Henry and I barely breathe.

"Of course she woke up and I was brought back to her but it wasn't easy. He would never admit to it but he hated me, probably still does. I am a walking, breathing reminder of the fact his mate was with another man, another family aside from him—every fibre of his being goes against my existence. But he couldn't get her without me."

"She wouldn't even let him be in the same room as me in the beginning, whatever his reaction to my existence was it must've been enough for her to do that with good reason. We had our space and he had his, so long as she didn't try to leave him, and coming from having nothing I don't think she would have left regardless. We had everything we needed to survive with him, it was dependency on another level and I hate myself to this day for being the reason for her staying, if it were just her she could've left and fended for herself—or at least tried."

Tears do fall from his eyes then and he doesn't bother to wipe them away. "She was so scared of him, all I ever saw in her eyes was fear, as much as she tried to put on a brave face for me I saw it. And they fought so often I don't think they had a spare moment to even think of anything else for the first few years. Things didn't even change out of love—he tried, tried being kind and gentle and respecting her space but it never lasts with them. Ever." The look he sends me is so firm it make shivers ripple down my spine.

"He used what she needed most against her to get what he wanted. Which was me. It was a good education for having her sleep in his room as opposed to mine. Getting the privilege of leaving the house unsupervised to run regular errands for family dinner each night. A budget and one day a week where we could go anywhere provided he came, the zoo or the cinemas or the aquarium, in exchange for a weekly date between them alone."

I placed my now cold hot cocoa on the coffee table, still full to the brim. I felt sick hearing his story though I knew of so many before it. It twisted my gut in a different way knowing I could relate now that my life was like this.

"In a weird way, it made our lives normal—maybe that was his goal, I don't know. But she learned to tolerate him and then somewhat like him and though I wish it didn't, it affected me in the best way possible. I was just better, more stable and happier without the constant arguing and fear and I suppose it worked."

"Where is she now?" I ask softly, trying to hold back tears of my own.

He wipes the tears from his face, sitting up straighter as frustration mounts in his eyes. "Still with him. Once they had my younger brother that was it, and then my other brother came along and my little sister after that. The mate bond worked, and I guess from the outside looking in you'd think they were in love—but its not that way. I'm probably still the only thing that will never let them be truly happy together, I make them both resentful, him by getting in the way of his perfect pure wolf family and her by serving as a reminder of what he put us through."

I can't manage any words, I can barely think of a response. "So she doesn't want to be with him?" Henry asks and Gabe sends him a firm look.

"No. Not truly. They are in some sort of fucked up relationship, I don't know but I know she's not happy. There are moments when everything is fine but the veil she puts over the truth of her life slips ever so often and... its not pretty. She'd never admit it but I genuinely think she's so afraid, so traumatised and conditioned by him that she would never tell him to his face. She tells me, when there's no one else to turn to but her life..." he looks at me, completely shattered.

"It's not her own," I mummer, the words ricocheting around my heart. It's his.

"Seeing you go through it Athena... it breaks my heart," he says sincerely. "I can't even imagine how you must be feeling and I can't do anything to help you. None of us can."

"He's not..." I stop myself, replaying the night over in my mind. "Things are different now, they aren't great but he's giving me space—"

"Then what was yesterday? Why were you hanging out with him if you didn't want to?" He interrupts, the truth shocking me yet again as I fumble for a response. "It never lasts, the promises and the space and the notion that they give a damn about your feelings on the situation. They all want the same thing in the end of the day and his Alpha blood only further proves that."

He's right, dead right. Werewolves have a very simple way of life when you look at it and their engrained traditions make figuring out motive pretty easy. He wants a wife, a lover, a mother for his kids and me to fit into the pack the way it's meant to be.

"It's not a great situation," I mumble, picking at the skin on my fingers to settle the nerves. "But what can I do? I'm just trying to enjoy my life the way I planned. I can still go to college, be with my friends and have fun - we've been doing that, haven't we?" I ask. It's not deluded to have a sense of hope.

"Athena how long do you think that's going to last?" Henry asks quietly, sadness coating his every word. I turn my attention to his eyes that are glossy with unshed tears. "Hiding from the issue isn't working, all we are doing is avoiding the inevitable."

I let out a frustrated sigh, running my hands through my hair. "I can't do anymore than I am. I wanted to keep everything separate - I tried, I'm trying. But talking about how shit it all is doesn't make it any better, my family is here, my whole life. I am okay living like this, seeing him when I have to but I can't live on the run, in fear and that's my only other option."

The thought of Micah chasing me down, enraged and fuelled with purpose makes my skin prickle with goosebumps. It's almost impossible to imagine the soft lines of his face, usually hit with sadness or a smile turned into the menacing snare of a wolf. But I saw a glimpse of it last night, of the side he has hidden that could reveal itself no matter how much it would go against his personality.

They are both silent at my outburst and so I stand up, moving from the couch to face them both. "I don't want either of you to worry about me, this isn't your burden."

Gabe meets my stance and puts him hand on my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. "You are our friend, your challenges are ours. I... how much do you know about the bond?" He questions me and it makes shame creep up in a hot swell.

"I mean, the basics I guess. What they taught us in school." Because I haven't investigated to leave the bond, though it wasn't ruled out completely in my agreement with Micah I also didn't see much point. If some revolutionary end came to the eternal bond then it would make headlines.

"You haven't done any further research?" He asks, dead serious and I shake my head, trying not to feel too stupid.

"Well... I have a pack law book." That Micah gave me, I don't say. And that Henry and I have been trying to dissect into something meaningful. "And my parents tried to figure more out but..."

I don't want to finish that thought but the look on Gabe's face tells me he knows exactly how that went down. "Thea," he says, low and in a warning tone. "He's not going to let you find anything on ending the bond."

"He said she is free to leave should science advance, there isn't exactly a whole lot of research about it right now," Henry says, in defence of me more so than Micah.

"You think the wolves are letting anyone even study that? Its part of why I left my studies guys. The whole pack system is rigged, it's an autocracy with some window dressed humans and a sprinkle of a few rights. At my previous university, which like all was state funded and ran, any students that came close in experimentation to end the goddesses bond were expelled."

My gut twists. Micah said there would never come a day where such a discovery was made. Was he speaking that with complete certainty because he knew it would be stopped?

"That's... surely the new laws would prevent that," Henry says, his brows creased and Gabe lets out a dry laugh.

"There are always loopholes and given everything that is going on, the wolves in power are doing all they can to widen the scope of such loop holes. They are slowly infringing upon the rights of humans again to prevent dissonance amongst their own ranks. My own home was bad but even here, in a more progressive pack, there have been slight removals here and there, more power awarded to authority that is predominantly made up of wolves."

"What?" I lean forward, confusion rattling my very bones.

"Ever since humans gained rights, their system has slowly fallen under attack. Everything the wolves believe in comes down to order and hierarchy, survival of the fittest. They'd never allow humans to have equal power without equal strength. In many of their eyes, humans are supposed to be at the bottom of the ladder, below the omegas and probably even rogues. The wolves aren't happy about it, not truly and the humans realising that there is still so much further to go in dismantling this fucked up world aren't either."

I think back to the article I'm writing, about the Alphas being challenged in other packs. There was little to no news coverage on the matter and finding any source material was drastically difficult. All I had as of now were speculations.

"Removing rights? What kind of rights?" Henry questions and Gabe lets out a low breath.

"It's not even so much in the removal but in their lack of existence. I mean take Athena for example. And the control of the media is still in the tight grip of many Alphas, probably even the superior and if anything occurs they don't want getting out—it doesn't. I have a criminal record, me. Mostly from peaceful protests that were shut down by pack enforcers that gave us made up charges. I was in a club at my old university that published an independent online media site speaking out against the infringement of human rights which was all but shut down."

My gut curls and twists. The pack he is from doesn't have a bad reputation when it comes to humans, but I guess when they control the reputation it's easy to do what they want. This pack doesn't have a bad reputation.

"Is that why you are here?" I ask him, my voice low and soft.

"More or less. I was suspended from continuing my degree and any units I took of interest were discontinued anyway. The crackdown is only somewhat recent but it shows that if the leaders of the pack are met with any power struggle of substance, they will do what they need to regain control."

"Because order is everything," Henry adds, earning a firm nod from Gabe.

"Their goddess is everything, their way of life. But more important to any wolf is their mate, their family. There will never come a day when they allow science to meddle with their sacred religion, or even people. My mother once went to someone, back in the beginning—once we were able to leave the house alone she went straight back to the human sectors to just see if there was an option to leave."

I don't want to hear the story but I know I need too. I don't listen with the same sympathetic edge I held before, now icy cold fear just rages within me like a ravine.

"She found one human man, a scientist who said he was researching it. He never asked her to be a test subject or imposed his findings on her but the second my step father found out it was stopped. They publicly executed him. Today that's just called prison."

"Micah wouldn't do that," I defend, like some innate part of my body compels me too. But would he? I can't imagine him, after all he has said and promised to do anything of that nature. "He's different, he hasn't bitten me or forced me to do what he wants. We have an agreement."

My words don't even convince myself and they sure as hell don't convince Gabe. Or Henry. "Micah's not stupid," Henry adds to the conversation, his words cracked at the edges. "All these promises and actions are to get you to trust him, to want to be with him on your own. But it doesn't change who he is. What he is."

"Or what he will become." I turn my attention to Gabe and try to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes.

I don't want to believe what they say to be true. Based on my experiences with him, which haven't all been sunshine and rainbows, he is nice. But how can I trust his word over that of Henry? Of my parents?

The people who have known me my whole life.

I look down to the ground. "So what am I supposed to do? Just shove my head in the sand and pretend he doesn't exist? Honestly, I have basically been doing that already and he hasn't been pushy, not like other mates. If I ask him for space or time, he will give it to me. It may not seem it from the outside but he is reasonable, and in his own strange way he does care."

"You need to stay as far away from him as you can. Don't play his games, don't pretend and absolutely do not get into anymore deals or agreements. You don't owe him your time or explanation and if he is as respectful as you think, it won't matter that you don't want anything to do with him."

But that was the concern, the kernel of fear that sat at the pit of my stomach, threatening to pop. What if he would do something? What if he is capable of holding me hostage like so many other wolves before him? Because at my core, I don't know that I can ever like someone capable of that, let alone love.

"Gabe, I feel awful for what you've been through, you didn't deserve that, she didn't deserve that. But I'm not your mom, this situation is different." Flashes of him pinned against the wall rush through my clouded mind. He can't get caught up in all this, I can explain Henry's disposition to a degree but Gabe complicates things. "I appreciate your help, both of you. And I will always value your insight I just don't think that I can do anymore than I am. I honestly think being his friend is the solution to all of this."

Henry wraps a heavy arm over my shoulder and tucks me into his side, holding me close like I might be ripped away. "I trust you, Thea. We both just want you to get what you want. I love you like you are my blood, I just... I don't want to lose you."

He wanted me to live the life we dreamed, adventuring and free.

I hug him back tightly, my chest burning with gratitude that I have someone like him in my life. "I know. I love you too."

He grins down at me, the soft pain etched in his eyes lessening somewhat. "How about we head down to the cove after breakfast?" He suggests, drawing the conversation away.

I smile and look at Gabe who still isn't convinced but he smiles gently. "I'm down," he says, standing up and stretching his legs out.

I feel a small, weight lift from my chest when he doesn't continue his opposition to Micah. I can't go back to him not knowing now, not without some mystical potion that doesn't exist. But if we don't talk about it, maybe it will move to the back of his mind and stay there.

And things can be normal between us. I can be normal.

I stand up and smooth out my shirt. "I call dibs on the best pancake." 

a/n

hey hey peeps, don't forget to comment and engage in the story! 

what are your thoughts on the chapter?

predictions for the future? 

ships?

lotsssss of love! 

k